The Science of Success

In this episode we discuss how you create your own reality. We explore the idea that your life experiences are not random or arbitrary, but rather a direct result of your subconscious beliefs. When the conscious and the subconscious conflict, the sub-conscious wins and you’ll never get over your past until you realize how you use it to justify yourself. We dig into the powerful revelation that life only ever changes in the paradigm of action. You must do something differently than what you’ve done before in order to change. All of this and much more with our guest Gary John Bishop. Gary John Bishop is a personal development expert and is the author of the bestselling book Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life and the soon to be released Stop Doing That Sh*t: End Self-Sabotage and Demand Your Life Back. His approach blends a unique in-your-face approach with high-level training and development practices. Hailing from Glasgow, Scotland Gary’s work has been featured in The New York Times, NPR, Vice, Business Insider, and much more!You’re responsible for the creation of your life. You have to accept it, embrace it, be aware of it, and know it. In the living of your life - you will have to live the decisions and conclusions that you’ve made, whether you’re conscious of it or not As a human being, its incumbent upon you to go beyond yourself, expand your awareness, and live life being fully Just because you’re aware of a problematic belief or behavior -doesn’t mean you will stop doing it Why do people attend tons of personal development seminars, read books etc but then never actually change?Your life experiences are not random or arbitrary, they are defined by an invisible set of rules that you believe to be true - but the reality you experience may not be the same reality that other people experience - the same rules that others experience. You currently existing in a “Default” way of living your life - but there are infinite alternatives to being alive and living your life Freedom for a human being is defined as the actions you take, in relation to your default mode of being You have to actually take action, you have to actually DO something with it. Reading a book is nice, but if you don’t do anything with it, what’s the difference in having read it or not?Life ONLY EVER CHANGES in the PARADIGM OF ACTION. You must DO SOMETHING DIFFERENTLY than what YOU’VE DONE BEFORE. You don’t have to feel differently to do differently, you just have to DO differently.Some of the greatest breakthroughs of science and engineering where discovered by accident.You have to go into the unknown and work your way through it to achieve anythingIf you’ve had success, you try to preserve and maintain certainty, you lose the very strategy that made you successful (plunging into uncertainty) If you’re not as hardcore as Gary John Bishop - how do you start taking action? Start with small actions - and small steps to build momentum and credibility with yourselfIs your life about revealing the future you want or perpetuating the past? Whatever you don’t forgive lives on with you. That includes forgiving yourself and forgiving others. Withholding forgiveness perpetuates what happens, and you end up being left with the resentment. You’ll never get over your past until you realize how you use it to justify yourself.Homework: Look around in your life, look at something you’ve been tolerating, putting off, ignoring or pretending about - pick one item you’ve been tolerating and go handle it TODAY. Take that item, step into action, and go handle it TODAY, regardless of how you feel about it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode we discuss the the male and female brains. Are they different? If so, what are the differences and do they matter? We look at the science behind all of this and unlock key insights into how you can improve your health, happiness, and relationships with by using a few simple strategies with our guest Dr. Louann Brizendine.Dr. Louann Brizendine is the Founder of The Women's Mood and Hormone Clinic and a neuropsychiatrist at UCSF. She is the author of the New York Times best-selling books, "The Female Brain" and "The Male Brain"  and executive producer of the 2017 movie, The Female Brain. She has served as faculty at both Harvard and UCSF and her work has been featured in The Harvard Business Review, The Guardian, and much more!How do we use science of a decision-making framework?Should we stop using science to shape our decisions because it gets things wrong?Why do scientists and experts often hedge their bets when citing evidence and research?Can we believe Science? Is science useful or not?Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater - science and give us really actionable and useful information starting today The process and the progress of science is constantly questioning and constantly testing your assumptions - this is how you move towards the best answers and objective truthThe male and female brain are more alike than they are different, but they do have differences Starting as early as eight weeks of fetal life, the male’s tiny testicles start to pump out testosterone that shape substantial changes in the male’s brain vs the female’s brainThe biology is straightforward - males and females have different brainsThe major differences in the male and female brain have to do with reproduction Puberty impacts males and females differently, and shapes their brains and behaviors in a number of ways From age 11 to age 15 - a man's testosterone levels spike by 25x How much of our gender roles are a result of culture, parenting, and biology?