

Becoming UnDone
Toby Brooks
Hosted by professor, speaker, and performance & comeback scientist Dr. Toby Brooks (@tobybrooksphd), Becoming UnDone is where high-achievers come to reckon with rock bottom—and rise again. Every week, we explore what happens when life doesn’t go according to plan. Through raw stories, vulnerable insights, and powerful conversations, we dive into the pain of identity loss, the paralysis of burnout, and the transformative power of coming apart.This isn’t just about failure. It’s about what you do next.Whether you’re an executive questioning your purpose, an athlete facing the end, or a leader secretly unraveling, this show is your reminder: the coming apart isn’t the end of the story—it’s the beginning of something greater. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “What in the hell next?”—you’re in the right place.https://linktr.ee/tobybrooksphd
Episodes
Mentioned books

Sep 9, 2025 • 15min
135 | From The Professor's Playbook: All-Nighters, Strategic Planning, & Aristotelian Generosity
About the HostToby Brooks is an academic professional specializing in athletic training and sports medicine. Currently serving as the Director of the Academy for Teaching & Learning and a Clinical Professor at Baylor University, Toby has a rich background in athletic training, having previously worked as the head football athletic trainer at Liberty University. With a proven track record in educational settings and significant experience in content creation as a former director for RPM Magazine, Toby brings a wealth of knowledge in sports medicine and strategic planning.Episode SummaryJoin Dr. Toby Brooks in this thought-provoking episode of the Professor's Playbook, also streamed as part of his popular podcast, Becoming UnDone. Toby delves into the challenging balance of strategic planning and liberality in the realms of athletic training and sports medicine. With personal anecdotes from his blue-collar upbringing and insights into strategic planning, listeners gain a valuable understanding of the importance of balancing work ethics with smart resource management.In this episode, Toby explores the concept of liberality or generosity — not to be confused with political connotations — in the context of Aristotelian virtues. The discussion centers around strategic thinking and wise stewardship in high-performance environments, emphasizing the significance of aligning actions with values for long-lasting impact. By integrating SEO keywords such as "strategic planning," "liberality," "athletic training," and "sports performance," listeners get an enticing glimpse into Toby's insights about living responsibly while pursuing high goals.Key TakeawaysStrategic thinking is vital in athletic training and sports medicine, where aligning everyday actions with long-term goals defines success.Liberality, as an Aristotelian virtue, involves wise stewardship of resources, not limited to just financial wealth.Building and optimizing high-performance units rely heavily on effective people, process, and place synergy.Systems trump goals: Successful outcomes are achieved through well-established habits and processes rather than ambition alone.Regularly auditing and improving systems ensures sustainable and strategic resource use in professional and personal capacities.Notable Quotes"You don't rise to the level of your goals; you fall to the level of your systems.""Strategic thinkers don't just do more, they do better.""Liberality isn’t just about money; it's the moral orientation toward wise stewardship of all resources.""What separates good professionals from the great ones is the ability to think strategically over time.""Everybody loves to set goals, but goals are outcomes."ResourcesToby Brooks' Linktree - Connect with Toby Brooks for more insights and updates."Becoming Undone" Podcast - Explore more episodes where Toby discusses personal and professional growth strategies.RPM Magazine - An automotive publication once directed by Toby Brooks, highlighting his expertise in feature writing and magReach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!Support the showBecoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Sep 7, 2025 • 51min
134 | Legendary: John Lopez's Hall of Fame Journey in Athletic Training
About the GuestJohn Lopez is a renowned figure in athletic training with a storied career that spanned over five decades. Starting as an electrical engineer major, John pivoted to the athletic training profession, emerging as a pivotal contributor and mentor to countless individuals in the field. He served in various capacities, including being the head athletic trainer for the Baltimore Colts and an assistant with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Known for his resilience and mentorship skills, John Lopez was inducted into the National Athletic Trainers' Association (NATA) Hall of Fame in 2012. Now retired, he continues to impact the industry with his insights and reflections on the evolving landscape of athletic training.Episode SummaryIn this episode of Becoming UnDone, host Dr. Toby Brooks delves into the extraordinary journey of John Lopez, a pioneer in athletic training who scaled the heights of the profession amid various challenges. This conversation unfolds with John sharing his unconventional path into athletic training, fueled by missteps in his early academic career and eventual redemption through perseverance. Today, he reflects on the essential role of mentorship, the evolution of the athletic training profession, and the cultural shifts needed to empower young professionals entering the field.Key TakeawaysMentorship is Critical: John Lopez underscores the irreplaceable role mentorship played in his career, advocating for increased focus on mentorship for the current generation of athletic trainers.Adapting to Change: There's an expressed need for the athletic training profession to adapt and evolve to provide better salary conditions and work-life balance.Burnout is Real: Lopez candidly discusses his experiences with burnout and the importance of having a supportive family to navigate and overcome challenging times.Professional Misalignment: Concerns about the disconnect between the number of accredited training programs and viable job opportunities highlight a pressing issue for the profession.Community Support: Building strong networks and connections within the field is essential to support athletic trainers' professional and personal growth.Notable Quotes"I crashed and burned twice big time. But thank God I had a wife who was strong enough to hold me up." – John Lopez"Our kids are far, far better educated than I was, or any of the people that were to us." – John Lopez"If you have a good support system if you have a good spouse, a good family, and they understand what you're doing, that's important." – John Lopez"In many respects, when you work for the athletics part of the organization, you're the one who basically is going to have to live by their rules." – John LopezResourcesJohn Lopez's NATA Hall of Fame BioBubs Naturals Collagen ProductsJoin the full episode for an enthralling discussion that not only serves as an inspiration but also provides actionable insights for those navigating their career paths in athletiReach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!Support the showBecoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Sep 2, 2025 • 13min
133 | Derrick Rose's Journey: A Lesson in Temperance and Resilience
About the HostDr. Toby Brooks is a seasoned expert in athletic training, sports medicine, and movement science. He is well-respected in his field for his deep understanding of sports injuries, rehabilitation, and the virtues necessary for effective clinical practice. He is the host of "The Professor's Playbook" and the podcast "Becoming Undone," where he synthesizes complex sports and medical topics into actionable advice. His expertise is rooted in a thorough knowledge of biomechanics and a commitment to fostering long-term health in athletes.Episode SummaryIn this episode of Becoming UnDone: from the Professor's Playbook host Dr. Toby Brooks takes a deep dive into the concept of temperance within the context of athletic training and sports medicine, using NBA star Derrick Rose's career as a pivotal case study. At the height of his career, Rose faced a life-altering ACL injury that forced him to choose between short-term success and long-term health, a choice emblematic of temperance, which Brooks explores as a critical virtue for healthcare professionals. Through a detailed exploration of Derrick Rose's journey, Dr. Brooks weaves in the broader implications of temperance, both in decision-making processes and professional boundaries within sports medicine.Brooks discusses the pressures athletes and clinicians face to fast-track recovery to return to competition, highlighting Derrick Rose's controversial decision to undergo a full meniscus repair instead of quicker-fix surgeries. The episode further delves into the broader relevance of temperance in maintaining ethical standards, navigating professional boundaries, and fostering lasting trust between clinicians and their patients. Filled with insightful commentary, Brooks frames his discussion with philosophical and ethical perspectives, bringing in Greek philosophy and biblical teachings to ground his arguments on temperance as balance and measured action. The episode not only highlights the moral complexity of sports medicine decisions but also offers actionable guidance for restoring balance in clinical practices.Key TakeawaysDerrick Rose's journey underscores the critical importance of temperance—a virtue reflecting balance and long-term thinking in decision-making.Decision-making in sports medicine should focus on long-term health over short-term gains to ensure the well-being of athletes.Professional boundaries and ethical practices in healthcare are essential, requiring restraint and careful judgment to maintain trust.Clinicians must balance empathy with clear judgment to avoid becoming over-identified with their patients, thereby maintaining professional effectiveness.Temperance is not simply about withholding desires but making the "right" decisions that align with ethical responsibilities and patient care.Notable Quotes:"They don't come much more idiotic than Skip Bayless or Stephen A. Smith." — Toby Brooks"Temperance isn't about less; it's about right. The right measure, the right moment, the right motive." — Toby Brooks"That sweet spot. That's compassionate clarity and it's cool-headed confidence." — Toby Brooks"Temperance helps you hold thReach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!Support the showBecoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Aug 31, 2025 • 53min
132 | MAX OUT: Lubbock Christian Head Football Coach Chris Softley's Playbook for Life and Leadership
About the GuestChris Softley is the head football coach and athletic director at Lubbock Christian High School in Texas. With a strong background in athletics, he played collegiate football until injuries led him to pivot towards coaching. Known for his leadership, grit, and deep faith, Coach Softley has made a significant impact in the realm of high school sports, molding young athletes into not only talented players but also well-rounded individuals. His approach focuses on leveraging sports as a platform to instill life lessons, emphasizing the importance of identity, resilience, and holistic development both on and off the field.Episode SummaryIn this inspiring episode of Becoming UnDone, host Toby Brooks sits down with Chris Softley, the influential head football coach and athletic director at Lubbock Christian High School. Chris shares his journey from a promising young athlete in Nebraska with dreams of playing for the Nebraska Cornhuskers, to a transformative leader in high school athletics in Texas. Through candid reflections on his own experiences with injury, identity, and unfulfilled dreams, Chris delivers powerful insights about the pathways to personal growth, leadership, and the pursuit of meaningful impact beyond athletic achievements.Coach Softley discusses the pivotal moments that shaped his career, including the life-changing injury that redirected his path towards coaching. At Lubbock Christian, Chris is celebrated for crafting an unparalleled culture of excellence that extends beyond the weight room and playing field—all rooted in faith, integrity, and authentic relationships. His strategic focus on strength, conditioning, and character building, intertwined with a deep compassion for every student-athlete, underscores his commitment to preparing young individuals for challenges in sports and in life. The conversation highlights the importance of empathy, understanding, and nurturing each person’s unique talents, echoing the sentiment that true success is measured by the lives we positively impact.Key TakeawaysHolistic Approach to Leadership: Coach Softley underscores the need for an integrated approach to coaching that nurtures both the athlete and the individual grounded in core values and identity.Empathy in Coaching: Softley emphasizes the power of empathy in leadership, advocating for coaches who connect deeply with their players' experiences and challenges.Resilience and Identity: The episode highlights the importance of redefining personal success by concentrating on building resilience and maintaining a robust sense of self-identity, independent of athletic accomplishments.Legacy Beyond the Game: Through his narrative, Chris demonstrates how to leverage sports as a significant avenue for imparting life skills and enabling personal growth.Maximizing Potential: Softley advocates for continuous improvement and maximizing one's talents, whether in athletics, academics, or personal life.Notable Quotes"I felt like I was born to be a quarterback… but apparently not for very long.""We want young men and young women to leave here and say, that wasn't juReach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!Support the showBecoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Aug 22, 2025 • 37min
131 | Nick Peck: Finding Purpose and Healing Through Storytelling and Faith
About the GuestNick Peck is an accomplished author and former collegiate athlete, known for his compelling storytelling, particularly in his latest work, Only Way Out. Growing up in an abusive, alcoholic household in California, Nick faced significant trauma and adversity. He eventually found refuge in sports, earning a scholarship in football. Transitioning into journalism and authorship after retiring from athletics, Nick has made it his mission to inspire and help others through his genuine and heartfelt narratives. His works are informed by his personal experiences, motivating readers by illustrating resilience and the transformative power of storytelling.Episode SummaryIn this captivating episode of Becoming UnDone, host Toby Brooks interviews author and former collegiate athlete Nick Peck, exploring themes of resilience, identity, and healing through storytelling. Nick shares his tumultuous upbringing in California, detailing how sports served as his escape from a life marred by trauma and instability. His latest book, "Only Way Out," is a compelling testament to his journey and an inspiration for others seeking solace and purpose amidst chaos.The conversation delves into how Peck used writing as a therapeutic outlet, crafting a narrative that resonates with many. Touching on the power of family, forged in adversity, and the community found in sports, Nick offers valuable insights into how identity can be formed and reformed in the face of life's challenges. The episode also highlights Nick's journey of faith, mentorship, and the impactful role of writing in processing his past. This episode is a profound exploration into overcoming adversity and finding new purpose through creative expression.Key TakeawaysSports can provide structure and a surrogate family for those growing up in chaotic environments, offering a path to new beginnings and opportunities.Writing and storytelling can serve as powerful tools for healing, allowing individuals to process trauma and speak truth from their scars.The importance of perseverance and gratitude is emphasized, with Nick underlining the mantra of "don't quit" as key to overcoming life's challenges.Faith evolved from a latent childhood connection into a guiding force, providing strength and perspective in overcoming adversity.Journaling is highlighted as a beneficial practice for mental and emotional health, encouraging reflection and preemptive coping strategies.Notable Quotes"I think there's one thing that separates all great people from everyone else, and it's just that they don't quit.""Even though I loved my journalism gig, I was kind of looking for a purpose.""I was always questioning, 'Oh, why me?' But now I'm more grateful for it because it made me the person I am.""There's something so valuable about actually writing stuff down, especially in this ever-changing digital world.""Having faith in God has really helped me…there's always one person on my team, and that's God every single day."ResourcesNick Peck's Book: Only Way OutNick Peck's WebsiteReach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!Support the showBecoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Aug 11, 2025 • 45min
