The Connection with Marty Moss-Coane

We are living in a time of sexual upheaval as evidenced by the Dobbs decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, attempts to ban books with LGBTQ themes, the fight over trans rights, the election of the first transgender member of Congress, the easy access to pornography and rising popularity of polyamory. Historian Rebecca L. Davis says we have been here before, because the tension between erotic liberation and prudery has been with us for 400 years. She says there has never been a golden age of sexual stability in America. Her new book, Fierce Desires, traces the evolution of sexuality from a reflection of one’s social and religious status to one of individual identity. She joins us to discuss what history can tell us about today’s political conflicts over gender and sex.

For 30 years, Deborah Derrickson Kossmann was not allowed by her mother to come inside her Cherry Hill, New Jersey home. When Kossmann finally got inside, she made a horrifying discovery: the house was filthy, filled with mountains of moldering trash. There was no running water, no functioning toilet – nothing had been thrown away in years. The smell was overpowering. How had this happened? Who was her mother? Kossmann, who is now a clinical psychologist, mines her family’s history and her own to answer those questions. Her frank new memoir is titled Lost, Found, Kept. It’s about how she came to terms with her difficult mother and her traumatic childhood. She also explores the power of holding on and letting go of objects, fantasies, memories and relationships.

Ask most third graders if they like school and there’s a good chance they will give you an enthusiastic “yes!” Fast forward to high school and most students will tell you that school “sucks!” Children are built for learning, yet the more time they spend in a classroom, the more likely they will check out, feeling bored or overwhelmed — or both.

Psychiatrist Richard A. Friedman on what’s behind the country’s malaise and why we’re not helpless…or alone.

Eamon Dolan severed his relationship with his abusive mother when he was in his 40s. He had endured her physical and psychological violence as a child and later her emotional cruelty as an adult. He had tried to lay down some ground rules to prevent her from hurting him, but she broke them all so he broke off all contact. On this week’s episode, Eamon Dolan tells us what it took to cut ties with his mother. His new book, The Power of Parting, is about how child abuse undermined him well into his adulthood and how estrangement, while difficult, set him free. He says that society is overly protective of the family as the ideal unit, putting too many abused children at risk for a life of psychological pain and physical ailments. He argues that the mental health community over-values connection when disconnection is the right thing to do.

A new book, Talk: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves, reveals the hidden architecture of good conversation and how we can become better communicators.

There are songs that can transport us to memorable moments from our past, especially from our adolescence. Those memories are often vivid, conjuring up intense feelings about a first love, a broken heart, a shared experience with friends. Music, even just a few notes, has a way of unlocking forgotten events and relationships, creating a soundtrack for our lives. Our guest this week is Elizabeth Margulis, director of The Music Cognition Lab at Princeton University. She joins us to discuss why music can transport us and connect us to others, how different cultures shape our taste in music, and how melodies affect our mood. We’ll also talk about why some tunes can get stuck in our head, why repetition is central to music, where music is stored in the brain, and how music can unlock language for people with aphasia.

Slavery in America ripped a million Black families apart as they were sold, and often resold in the years leading up to the Civil War. After emancipation, desperate mothers, fathers and children placed advertisements in and wrote letters to newspapers looking for their lost loved ones. Many of their searches continued for decades, into the 20th century. Judith Giesberg has created a digital archive of the ads and letters and highlighted ten of these personal stories in her new book, Last Seen. They are an inspiring testament to the power of family and freedom and cruel realities of slavery. This week, the lost and found legacy of family separation. Judith Giesberg is a professor of history at Villanova University. Also joining us is Adrienne Whaley, an educator and genealogist.

We all have something in common: we’re going to die one day. It’s a scary thing to think about, much less talk about. But Alua Arthur thinks about and talks about death a lot. She is an end-of-life doula, helping people find some semblance of peace as they go through the dying process. Years ago, when Arthur was deeply depressed, she met a woman on a bus in Cuba who had cancer and was traveling the world before she died. Their personal conversations helped bring Alua back to life and set her on this career path. Her book, Briefly Perfectly Human: Making an Authentic Life by Getting Real About the End, is part memoir, and full of moving stories about what people want when they are dying. The organization she founded, Going with Grace, provides end of life planning, training, and support.

Stress, exhaustion and negativity can lead to workplace burnout. Kandi Wiens explains how to reset your relationship with work.