“Relationship play” vs “rough and tumble play” for young boys and girls Is the debate on nature vs nurture dead?These behavioral patterns and traits are like a standard distribution that mostly overlap, but do have differences Does this research about the human brain reinforce gender stereotypes and biases?What is ‘daddy brain’ and how does it affect men?Testosterone decreases by 30% for about 6 monthsThis triggers the male brain to be more protective and more nurturing You can hear infants cry from much further awayVideo games impact the male brain by tapping into your search for mastery and flowHow do we shape or change our behavior as a result of our different brains?Other people are different from you - they think differently! Why offering people advice or solutions instead of validating their feelings can often be the wrong strategy If you’re missing the emotional component when to try to influence people, you’re missing a key piece Homework: For men - say “Honey, I know how you feel” and then pause Homework: For women - Men’s testosterone levels are 10x more than yours, that means your partner is (if you’re the same age) 3x more sexually interested than you are  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Have you ever desperately wanted something, and then as soon as you get it, or as soon as you achieve it, you seemingly toss it aside and move on to the next new thing? In this episode we explore the powerful brain science behind why this happens. We look at dopamine, how it shapes your behavior, why it causes you to desire certain things and motivates you to achieve new things, but also why it can be dangerous if it becomes too imbalanced. We share strategies for enhancing and harmonizing with your brains “dopamine circuitry” and much more in this interview with Dr. Daniel Z. Lieberman. Dr. Daniel Z. Lieberman is a professor at George Washington University. He has published over 50 scientific reports on behavioral science and provided insight on psychiatric issues for the U.S. Government. He is also co-author of the best-selling book Molecule of More, which discusses the effect dopamine has on the human desire and the human brainThe simple concept of “up versus down” and how it cascades through the way we all live and interact in the world The “paripersonal” space - everything within arms reach - things that you own, possess, and control. When you look “down” into the paripersonal space - you experience these things in “the here and now"When you look “up” you look into the “extra personal space” - beyond yourself - things beyond the here and now that require effort, planning, and motivation to get, acquire, or achieveThe idea of dopamine as the “reward molecule” is WRONGDopamine is not the molecule of reward, but rather the molecule of DESIRE and MOTIVATION People who are dopaminergic might have addictive personalities - excessively eating, gaming, watching porn, etc. A brain on dopamine is like a high performance sports car - it can produce spectacular results, but it breaks down easily What is a dopaminergic brain? A brain with a highly active dopamine system. How does dopamine impact our love circuitry and our experience of love?All dopamine derived pleasures DON'T LAST - as soon as what we desire in the future becomes what we have in the present, dopamine shuts down - and achieving it becomes a let downIf you’re spending most of your time in the dopamine circuitry - you’re ALWAYS focused on WHATS NEXTUnderstanding the brain is the most important thing we can do Highly dopaminergic people like ideas, concepts, and tools - not emotionsEmotional intelligence is the perfect counterbalance to being highly dopaminergicA more advanced strategy to spend more time in the here and now would be mindfulness meditationMeditation is all about clearing your thoughts of future clutter and focusing like a laser on the here and now. Meditation strengthens the circuitry in the brain responsible for processing the here and now. When those circuits are strong it becomes easier to shift into them.Homework: If you are dopaminergic - spend more time focused on the fine arts - fine arts are a great way to see the synthesis between dopamine circuitry and the here and now circuitry.Bonus Homework: Take up a hobby that involves the creation of something. Painting, cooking, playing an instrument, woodworking. These hobbies have fallen out of favor in our modern world. If you want to get the most out of your brain - you have to appreciate its structure, which has been built up for millions of years of evolution. Find ways to do things with your hands. Tinkering, making things. When you’re engaged in a sport or physical activity you’re also harmonizing the here and now (moving your body) + using dopamine to develop strategies to score points and defeat your opponents. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode we discuss trauma and how it is stored in the body. What causes trauma and what does it do to your body? We explore whether the rational, thinking mind can deal with trauma and look at some of the ways you can deal with traumatic experiences in your life. What are the best strategies for feeling safe, feeling calm, and feeling in control of your own body? How do you release trauma from your body and feel safe? We discuss all of this and much more with our guest Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk.Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk is a Boston-based psychiatrist and The New York Times best-selling author of The Body Keeps the Score. He was previously the President of the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies, Professor of Psychiatry at Boston University Medical School, and Medical Director of the Trauma Center. He has taught at universities around the world and his work has been featured in TIME, The New York Times, The Boston Globe, and more!What is Trauma? How do we define and understand trauma in today’s society?It makes you want to forget, it makes you want to push it away, it makes you want to erase it. Trauma is something that is so horrendous that you can’t cope with it, it’s too much to deal with Trauma renders you helpless and makes you feel like there is no way out Helplessness is an absolute precondition for a traumatic experience Our society continuously ignores how trauma is formed and created - pushing it under the rug and hiding from itTrauma is not a story - trauma is not a memory about the past. Trauma changes the brain. Trauma sits within you and within your body. People experiencing trauma keep behaving and reacting as if they were stuck in that experience When we are traumatized - the brain often cannot process it and the body “stores it” - the body gets stuck in a state of hyper alertness, the mind gets stuck in a state of hyper-alertness The perceptual situation in the brain becomes rewired to be on “high alert"Your body, your mind, your entire system gets frozen or stuck in “fight or flight” mode When you’re traumatized, it’s very hard to learn or integrate new experiences - thats what makes treating trauma  so difficult Trauma is not typically rationally processed, it goes into the irrational part of the brain and your body gets locked into a place of constantly reacting as if you’re in a sense of danger One of the most tragic results of trauma is people try to shut the feeling down and end up shutting down their ability to feel - or they turn to drugs, alcohol, and pharmaceuticals Studies show that yoga is more effective than any drug that has been studied for solving trauma There is promising research around psychotropics (psylocbin and MDMA) for trauma reliefNeurofeedback is another promising solution for trauma Self regulation - learning to control your own physiology using ancient Chinese and Indian methods - research is starting to show these solutions help as mind body interventions to solve trauma in the body Exposure treatment misunderstands how to treat real trauma It’s not the memory its that your brain/body - entire system - is locked in a state of being “high alert” - and that these mind body interventions are some of the best ways to help people feel “Safe” inside their own bodies Once your body feels safe, you can allow yourself to slowly go to experiences from the past that caused the body to be put into a traumatic state Homework: Take care of your body. Develop a loving relationship to taking care of your body. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode we discuss emotions at work. Do they have a place? What can you do about them? We look at why you should be less passionate about your job, we explore the science behind actually being motivated at work and prevent yourself from being burnt out, and we share a powerfully simple emotion management checklist you can start using right now with our guests Molly West Duffy and Liz Fosslien. Liz Fosslien and Molly West Duffy are the co-authors of No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotion at Work. Liz has run workshops for leaders at organizations such as Google, Facebook, Nike, and Stanford on how to create inclusive cultures. Her writing has appeared in CNN, The Economist, The Financial Times, and NPR. Molly is an Organizational Designer at global innovation firm IDEO. Her writing has been featured in Fast Company, Quartz, Stanford Social Innovation Review, Entrepreneur, Quiet Rev, and other digital outlets, and she’s taught design courses at Stanford.Why you should be LESS passionate about your jobCaring too much about your job can actually be bad for your healthHow do we “take a chill pill” and distance ourselves from our work?The Power of Rest and Recovery and the diminishing returns of over workingCarve out time to think, carve out time to be alone, make time for friends and family What do people get wrong about motivating and inspiring themselves?Your emotions can create and sustain your motivationsWhat are the things that kill motivation?How to take back control of your work and deal with a tough or micro managing boss The “progress principle” - small incremental progress of small wins can snowball How do you build motivation at work? (And stop the things that kill your motivation) It’s biologically impossible to stop feeling emotion. You cannot make decisions without emotion. Is it possible that envy can be a productive emotion? Can envy help you make better decisionsCan anger and anxiety be productive tools to helping you achieve your goals?We walk through a great emotional management checklist that you can start to use right away to improve your decision making Discover your decision-making tendency - satisfiers and maximizers - what are the differences and why is that important?Run your thinking by another person - verbalizing them out loud forces you to synthesize information and identify biases in your thinking How do you create psychological safety? One easy strategy is to positively reinforce someone taking one of these risks. Use “generative language” to keep ideas flowing and open The concept of “task conflict” - we like each other, but we clash with each other over the CONTENT of our work Write your own “User Manual” or “How To Work With Me Guide” to give to your boss, coworkers, etc Your feelings aren’t factsWe often react and interact with each other based on assumptions that we never both to explore or look into at all The words we say are not always what we mean The 3 things to do if you have an issue with someoneLabel your feelingsUnderstand where those feelings are coming fromFeel calm enough to have a conversation about your emotions without getting emotional An in person request is more than thirty times more likely to be a yes than an emailed one What are some best practices for digital communication?Homework: Sit down and write down everything you’re feeling to develop your emotional granularity and self awareness. Take the time to reflect and think about what you’re feeling. Then identify the NEED behind those feelings. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode we share how to “get over yourself” and stop taking things so seriously, we discuss the important relationship between confusion and clarity, and we explore the art of letting go of the need for safety, security and control in your everyday life so that you can relax into who you’ve always been with our guest Dr. Mark Epstein. Dr. Mark Epstein is a psychiatrist in private practice in New York City and the author of a number of books about the interface of Buddhism and psychotherapy, including his most recent books The Trauma of Everyday Life and Advice Not Given: A Guide to Getting Over Yourself. He is currently Clinical Assistant Professor in the Postdoctoral Program in Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis at New York University and his work has been featured in Psychology Today, The New York TImes, and more!How do we move from addiction/anxiety/depression/worry to love/relief/understanding?What’s the prescription for solving anxiety and worry?The prescriptions from the ancient texts of buddhism are still highly relevant in solving many of today’s problems with the human condition Realizing that the mind is trainable is the beginning of your journey towards relief and understanding The untrained mind is a wild thing - one of the challenges of adulthood is to get a handle on your own mindHow do we start to be honest with ourselves and confront our own mental addictions and negative thoughts?Anything that promotes self reflection is the way to begin confronting your thoughtsYou don’t have to overcome your fears - you just have to be willing to examine them The hardest thing is often just being willing to take the first step You can’t force someone into meditation - someone has to reach a critical point of personal suffering and to make their own decisionHow his father’s battle with brain cancer transformed Dr. Epstein’s relationship with helping othersHow do you handle your own mind when facing death or dying?“The craft of meditation” - the practice and technique of what to do and how to meditate - is only one part of the puzzle The “art of meditation” - beyond just the physical technique - is a rich field of exploration Ancient buddhist texts offer some deep insights into modern psychotherapy - but the language of ancient Buddhism is couched in the understanding of thousands of years ago and needs some interpretationWhy people “expect too much from meditation” and what that means In the west especially - we want the science to “do it for us” - but we have to do it ourselves There’s an important relationship between confusion and clarity The clarity that one seeks only comes from sitting and staring at your confusion The fundamental power of meditation and mindfulness comes from really staring and facing the difficult Creating a "therapeutic split in the ego"It’s possible to be both the observer and that which is being observed in your own stream of consciousness The ego - as we think about it in western society is all about self preservation and self control - it’s looking for safety, security, and control We can’t jump right into enlightenment - it's about the JOURNEY and the everyday work, practice, and moments of honest reckoning with ourselves  How to create humility and graciousness in your life Homework: Read a book, or go to an art museum. Go outside, close the door, stand there and listen. Trust yourself.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this interview we discuss how to create an “external brain” that lets you keep track of your tasks, projects, ideas and inspirations - while freeing your conscious mind for the most productive and focused thinking - we explore how you can connect the external world of meetings and events with your internal world of ideas and thoughts in a uniquely powerful way, and we demonstrate how you can save up to 144 hours a year using a few simple techniques with our guest Charles Byrd. Charles Byrd is a productivity and organizational expert and the founder of Byrd Word. He’s known as the world’s foremost Evernote guru.  As a productivity expert, Charles coaches CEOs and entrepreneurs how to "Kill the Chaos" of information overload.  Evernote is a “trusted system” you can apply to your life, profession, business etc. Creating an “external brain” to keep track of your tasks, projects, ideas, inspirationThe powerful merger of collecting things from your internal worlds and external world and connecting them Your “5 second superpower” - find whatever you want or need in 5 seconds or less Do you use Evernote for one “specific thing” instead of everything? How you can find key information you need in high pressure and difficult situations How you can cut down on task switching How you can be more focused and creative by taking processing load out of your conscious mind How to tag things in Evernote for instant and easy recallWho, What, Where Why How to hack Siri shortcuts to amp the power of Evernote to the next levelThe “Power Trifecta” - a combination of tools, work flows, and habits