Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Richard Ostler

Episodes

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Dec 22, 2021 • 1h 6min

Episode 490: Jackson Jensen, Gay Latter-day Saint

My friend Jackson Jensen (age 22, RM from Lubbock Texas) shares his story. Jackson starts bravely sharing his story being a survivor of sexual abuse at age 8. Jackson, with a prompting from the Spirit, at age 16 told his family about his sexual abuse and how freeing and helpful it was to finally open up about this traumatic experience. Concurrent with telling his family about this sexual abuse, Jackson is privately working to understand his sexual orientation. The journey continued during his mission in Texas. Jackson shares his conclusion that being gay is not because he was sexually abused. There are two different parts of Jackson’s story. This is consistent with other stories shared in my book (Chapter 3/False Statement 3; link below) Jackson also shares what he is learning and why is come out publicly in March 2021 (see https://www.facebook.com/jackson.jensen.12/posts/3335259683242812) and his hopes for the future. You can connect with Jackson on Instagram @jacksonterral and Facebook (www.facebook.com/jackson.jensen.12) Thank you Jackson for the courage to share you story. Respect. You are a good man, doing good things with your God-given talents and doing much to make this world a better place. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
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Dec 19, 2021 • 1h 27min

Episode 489: Benée Larsen and Heidi Peterson Dutson, Suicide Prevention

n this episode, Benée and Heidi share their experience to help us better understand the resources available in Utah to help those struggling with suicide ideation. In particular, they explore resources that can help faith climates develop a culture of safety, help-seeking and hope. Research shows that talking about suicide reduces stigma and risk associated with suicide ideation. QPR Training in faith settings is a great way to help others understand their role in suicide prevention, especially how to have these crucial and needed conversations in our congregations and families. Benée and Heidi and also share practical insights for all of us to help those who are considering suicide and for those who are currently experiencing suicide ideation. If you have lost a loved one to suicide, know your not alone and hear some tips on how to cope. Please listen to this podcast. I learned so much from these two remarkable women. We need to have these conversations and be unified in our efforts to better support those who are considering suicide. Resources mentioned in this podcast can be found on the following websites: NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness ttps://www.namiut.org/) NAMI Utah’s Peer Mentor Line: 801-323-9900 Monday-Friday 9 am-4 pm Live On Utah (https://liveonutah.org/) LiveOn: Finding a mental health professional Search for treatment and services at the SAMHSA Treatment directory – https://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/ or https://findtreatment.gov/ Psychology Today – find a therapist, treatment, etc. Sort resources by zip code, race, ethnicity, mental or substance use need, and more. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us Suicide Prevention for Faith Leaders: (https://liveonutah.org/faith/) Utah Suicide Prevention Coalition: If you are interested in joining the Utah Suicide Prevention Coalition, which meets on the 2nd Monday every other month beginning January 10th from 1 pm-2:30 via Zoom. If interested, reach out to me via email to be added to our email list. (https://liveonutah.org/contact/) QPR Training (https://liveonutah.org/resources/trainings/), (https://www.namiut.org/our-programs/for-families-caregivers/qpr-suicide-prevention-training) Utah Prevention Coalition Association: www.utahprevention.org Grief Support: Caring Connections support groups
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Dec 16, 2021 • 1h 6min

Episode 488: Spencer H., RM, Paraglider Pilot, Gay Latter-day Saint

My friend Spencer H. shares his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint. Spencer talks about the difficult and dark times—especially in his early twenties—trying to date women and reconcile the complexity of his life. Spencer talks about opening up to his parents and siblings and how they walked together with him on his journey. Their guidance and encouragement helped him seek personal revelation for his path forward which led to hope, a strong relationship with God, and clarity. Spencer is in a great place emotionally and spiritually and full of hope for his future—a future that includes plans to marry a man and stay close to Heavenly Father and Christ. Spencer has great insights about using gospel principles to seek personal revelation and managing the paradoxes of being gay and a Latter-day Saint. You can also check out Spencer's blog https://soyouremormonandgay.blogspot.com/2021/01/spencers-story.html) Thank you Spencer for being on the podcast. Your story will help so many. And thanks to your wonderful family. You have a great life ahead of you! ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
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Dec 12, 2021 • 1h 10min

