Breaking Down Patriarchy

On today's episode we celebrate International Women’s Day! This holiday traces its history all the way back to 1909 in NYC. While popular Women’s Day traditions include giving women flowers and small gifts, it is so critical that we not let this holiday become detached from its activist roots. Yes, the day is absolutely intended to be a time for us to recognize one another’s achievements as women, but it’s also a call to action, a day when we’re all encouraged to engage in difficult conversations, to challenge institutions, and to embolden our push for gender parity across the world.   With this dedication to progress in mind, it was our thrill to be joined by, Vanessa Loder, who shared not only the story of her personal journey to empowerment, but also provided her professional guidance to help each of us unravel our inner patriarchs, set boundaries, and tap into the energy that motivates us.Vanessa Loder is an inspirational keynote speaker and sought-after expert on women’s leadership, mindfulness, stress management and sustainable success. Vanessa’s work has been featured in Forbes, Fast Company, the Huffington Post and Glamour magazine, among others. Her TEDx talk “How To Lean In Without Burning Out” has over 150,000 views, over 14,000 people have taken Vanessa’s paid online courses and her guided meditations have been streamed over 787,000 times globally. Vanessa provides in-person and online educational tools that support high potential women leaders. By distilling powerful techniques for meditation, visualization, and self-compassion into simple tools and daily practices, Loder teaches women how to quiet their minds, set boundaries without feeling guilty, let go of the pressure to be “perfect”, and get more of what they want in life. Vanessa has taught at AirBnB, Bain & Co, Castlight Health, Charles Schwab, Cisco, Flextronics, Goldman Sachs, Google, LinkedIn, Mattel, PwC, Salesforce, Stanford Graduate School of Business, StubHub!, The North Face, Uber, YouTube, and many other organizations. After spending close to a decade working in finance on Wall Street and Silicon Valley, Vanessa felt that she had climbed to the top of the wrong ladder. Her personal transformation and soul awakening, subsequent research and work have led to thousands of brilliant, overwhelmed women finding their way back to soul. Vanessa received her MBA from Stanford University and her BA from Columbia University where she graduated Phi Beta Kappa, Summa Cum Laude. Loder is a certified Executive Coach, trained in Neuro-Linguistic Programming, past life regression and Vipassana meditation with Jack Kornfield. Vanessa currently lives in Lafayette, CA with her husband and two children, who remind her to take “mommy time-outs” when she’s about to lose her marbles. Visit her at https://vanessaloder.com/.Visit the Episode Page here. Additional resources referenced in this episode include:Feminine/Masculine ChartValues ToolHow to Say No Without Feeling Guilty Cheat SheetRichard Schwartz's "No Bad Parts" Interview on Insights On the Edge Richard Schwartz's book No Bad PartsMary Wolynn's It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle 30 Day Meditation Challenge 

Today in 1987, Congress passed a resolution designating March as Women’s History Month — but — not only is March Women’s History Month, here in the US March is also Irish-American Heritage Month! And what better way to ring in this new month than by learning about Ireland’s patroness saint and listening to the experiences of Irish women?First, we're joined by Ariana Baltay who contributed a fascinating segment about sacred female power, invisible labor, and the patroness saint, Brigid of Kildare. Ariana Baltay is a teacher, a mom, and a recent Stanford MLA (Masters of Liberal Arts) grad. She loves painting, traveling and swimming with the PCC Masters team. Welcome Ariana.Later in the episode, we hear from Maureen Hernon, a teacher, restauranteur, and writer who tells us about her life growing up in rural Ireland. We are so grateful that she’s joining us today to share stories from her life and, regrettably, the role that patriarchy has played in it. Visit the Episode Page here.

On today's episode I'm joined by Emily Bell McCormick for an interview about the impacts of period poverty and the battle for economic justice unfolding in state legislatures right now.For those interested in getting involved with the fight against period poverty, or any of Emily’s other incredible work, please visit The Policy Project.Emily Bell McCormick (she/her) is founder of The Policy Project— a U.S. non-profit organization made up of individuals and like-minded organizations that help educate around and move forward healthy, long-term policy at a local and national level. Emily is also the editor of Utah’s NBC affiliate KSL Studio 5 "Smarter" series--informing viewers about issues, government, policies and politics of the time and helping to empower viewers to find their place in it all. Emily is an experienced communication strategy consultant with a history of working in a myriad of industries including government, policy, NGOs, tech and fashion. Emily has a master’s degree in communication from The Ohio State University and a bachelor's degree in broadcast journalism from Brigham Young University.Visit the Episode Page here.

