Dates & Mates with Damona Hoffman

Esther Lee, Deputy Editor of The Knot, breaks down the stats released in the website’s Relationship & Intimacy Study, and spills the tea on where singles are finding love, what they’re actually looking for, how they’re spending their time on dates, and those dating dealbreakers we just can’t shake. And, this week’s Dear Damona question is: Is a bra an appropriate gift for a young couple?Ready to break free of your dating loops? Get Damona’s signature online program, The Dating Accelerator at 10% off (for limited time only) using the code PODCAST10: DamonaHoffman.com/programLAST CALL - Just 1 spot remains for the VIP one-on-one coaching program this year. Serious applicants should book an assessment call ASAP with our head of coaching programs: DamonaHoffman.com/introcallSubmit your questions for Dear Damona on any of the socials @DamonaHoffman or by visiting DamonaHoffman.comTimestampsIntroduction to the Episode (00:00:00)Damona's Welcome (00:00:13)Introducing Esther Lee (00:01:04)Damona's Personal Wedding Experience (00:02:11)Evolution of Wedding Planning (00:02:49)The Knot's 2024 Study Overview (00:03:46)Key Findings of the Study (00:05:01)Dating Apps vs. Real-Life Connections (00:05:54)Generational Perspectives on Dating (00:06:41)Changing Standards in Attraction (00:07:56)Being Easy to Talk To (00:09:14)Fostering Connection and Communication (00:09:47)Listening as a Key Element (00:11:40)The Chemistry Myth (00:12:10)Importance of Sexual Attraction (00:12:59)Married Couples and Sexual Chemistry (00:14:00)Comfort and Chemistry in Relationships (00:15:54)Commitment After Marriage (00:16:51)Importance of Attraction (00:18:05)Subjective Sense of Humor (00:19:29)Humor as Relationship Tool (00:21:01)Video Game Dates (00:21:48)Meeting Through Gaming (00:24:00)Creative and Affordable Dates (00:26:06)Deal Breakers in Relationships (00:29:59)Chemistry vs. Values (00:31:00)Long Distance Relationships (00:32:48)Communication in Long-Distance Relationships (00:33:14)Intentionality in Relationships (00:34:05)Finding Love Beyond Geography (00:35:36)Unpopular Opinion on First Dates (00:37:17)Navigating Intimate Gift Missteps (00:39:20) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Benjamin Camras, The Flirt Coach & host of the Flirtations Flirtcast, joins Damona for our annual Halloween Dating Horror Stories Special. You’ll laugh, you’ll scream, and you’ll get useful advice to survive your next bad date. Stories include: Blindsided by a Blind Date The Vegetarian Variation The Creepy Car Concert The Deskside Date The Freudian Movie Man Ready to break free of your dating loops? Get Damona’s signature online program, The Dating Accelerator at 10% off (for limited time only) using the code PODCAST10: DamonaHoffman.com/programOnly 1 spot remains for the VIP one-on-one coaching program this year. Serious applicants should book an assessment call ASAP with our head of coaching programs: DamonaHoffman.com/introcallSubmit your questions for Dear Damona on any of the socials @DamonaHoffman or by visiting DamonaHoffman.comTIMESTAMPSIntroduction to Halloween Horror Stories (00:00:00)Listener Engagement (00:00:07)Benjamin the Flirt Coach Introduction (00:02:18)Costume Reveal (00:02:30)Personal Dating Horror Stories (00:04:10)Listener Story from Amanda (00:07:07)Discussion on Movie Dates (00:11:40)Activity Date Preferences (00:12:40)Candy Smuggling at the Movies (00:14:31)Vegetarian Red Flag Story (00:15:47)Flirty Late Night Snack Decisions (00:16:31)Libras and Perspective (00:17:09)Boundaries and Alcohol-Induced Choices (00:19:20)Dating an Older Guy (00:20:01)Red Flags in Dating (00:21:11)Avoiding Generalizations in Dating (00:22:13)First Date Conversations (00:24:49)Exploring Physical Intimacy (00:26:11)Flirtation as Foreplay (00:27:28)Listener Horror Story Introduction (00:28:44)Zoom Date Disaster (00:30:24)Multitasking on Dates (00:31:57)Check-in Date Tips (00:33:04)Pre-Date Communication (00:33:50)Slow Dating Trend (00:34:13)In-App Calling Features (00:37:13)Age and Dating Preferences (00:38:28)Horror Story Introduction (00:39:55)Uncomfortable Date Behavior (00:41:32)Lying About Height (00:43:01)Closing Remarks (00:46:18) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Erika Wasserman, Your Financial Therapist, is shifting the narrative around money and using those sometimes-tough conversations to build deeper trust and better communication with your partner and tackling the tricky financial situations singles often find themselves in while dating. Our Dear Damona question this week is: I have social anxiety. Do I need to focus on making more friends before pursuing a romantic relationship?Ready to break free of your dating loops? Get Damona’s signature online program, The Dating Accelerator at 10% off (for limited time only) using the code PODCAST10: DamonaHoffman.com/programOnly 2 spots remain for the VIP one-on-one coaching program this year. Serious applicants should book an assessment call ASAP with our head of coaching programs: DamonaHoffman.com/introcallSubmit your questions on any of the socials @DamonaHoffman or by visiting DamonaHoffman.comTIMESTAMPSIntroduction to Relationship Stress (00:00:00)Host's Opening Remarks (00:00:14)Introduction of Erika Wasserman (00:02:26)Erika's Journey to Financial Therapy (00:03:19)Dating and Financial Transparency (00:04:08)Challenges of Financial Conversations (00:09:15)Gamifying Financial Discussions (00:10:01)Reality of Debt in Dating (00:12:04)Understanding Debt and Relationships (00:14:46)Understanding Debt and Readiness to Date (00:15:46)Differentiating Rich and Wealthy (00:17:32)Wealth Beyond Money (00:19:51)Influence of Family Background on Money Beliefs (00:21:20)Communication About Money (00:22:40)Fear of Financial Loss in Relationships (00:23:25)Pricing Themselves Out of the Dating Pool (00:24:12)Contributions in Relationships (00:25:35)Navigating Different Financial Backgrounds (00:28:00)Frugality vs. Spending Comfort (00:32:01)Coupon Encounter (00:33:03)Financial Conversations (00:34:06)Creating Financial Intimacy (00:35:38)Side-by-Side Conversations (00:36:27)Vulnerability in Conversations (00:37:08)Joyful Spending (00:38:38)Unpopular Opinions (00:39:50)Divorce Edition Cards (00:40:24)Impact of Financial Relationships (00:40:55)Listener Question on Social Anxiety (00:42:00)Building Connections (00:44:38)Taking Baby Steps (00:47:39)Engaging with the Audience (00:48:42) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Take a sneak peak into a private coaching session with our listener, Michelle, as Damona identifies the dating loops and myths that are keeping this Dates & Mates Method graduate from finding the relationship she desires. Listen in as Michelle comes to a realization about the men she’s been dating and why it hasn’t worked out. And help yourself along the way as Damona shares quick tips and takeaways that you can apply right away to your own dating dilemmas.Ready to break free of your dating loops? Get Damona’s signature online program, The Dating Accelerator at 10% off (for limited time only) using the code PODCAST10: DamonaHoffman.com/programOnly 2 spots remain for the VIP one-on-one coaching program this year. Serious applicants should book an assessment call: DamonaHoffman.com/introcallSubmit your questions on any of the socials @DamonaHoffman or by visiting DamonaHoffman.comTIMESTAMPSIntroduction to the Episode (00:00:00)Coaching Insights (00:00:59)Michelle's Experience (00:02:47)Appreciation for Coaching (00:04:41)Transformational Skills (00:05:50)Dating While Pregnant (00:06:05)Desire for Partnership (00:06:53)Impact of Solo Parenting on Dating (00:08:47)Understanding High Standards (00:10:15)Trusting Oneself (00:11:00)Freeing Yourself from Pressure (00:11:32)Encouragement to Freeze Eggs (00:12:11)Embracing Options in Dating (00:14:39)Current Dating Life (00:15:26)Effective Screening Process (00:16:15)Invitation to Continue Conversation (00:17:13)The Importance of Boundaries (00:18:11)Mindset for Successful Conversations (00:18:27)Challenges with Dating Separated Individuals (00:19:14)Physical Attraction and Curiosity (00:20:23)Recognizing Anxiety in Dating (00:21:20)Discovering Availability Issues (00:21:40)Misleading Profiles and Aliases (00:23:32)Learning to Say No (00:24:38)Exploring the Other Camp (00:25:07)Signs