The Connection with Marty Moss-Coane

It’s not easy to say no or to speak up if you disagree with someone or object to something that someone has said or done because it’s wrong. It often feels easier to just comply, to go along to get along, to defer especially when dealing with people in power. Organizational psychologist Sunita Sah says we pay a big emotional price when we do things against our better judgement. Dr. Sah was a self described “good girl” growing up and has spent her professional life studying defiance, ethics, advice and authority. In her new book, Defy, she writes that defiance is not always about rudeness or disobedience, rather “it’s about acting in accordance with your values when faced with the pressure to do otherwise.” Of course that means knowing what your values are. On The Connection this week: when defiance is better than compliance…how to speak up when it matters.

Marketing companies can be pretty sneaky when trying to get new customers. Instead of straightforward sales pitches, they’ve turned to manipulative tactics used by cults.

Do you dread wintertime? Learn how to love it. Psychologist Kari Leibowitz explains how to cultivate a winter mindset to cope with cold days and the dark times in life.

Do you feel blah? Does your life feel drab and unexciting? Do you have a vague sense of emptiness? You could be languishing…and you’re not alone.

Jamie Wyeth comes from a family of artists. Besides his famous father, Andrew Wyeth, there is his grandfather, illustrator N.C. Wyeth. Jamie, like his family, has strong ties to the Brandywine River Valley and to rural Maine. And while he inherited his family’s gifts, he has carved out his own artistic vision. It hasn’t always been easy. In this edition of The Connection, a conversation with Jamie Wyeth about his journey to find his place in the world, the ghosts that haunt him and why he thinks painting is an odd thing to do. Also joining us is filmmaker Glenn Holsten, whose new documentary is “Jamie Wyeth and the Unflinching Eye.” His previous film about Andrew Wyeth was featured on PBS’ American Masters.

A Pew Research Center poll in 2023 found that 65% of Americans were exhausted and 55% were angry about the state of our political system. And that was before the 2024 election! Even though the election results are official, the political polarization and partisan antipathy have not cooled down. The divide between people with different political opinions is as wide as ever. They increasingly view each other with mistrust and ridicule, which can lead to never ending conflicts and estrangement. Is this any way to run a democracy? This week on The Connection, learning to disagree better and connect across our differences. Our guests are clinical psychologist William Doherty and political scientist Lia Howard. Bill is one of the founders of Braver Angels, an organization that works to bridge the partisan divide. Lia heads up the Political Empathy Lab at the University of Pennsylvania.

How often have you heard the phrase, “Oh they’re such a narcissist!”? It’s word that’s become part of our common lingo, describing someone who feels entitled, needs constant praise and attention, is grandiose, manipulative and extremely sensitive to criticism. Chances are, you know someone who fits this description. This week on The Connection, we explore the dangers of having a relationship with a narcissist. They are skilled at manipulating others by seducing them with affection — then undermining their wellbeing and sense of self. Our guest is clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, an expert in understanding the abusive patterns of narcissistic relationships, how they begin with “love-bombing” and end up in “gaslighting.” Her latest book is It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People.

We are living in a time of sexual upheaval as evidenced by the Dobbs decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, attempts to ban books with LGBTQ themes, the fight over trans rights, the election of the first transgender member of Congress, the easy access to pornography and rising popularity of polyamory. Historian Rebecca L. Davis says we have been here before, because the tension between erotic liberation and prudery has been with us for 400 years. She says there has never been a golden age of sexual stability in America. Her new book, Fierce Desires, traces the evolution of sexuality from a reflection of one’s social and religious status to one of individual identity. She joins us to discuss what history can tell us about today’s political conflicts over gender and sex.

Generally speaking, when we use the word intelligent, we are referring to IQ or cognitive strengths. That’s the ability to process and understand information and use it to generate new knowledge. But what about EQ or emotional intelligence? That’s the ability to manage and express one’s feelings and recognize those feelings in others. It turns out there are different kinds of intelligence. This week, we talk about what it takes to recognize, understand, express and regulate your emotional life. We’ll look at how it connects you with yourself and others and how we can use it to make a better world. Our guest says that being an “emotional scientist” is a good place to start. Psychologist Marc Brackett is the founder and director of the Center for Emotional Intelligence at Yale University. He’s the author of Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help our Kids, Our Selves and Our Society.

What makes you angry? Being disrespected, ignored or interrupted? Feeling powerless, threatened or betrayed? Being cut off in traffic or put on hold? People talking in movie theaters? People constantly on their phones? Noisy leaf blowers? Long lines? We’ve all gotten mad about something, whether it’s important or trivial. That’s just part of life. But how we experience and express our anger is where things get complicated. Some lash out at others while some turn their anger in on themselves. What is our anger telling us, when is it justified, how does it lead to aggression and how can we channel it for the good of our relationships? Our guests are psychologist and anger researcher Ryan Martin and clinical psychologist Andrea Bonior.