to create the most optimized routines possible Simple tactics you can use to start adding things to Evernote right away “Do I need it, do I dig it?"How to begin with Evernote if you’ve always wanted to, but aren’t sure where to startHow you can save 3 hours a week using Evernote - that’s 144 hours a year - 18 working days of reclaimed timeCreate a Siri shortcut for master list and marketing idea notesHow you can feel like a rock star who can do anything How to hack meetings to be more productive Click the “Task” Checkbox on any action items you have within a meeting or conversationWrite a 1-2 sentence summary of the meeting and any key action items Evernote is the “cornerstone” of productive sanity Evernote is the foundation of being productive in the modern day Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode we discuss how to boost your energy, focus, and happiness in 5 minutes or less using a dead simple strategy anyone can apply right away. We explore the power of self knowledge and why it’s one of the cornerstones of success in any area of life, and we uncover several powerfully uncomfortable questions we can ask ourselves to be happier, healthier and more productive with our guest Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen Rubin is the author of the New York Times bestsellers, Better Than Before, The Happiness Project, Happier at Home, and The Four Tendencies and her latest book is Outer Order Inner Calm. She’s appeared on TV outlets such as the Today show, Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday Morning, and more. She’s also appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Washington Post, and many more!I finally cleaned out my fridge and now I know I can switch careers.When we get control of the stuff of our lives we often see big results.American adults spend 55 minutes a day looking for misplaced items. Focusing on order can yield huge benefits VERY QUICKLY with simple focus. The “one-minute rule” - if you can do it in less than a minute, do it without delay.How to keep the scum of clutter on the surface of life go away.It’s much easier to keep up than to catch up.Figure out WHAT YOU NEED to do your best work and then GET IT - create the environment in which you can thrive.There isn’t ONE BEST WAY to set up your environment to thrive. Self knowledge is the most powerful and fundamental kind of knowledge you can create. One of the great challenges of our lives is really trying to grapple with - what is the truth about ME?Ask yourself uncomfortable questions. Whom do you envy?It’s a very revealing thing. It shows you that they have something that you wish for yourself.Whose job or life gives you a TON of envy? There’s information there about what you want to do. Most useful things involve discomfort - especially when it comes to self knowledge. When trying to decide - should I ask this of myself or not? Choose the BIGGER LIFE - what to YOU will create a BIGGER life? Sometimes it’s worth the insecurity and frustration and anxiety if you’re pursuing what - to you- represents a bigger life. Is it worth the time? The bandwidth? All reality is one interconnected mess.That’s why it’s so important to have a multi-disciplinary perspective.There’s a HUGE difference between “I’m right” and “This is what’s true for me."In a fight over dirty dishes at the office - that’s the tip of a giant iceberg of psychology that shapes hundreds of complex and nuanced interactions. There are so many ways to achieve your goals, experiment and try different methods.Homework: How do you decide what to get rid of? Do you need it, do you use it, do you love it? Don’t get organized, get rid of things first. Homework: The one minute rule - anything you can do in under a minute, do it without delay. It’s not so much WHAT should you do, but rather how can you get yourself to STICK to what you want to do? Experimentation is crucial. Homework: Ask yourself - how have you succeeded in the past? Ask yourself what you learned from that and model that behavior.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode we discuss why it’s so important to study and understand psychology if you want to master any aspect of life. We look at evolutionary science behind how your brain can often play tricks on you. We share a simple and impactful model from psychology for dealing with stressful and tough situations, and we discuss the dangerous illusion of the “quest for certainty” and how you should actively embrace taking risks in your life with our guest Dr. Daniel Crosby. Dr. Daniel Crosby is a psychologist and behavioral finance expert who helps organizations understand the intersection of mind and markets. His most recent book, The Behavioral Investor, provides an expert look at the useful mix of psychology and investment science. His work has appeared in the Huffington Post and Risk Management Magazine, as well as his monthly columns for WealthManagement.com and Investment News.In order to understand how the financial and capital markets work - we have to understand human behavior.Since almost everything we do is largely a function of interacting with humans - in order to understand life, business, the world - we have to understand human behavior and the human mindEvidence based growth is a powerful niche - because the leadership and personal development space is full of voodoo, bad thinking, and wrong common sense The evidence based approach is harder but ultimately much more fulfilling and impactfulThings that have served us well from an evolutionary perspective often serve us poorly in the modern world and the financial markets The human brain hasn’t been upgraded in over 200,000 years. Your 200,000 