The Kevin Miller Podcast

I continue to research human communication and find the vast majority of everything we communicate is subjective. We are seldom discussing facts and right, wrong, black, white issues. They may feel so to us, but if pressed we’d need to admit that what we are arguing or advocating for is not fact. The topic or issue is not unanimously proven. But it’s efficient to just cite our perspective as truth. It takes time and effort to really understand and consider all sides. So I sat down with an expert on this concept. Wendy K. Smith has a PhD in organizational behavior from Harvard and is the Dana J. Johnson Professor of Management and faculty director of the Women’s Leadership Initiative at University of Delaware. She is an expert on organizational paradoxes, exploring how leaders and individuals effectively respond to contradictory, yet interdependent demands. She spends her time continually working to better manage the paradoxes of life that we all face. Wendy is co-author of the book,"Both/And Thinking: Embracing Creative Tensions to Solve Your Toughest Problems.” This topic is of utmost importance to me as I continue to see our world in conflict and people more isolated. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Benjamin Hardy, an organizational psychologist and author, explores transforming your life by connecting with your future self. He introduces the 'end of history illusion,' explaining why we underestimate our future growth. The conversation emphasizes a growth mindset, the importance of setting future goals for present resilience, and how daily habits can be seen as investments for your future. Hardy also highlights the significance of environment and relationships in shaping your future self, offering practical tools like writing letters from your future self.

You’ve likely heard the parable of two brothers with an alcoholic dad. One brother becomes an alcoholic, blaming his father and stating, "What else could I do?” While the other brother becomes a teetotaler, blaming his father and stating, "I watched my dad, and don’t want to end up like him.” We all have things that happen in our lives, and we create a story about it, based around a perspective we think is true. We attach meaning, and we believe it. Even though we often change our perspective later. What would it be like if we questioned our perspective to begin with? A few years ago I sat down with Kindra Hall to discuss this. Kindra is a Wall Street Journal best-selling author, international speaker, and the former Chief Storytelling Officer of SUCCESS Magazine. She wrote a book titled, Choose Your Story, Change Your Life: Silence Your Inner Critic and Rewrite Your Life from the Inside Out, which was my muse for our conversation. As you’re about to hear, this isn’t some Pollyanna positivity motivation. The point is to reveal how we are not writing about facts, but perspectives, and if we accept this, we can free ourselves. Find Kindra’s book anywhere and connect with her at kindrahall.com. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode we talk a lot about running. But I want to expand it to all of you who spend a good amount of time outside in the elements. This isn’t a discussion to should on anyone, but just to share the value we’ve found in going outside, year around, braving the elements and the discomforts of our own bodies. What we gain, what we learn. So if you ride a bike, hike, swim, even walk, I think you’ll resonate with this discussion and possibly expand your joy in getting outside. My guest is Nicholas Thompson, well known as CEO of The Atlantic, an American magazine founded in 1857, which earned the top honor for magazines, General Excellence, at the National Magazine Awards in both 2022 and 2023. I’ve had multiple writers for The Atlantic on this podcast, such as Arthur Brooks and Charles Duhigg, both of whom have appeared here twice. Before joining The Atlantic, Nick was the editor-in-chief of Wired magazine and a contributor for CBS News. Nick has long been a competitive runner and in 2021, he set the American record for men 45+ in the 50K race. Nick just came out with a new book, The Running Ground: A Father, a Son, and the Simplest of Sports. In it, Nick shares his relationship with running, pushing himself, overcoming a challenging father, the death of his father, his own bout with cancer, dealing with obsessions, and why in the hiring process he looks for people’s ability to suffer for an end goal. I took the opportunity to commiserate with Nicholas on the joys of our devotion to going outside pretty much every day, to exert ourselves, and how the effort gives us a different experience of life. I think more so in today’s culture than ever where we tend to both stay inside more, and avoid any discomforts more. Again, I think those of you who do such things will find this talk confirming, and for those of you who don’t, I hope it will give more breadth to your thoughts about getting out and getting your heart rate up. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this discussion, cognitive scientist Andy Norman delves into the intertwining of beliefs and identity. He explains identity-protective cognition, where people cling to beliefs as core aspects of self. Andy likens the mind to an immune system that filters information, emphasizing the importance of mental immunity against disinformation. He advocates for comfort with uncertainty and the value of nuance in complex issues. Listeners are encouraged to treat identities flexibly and seek shared values to overcome polarization.