This coming Friday, February 18th, will be the birthday of seminal American novelist, Toni Morrison. With her legacy in mind, it’s our honor today to be joined by poet Robert Lashley to share a stunning story about the books of Toni Morrison, American literature, and a son’s unyielding love for his mother. Robert Lashley is a 2016 Jack Straw Fellow, Artist Trust Fellow, and nominee for a Stranger Genius Award. Robert Lashley has had work published in The Seattle Review of Books, NAILED, Poetry Northwest, McSweeney’s, and The Cascadia Review. His poetry was also featured in such anthologies as Many Trails to The Summitt, Foot Bridge Above The Falls, Get Lit, Make It True, and It Was Written. His previous books include THE HOMEBOY SONGS (Small Doggies Press, 2014), and UP SOUTH (Small Doggies Press, 2017). His latest book THE GREEN RIVER VALLEY, was released from Blue Cactus Press on June 17th, 2021 Content Warning: this episode contains discussion of sexual abuse and self-harm. Please take care of yourselves accordingly.Visit the Episode Page here.

On today's episode I'm joined by one-of-a-kind chess champion and streamer, Anna Rudolf to discuss her experiences in the patriarchal world of competitive chess, including a crash course on the history of female chess champions and an honest discussion about why young women walk away from the game and how everyday people can show up and create change.Anna Rudolf (she/her) is an Olympic Chess-Player and three-time Hungarian Champion. She holds both the International Master and Woman Grand Master titles. In 2013 she recorded her first video series in the studio of chess24 and has since established herself as an acclaimed chess commentator, streamer and reporter.Outside of her playing career, Anna is a regular chess commentator at high-profile tournaments, having worked with both Chess.com and chess24. She was the official commentator for the 2018 World Chess Championship together with her childhood idol Judit Polgár. She had started producing instructional videos for chess24 in 2013, and has co-hosted a series with fellow IM Sopiko Guramishvili where they are known respectively as Miss Strategy and Miss Tactics. She launched her own Twitch channel in 2018 and also runs her own YouTube channel.To learn more about Anna, you can visit her website annarudolfchess.com or tune in to one of her livestreams at twitch.tv/anna_chessVisit the Episode Page here.

On today's episode we're joined by author and podcaster Cherie Burton, who talks to us about sacred rage, the anger of ancestresses, and how we can harness the indignant energy that patriarchy boils up inside us.Cherie Burton is a mom of 6, author, holistic health business owner, Women Seeking Wholeness podcast host, and hobbyist divine feminine scholar. She has worked as a clinical counselor in the fields of mental health and addiction and now specializes in the science and spirituality of emotional healing and sensory integration; a "whole soul" approach. Cherie is a former Mrs. Utah and guides women in her Stand Speak Shine private coaching programs, retreats and online school. She travels internationally, empowering audiences with knowledge and tools to heal their trauma, find their soul callings, and embrace their wholeness.Learn more at www.CherieBurton.comVisit the Episode Page here.

Amy is joined by Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife and Monette Chilson on the topic of redefining our relationships with sexuality and sacredness.First, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife talks to us about selfhood, sexuality, and faith, delving deep into her research about how women are taught (or not taught) about their powerful capacity for pleasure in patriarchal societies. You can learn more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife and her services by visiting www.finlayson-fife.com.Next, Monette Chilson educates us about the divine feminine and the goddess Sophia, exploring how we relate to the ideal of sacredness, and what words that we use when we discuss divinity. You can learn more about Monette Chilson at www.monettechilson.com, or join her for a workshop by visiting www.jointhereclamation.com.Visit the Episode Page here.

Amy is joined by Dr. Lindsay Kite to discuss the burden of beauty standards, self-objectification, uncomfortable compliments, and how we can strive to escape the cycle of normative discontent.Dr. Lindsay Kite is co-author of the book More Than a Body: Your Body Is an Instrument, Not an Ornament (2020, HarperCollins) and co-director of the nonprofit Beauty Redefined, alongside her identical twin sister Lexie Kite. Both received PhDs from the University of Utah in the study of female body image and have become leading experts in body image resilience and media literacy. Lindsay and Lexie help girls and women recognize and reject the harmful effects of objectification in their lives through their social media activism, online course, and regular speaking engagements for people of all ages. Lindsay lives in New York City.You can learn more about Dr. Kite’s work by visiting www.morethanabody.orgVisit the Episode Page here.

On this episode – our very first episode of Season Two – we’re joined by Abby, an active-duty marine, who takes us all on a journey into patriarchy in the military, including what women’s wear looks like for our troops, the ever-present stigma against working mothers and female leaders, gender essentialism, fanaticism, envisioning what equality among our armed forces might look like, and the incredible strength of our female marines.Visit the Episode Page here.

“I was going to die, sooner or later, whether or not I had ..spoken …. My silences had not protected me. Your silences will not protect you.... What are the words you do not yet have? What are the tyrannies you swallow day by day and attempt to make your own, until you will sicken and die of them, still in silence? We have been socialized to respect fear more than our own need for language."I began to ask each time: "What's the worst that could happen to me if I tell this truth?" Unlike women in other countries, our breaking silence is unlikely to have us jailed, "disappeared" or run off the road at night. Our speaking out will irritate some people, get us called bitchy or hypersensitive and disrupt some dinner parties. And then our speaking out will permit other women to speak, until laws are changed and lives are saved and the world is altered forever.Next time, ask: What's the worst that will happen? Then push yourself a little further than you dare. Once you start to speak, people will yell at you. They will interrupt you, put you down and suggest it's personal. And the world won't end.And the speaking will get easier and easier. And you will find you have fallen in love with your own vision, which you may never have realized you had. And you will lose some friends, and realize you don't miss them. And new ones will find you and cherish you. …And at last you'll know with surpassing certainty that only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth. And that is not speaking.”― Audre LordeWelcome to Season 2 of Breaking Down Patriarchy! I’m Amy McPhie Allebest. During Season 1 of this podcast, we laid the groundwork for understanding Patriarchal systems and how they’ve functioned in Western Civilization, mostly focused on Europe and the United States. And we read Gerda Lerner’s observations that for millennia, small groups of men were recording what they called “History,” but this record was really only the stories of men, by men, about men, for men. Small, exclusive groups of men also devised all of humanity’s laws and religions, politics, sciences, arts, and they kept for themselves all roles of leadership over every field of human endeavor,  including presiding over the home. In the meantime, Lerner says,“Women’s creations sank soundlessly into the sea, leaving barely a ripple, and succeeding generations of women were left to cover the same ground others had already covered before them.” (The Creation of Feminist Consciousness)For all of recorded history Patriarchal systems continued nearly uncontested, passing along their ideology from generation to generation. It has only been within the very recent past that people have begun to speak up and change things.And so much has changed in recent years. But much is left to be done - in many realms of society patriarchal systems remain the default, and as Audre Lorde points out, it’s hard to speak against the status quo. It is devastating to be yelled at by a family member, to be frozen out of a social group, to be interrupted and put down and dismissed by strangers and by family and friends. But this is the way the world changes. This is the only way the world has ever changed. It takes individual people being brave enough to tell their stories, to speak their truth, to say “this system that we’re all perpetuating and defending - it harmed me. It harms others. We need to do better.” Whether it’s sexism or racism or homophobia or classism or ableism or ageism… the more people speak the truth, the faster things will change for the better. And conversely, if we remain silent, as Audre Lorde says, “The tyrannies [we] swallow day by day …[will cause us to] sicken and die of them, still in silence.” These silences are poison to us, and they also allow injustice to continue, and thus we participate in passing them onto the next generation.So Season 2 is about speaking. It’s about stories. In contrast to Season 1, which mostly followed a chronological timeline and was anchored in academic texts and legislation, Season 2 will feature a wide variety of topics, all of them demonstrating aspects of Patriarchy that the speakers have witnessed in their own lives. We’ll hear stories of women on construction sites, in engineering fields, in war zones, in chess tournaments, and marching in the streets. We’ll learn about the divine feminine and sacred rage, fashion and feminism in Saudi Arabia, the fight for equality in Iceland, 5th-century Irish saints, and we’ll even go behind the scenes in Hollywood boardrooms. We’ll listen to coming-of-age struggles and feminist awakenings, to poetry and to science, to deeply personal confessions and astonishing research and dozens upon dozens of unique voices - men, women, and nonbinary voices - some well-known, some not well-known, some anonymous, all of whom have spoken their truth bravely, and have come together to help us create this incredible new season. Our first speaker, next week, is a woman named Abby. She is an active-duty marine and she will  discuss  the daily challenges and triumphs of women in one of our nation’s most patriarchal institutions. The following week we will hear from Dr. Lindsay Kite of Beauty Redefined, who is on the front lines leading the charge against harmful beauty standards. From there we’ll continue our season of incredible stories, (pause) and to give you taste of what’s to come, we’ll fade out with a sample of a few of this Season’s brave voices, which will not “sink silently into the sea,” like so many of our foremothers’ voices,  but will instead impact all of our lives as we learn from their experiences how to break down the patriarchy in our minds, in our homes, and in our society’s institutions. Listen all year to these and many other voices, on BDP.