The Science of Success

In this episode we look at why your definition of success might be hurting you - and how you can redefine it in a much healthier way, examine the power of intellectual humility, talk about what it means to provide value and how to do it, we go deep into the power of listening, why its so important, and discuss 3 strategies you can use to become a better listener, we explore the concept of brilliance as well as how you can unlock your own brilliance in 30 seconds, and much more with Simon T. Bailey.     Simon T. Bailey is the CEO of Simon T. Bailey International an education company that specializes in creating learning and development content for individuals and organizations. Simon is a hall of fame keynote speaker and is one of the top 10 most booked corporate speakers on Leadership, Change, and Customer Experience and will be the emcee at the upcoming SUCCESS Live Event in September!    Why your definition of success might be hurting you - and how you can redefine it in a much healthier way.  Why success is about others and not just yourself Intellectual humility and why it’s so important  Questions to put yourself on the path towards true success: What would I do if I knew that I couldn't fail? What would I do if no one paid me to do it? What makes me come alive? Don't ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive - the world needs people who come alive How to create an “exit strategy” to test your ideas and pursue your dreams Can (and should) you quit your job and play videos games all day? We are now in a recommendation economy - people will tell other people if you are excellent What it means to provide value to the world and how you can do it: Going above and beyond, exceeding expectations, doing more than people expect of you Listen and discover ways to exceed expectations Meta Listening and why you should often slow down in order to speed up The 3 levels of listening & Why listening shows the person that they matter Why it’s not good to “need to be the smartest person in the room” People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care How to practice intellectual humility Release the need to be right Understand the power of diversity of opinion & perspective Find someone who is willing to say no and challenge your ideas How to step outside your comfort zone and seek disconfirming opinions Simon’s strategy for reaching 1 billion people around the globe Brilliance - what it is, why its important - and what Harvard research says about it  Within the next decade millions of knowledge worker jobs will be eliminated due to automation How you can unlock your own brilliance in 30 seconds The concept of emotional congruence Language is the software of the mind - your words carry energy and create worlds How to rehearse the future in the present "15-7-30-90" You decide your habits, and your habits decide your future Answer the question “W Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode we ask what really produces success by looking at what separates truly successful people from the rest, we examine many common and conflicting “success maxims” and look at what the data actually says really works, we dig deep into the vital importance of knowing yourself and your own strengths, look at the power of aligning your work with your environment, and discuss the dangers of constantly overcommitting your time with Eric Barker.     Eric Barker is the creator of the blog “Barking Up The Wrong Tree” - with over 290,000 subscribers.  His work is syndicated by Time Magazine, Business Insider and he has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, The New York Times and more. Just recently, his new book Barking up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong was named a Wall Street Journal Bestseller.    The future is already here, it's just not evenly distributed How Eric took a myth-busters approach to success maxims and figured out what really works Vital importance of knowing yourself and your strengths Why you need to align with a context and environment that rewards your skills What really produces success? What separates the very successful from the rest of us? We take a lot of the common maxims we hear that conflict about success and look at what the DATA actually says about them What are intensifiers and why should you know about them? When are negatives positives? How can you know when it’s important? Context really reveals when and how these maxims work or not Do nice guys really finish last? What does the science say? Why, in some contexts, being a jerk can pay off (and when it can backfire) Strategies to improve self knowledge and know yourself more deeply Pursuing your passion doesn't always lead to happiness, but pursuing what you’re good at more frequently does lead to happiness Research is clear - focus on what you’re good at - and find a way to compensate for your weaknesses.  Understanding your strengths allows you to plan the right way to go about achieving your big picture goals Deluding yourself is often worst situation of all and you frequently end up working against yourself Do quitters never win? Should we quit or persevere? How do we think about Grit? The vital importance of opportunity cost - we only have so much time in the day - we have to focus in on the biggest things Strategically quitting is not the opposite of grit, but enables you to focus in on the most important things People consistently over-commit their time and don’t understand how little time they have Find a balance - look at what’s producing results - show grit with those things - things that aren’t producing results Why you should absolutely dedicate 5-10% of your time to what Peter Simms calls “little bets” The key litmus test on whether or not you should apply GRIT or QUIT What research