of Attraction and Availability (00:26:05)Disappointment in Dating Dynamics (00:27:17)The Complexity of Attraction (00:28:19)Nurturing vs. Romantic Dynamics (00:31:01)Finding the Right Words (00:32:08)Navigating Emotional Intensity (00:33:57)Testing Attraction in Early Dates (00:35:12)Belief and Self-Responsibility (00:37:02)Inheriting Stories (00:37:50)Rewriting Personal Narratives (00:39:14)Mindset Shifts and Mantras (00:41:10)Attraction Dynamics (00:43:10)Navigating Dating While Parenting (00:46:07)Reflection on Progress (00:48:21)Encouragement and Support (00:51:07)Coaching Transformation Invitation (00:52:14) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Meghan Keane, the founder of NPR’s Life Kit, shares her new book, “Party of One: Be Your Own Best Partner”. Listen in as she peels back the layers of our complicated feelings about being single and dissects the ways that singlism could be dealt with in your own life. It’s time to embrace your single life or the singles in your life so that we can all thrive together regardless of our relationship status. Our Dear Damona question this week is: I recently reconnected with a casual long term friend. How do I figure out if he likes me without making a fool of myself?Fun little announcement, my meditation program is now back on the Dates & Mates website. If you want to meditate and visualize your way out of stressing about your singlehood. Let me help you. Look for my meditation collection on the homepage of DamonaHoffman.com today!Submit your questions on any of the socials @DamonaHoffman or by visiting her website DamonaHoffman.comTIMESTAMPSIntroduction to Singlehood (00:00:00)Embracing Singlehood (00:01:03)Interview with Meghan Kane (00:02:54)Navigating Societal Expectations (00:03:18).Understanding Singleism (00:06:24)Confronting Single Shame (00:09:30)Transforming Thoughts: From Why to What (00:10:41)The Power of Storytelling (00:14:50)Intimidation in Dating (00:16:54)The Complexity of Strong Women (00:17:01)Reframing Intimidation (00:18:00)Questioning Marriage (00:19:00)Voyeurism in Dating (00:20:00)Building Intentional Friendships (00:21:54)Diversity in Friendships (00:22:36)Making the First Move (00:23:15)Finding Friends with Shared Values (00:24:56)Lowering the Stakes in Friendships (00:25:50)Digital Connections (00:27:18)Mindset Shifts After Relationships (00:30:32)Radical Acceptance in Singlehood (00:31:52)Values Work and Radical Acceptance (00:33:01)Life Values Inventory (00:34:04)Building Goals Around Values (00:34:50)Changing Scripts in Dating (00:36:35)Unexpected Partnerships (00:37:25)Maintaining Individuality in Relationships (00:38:53)Supporting Single Friends (00:39:34)Self-Work and Future Relationships (00:41:46)Unpopular Opinion on Dating (00:42:14)Understanding Dating Apps and Intentions (00:49:25)Challenging Negative Narratives (00:50:23)Creating Your Own Love Story (00:51:33)Upcoming Episode Teaser (00:52:45) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Damona dedicates this week’s episode to YOU! Whether you’re in a relationship or looking for love, she is answering your toughest Dear Damona questions, like: I feel like my partner isn’t matching my efforts. How can I get him to be more of a caretaker? I want to stay friends with my exes but I find it incredibly painful. Am I self sabotaging? I thought we had fun but they said they didn’t feel chemistry…what went wrong? An ex once said my lack of questions was a red flag, but I think it's a difference in communication styles. What do you think?  Find Damona and submit your questions on any of the socials @DamonaHoffman or by visiting her website DamonaHoffman.com/contactOnly 1 spot left for VIP coaching this fall. Is it you? Register for an intro call at DamonaHoffman.com/introcall and find out!TIMESTAMPSIntro (00:00:00)Managing expectations in relationships (00:01:28)Communicating needs in relationships (00:02:02)Are love languages real? (00:05:25)Self-sabotaging in friendships (00:06:44)Navigating chemistry and attraction (00:10:50)Flirting techniques to enhance attraction (00:12:17)The impact of date venues on chemistry (00:15:49)Communication Styles in Dating (00:18:11)Questions