Episode 487: Jonathan Rogers, LGBTQ Ally

My friend Jonathan Rogers (Married father of two) joins us from his home in Georgia to share some of his story. Jonathan starts by bravely sharing working through worthiness issues in his teens which put him in a dark place feeling outside of God’s love and full of shame. Jonathan talks about the love, kindness and compassion he would give to his younger self to eliminate needless shame and self-loathing. Jonathan talks about his road to listen to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints and their often painful experiences. Jonathan talks about his love for our LGBTQ friends and what we can do to better support them. Jonathan talks about his faith-crisis and how he is navigating being an active Latter-day Saint and holding space for everyone on their respective paths. Jonathan, who is a moderator of Mormons Building Bridges, is working hard to building bridges and bring more understanding to see everyone as members of the same human family. Thank you Jonathan for being on the podcast and all your great work to bring hope and healing. You are a good man and friend.
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Dec 10, 2021 • 1h 9min

Episode 486: bj Nelson, Transgender Woman, Age 67, Married, Active LDS

My friend bj Nelson (RM, active LDS, married with 4 children and 14 grandchildren) shares her story of over fifty years of gender dysphoria. bj shares the decision to finally come out to her wife Donna in April 2017 and her time in the closet “expired”. bj talks about the role of Encircle to provide hope and healing. bj talks about the personal revelation she is receiving from her Heavenly Father and how she believes He loves all of her—and how bj would not longer choose a different road. bj talks about her supportive wife, their love story and how they are walking this road together. bj talks about a supportive ward and being welcome in Relief Society. bj has a long view (over fifty years) of being transgender and has insights, suggestions and principles to help other transgender Latter-day Saints (and their families). If you’d like to learn more about transgender Latter-day Saints, how to be more supportive, and how to value their contributions, please listen to bj’s story. bj and her story is helping us better create Zion. Thank you bj for being on the podcast and sharing your story. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
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Dec 7, 2021 • 59min

Episode 485: Dr. Susan R. Madsen, Utah State Professor, LDS Author

My friend Dr. Susan Madsen (married mother of four and two grandchildren) joins us to talk about her new book called “A Future Only God Can See For You: A Guide for Teen and Young Adult Women and Preparing to Lead” (https://www.amazon.com/Future-Only-God-Can-See/dp/1462140521). This is an important book for LDS women to see and act on their God given potential and mission to lead. Susan shares insights from her own journey as a Latter-day Saint women following her impressions ‘to not stay in the box’ on her path when led her to a doctorate degree, being a college professor, author, worldwide speaker, and the Founding Director of the Utah Women and Leadership Project (https://www.usu.edu/uwlp/). If you are a Latter-day Saint women and want to increase your hope and vision, please read this book. If you are male and want to better amplify the voices and use the gifts of women to build Zion, please read this book. It will help all of us do better. Thank you Susan for being on the podcast and your great work. You are making a difference for good in so many areas.
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Dec 3, 2021 • 1h 2min

Episode 484: Frasier Perez, Early-Release Missionary

My friend Frasier Perez, who grew up in Temecula California, shares his story of being an early release missionary from the McAllen, Texas mission. Frasier, during his first transfer, shares realizing he was experiencing something different than normal homesickness as this emotional health declined which led to thoughts of suicide. Frasier bravely opened up with those thoughts to his mission leaders, companion, and family which led to the help he needed and deserved. During his second transfer, once things didn’t improve, Frasier returned home. Frasier talks about what people in his circle did to help him feel welcome and loved and offers suggestions on what we can do to improve our culture to be more loving and accepting. Frasier has deep peace that he did all that he could do and is square with God. Frasier is now looking forward focusing on his bright future and sharing his story to give hope and more understanding. Thank you Frasier for sharing your story. It will help so many. Great job my friend ** Please check out my new book that has a chapter about supporting early-release missionaries: deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-love or amazon.com/dp/1462139566**
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Dec 1, 2021 • 1h 2min