reveals (Richard Wiseman in the UK) on how you can improve your luck! How do we “walk the tightrope” between confidence and delusion? How often should we “believe in ourselves”? Confidence as a whole is a problematic paradigm, confidence follows success, it doesn’t lead to success - it has NO effect on outcomes, only impact on trying to build confidence is that it increases narcissism  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode we discuss why people struggle to reach outside their comfort zones – and why it’s so critically important that you do, we explore the 5 core psychological road blocks stopping people from stepping outside their comfort zones, we go deep on how you can become tougher, more resilient, and embrace discomfort, how you can master the art of small talk, what you need to do to cultivate the skill of “global dexterity” and much more with Dr. Andy Molinksy.     Dr. Andy Molinsky is a professor of Organizational Behavior and Psychology at Brandeis University. Andy is the author of Reach: A New Strategy to Help You Step Outside Your Comfort Zone, Rise to the Challenge and Build Confidence, as well as Global Dexterity: How to Adapt Your Behavior across Cultures without Losing Yourself in the Process. He has been featured in Inc., Psychology Today, The Harvard Business Review, and was named one of LinkedIn’s Top Voices for 2016.     We discuss:    Lessons from interviews with students, teachers, police officers, rabbis, priests, entrepreneurs, goat farmers - and the common lessons of WHY people struggle to step outside their comfort zones Why do people struggle to reach outside their comfort zones? The vital importance of stepping outside your comfort zone The 5 core psychological road blocks / challenges that make it hard to step outside our comfort zones Authenticity/Identity/Self image Likability Competence Resentment Morality Imposter Syndrome and how it can trap you in your comfort zone Our “amazing capacity” to avoid discomfort and seek relief What happens when people avoid uncomfortable situations How we can often create imperfect substitutions for situations we want to avoid How our minds rationalize excuses so that we can avoid uncomfortable things “Fear is about predicting the future” and we are often poor predictors of our own futures Specific tactics and strategies you can use to step outside of your comfort zone How conviction can help you step outside your comfort zone and push you Customizing and tweaking situations to make them slightly more bearable can help you take that first step The danger of “catastrophizing” and always assuming the worst case scenario The power of clarity and getting clear on the truth about what you want, and what the worst case scenarios are How we can build resilience and make the pursuit of discomfort stick The power of a learning orientation and growth mindset to give you the ability to step outside your comfort zone Stepping outside your comfort zone starts in your mind The power of desensitizing yourself to things outside your comfort zone, and what happens when you continue to have experiences outside your comfort zone How to deliver bad news to people, fire someone, and have tough conversations The dysfunctional conversations that might arise if you don’t know the right way to deliver bad news The vital importance of mastering the art of small talk & strategies for mastering small talk Why every meaningful relationship you’ve ever had (other than family) started with small talk Focus first on building camaraderie and rapport, then trust Listening, making connection, asking questions in an open ended way Developing global dexterity and learning to act outside of your cultural comfort zone Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dr. Robert Cialdini, the Godfather of Influence, discusses leveraging palm reader tricks, the power of presentation, the impact of context in persuasion, the effectiveness of asking for advice, and how small differences make a huge impact on human behavior.

In this episode we discuss what to do if you don’t know what you want to be when you grow up, we look at the concept that you only have one true calling, we learn how to become a better big picture thinkers, we look at the superpowers you can develop by being a “multi-potential-ite,” how to master rapid learning and cultivate beginners mind, the fallacy behind the phrase “jack of all trades,” and much more with Emilie Wapnick.     Emilie is a speaker, career coach, founder of the popular blog Puttylike, and author of the book How To Be Everything: A Guide for those who still don't know what they want to be when they grow up. Her TED talk has been 3.7 million times and translated into over 36 languages. Her work has been featured in Fast Company, Forbes, Lifehacker, and more. How Emilie’s diverse interests and passions lead her down the path of creating a community of people who wanted to do more than just focus on one thing in their lives What does it mean to be “puttylike” Who are Multi-potential-ites and what makes them so interesting and powerful? Do you have a destiny, one true calling? How the industrial revolution shaped our language and understanding of “what you do” being who you are (and why that’s wrong) The idea that there is one specific thing you should master is a socially reinforced illusion & narrative Do you have to focus on one thing to be able to be successful? The assumption that you can either be a master of one thing or a jack of all trades is fundamentally flawed There are nonlinear and multi-connected and multi-faceted domains of knowledge that multi-potential-ites thrive in The diminishing returns and 80/20 principle behind mastering knowledge in different domains The Superpowers of Multipotentialites Idea Synthesis Rapid Learning (and passion) Adaptability Big Picture Thinking Relating and translating How to cultivate the ability to be a better big picture thinker Pattern recognition underpins many of these super-powers How to master rapid learning and cultivate beginners mind The power of exploring other fields and domains and how that can bring back new knowledge to the field you’re an expert in The 4 common approaches that multi-potentialites use to succeed financially in today’s world The “group hug” approach - combining all your interests into one thing The “slash” approach - creating separate and distinct revenue streams that you focus on fractionally The “Einstein” approach - find a job that supports your true passion The “Phoenix” approach - diving deep into a field, then pivoting out into something completely else What you do for money isn’t necessarily more valuable than the other things you do in your life Failure Celebration Week and taking the stigma away from failure If you had 10 lives what would you want to be in each of them? How to cultivate the variety you need in your life and career The importance of getting everything out of your head and onto paper And much more!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode we discuss emotional agility and how you can cultivate it, discover that beneath your difficult emotions are the signposts to the things you value most, learn how to make space for emotions and embrace a willingness to experience difficult emotions, talk about why its vital to understand the distinction that emotions are meaningful but not always correct, how you can “piggyback” your habits to create very powerful strategies to live more aligned with your values and more with Dr. Susan David.     Dr. Susan David is an award winning Psychologist at Harvard Medical School, co-founder of the Institute of Coaching at McLean Hospital, and CEO of Evidence Based Psychology. She is the author of the #1 Wall Street Journal bestseller Emotional Agility and has had her work featured in several publications including the New York Times, the Washington Post, and TIME magazine. Susan’s work and research have led to her consulting and working with several top organizations including the United Nations, and the World Economic Forum, and much more!    How Susan’s experience growing up in apartheid South Africa led her down the path of studying emotional resilience and agility The tyranny of positivity and how it can actually harm us How focusing too much on your happiness can make you less happy over time How surpassing your emotions increases depression and anxiety and decreases your chance at achieving your goals Beneath your difficult emotions are signposts to the things we value most Research psychology reveals the power of the “amplification effect” when we push our thoughts and emotions aside Emotional contagion and how the behavior of others - even people you’ve never met and who are far removed from your life, can have a huge impact on your behavior and your life If someone in your social network - even if you don’t know them - puts on weight or gets divorced, you are more likely to do those things! Between stimulus and response, there is a space, in that space is our opportunity for agency What happens when you bottle and brood on your emotions Who’s in charge, the thinker or the thought? Who’s in charge, the emotion or the person feeling them? This story, or you the person who can experience many stories? What is emotional agility? How can we cultivate it? How to make space for emotions and embrace a willingness to experience difficult emotions Our emotions are not good are bad, they just “are” Strategies for developing self compassion Imagine yourself as a child approaching yourself as an adult - how would you treat that 3-4 year old who has failed, been rejected, struggled, etc? Emotions are meaningful, but not RIGHT (emotions are DATA not direction) Its critical to cultivate space between stimulus and response Emotions are important but they aren’t necessarily correct - tap into the wisdom they offer us, but don’t necessarily go in the direction they want us to go in The vital importance of cultivating an “observer” view of our emotions to help us step out from our emotional reactions and create space between stimulus and response  Why you should use language like “I am noticing that I am feeling X” and “I am noticing the emotion of fear” Accurately labeling your emotions, digging in beyond just the surface, taps into and helps deal with negative emotions - the field of emotional diff Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode we discuss how our perception of reality dramatically shifts what actions we take, why you should embrace 2000+ years of wisdom to be happier and more productive, how to stop judging yourself and others based on your achievements and root your identity in something within your control, we look at how we can cultivate a more humble and resilient world view, discuss strategies for connecting with top tier mentors, and much more with Ryan Holiday.      Ryan Holiday is a media strategist and writer. He is the bestselling author of over five books including The Obstacle is the Way, Ego is The Enemy, and most recently his upcoming book Perennial Seller: The Art of Making and Marketing Work That Lasts. Ryan previously worked as the director of marketing for American Apparel, working on several controversial campaigns,  before starting his own creative agency. His work has been featured in The Huffington Post, Fast Company, Forbes, and more!    