130 | Jacyln Emery: Navigating Identity and Resilience Beyond College Basketball's End
About the GuestJaclyn Emery is a high school athletic trainer working at McKinney Boyd High School, just outside of Dallas, Texas. She has an extensive background as a multi-sport athlete, having excelled in basketball and track during high school and continued to play basketball at the collegiate level at Hardin-Simmons University. Jaclyn is passionate about advocating for student-athletes and helping them transition through the challenges of their sports careers. Alongside her professional responsibilities, Jaclyn is also building a significant presence on social media, sharing insights on athletic training and her experiences as an athletic mom.Episode SummaryIn this episode of Becoming UnDone, host Toby Brooks talks to Jaclyn Emery, a high school athletic trainer whose personal journey sheds light on the complexities of ending a sports career and redefining one's identity post-sport. The conversation begins with Jaclyn discussing her early years as an athlete, where she excelled in basketball, dreaming of playing for elite teams like UConn and pursuing a career in the WNBA. As life unfolded, she found herself at Hardin-Simmons University, balancing her athletic career with her educational pursuits in athletic training. Jaclyn shares the intense pressure she faced, the challenges of a coaching change during her college years, and how her competitive spirit powered her through those difficult times.Throughout the episode, Jaclyn reflects on the key moments that shaped her outlook on life beyond basketball. She candidly shares how the unexpected end of her college sports career due to a coaching change was a pivotal moment that required emotional resilience and introspection. Her experiences have fueled her passion for helping young athletes navigate personal challenges and maintain a balanced identity that goes beyond sports. Toby and Jaclyn also delve into the broader implications of athletic identity, touching upon the significance of mental health and the crucial support networks that bolster athletes during transitions.Key TakeawaysThe transition out of sports requires a redefinition of personal identity, moving beyond being solely an athlete.Supportive relationships, including family and mentors, play a crucial role in navigating challenging transitions.Mental health is a key consideration for athletes and should not be overlooked amidst physical training and achievement.The role of athletic trainers goes beyond physical care, assisting athletes in managing emotional and mental challenges.Personal setbacks and experiences can fuel one's passion to serve and guide others facing similar challenges.Notable Quotes"Basketball was really where my passion was. I liked the pumpkin thump, thump.""It was the hardest year of my life, I can tell you that.""My dad having a conversation at the dinner table… said, you can be a mom and still be a former athlete.""God works in weird ways. That little voice was saying, it's okay, it's good.""You never know what's going on between that kid's ears."Resources:Jaclyn Emery's Social Media: Instagram: Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!Support the showBecoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Aug 10, 2025 • 34min
129 | Part 15: Celebrating Coach Dick Tomey’s Legacy of Leadership and Love
About the HostToby Brooks is a dedicated podcaster and storyteller, passionate about exploring the human story behind success and adversity. Known for his insightful and compelling docuseries, Toby seeks to uncover life lessons from influential figures across various domains, including sports, leadership, and personal growth. His podcast, "Becoming Undone," delves deep into transformative journeys and provides listeners with valuable insights into overcoming challenges.Episode SummaryIn this heartfelt finale of the docuseries on Coach Dick Tomey, Toby Brooks ties together the narratives of leadership, resilience, and the indelible impact of coaching beyond the confines of the football field. As Toby navigates through listener interactions and personal reflections, he highlights the profound influence of Coach Tomey on countless athletes, coaches, and individuals enriched by his legacy.This episode dissects the core values instilled by Coach Dick Tomey, such as leadership, loyalty, and culture-building, which transcended his remarkable career achievements. Toby Brooks delves into lessons learned throughout the series, emphasizing the legacy left by Dick Tomey that continues to inspire both in sports and life. Through compelling anecdotes and interviews with former players and colleagues, the narrative crafts a blueprint of purpose-driven leadership, illustrating how Tomey's vision cultivated a lasting legacy of character and connection.Key TakeawaysLeadership Beyond Titles: Dick Tomey exemplified that true leadership is about trust and making individuals feel valued, rather than relying solely on positional authority.Building Belief Through Belonging: Tomey’s coaching philosophy centered on creating a sense of belonging before instilling belief, fostering environments where athletes could thrive personally and professionally.Legacy of Loyalty: Tomey’s unwavering loyalty to his team and community highlighted the importance of commitment over personal advancement.Cultural Architect: Through his approach to team culture, Tomey established an ethos of relentless effort and unity that laid the foundation for success.Notable Quotes“People perform best when they feel like they're part of something that values them as individuals first.”“Belief can be the seed, not the fruit; let it tip the balance for someone to start believing too.”“His loyalty inspired theirs…it’s about commitment to a place and a people, even a contentment, but never a complacency.”“Culture shapes behavior when no one is watching, setting the standard for how people treat one another.”“True impact isn't about how many people know your name; it's about how many lives you can make better.”Resources:Becoming Undone Podcast: Listen to more episodes here.Contact Toby Brooks: Email - toby@undonepodcast.comBubs Naturals: bubsnaturals.com/undoneDive into the complete episode to experience the full journey encapsulated in Coach Tomey's legacy, and stay tuned for mReach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!Support the showBecoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Aug 2, 2025 • 1h 24min
128 | Surviving a Nightmare: John Ulsh's Journey from Tragedy to Purpose
About the GuestJohn Ulsh is an inspiring public speaker, author, and survivor who has transformed personal tragedy into a powerful mission of resilience and motivation. At 37, John's life dramatically changed following a nearly fatal car accident involving his entire family. Despite undergoing over 45 surgeries and extensive rehabilitation, John emerged with a renewed sense of purpose. Now, he dedicates his life to inspiring others as a motivational speaker and author of his book, The Upside of Down, while balancing his career in real estate and his family life in Pennsylvania.Episode SummaryIn this compelling episode of Becoming UnDone, host Toby Brooks engages with John Ulsh, whose life was irrevocably changed by a devastating car accident. With unyielding courage and resilience, John recounts the physical and emotional barriers he overcame after the collision that nearly claimed his and his family's lives. John's journey to recovery, marked by over 45 surgeries, serves as a testament to human perseverance. He shares how he turned immense pain into purpose, aiding his transformation from adversity towards helping others facing their own "purpose storms."Throughout the episode, John explores the deeply personal psychological journey he undertook en route to recovery, including suffering from survivor's guilt and battling narcotic dependency. He introduces key concepts such as finding meaning through serving others, embracing the process over the finish line, and being intentional in the face of life's upheavals. Both Toby and John reflect on the delicate balance between humility and the imperative to share one's story to uplift and inspire others with its authenticity. This conversation not only inspires, but also equips listeners with tangible strategies for overcoming their own life obstacles.Key TakeawaysThe importance of community and support systems in navigating severe trauma and recovery.The role of intentional decision-making in shifting from survival to recovery and thriving.Finding new purpose and contributing to others' healing as a means to heal oneself.Overcoming psychological barriers like survivor's guilt and the complexity of mental health issues post-trauma.The power of physical fitness and setting intentions in reclaiming control over one's life and body.Notable Quotes"I survived, only to have to undergo years of intensive rehab and over 45 surgeries and counting.""Somewhere in that nursing home, I kind of realized I wasn't going to die. Now somewhere in the nursing home, I started wishing I would have died.""I miss my old daddy, the one who would come out and train with me.""In the end, it's this constant, like I was battling it today…to how much to let things pull you and how much to push it."Resources:John Ulsh's WebsiteJohn Ulsh on InstagramReach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!Support the showBecoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jul 12, 2025 • 54min
127 | The Life, Lessons, and Legacy of Dick Tomey Part 14: The Untold Love Story of Coach Tomey & Nanci Kincaid
About the GuestNanci Kincaid is a celebrated novelist known for her emotionally resonant storytelling and authentic voice. She gained notable acclaim for her book Balls, published in 1998, which offers insights into the life of coaches' wives. Nanci was married to the late legendary coach Dick Tomey, whose coaching career spanned several successful programs, including Hawaii, Arizona, and San Jose State. Nanci has been an influential voice among spouses of sports professionals, providing a unique perspective from the sidelines of major college football. Her insights into life with a prominent coach and her own career as an author make her a compelling storyteller and personality.Episode SummaryIn this episode of Becoming UnDone, host Toby Brooks engages with Nanci Kincaid, the widow of iconic football coach Dick Tomey, to explore the legacy and lessons left by her late husband. Known for transforming underdog teams into contenders, Coach Tomey's leadership style was both demanding and compassionate, a hallmark of his illustrious career. His driving belief that "great coaches go into impossible places and make them possible" embodies his approach to coaching and life. Nanci shares memories and insights from their life together, painting an intimate portrait of a man who, despite the demands of a high-stakes profession, maintained deep personal connections and a commitment to character-building.The episode delves into the challenges of the 2000s season, a pivotal point in Coach Tomey’s career, capturing the emotional weight of leading through difficult times. Nanci recounts how Tomey's belief in forgiveness, optimism, and continual growth helped both him and his teams succeed against odds. From discussions on leadership principles to personal anecdotes about life beyond the field, this episode offers a profound exploration of the values that Dick Tomey instilled not just in his players, but everyone around him. The conversation encapsulates the essence of maintaining cultural integrity, choosing happiness as a decision, and the significance of leaving a legacy defined by love and loyalty.Key TakeawaysLegacy of Leadership: Coach Dick Tomey's leadership style was marked by compassion, forgiveness, and a commitment to developing character in his players.Life Beyond Football: For Coach Tomey, football was not only about winning games but was a medium to teach important life lessons and foster personal growth.Resilience Through Challenges: The 2000 season was a testament to Tomey's resilience and ability to remain focused on team and individual values amidst professional turmoil.The Power of Forgiveness: One of Tomey’s greatest strengths was his ability to forgive, enabling others to grow and learn from their mistakes without fear of retribution.Cultural Impact: Coach Tomey's influence went beyond his formal coaching role, as he developed lasting relationships and left a timeless legacy in multiple communities.Notable Quotes"Great coaches go into impossible places and make them possible." – Nanci Kincaid"I'm a learner. And that was the most romantic feeling thing I had ever heaReach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!Support the showBecoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jun 30, 2025 • 8min
126 | The Impact of a Purpose Storm: Transforming Loss into New Beginnings
About the HostToby Brooks is an introspective speaker, coach, and author with experience in helping high-performance athletes and high achievers from diverse industries such as the arts, military, and entrepreneurship to navigate significant transitions in their lives. Through his personal journey from being an athlete to becoming a mentor and coach, Toby developed a keen insight into the identity shifts that accompany career and life changes. He has developed the UN.D.O.N.E. (tm) coaching model, aimed at helping individuals rebuild their lives and careers from the inside out.Episode SummaryIn this podcast episode, Toby Brooks explores the deep emotional journey many face as they transition from roles that once defined them. As someone who once sat in a locker room dealing with the loss of his identity as an athlete, Toby draws parallels between his experience and the struggles others face when their professional or personal identities change. He delves into what he terms "purpose storms," moments when individuals must confront the daunting question of who they are now that their previous roles have ended.The episode further unpacks the journey of self-discovery and identity evolution. Toby highlights that losing an identity, whether it's as an athlete, a military leader, or a corporate executive, does not mean an end but rather a shift towards becoming something new. Using the story of Olympian Michael Phelps, he illustrates the profound impact identity loss can have and the need to grieve one's past identity to embrace new opportunities. This thoughtful discourse also introduces Toby's own UN.D.O.N.E. Method (tm), a framework for personal growth and transformation designed to guide people through significant life shifts with intention and courage.Key Takeaways:Identity transitions are a common and challenging experience that many people face, irrespective of their profession or achievement level.Experiencing the end of a significant role or identity can lead to a deep period of introspection referred to as "purpose storms."Grieving past identities is essential to moving forward and embracing new opportunities and roles in life.The "Undone Method," Toby Brooks' coaching model, offers a structured approach to navigating personal and professional transitions.Identity does not disappear with the loss of a role; it evolves, and with support, the shift can lead to new, fulfilling paths.Notable Quotes:"Endings aren't just about what stops. They're about what shifts.""Identity doesn't evaporate. It evolves.""You might not be the athlete anymore, but maybe you're the mentor, the coach, the author, the entrepreneur.""You have to grieve the old before you can greet the new.""Even when it feels like it's over, it might just be the beginning."Resources:Toby Brooks' Website: tobyjbrooks.comTune in to the full episode to engage with Toby Brooks' insightful journey and learn more about navigating life's transitions. Stay tuned for more compelling discussions on identity, purpose, and transformation in upcoming episodes.Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!Support the showBecoming Undone is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyJBrooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.