Episode 483: Barry Donakey, Gay Latter-day Saint

My friend Barry Donakey (BYU Senior, BYU English/Spanish Studies Major) shares his story. Barry (who graduated from Timpanogos High School in 2016) talks about “when did you know,” managing expectations for a heteronormative marriage, and coming out to family and friends (great support). Barry talks about the need to improve Church culture to talk about supporting LGBTQ members and hearing their stories in church-supported settings. Barry shares his experience with the LGBTQ+ & Allies workshop series at the Utah Valley University (UVU) LDS Institute and how this can be scaled into our local areas of influence. Barry shares insights and principles from the scriptures that give him direction and hope for his future and also how he manages the frustrations he feels at times as a gay Latter-day Saint who is also fully active in the Church. Thank you Barry for being you and for your insights to help us better create Zion. You are a good man and your voice and perspective is so needed and helpful. Thank you for being on the podcast. ** Please Check Out My Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
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Nov 28, 2021 • 1h 11min

Episode 482: Jaime Clemmer, 10-Year-Old Son Sawyer’s Sudden Death

My friend Jaime Clemmer, married mother of 4, joins us via Zoom from her home in Virginia to share the story their 10-year-old son Sawyer’s sudden death that started with a seizure at school. Jaime talks about her book (at Deseret Book and Amazon) called Heartbroken, But Not Broken (www.amazon.com/Heartbroken-but-Broken-Jaime-Clemmer/dp/1462140165/ or deseretbook.com/p/heartbroken-but-not-broken) Jaime writes: “We live in a culture that seldom speaks opening about grief. In some instances, we are even embarrassed to show our sorrow. Why are we ashamed to cry? Why do we feel that sharing sadness in unacceptable? How can we effectively mourn with those who mourn if no one is willing to share their heartache?” We need to improve Latter-day Saint culture about how we handle grief and trauma. Jaimie is helping us to do this so we can better love and support each other. Please listen to this podcast—I learned so much from Jaimie. Please read and share her book. You can learn more about Jaime and Sawyer at https://www.heartbrokenbutnotbroken.com/ Thank you Jaime for being on the podcast. You are helping so many. And we are all so sorry that Sawyer is gone.
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Nov 25, 2021 • 1h 20min

Episode 481: Gretchen Evans. Lost Brother to Suicide, Lost Sister & Her Twin Children in Accident

My friend Gretchen Norman Evans (married mother of one, active LDS) shares the story losing her dear brother Jacob Norman to suicide while he attended BYU in May of 2019. She continues by sharing the story of losing her dear sister Alanna Norman Koons and her twin 18-month old daughters Ruby and June in a car crash in July of 2019. Gretchen and her family (a strong, open and very close family) are living with immense pain of the reality of losing so many family members. Gretchen shares thoughts on why someone becomes suicidal and what we can do to help them—along with insights to help family members when a someone completes suicide. Gretchen also has important and helpful ideas on how to grieve, how to allow others to grieve, and how to improve our Church culture to allow people to grieve, be real and help them heal. Gretchen bravely shares how she is feeling, what she is learning, what she is doing to be in a safe and sustainable place and how she is finding hope for the future. If you have lost of family member and are dealing with immense pain, Gretchen’s insights will help you. If you want to help others dealing with loss, Gretchen’s perspectives will help you. I felt we were on sacred ground as we recorded this podcast. Thank you Gretchen for having the courage to share your story. It honors all your family and helps us do better. You are helping so many.

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