Why you should understand the Stoic discipline of "perception" The way in which we see the world changes how we interact with it How to accept situations as they are, not as you want them to be Why you shouldn't waste time figuring out how things happened, who is to blame, etc - you should shift your focus to constructively determining the next thing to do “There’s no problem so bad (in space) that you can’t make it worse” The challenge of perception is not making the situations in your life worse with interpretations, resentments, anxieties  The story of Amelia Earhart and how you can use it to take action in the face of challenges When you’re offended, when you think something is beneath you, you are projecting onto that situation something that may not be there How do you react when people don’t think you have what it takes? How to make yourself the most important person in a room, not by posturing, but by what you can contribute How we can flip obstacles on their heads and view setbacks as opportunities “What stands in the way becomes the way” We have the ability with our minds to change how anything means  Setbacks make some people worse, some people tough it out, other people get even better What is “Stoic Optimism” and why stoicism is not a focus on the negative The distinction between Being and Doing and why its so critical Should you do the “right thing” even if it pisses people off, hurts your chances of being promoted, causes political infighting, and worse? Many people make the choice unknowingly between being and doing - and end up one day wondering where it all went wrong How do we untangle success from our identities? How do we avoid the trap of judging people based on their achievements? Focus on basing your identity on an internals scorecard that is within your control Decide what’s important to you, and root it within the things you control How do we anchor our identity and self worth on a more stable footing? The critical difference between stoicism vs pessimism and how to look at both sides of the coin and realizing there are no good or bad outcomes - just outcomes Everything is relative and subjective - someone in the third world would kill to live the life you may think of as failure Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode we discuss the dangers of “playing it safe” in life, how we can learn to celebrate more, the power of cheering on, showing up, and serving other people, how to balance the acceptance of negative emotions with amplifying the good and focusing on the positive, what it means to live life in the “front row,” lessons learned about living life from people fighting for their lives, and much more with our guest Jon Vroman.     Jon is the co-founder of The Front Row Foundation, a charity that creates unforgettable moments for individuals who are braving life-threatening illnesses. Jon teaches others to “Live Life In The Front Row” through teaching and inspiring others with the Art of Moment Making. He is also an award winning speaker, podcast host, and the bestselling author of his new book The Front Row Factor: Transform Your Life with The Art of Moment Making.     We discuss: How John went from being bullied and feeling insignificant, to stepping up and living his life in the front rowHow would you rate your contribution to the world on a 1-10 scale?The dangers of “playing it safe” in lifeWhat does it mean to live life in the front row?The anticipation principle and how to bring the power of the future into the present momentHow we can learn to celebrate - bring light and attention to something, even if its something smallCelebration is appreciation and gratitudeHow do you recognize or create a front row moment every day in life?“What can I celebrate right now?If you can’t celebrate yourself, ask “How can I celebrate somebody else?”Being in the front row is also about service, stepping up for people, and not always being the center of attentionThe power of cheering on, showing up, and serving other people and why there is so much meaning, love, and joy in doing thatWhat does it mean to be a moment maker?Recognizing the beauty and joy within a moment and noticing it, take a moment, breathe in, look around, feel it and appreciate it - recognizing what’s already there and not chasing what could beWhy you should ask “How can I make this special?”How you can create special moments in the simplest spaces within life, turning something normal into something spectacular Why we should amplify the good so that we silence what’s notThe importance of accepting negative emotions and living the full range of emotions in life, the importance of being cold so you can appreciate the warmthThe 90% Rule - where do you want to “live” 90% of the timeHow to re-align with what you value and live a life of making moments and celebrationThe three things you need to live life in the front rowHow to balance questions of acceptance/discomfrot/negative emotions with amplifying the good and focusing on the positive - focus on what state you end up at when you have the balance between those two things"Proximity is power” - what thoughts, questions, and relationships are you close to that are shaping your life?Questions drives our lives - what questions are we trying to answer?What questions are running your mind? What different questions could be running your mind?Everything we've learned about living life from people fighting for their lives Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode we discuss the inevitable technology shifts that will be impacting our future, the second industrial revolution, the importance of having an open mind, critical thinking and seeking disconfirming evidence, we explore how to ask better questions (and why it’s so important that you do), and talk about some of the biggest technology risks with Kevin Kelly.     