Countdown with Keith Olbermann

EPISODE 182: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:43) Ok I'm sorry for all the scatological references; I'm just fed up. A Federalist Society judge discovered by Chump's worms sitting on a bankruptcy court has ordered that the former Assistant DA for Manhattan HAS to sit for a deposition for Jim Jordan's Dog-And-Pony-Dung-Eating show and aid Jordan's effort to wipe Trump's ass with the Constitution. Judge Mary Kay Vyskocil has the nerve to insist no one is above the law and others are playing politics. Alvin Bragg should charge her with Obstruction of Justice. It's just more evidence that we must remember the GOP - The Party of Human Skid Marks - declared war on the rest of us in 2015 and we need to stop pretending they didn't. This country must be saved from the Republicans. B-Block (17:20) IN SPORTS: Max Scherzer of the Mets ejected for a game for allegedly using unauthorized sticky substances on his hand. Problem is: they've had this rule three years, there have only been three objections, and they've all been by the same umpire: Phil Cuzzi. We may be returning to the infamous 1998 era of "UmpShow" in which the arbiters ejected everybody they could find, including once, during a game that decided which team would go to the World Series - me. (26:07) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Nancy Mace is proud she once waitressed at Waffle House. She may be headed back there after what she said about Biden. RFK Jr makes the mistake of running for president and running on the records of his father and uncles. And OH THE HUMANITY: a Matt WalshBlog speech is terrorized by "Antifa" armed with... marbles? C-Block (31:25) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: 39 years ago this month I packed up and moved to Boston to start my dream job, for which they - and I - had waited ten months. The job lasted... FIVE months. The anticipation is truly greater than the event!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

EPISODE 181: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: Just like American democracy I too am available for sale for $787,500,000. Since the SCOTUS Citizens United decision in 2010, it's been the corporations' world and we just live in it, unless they kill us. And corporations gonna corpo-RATE. Five years ago a company bought three-quarters of Dominion for 38 million. It just got a return of 1567%. "Money is accountability," said its lawyers. True - if YOU got the money. If you aren't, what you got was Tucker Carlson last night predicting a race war with impunity.  Spare me the nonsense about Fox knowing it did wrong. Dominion didn't even get a retraction, let alone an apology. "We acknowledge the court's rulings finding certain claims about Dominion to be false." That's the 21st Century equivalent of "The White Star Line acknowledges that RMS Titanic missed its estimated time of arrival at Pier 54 in New York." (10:15) IN CASE THAT ISN'T BAD ENOUGH: The Democrats are using the incapacitation of Dianne Feinstein as the excuse for not subpoenaing Clarence Thomas. Because the Democrats are adhering to the rules of Flag Football while the Republicans are all armed and if they needed a vote to subpoena Sonia Sotomayor they would push THEIR Dianne Feinstein down a flight of stairs to get it. B-Block (17:04) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: McConnell makes a fascist funny; Greene insists Chump never said anything racist about Covid, then repeats all the racist things he said. A guy tries to destroy all the Anheuser-Busch beer in a Wal-mart. And Chump's new NFTs have pissed off...Tomi Lahren and Baked Alaska? (21:23) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: An elected Florida state official says Bud Light should be trying to kiss Kid Rock's ass. Jim Jordan tried to paint Manhattan as a crime hellscape by trotting out a woman whose boyfriend was murdered...in New Jersey. And Kara Swisher has the utter gall to ask Jen Psaki why there haven't been more Republicans on her MSNBC show. "What's the problem? Four shows and no Republicans." This is one of the questions that has led American media, politics, and society, into the sinkhole it's in. C-Block (32:00) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Four puppies in the Bahamas trying to survive Parvo (33:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: It's not just Fox. Cable News corrupts completely. In fact, NEWS News corrupts completely. Let me tell you stories of what it did to Radio's Paul Harvey, and Rachel Maddow.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