Surveys show there are more people in therapy than ever. On one hand I feel there is more benefit in talking with someone than not. And on the other hand I’m concerned whether all the therapy is paying off. Statistically, mental health continues on a decline. So when I heard about SFBT therapy, I intrigued myself. SFBT is Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, defined as a goal-oriented, short-term approach that focuses on identifying a client's strengths and resources to find solutions to their problems, rather than dwelling on the problems themselves. My guest today is one of the foremost experts on Solution-Focused Brief Therapy. Elliott Connie is a respected author, top psychotherapist, and thought leader in Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT), takes a fresh approach. He has a book, Change Your Questions, Change Your Future: Overcome Challenges and Create a New Vision for Your Life Using the Principles of Solution-Focused Brief Therapy. In his book, Elliott challenges readers to rethink their questions and the thinking behind them, and I resonate with the concepts very much. The idea is using powerful, forward-focused questions that are designed to help you shift your mindset and create meaningful change. The highlights for me were the realization of how much more powerful it is when we think for ourselves and ask questions, rather than be told something. When we are told something by someone else, we can often push back against it. When we consider and come up with an answer to a question ourselves, we listen. We also got deep into the power of knowing and living in accordance with our core values. But not the “big picture core values,” as Elliott points out. We tend to think of beliefs and morality, but where he finds it most powerful is in the day to day values that actually support who we are and want to be. Elliott’s book, Change Your Questions, Change Your Future, is available now, and you can connect with him and SFBT at elliottconnie.com Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In 2022 I was deep into therapy regarding my marriage and myself. My counselor at the time recommended a book, “​​I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression,” by a therapist named Terry Real. I read the book and opened up a whole new level of understanding about myself. Terry then released a book titled US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, which my therapist also recommended. Shortly after I was contacted by an agency about having Terry on this podcast. He was being touted as actress Gwyneth Paltrow’s favorite relational therapist and was being praised by actor Bradley Cooper, psychotherapist Esther Perel, and the forward to the book is a candid, vulnerable story from Bruce Springsteen where he shares, “At age thirty two I hit an emotional wall and realized I was lost in a deep dark forest, largely of my own making, without a map. So began forty years of trying to find my way through the shadowed trees, down to the river of a sustaining life. Terry Real has been a guide and this book is a map through those trees.” For me the book revealed much about how I perceived a separateness in my relationships that was not helping create connection and intimacy. In Us, Terry showcases how we culturally live as “you and me” when the bedrock of our being is us. I agree. Find Terry at terryreal.com. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If I asked you why we communicate with others, what would your reply be? I think my mind initially went to sharing information. But as you will soon hear, my guest cites that only 15-18% of our daily communications are about mere information. What is the primary reason we communicate then? We communicate to connect with others. My interest then is considering how much of my communication actually results in true connection. I have a world expert with me. Charles Duhigg. Charles is a Pulitzer prize-winning journalist and the author of The Power of Habit, which spent over three years on bestseller lists is my favorite book on habits. In February of 2024 I had him here on the show for the first time to talk about his then new book, Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection. The book has already sold over a million copies and I brought him back on to talk further about my own evolution in connecting, and to celebrate the release of the paperback version of Supercommunicators. Charles also writes for The New Yorker magazine and previously wrote for The New York Times and is a graduate of Yale University and Harvard Business School. You can connect with him at charlesduhigg.com. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I find it rare for anyone to make a big deviation from their normal routine. We work hard to get ourselves to a place where we are managing our lives with stability. We get routines and schedules that feel comfortable, safe, and efficient. I’m growing to appreciate seasons of this lifestyle. And yet, I find a danger of getting into a rut that is hard to break out of, and our minds can get lazy. Breaking out in small, incremental steps may work for some people. But I’m a fan of some hard resets. As I record this intro for the podcast I’m nearing the end of a 72 hour fast. The reason, even though I greatly appreciate the mental clarity and acuity I experience, the reason was mainly to give my body a chance to fully recover and reset itself from the constant barrage of food. In a similar concept, my guest today invites you on a 12 hour walk. In 2018, Colin O’Brady became the first person in history to complete a solo, unsupported, fully human-powered crossing of Antarctica’s landmass. Dragging a 375-pound sled for 54 days across 932 miles of ice. Colin holds 11 world records as a renowned explorer. As this podcast goes live on November 21, 2025, Colin is back in Antarctica on a quest called FURTHER that started on Nov. 5th. Further is a 1,780 mile, 110 day solo, unsupported, and fully human-powered crossing of Antarctica. From ocean to ocean, the route spans not only the continent itself but also nearly 1,000 miles of frozen sea — the ice shelves that flank Antarctica’s edge. I sat down with Colin a few years ago after he had been homebound by COVID, and then up and told his wife he was going for a walk. And right then and from his home, he walked for 12 hours. What resulted was a reset of his mind. Of his motivation. Of his perspective on life. He impacted himself so much that he wrote a book about it, The 12-Hour Walk: Invest One Day, Conquer Your Mind, and Unlock Your Best Life. We talk about our inclination to go from kids, youth, and even young adults with big dreams and ideas, and relegate ourselves to the mundane. But I’m not out to promote you, just do it, go bigger, and do more. I’m not even that interested in talking about how we are all capable of more. I interest myself with how we can be different. Maybe better, but different. And maybe that different is actually…going smaller. Doing less. The idea is more about doing something to shake us out of our mold and get a reset. And from this, consider new possibilities for ourselves and our lives and our overall life experience. Connect with Colin and even watch a live, interactive map of his current expedition, at colinobrady.com. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are plenty of rags to riches stories, that while I honor greatly, don’t specifically stand out to me. But this one…this one did. Andre Norman wasn’t just in prison. And maximum security prison at that. He ran the prison. He was king of the inmates and ran gang activities from within the prison walls. He was granted immunity from most all the rules and regulations by the guards. Then on his way to yet another of 10+ attempted murders, he got a wake up call and realized he was king. King of…nothing. Thus began his journey to educate himself, work out of a 100+ year prison sentence, and become an acclaimed motivational speaker on hope. That is a dramatic life transformation to me. An incredible identity shift. And I wanted to understand the dynamics of his experience. Most of my guests are authors, but I seldom read the books completely. Andre’s book, Ambassador Of Hope: Turning Poverty And Prison Into A Purpose Driven Life, I read cover to cover. His childhood story…I just broke my heart with. He went from prison king to Harvard. Literally. But even amongst the success he pursued, he still struggled. I dig into his story and he brought me to a discussion on the salvation he cites of accountability. And our propensity as humans to get involved in a pursuit out of a strong why, but then lose it to the what of what we are doing. And get lost, or as he did, come back to the why. I think you’ll find this discussion convicting and sobering, as I did. Find Andre at andrenorman.com Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices