Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Richard Ostler

Episodes

Mentioned books

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Sep 30, 2021 • 1h 2min

Episode 459: Brenna Hoffman, Wife and Mother, Faith Crisis, Decided to Leave the Church, Returned

My friend Brenna Hoffman (married mother of new baby boy) shares her story of not belonging and never fully feeling accepted in Latter-day Saint culture. This feeling along with a negative experience in the temple and life-long questions led Brenna to conclude that her path was to leave the Church. Brenna shares her story, and talks about support from her convert husband (in a master’s program at BYU), family and friends, feeling accepted in non-LDS congregations and her spiritual impressions to return to the Church. Brenna has been sharing her experiences on social media, in testimony meeting in her BYU Ward, and in her community and has been met with love and support. She also talks about creating safe spaces and unity in our congregations so everyone can feel like they have a place in the Church. If you are trying to find a way to stay in the Church or are looking for better tools to help others, please listen to Brenna’s story. It is powerful, vulnerable and full of insights to help us better come together. You can find Brenna on Instagram at @brennabelieves where she shares insights and spiritual thoughts on faith crises, how to support those in a faith crisis, and thoughts about church culture. Thank you for being on the podcast Brenna. You are awesome!
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Sep 27, 2021 • 1h 12min

Episode 458: Becky Edwards, Candidate for U.S. Senate.

My friend Becky Edwards joins us to talk about her run for U.S. Senate. Becky, who served 10 years in the Utah House of Representatives, talks about why she is running, past legislative successes, the importance of listening, and principles to bring us together. Becky also talks about the story of her yellow couch—now a key element of her campaign. I start the podcast with our family connection to Becky and John Edwards. During their recent missionary service in Samoa, Becky became the answer to our family prayers for our missionary son Ben who served in Samoa in 2019-2020. Thank you Becky for being on the podcast and sharing your vision for Utah. Thanks for sharing why you are running and the values you believe will help bring us together and reduce divisiveness. Please check out Becky’s campaign at www.BeckyForUtah.com or follow her on social media @BeckyForUtah
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Sep 26, 2021 • 1h 19min

Episode 457: Dylan Stegall, Gay BYU-Idaho Student, Plans to Become a Doctor

My friend Dylan Stegall (Age 23, Texan, RM for Chile Santiago East) shares his journey as gay Latter-day Saint. Dylan talks about being aware of this part about him before his mission but staying really busy/productive and kind of pushing it down. Dylan talks about his successful and enjoyable mission. Dylan talks about trying to date woman at BYU-Idaho and how he gradually came to feel that is not his path. Dylan shares starting to come out to others and then a deeply spiritual experience where Dylan has God how he felt about Dylan’s sexual orientation. That powerful experience let Dylan to come out in this Facebook post in August of 2021 https://www.facebook.com/dylan.stegall.3/posts/1199150057217305. Dylan talks about what is it like to be out at BYU-Idaho (mostly good experiences) and what BYU-Idaho is doing to including calling a chief inclusion officer (see https://byuicomm.org/byuiscroll/6-months-as-chief-inclusion-officer/). BYU-Idaho had a booth at the Rexburg Pride this past Summer (https://www.eastidahonews.com/2021/06/rexburg-pride-celebrate-unity-event-considered-huge-success-within-the-community/). Dylan has co-founded a non profit called Teton Light to help fund scholarships for LGBTQ BYU-Idaho students (check out tetonlight.org). Thank you for being on the podcast Dylan. You story bring hope and perspective for others. Respect for sharing your story and all the good work you have done to be in a good place. You are a good friend and I’m honored to have you on the podcast! ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773
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Sep 24, 2021 • 1h 8min

Episode 456: Garrett and Sallie Ferguson

My friends Garrett and Sallie Ferguson, married parents of 4 kids, join us from the Dallas area to share their story. They first shared in 2013 as part of the Voices of Hope project https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s36K2ilFsnY. They give us an update on their lives since 2013 and what they are doing to bring more understanding to LGBTQ/SSA Latter-day Saints through their co-work as managers of the Voices of Hope project. That project has recently expanded into a podcast as part of North Star (see northstarlds.org). Thank you for being on the podcast Garrett and Sallie and all the great work you are doing to bring us together and increase understanding. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773
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Sep 22, 2021 • 1h 4min

Episode 455: Jakob Schramm, Gay Latter-Day Saint

My friend Jakob Schramm (Age 23, RM from the Mexico Monterrey West Mission, Mechanical Engineering at University of Utah and Utah Valley University) shares his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. Jakob talks the journey to understand and accept this part of himself and then the thoughtful and methodical process to figure out his best path forward. Jakob talks about working through two suicidal times of his life and how he is now in a much better place thanks to the support he is receiving from others. Jakob is honest about his relationship with the LDS Church and is not yet sure how to reconcile his membership in the Church and his sexuality, though he still maintains a relationship with God. Thank you for being on the podcast Jakob. You are a good man doing your best to find your best path forward. Thanks for being you and all the good you bring into this world. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773
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Sep 19, 2021 • 1h 12min

Episode 454: Jamison Manwaring, Gay Latter-day Saint

My friend Jamison Manwaring (RM from Eastern Canada, Business Owner, Age 40) shares his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. Jamison talks about his efforts to make deals with God to not be gay during his closeted years growing up in Idaho Falls and coming out to his Mission President who listened without judgement. Jamison talks about difficult and painful years in his 20’s and early 30’s trying to find a way to find a way forward in a healthy and sustainable way as he navigated his sexuality and faith. Jamison talks about working for Goldman Sachs in New York and how the supportive culture for its LGBTQ employees to helped Jamison better accept himself and come out in a more extended way in 2013 on Facebook (www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_Thj42lMf4). Jamison is now a business owner in the Phoenix area (https://www.bizjournals.com/phoenix/news/2020/07/17/valley-exec-went-from-wall-street-to-main-street.html) Jamison talks about dating men and why he feels that is the best path forward for him. Jamison talks about his relationship with the Church and how he supports those who are members of and find joy in the Church. In short, Jamison is extending grace (and inviting us to do the same) by being supportive of everyone’s individual life paths and seeing/honoring the joy that people are finding in their individual paths. Jamison’s dear mother Sue (8 children, 27 grandchildren and 8 great grandchildren) joins us on the podcast to share advice for Latter-day Saint parents with LGBTQ children. Thank you Jamison for being on the podcast. You bring hope and healing and teach principles in a practical way to bring us together as the same human family. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773
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Sep 18, 2021 • 1h 6min

Episode 453: Ed Axley, Convert, Recently Released Bishop, Gospel Insights

My friend Ed Axley (married father of four, business owner, RM from Costa Rica) share the unique aspects of our restored doctrine that led to his baptism into the Church at age 18. Ed also shares four insightful ways to respond when people open with their life situations. Ed concludes with helping each of us see ourselves as beloved children of Heavenly Parents and to never feel shame or less of ourselves—even in our worst moments. Thank you Ed for being on the podcast. You bring hope, wonderful perspective and a love for all of Heavenly Parents children.
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Sep 16, 2021 • 1h 9min

Episode 452: Andrea Lystrup, LMFT, Active LDS, Love, Trauma, Unity

My friend Andrea Lystrup is a licensed marriage and family therapist joining us to share insights on several important topics including 1) creating Zion within our Church; 2) tools to better love each other; 3) how to balance the tension between law and love; 4) working through pain when something said at Church is hurtful; 5) how to get through trauma/pain which is interfering with your relationship with God and ability to access your spirituality; and 6) advice for LDS couples in mixed-faith marriage. Thank you Andrea for being on the podcast. I was deeply moved by your insights and expertise to help bring us together and help/heal ourselves and others. You are doing great and needed work. Your can connect with Andrea at https://www.andrealystrup.com/ and Instagram @askandreamft
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Sep 14, 2021 • 59min

Episode 451: Marcus Hayden, Gay Latter-day Saint, Leaving on a Mission

My friend Marcus Hayden, age 19 and preparing for a mission, shares his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Marcus starts with the excellent talk he gave in his BYU YSA Ward this summer based on Elder Gong’s talk “Room in the Inn” (https://abn.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2021/04/16gong?lang=eng). Marcus does a great job of taking the principles from Elder Gong’s talk and applying them in real-life situations in our congregations. Marcus then shares his story coming out at age 13 to his parents, at age 14 to his Bishop and out to a broader circle after he graduated from High School. Marcus talks about the excellent support he is receiving from his parents, community, friends and local leaders. Marcus then talks about his decision to serve a mission and why being gay is a good thing as a missionary representing the Savior to help others come unto Christ through our restored Church. Thank you Marcus for being on the podcast. You have a beautiful and unique life mission to help others. You are going to be a great missionary. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773
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Sep 12, 2021 • 1h 18min

Episode 450: Liv Mendoza Haynes, Queer Latter-day Saint

My friend Liv Mendoza Haynes, who spoke with the Relief Society General Presidency at BYU Women’s Conference, shares her story. Liv (who is a convert, RM, Lawyer, Young Woman’s President and expectant mother), shares her journey which included coming out as queer church-wide at Women’s Conference in April 2021 as part of the Relief Society goal to help everyone belong (see https://www.thechurchnews.com/leaders-and-ministry/2021-04-29/byu-womens-conference-relief-society-a-safe-place-belonging-211785 and https://www.sltrib.com/religion/2021/04/29/help-all-women-including/). Liv talks about being queer and why they label works for her, advice to other queer/LGBTQ women, advice to parents of LGBTQ children, supporting all types of marriages, better sitting with people in their pain, how to better mourn, develop compassion on not judge. Liv also explains why being queer is not a problem. She believes this is how her Heavenly Parents intended for her to be created. It is a beautiful part of her identity. The problem is the reaction of others and how we can improve and better create Zion following the invitation of the Relief Society General Presidency. Thank you Liv for being on the podcast. You and your husband Matthew are awesome. Your story is helping so many. Keep being you! ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

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