year old brain is trying to cope with systems that are tens if not hundreds of years old - this leads to a number of problems and issues. We are wired to act - we feel a burning need to take action and do something - and yet often times the best investment strategy is to do nothing The best performing investors are people who either died or forgot about their trading account! “Success begets failure.” As you win, you become more convinced of your skill, and you start to make worse and worse decisions,  becoming sloppy and undisciplined You must be a rules based, systematic investor when it comes to decision-making. There is a very real, physical side, of dealing with stressful and difficult situationsBefore you do any interventions to prevent anxiety - you can get a HUGE amount of mileage out of taking basic care of your body - sleeping better, drinking less caffeine, getting in some moderate exercise.We are more than what happens to us - at any time we can change our RESPONSE to any stimulus.There is NO substitute for TAKING RISK, DOING HARD THINGS and SINKING AND SWIMMING ON YOUR OWN MERITS. In our best efforts to protect ourselves from harm we bring about the very thing we are trying to avoid. You aren’t really protecting yourself - you’re bringing about the absolute realization of what you’re really scared of. The quest for certainty is very dangerous. There is uncertainty. It’s part of the game. The alternative of embracing uncertainty is to always settle for the lowest common denominator.The “backfire effect” - often times when presented with data and evidence that disagrees with people’s world view, people often become MORE committed to their idea or belief than they were before. Meet people who don’t share your beliefs and try to understand why they hold the beliefs that they do. Homework: Go somewhere that makes you uncomfortable.Homework: Seek first to get your own house in order. Take a hard look at yourself. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode we ask - how do you make decisions that let you see beyond your every day inbox, busy work, and demands of others? We uncover that there are huge mismatches between how you think you spend your time and how you actually spend it. We share you can deal with the fear, and the reality, of disappointing other people and not meeting their expectations and we share one simple strategy - in 30 minutes - that can help you reclaim control of your time with our guest Laura Vanderkam.  Laura Vanderkam is the author of several time management and productivity books. Her TED talk titled “How To Gain Control of Your Free Time” has been viewed over 5 million times and she is the co-host of the podcast Best of Both Worlds. Her work has appeared in publications including the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Fast Company, and Fortune.While people are happy to get information, they remember it much better when its in the form of storiesYou should make time in your life for what’s important. Time is a choice, you’re ALWAYS choosing how you spend your time. You HAVE to choose how to spend your time, whether you want to or notWhat people often miss, especially when you try to be everything to everyone,  there are tradeoffs and opportunity costs to EVERYTHING - even if you don’t see it Saying yes to something is, by definition, saying no to something else. Every choice to do one thing is is, by definition, a choice to NOT do something else. Have you ever binged an entire book or TV series in a short amount of time? That’s proof that you have more time than you think, you’re just not spending it how you necessarily want to. How do you make decisions that let you see beyond your every day inbox, busy work, and demands of others?Envision your ideal future, and start to bring those things into your life. Your priorities should inform your scheduling choices. It’s that simple. And yet so few people do it. You must consciously choose to invest time in the things that matter to you. If you don’t your time will be TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU, by someone else’s priorities. It’s not a priority just because someone else thinks is it important or because society at large thinks it’s important. This doesn’t have to be huge chunks of time, even an hour or two a week can be transformational.Challenge yourself to find 30 mins a day, or 3.5hrs a week - of extra time per week. Anyone can achieve this. This can apply to both your PERSONAL life and to your professional life - too often we neglect one or the other or think time management only Is the bigger challenge to figure out your own priorities or just to make time for them?What questions or activities can you do to figure out what’s most important to you and where you SHOULD spend your time?How do you deal with the fear, and the reality, of disappointing other people and not meeting their expectations?What were you thinking about on today’s date, two years ago?Likewise, whatever is keeping you up now probably won’t matter in two yearsTrying to manage your time without measuring it is like losing weight without paying attention to your diet and exercise habits. There are HUGE mismatches between how you THINK you spend your time, and how you actually spend it. By doing a time audit you start to realize huge opportunities in your schedule and where you are spending your time.Often times the small chunks of time here and there start to add up - and don’t register on how you’re spending your time. Homework: Time tracking is the best starting point. Write down what you’ve done over the previous 24 hours. Try that out for a week.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.