Kevin Kelly is the Senior Maverick and Co-Founder of Wired Magazine. Kevin is also the co-founder of The All Species Foundation, which seeks to catalogue and identify every living species on earth as well as The Rosetta Project, building an archive of ALL documented human language and much much more. He is a New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestselling author of several books including The Inevitable: Understanding the 12 Technological Forces That Will Shape Our Future, his work has been featured in Forbes, Smithsonian, and more!     We discuss:    The 12 inevitable forces that are shaping the future of humanity and our livesHow the physics of the “technological” terrain make tectonic technological shifts INEVITABLE and what you can do about itWhy cars, telephones, light bulbs, and the internet were also “inevitable"Evolution keeps trying to make “minds” - is AI the next attempt?How we are “cognifying" the world around us and what that meansHow we will fill the world with a zoo of possible minds that think differentlyAI will become a commodity like electricity - it will be a utility that anyone can get or useWhat can I do with 1000 minds (like 1000 horsepower) working on a problemThe second industrial revolution and how it will impact our entire societyHow our lack of understanding of intelligence currently hinders our ability to truly understand what makes intelligenceYou can’t optimize every dimension - there will always be trade-offsHow much of today’s technology is akin to “flapping wings” versus artificial flight using fixed wingsThe chief asset for innovation and wealth generation in this new economy is being able to THINK differentlyHow do we focus our attention in a world with such infinite possibilities of things to do and focus on?How do we battle against fake news, alternative facts, and the temptation to only filter information we want to hear?In the future - we may have to teach the “literacy” of filtering and understanding information as Kevin calls it “techno literacy”or “critical thinking”The vital importance of being open to having your mind changed - and how travel can be a tool to do thatWhy asking great questions will be one of the most valuable skillsets and assets in the futureHow we can start to ask better questions right nowThere are no dumb questions - never be afraid to ask if you don’t understand  - and then really listen for the answerWhy we should use lateral thinking to approach a question or challenge from a completely different angle - how we ask a question that has never been asked beforeHow you can believe you are a martian and ask questions as if you were a machine and you didn’t know all the things humans normally knowDon’t be afraid of obvious questionsThe technology trend that Kevin Kelly is most afraid of and thinks is the biggest risk to humanity Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode we discuss the “experience trap” and why someone who has been doing their job for 20-30 years may be no better (and sometimes worse) than someone who has very little experience, look at the shocking truth that 35 years of research reveals separates world class performers from everyone else, how “Talent” is overrated, misunderstood, and most research says it doesn’t even exist, we go deep on the critically important concept of deliberate practice, and much more with our guest Geoff Colvin.       Geoff Colvin is an award winning speaker, writer, and broadcaster. Geoff holds a degree in economics from Harvard, an MBA from NYU, and is currently the the senior editor-at-large for FORTUNE. He is the bestselling author of several books including Talent Is Overrated: What Really Separates World Class Performers from Everyone Else, Humans Are Underrated: What High Achievers Know That Brilliant Machines Never Will and more. Geoff has delivered over 10,000 broadcasts on the CBS Radio Network and has been featured on Good Morning America, CNN, CNBC, and more.    The “experience trap” and why someone who has been doing their job for 20-30 years may be no better (and sometimes worse) than someone who has very little experienceWhat do surgeons, auditors, parole officers have in common with their skillsets?Why the assumption that a lot of experience makes you good at something is fundamentally flawed What the very best performers are constantly doing that most people simply don’t doWhy going to a teacher and taking lessons is NOT enough to get better at singing (or any other skill)What separates world class performers from everyone elseWhy the concept of talent is a loaded term that most people don’t understandWhy the conception of “talent” as an in-born gift is a mischaracterizationHow “Talent” is overrated, misunderstood, and why most research says “talent" simply does not existWhat 35 years of research and science answer exactly what explains great performance better than anything elseWhat is the concept of "deliberate practice" and why is it so vital to great performance?The road to great performance is long and hard, but most importantly its available to anyoneWhy deliberate practice is not what you typically think of when you think of practiceThe key components of deliberate practice. Deliberate practice is an activity designed especially for you, at your stage of development, at doing what you’re doing right now It is designed to push you just beyond what you’re currently capable of doing Can be repeated at high volume The vital importance of continual feedback Why high-volume deliberate practice changes the physical structure of your brainAs you get better, your deliberate practice must be adjusted higherWhy deliberate practice is neither work nor playThe vital importance of training and practicing just outside your realm of abilityHow to harness deliberate practice for business & investingSimulationSoftware that lets you make these decisions at high volumeCreate simulators that put these decisions to the test at high volumeThese simulations have to be highly realistic and very demanding Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.