Identified with Nabil Ayers

What if your most formative identity traits come from people you didn’t grow up with? In this powerful episode of Identified, rapper and queer icon Cakes Da Killa reflects on growing up in Teaneck, New Jersey, raised by his teenage mother and grandmother. He shares openly about the complexities of reconciling with an absent father, discovering inherited traits in unexpected family members, and why — as a queer person — chosen family has always played a central role in his life. This episode touches on: Intergenerational strength from women in his family The slow repair of fractured paternal relationships The trauma of losing family homes and generational wealth The nuance of chosen vs. biological family And why his mother’s strength remains his biggest inspiration With clarity, wit, and raw honesty, Cakes shows that family — like identity — is something you get to define on your own terms.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Identified, host Nabil Ayers speaks with Bandsplain host Yasi Salek, who shares a moving, honest account of growing up Iranian-American in 1980s Los Angeles. Yasi discusses her family’s immigration story post-Iranian revolution, her experience being the “other” in a predominantly white community, and the identity conflict that shaped her early life — including moments of rebellion in pursuit of American assimilation. The conversation explores the nuances of Middle Eastern family dynamics, the pressures of cultural tradition, and the value of commitment — both in blood ties and chosen families. Yasi reflects on a formative high school chapter in Singapore, her deep bond with her cousins, and the remarkable legacy of her grandfather: a communist, a vegetarian in the 1920s, and an enduring symbol of independence and personal philosophy. Guest: Yasi Salek Host: Nabil Ayers Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers speaks with Massima Bell—music producer, model, activist, and co-creator of Transa—about her journey through gender, place, and chosen family. Massima grew up between two vastly different worlds: a 100-year-old farmhouse in rural Iowa and a life on the move with her mother, a PhD who brought her to urban and suburban spaces from Maryland to Buffalo. Her relationship with place—particularly the tension between the beauty of nature and the discomfort of rural social spaces—forms a backdrop to her story of coming into her identity. Massima shares how coming out as nonbinary and later as a trans woman shaped her relationships with her parents, especially the profound moment her father responded to her transition with just one word: “Congratulations.” She opens up about estrangement and reconciliation with her mother, the challenges of early transition, and the emotional weight of building a life where her body and spirit could align. This episode explores themes of gender identity, ancestry, estrangement, reconciliation, rural vs. urban America, and the power of chosen family—especially the trans women she calls her “sisters,” who form the heart of her most meaningful bonds. Guest: Massima Bell Host: Nabil Ayers Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji Production Company: Palm Tree IslandSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Identified, host Nabil Ayers is joined by Jad Abumrad—artist, musician, journalist, and creator of Radiolab, Dolly Parton’s America, More Perfect, and Fela Kuti: Fear No Man—for a conversation about grief, family history, and what it means to belong to a culture you weren’t fully given.Jad shares stories from his Lebanese family: a great-grandmother whose ring he lost in the sea, a grandfather who buried his mother on the side of the road at age 10, and a father who narrowly survived a civil war and brought his entire extended family to Tennessee. But it’s only in recent years that Jad began to ask the deeper questions: What actually happened in Lebanon? Why did his family never talk about it? And what does it mean to claim a cultural identity that was never fully passed down?We also talk about: Growing up Arab in the U.S. during the Iran hostage crisis and 9/11 His early reporting in Lebanon and how it helped shape his voice The grief that shaped his family, and the one loss that reshuffled everything Choosing to raise kids with a sense of inherited identity—even when you didn’t grow up with one yourself Jad’s story is a moving reminder that family is built not just on what we’re given—but also on what we ask, uncover, and pass forward. Guest: Jad AbumradHost: Nabil AyersExecutive Producer: Kieron BanerjiProduced by: Palm Tree IslandMusic by: Noella & Patricia BrennanSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nabil Ayers is joined by writer Casey Kahn, who opens up about her personal journey through adoption, identity, and ancestry. Casey was adopted at two days old, raised by a deeply loving family in a tight-knit home—but everything changed when she had her own children and began searching for answers about her origins. With the help of 23andMe, private investigators, and a handful of uncanny coincidences, Casey uncovered a complex and heartbreaking family history, including two biological siblings she had never met—and a mother struggling with severe mental illness who had given each of them away. Through humor, heartbreak, and honesty, Casey reflects on: Growing up adopted and feeling like she “fell from the sky” The emotional impact of meeting her birth siblings as an adult How giving birth sparked a deeper urgency to understand where she came from Her mother’s refusal to engage, and the power—and pain—of seeing her face-to-face Guest: Casey Kahn Host: Nabil Ayers Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji Produced by: Palm Tree IslandSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this deeply personal episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers is joined by Dani Shapiro, the bestselling author and host of the podcast Family Secrets. Dani shares the stunning revelation that changed her life: learning through a DNA test that the man who raised her was not her biological father. Raised in an Orthodox Jewish family with deep cultural and religious roots, Dani takes us through the unraveling of family secrets, the discovery of a new biological lineage, and the complex emotional terrain of love, loss, and identity. She reflects on what it means to belong—to a culture, to a religion, to a family—and how nurture, nature, and narrative intertwine. From her father’s hidden marriages and a poetic Aunt Shirley who preserved generations of Jewish family history, to the new “sister-friend” she never knew she had, Dani's story expands the idea of what family can be. Together, Dani and Nabil explore the paradox of knowing and unknowing, and the quiet power of claiming your own truth in a world full of assumptions.   