EPISODE 180: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:43) SPECIAL COMMENT: Why did Fox wait until the last minute to offer to settle the Dominion defamation suit? I was once in a media lawsuit involving tens of millions and I have a guess: Fox must have known there was SOMETHING WORSE. There must've been a text or an email or something discovered late in the game, worse than Carlson saying he hated Trump passionately, and they were willing to buy their way out of it. (10:44) THE CLARENCE THOMAS SCANDAL: So Mom is living rent-free, for LIFE, in the house the billionaire Republican activist bought from Clarence Thomas? And Harlan Crow's next mistake? He gave a sit-down interview to a Dallas newspaper and a completely bald and unconvincing account of his friendship with Justice Thomas. Asked if he'd still be Thomas's friend if he wasn't on the Supreme Court, Crow answered that it was a great question and HE DIDN'T KNOW. Ask what they talk about and he mentioned... his dog Otis. (17:13) YOU ENDORSED WHO? Florida Congressman Greg Steube with a teeny weeny little Freudian slip. For the presidential nomination he has endorsed Donald J. Chump. B-Block (21:50) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: As was joked on twitter: is Ron DeSantis trying to destroy DisneyWorld because he's not tall enough to go on the rides? And George Santos is running for re-election and has already lied in the press release! (25:43) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: I got a Republican insurrectionist who calls others "pedos" asking a 15-year old boy for nude videos; I got a Republican Congressman sending a link to a Holocaust-denying website in his official congressional newsletter; I got Republican County administrators dreaming of lynching African-Americans. C-Block (32:00) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Elsa, in New York (33:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Speaking of the perversion of news that is Fox, I was there at the moment cable news went to hell in a handbasket. It was the night three of us (the others were the president of NBC News and the future president of MSNBC) found out that Princess Diana was dead.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

EPISODE 179: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:42) SPECIAL COMMENT: The Fox-Dominion Trial is delayed until Tuesday so the two sides can discuss settling out of court. DON'T SETTLE! I'm like everybody else who ever worked for Rupert Murdoch, dated Laura Ingraham, and was asked to co-host a show with Tucker Carlson! I need to see them all in the witness box, under oath, WEEPING. Seriously, America could use the catharsis of an on-the-record verdict that Fox is not and never has been a news organization but even that isn't enough to destroy it. It needs juries doubling the demanded damages in this case AND Smartmatic to literally bankrupt the place (and survive appeals, including the Supreme Court, where Fox's lawyers think they'd win. The late tea leaves aren't good. The delay and story of settlement discussions was broken by another Murdoch outlet, The Wall Street Journal, AND the promised Sunday night attack on Fox by Mark Levin against Dominion and the judge mysteriously never happened. We don't want them snatching peace from the jaws of war. (8:20) Even when Clarence Thomas discloses something, he does it dishonestly. The latest revelations of his utter disregard for the Supreme Court's disclosure regulations. And could the vague precedent Richard Nixon used to force Abe Fortas to resign from SCOTUS in 1969 rather than face possible indictment, work with Clarence? In the interim, where is the Senate Judiciary hearing? (16:25) Speaking of which: looks like the Texas judge in the appalling abortion pill ruling lied to the Senate during his confirmation process. Dick Durbin needs to get to work and get Matthew Kacsmaryk charged for perjury. B-Block (22:51) IN SPORTS: The Oakland A's may not have much of a team, but they do provide every visiting team's television crew with the entertainment that is a live Possum living in the wall of the booth. And a wonderful farewell to Spencer, the official dog of The Boston Marathon (26:49) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: They'll be using Marjorie Barney Rubble Greene in a House campaign 1800 miles away. Turns out Nikki Haley's campaign doesn't know you can't count the same donation twice. And MAGA turns on Junior Trump. Remember, Buddy, this is how the French Revolution started. C-Block (31:55) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Anastasia needs a foster near Devore, CA to save her life (32:55) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: There must be 10,000 ceremonial first pitches at baseball games all around the country every year, and 9900 of them must be bad. Here is the advice I was given 17 years ago that can save you from being one of the bad ones. Best of all, it involves CHEATING.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

EPISODE 178: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:42) SPECIAL COMMENT: Who knew? Clarence Thomas's family is apparently a living re-boot of the '60s TV Series "My Mother The Car" only it's "My Mother The Museum." That's the latest excuse from Clarence's pimp Harlan Crow, who says he only bought Clarence's mom's house to make it into a museum. Except 8-1/2 years later she still lives there - and he has yet to disclose the transaction. He could face a year in jail. And Trump actually answers questions in the Letitia James $250 Million case in New York. Meanwhile Jack Smith, reported yesterday to be on the verge of making up his Mar-a-Lago Documents indictment decisions, is now reported to be on the verge of making up his Election Overturning indictment decisions. And out of nowhere, the arms dealer we shipped to Russia for the release of Britney Griner says he's sent Trump a telegram saying Trump's life is danger in New York and he should flee to Russia and even if he's not serious HOW GODDAMNED GOOD AN IDEA IS THIS? B-Block (19:38) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Rhonda Santos MIA as Florida floods. Tommy Tuberville and others assume about the Woke Military and the leak, and Elon Musk and Tucker Carlson and others assume about the Tech Murderer. (23:00) IN SPORTS: The Tampa Bay Rays tie the record.Exorcism in the NFL as Dan Snyder sells. But College Sports brings back one of the worst people I've ever known in TV: Tony Petite. C-Block (35:15) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Cookie was found as a stray in Van Nuys, California. She was chipped. They called her 'human' - who never called back. Now Cookie may be killed. (36:15) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: It's a railway espionage and murder mystery worthy of 'Murder On The Orient Express' except it's all happening only in Thurber's mind: 'The Lady on 142.'See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

EPISODE 177: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:42) SPECIAL COMMENT: Trump stole a map. The map shows classified intelligence info. Trump took the map to Mar-a-Lago. Trump showed the map to "aides and visitors." That is the definition of the dissemination of national intelligence, and that is ESPIONAGE. That's up to 10 years in jail. If he showed it to a foreign power it's life - or worse. And the New York Times also reports  "Prosecutors have now interviewed nearly everyone who could offer insight in connection with the documents..." while The Washington Post says Special Counsel Jack Smith has opened a new line of inquiry: into possible fraud by Trump on those idiots he conned into donating to fight a rigged election he knew WASN'T rigged. If that sounds familiar to you, that's exactly what Fox "News" did and it sounds like before the trial has even started Fox is losing its battle with Dominion. There are tapes of Bartiromo and Giuliani and Sidney Powell admitting they can't prove claims they've made on Fox against Dominion and Fox hid them from Dominion AND the judge and the judge is pissed. And if it needed to get worse for Murdoch or Trump: Trump's ludicrous claim to Murdoch's minion Tucker Carlson that everybody at the courthouse cried as they arrested him is refuted by a Michael Isikoff news source, who adds a perfect metaphorical knife between the ribs of Trump's insatiable ego. B-Block (15:57) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: The Justins are back, Chuck Schumer and other Senate Dems want DOJ to see if their 1st or 14th Amendment rights were violated and if citizens of Memphis and Nashville were denied their rights to choose their representatives, Tucker Carlson goes full racist on them. Ro Khanna calls on Dianne Feinstein to resign, and the New York Post inadvertently suggests Republicans aren't Americans. (19:30) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: The drama in MAGA-land: if they have to boycott Bud Light and Anheuser-Busch, how will they get drunk cheaply? A Missouri state senator doubles down on his belief that adults should be able to marry 12-year olds. And the first question on the application to work for Gov. Sarah Huckabee is: what's YOUR favorite thing about Gov. Sarah Huckabee? C-Block (24:35) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Even for Los Angeles local TV, where if you hang on to your job for seven years you can keep it for seventy years, Jerry Dunphy was a mandarin. The first local news star and maybe the last. Shot in the parking lot of his station. Fired by one station one night, hired by another 24 hours later. And his memorable catchphrase "From the desert to the sea to all of Southern California: a good evening." It was memorable - except when Jerry Dunphy COULDN'T REMEMBER IT.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