Guest: Dani Shapiro Host: Nabil Ayers Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji Produced by Palm Tree IslandSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers is joined by Devi Mambouka, the artist and producer behind Masma Dream World, for a reflective conversation on ancestry, spirituality, and chosen family. Born in Gabon and raised by her mother’s Bengali side of the family, Devi opens up about the early disconnection from her father’s culture and how she set on a journey to rediscover the Gabonese side of her identity—through food, music, language, and spirit. The conversation explores the power of rituals, especially around cooking and feeding others, as a way to form bonds, process grief, and reclaim lost traditions. “If I cook for you,” Devi says, “you’re family.”This is one of the most spiritually resonant conversations in the series so far. Host: Nabil AyersGuest: Masma Dream World (Devi Mambouka)Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji Produced by Palm Tree IslandSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers sits down with David Cross—Emmy-winning comedian, writer, and actor, best known for Mr. Show with Bob and David, Arrested Development, and The Ben Stiller Show. Over the course of his career, David has earned multiple Emmy and Grammy nominations and shared three SAG Award nominations for Outstanding Ensemble in a Comedy Series. Behind his sharp wit and cultural commentary lies a turbulent upbringing: frequent evictions, extreme poverty, a volatile father who vanished, and a mother doing everything she could to stay afloat. David recounts how those early years shaped him—not just as a comic, but as a person still reckoning with identity, responsibility, and what it means to create a different life for your own child. They explore themes of Jewish identity, inherited trauma, the gradual disconnection from his British-Jewish extended family, and the firm decision to cut off contact with his father—despite living in the same city for over 20 years. Now a father himself, David reflects on the gravity of being present, the legacy of emotional absence, and the quiet work of choosing a better path than the one you came from. Guest: David Cross. Host: Nabil Ayers. Executive Producer: Kieron Banerji. Identified is produced and distributed by Palm Tree Island.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers talks with Youngmi Mayer—comedian, author, and host of the acclaimed Feeling Asian podcast—about growing up biracial in South Korea, the long shadow of generational trauma, and the unresolvable contradictions that shape our identities. Youngmi, who was born in Korea to a Korean mother and white American father, opens up about the deep stigma around mixed-race children in Korean society—stories that include institutional rejection and even state violence in recent history. She shares how being “slightly different” in appearance made her feel completely othered, despite speaking Korean fluently and being raised in Korean culture. The conversation travels through her complex ancestry—including the discovery of Jewish lineage through a 23andMe test that rewrote part of her family history—and the paradox of being descended from both Jewish people and German Nazis. Mayer speaks candidly about intergenerational trauma, including a family legacy shaped by war, loss, and silence, and how these inherited narratives continue to affect how she views success, emotion, and even motherhood. As a single mother co-parenting her son with her ex-husband, Youngmi reflects on building a version of family that defies tradition. She’s blunt, funny, and brilliant as she challenges romanticized notions of family, while still admitting to the deep, inescapable bonds that tether her to her roots. This episode is a powerful meditation on biracial identity, cultural belonging, and what it means to both honor and critique the families that raised us. Host: Nabil AyersGuest: Youngmi MayerExecutive Producer: Kieron BanerjiSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this standout episode of Identified, Nabil Ayers sits down with EGOT-winning artist, activist, and cultural icon John Legend to talk about family, race, ancestry, and the stories that shape who we are. John opens up about growing up in a tightly knit Black church community in Ohio, being surrounded by music, and taking piano lessons from age four—learning gospel by ear from his grandmother and classical from a local teacher. But behind the harmony was hardship. He shares how the early loss of his grandmother led to his mother’s decade-long absence and how that trauma shaped his sense of home, responsibility, and resilience. The conversation traces his family lineage, including revelations from his appearance on Finding Your Roots—stories of enslaved ancestors, a great-grandmother who could have passed for white, and a landmark court case in Ohio that secured his family’s freedom generations ago. It’s a deeply personal look at the complexities of Black American identity. John also talks about raising four children with his wife, Chrissy Teigen, and what it means to parent a multicultural, multiracial family in the spotlight. From Thai temples to Black church traditions, he reflects on how he and Chrissy are teaching their children to embrace their mixed heritage and proudly identify as Black, Asian, and Blasian. This is an episode about legacy—musical, cultural, and personal—and what it means to know where you come from, even when some stories were almost lost.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.