EPISODE 176: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:42) SPECIAL COMMENT: As he sentenced the 1/6 defendant, the Federal Judge spoke clearly and on the record: "There are still people who believe the election was rigged. There are still people who support Donald Trump, though not many showed up at the court in Manhattan. We'll see what happens here at THIS COURT WHEN THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT MOVES IN A FEW MONTHS, I SUSPECT." What the...heck? Was Judge Paul L. Friedman ruminating? Surmising? Telling us things maybe he knows that we don't? His comments were a warning that we are now in a time when January 6 Trumpian violence could easily be repeated with an eye towards 2024. Whatever they meant, they are the most intriguing yet made about Special Counsel Jack Smith's investigation of Trump. Also Stephen Miller testified to Smith's Grand Jury again (even though it was daytime), and Alvin Bragg clapped back at Jim Jordan and Trump's other henchmen by suing to quash their subpoena for his records and his testimony.  And maybe best of all, Trump told a credulous Tucker Carlson that as he was being arrested and processed last week "They signed me in and I'll tell you people were crying. People that work there. Professionally work there, that have no problems putting in murderers and they see everybody. It's a tough, tough place and they were crying. They were actually crying. They said 'I'm sorry.'" Well, look, it's POSSIBLE. I mean if you or I had to listen to him in person, we'd probably burst into tears as well. B-Block (14:30) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: Justin Jones and Justin Pearson may have done more than they know: the governor moves to tighten gun background checks. Defund Clarence Thomas! The Fox-Dominion trial begins. How to use Trump to sink all GOP candidates. And the speech I once gave outdoors - and literally heard crickets. (20:32) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: The Fox contributors who think Dan Bongino should be FBI Director and the 2020 Election was rigged but Biden won anyway. The Wisconsin congressman who says his Wisconsin people think New York is too dangerous even though apparently Milwaukee is three times as dangerous as NYC. And the winner: on 3/8 Texas State Rep Bryan Slaton introduced a bill banning Drag Shows because they were "grooming events" for "the sexualization of our children." On 3/31, per a new reported complaint to the Legislature, he allegedly invited a female intern to his home and gave her alcohol even though she wasn't old enough to legally drink. OOPS. C-Block (27:04) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Sammy, dumped by his family in December, is on the kill list tomorrow (28:10) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: I basically have done no drinking since July 25, 1982, because that was the day I had as many as 40 beers in ONE DAY and still showed up on the air at radio at 5:30 the following morning and at CNN at 9:30. Do not try this at home, or anywhere else. It's called "Functional Alcoholism."See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

EPISODE 175: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:42) SPECIAL COMMENT: A week ago, frankly, none of us OUTSIDE Nashville knew whether the Tennessee’s State Government had a House, a Senate, an Assembly, a Parliament, a Duma, was inflated or stuffed. Yesterday, Justin Jones was reinstated to the Tennessee House. Tomorrow, Justin Pearson will be.  I am trying to think of exactly WHAT Republicans got out of this. The two young representatives will have been out of office for a total of four days, MAYBE five. They went from obscure state legislators to superstar magnets drawing international coverage. They provided energy and hope to the movement, support for which had inspired the racist acts of a racist legislative body, to do SOMETHING about the epidemic of gun violence in this country. The forces of right have not had a real WIN in perhaps two decades and even though this one is just symbolic, it resonates: it shows us that the whole thing is NOT impossible to fight, and that dramatic and important milestones can occur almost spontaneously, virtually immediately, breathtakingly panoramically. Plus: The Senate Judiciary Committee will actually HOLD A HEARING INTO SCOTUS CORRUPTION! Trump and Rhonda Santis are at it again. Melania apparently has a new contract. And Jim Jordan is coming to Fun City! There goes the neighborhood. B-Block (20:23) SPECIAL COMMENT: The latest mass gun slaughter was at a bank, 11 days after Ted Cruz had insisted the solution to mass gun slaughter was to put as many armed guards in schools as they have in those impregnable fortresses: banks. The solution isn't guns, it isn't mental health checks, it's money. We must financially crush the people for whom gun violence is a profit center. And I mean crush the businesses, the politicians, and if need be, the states. C-Block (40:25) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: His ratings debacle at the new CNN reminded me to tell you of the time Bill Maher and I almost had a fistfight at his after-show party, because I insisted I was "aware" of him when we overlapped in college. It turned out my barely-remembered "awareness" of him at Cornell was ALSO of a near-fistfight...in 1978!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

EPISODE 174: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:42) SPECIAL COMMENT: No Justins, No Peace. The Nashville Metro Council today votes to replace the expelled Justin Jones with...Justin Jones! But a Memphis rep says her city has been threatened with the loss of $350 Million in state revenue if it replaces the expelled Justin Pearson with...Justin Pearson. Just think about it: a week ago you had no idea who either of these men were! Thank you, Cracker Fascist-Republicans! (5:42) WE ALL KNOW what Clarence Thomas IS, we're just arguing about the price. Now we're arguing whether or not the guy who bought him is also a Nazi sympathizer because he happens to own a house full of Hitler memorabilia including paintings he painted. Did Thomas give Harlan Crow a heads-up on the Citizens United decision? Maybe worse still: Harlan Crow also gave money to Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema! (14:58) LIBERTY OR REPUBLICANS:: Texas's Governor tries to legalize political assassination, and Montana tries to solve the risk of re-electing a Democratic Senator with a new law that simply eliminates Democratic candidates. (20:50) HAPPY EASTER From The Defendant: Trump becomes what he has always deserved to be: just a punchline in my podcast. B-Block (25:25) IN SPORTS: The most dominant start to a baseball season since 1884. One problem: in 1884 the team was so dominant it caused the league to fold. More Problems with NHL Pride Night. And America's greatest political orator, Coach Gregg Popovich of the San Antonio Spurs, goes off on school gun violence (32:13) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Matt Taibbi learns you can always relay on Elon Musk, he'll always let you down. RFK Jr hires his key man: Dennis Kucinich? And what kind of baseball article is titled "Starters Who Can't Keep It Up"? C-Block (37:15) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Naitan in Tennessee (38:15) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: From Jack Kerouac to Keith Hernandez to me, writers and fans and athletes have simply created imaginary baseball leagues and played fantasy and table-top baseball. It's so prevalent that one man created a fictional Major League Baseball player named Lou Proctor and actually got him into the record books!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

EPISODE 173: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:42) SPECIAL COMMENT: President Biden needs to federalize the Tennessee National Guard in order to help re-establish democracy in that state. A GOP Super-majority employs sanctioned government bigotry, racism, and fascism to EXPEL two African-Americans who had the temerity to protest the slaughter of school children there. The cracker NRA members who did this did everything but call them "boy," describe them as "uppity," or say "what we have is failure to communicate." (9:45) SPECIAL COMMENT: The Senate must impanel a committee in hopes of forcing the resignation or arrest of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, our 21st Century version of Boss Tweed, a walking, breathing version of a "FOR SALE" sign. (24:15) SPECIAL COMMENT: Alvin Bragg has a TAPE of The Defendant and Michael Cohen talking about hush money for women. And Jim Jordan may just be stupid enough to conduct hearings on Bragg and Trump and Stormy Daniels and let the Democrats prosecute him day after day after day. Plus those Secret Service agents are testifying TODAY, per CBS News, to Special Counsel Jack Smith's Grand Jury. B-BLOCK (29:32) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: Biden strikes a devil's bargain with fascists who will never stop with what he's giving them: SOME trans athletes can be barred from high school and college sports? And Sean Spicer's TV career is over (31:40) IN SPORTS: Mastering the Masters after a double-bogey on the 1st Hole. The Pitch Clock is 8 days old. The Pitch Clock will soon be sponsored. (33:53) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Don Lemon looks really bad, Charlie Kirk and Glenn Beck are really dumb, and Travis Tritt will show those LGBTQ-friendly Bud Light people - he won't let them give him any more free beer! C-BLOCK (40:40) THINGS I PROMISED TO TELL: I met my first boss Sam Rosen and future Disney chairman Bob Iger on the SAME day. When I had to write my last college English paper about an interesting character I had just met - I didn't choose Iger.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.