as Indicators of Interest (00:19:13)Nervousness and Connection (00:20:12)Red Flags Revisited (00:21:22)Interpreting Signs and Signals (00:22:26)Inclusivity in Dating Advice (00:23:35)The Importance of Follow-Up Questions (00:24:43)Engagement in Conversations (00:25:51)Listener Interaction Invitation (00:26:59) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kiaundra Jackson, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, unpacks how therapy language is influencing our dating lives and shares why it’s essential to move beyond labels to truly thrive in our relationships. She also shares the telltale signs of toxic relationships. Our dear Damona question this week is: I've used them all, but none seem to be a good fit. Is it me or the apps?Ready to break free of your dating loops? Get Damona’s signature online program, The Dating Accelerator for a limited-time-only for 10% off using the code PODCAST10 at DamonaHoffman.com/programSubmit your questions on any of the socials @DamonaHoffman or by visiting her website DamonaHoffman.comTIMESTAMPSIntroduction to Toxic Relationships (00:00:00)Guest Introduction (00:02:05)Rise of Dating Burnout (00:02:25)Importance of Healthy Relationships (00:03:10)Modeling Healthy Relationships (00:04:18)Personal Accountability in Relationships (00:06:10)Elements of Healthy Relationships (00:07:24)Taking Inventory of Past Relationships (00:10:10)Signs of Toxic Relationships (00:11:37)Understanding Narcissism (00:12:42)Manipulation vs. Healthy Goals (15:13)Setting Boundaries (17:20)Handling Triggered Reactions (19:28)Recognizing Relationship Dynamics (24:30)The Importance of Slow Love (28:47)Healing from Toxic Relationships (00:31:11)Unpacking Emotional Luggage (00:31:32)Rushing into New Relationships (00:31:54)The Process of Unpacking (00:32:33)Recognizing Healthy vs. Toxic Traits (00:33:18)When to Share Personal History (00:34:06)Finding the Right Time to Share (00:35:00)Ongoing Conversations About Baggage (00:37:54)Unpopular Opinion on Relationship Work (00:39:03)Perspective on Relationship Challenges (00:39:57)Invitation to Deeper Connection (00:40:17)Navigating Dating Apps (00:41:42)Understanding Dating App Experiences (00:42:11)Adjusting to Online Dating (00:43:17)Common Experience on Dating Apps (00:44:16)Finding New Dating Opportunities (00:45:21) Navigating Dating Apps (00:46:17)Understanding App Dynamics (00:47:18)Managing Expectations with Dating Apps (00:48:19)Addressing Dating Burnout (00:49:13)Upcoming Dear Damona Episode (00:50:13)Halloween Dating Horror Stories Call (00:50:13) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Take a sneak peak into a private coaching session with our listener, Staci, as Damona identifies the dating loops and myths that are keeping this single mom from experiencing the relationship she desires. Along the way, Damona shares quick tips and takeaways that you can apply right away to your own dating dilemmas.Ready to break free of your dating loops? Get Damona’s signature online program, The Dating Accelerator today for 10% off using the code PODCAST10 at DamonaHoffman.com/programsubmit your questions on any of the socials @DamonaHoffman or by visiting her website DamonaHoffman.comTIMESTAMPSIntroduction to the Coaching Session (00:00:00)Damona's Experience (00:01:00)Staci's Introduction (00:03:14)Goals for the Session (00:04:08)Staci's Dating History (00:05:10)Burnout from Dating Apps (00:06:43).Impact of the Pandemic (00:08:17)Self-Discovery in Dating (00:09:13).Shifting Perspectives (00:10:21)Dating App Dynamics (00:11:35)Choosing vs. Being Chosen (00:13:56)Dating After 50 (00:15:25)Challenges in Conversations (00:17:10)Understanding the Texting Trap (00:18:08)Developing a Texting Strategy (00:18:46)Breaking Free from Canned Responses (00:20:01)Recognizing Exhausted Energy (00:20:57)Exploring Offline Dating (00:25:01)Finding Connection in New Experiences (00:26:14)Mindset and Clarity on Dating Goals (00:27:48)Affirmations and Attraction (00:28:35)Visualizing the Ideal Partner (00:32:31)Exploring Fitness as a Dating Venue (00:34:04)Flirting Skills (00:37:08)Flirting Formula (00:37:41)Roleplay Practice (00:39:19)Challenge Accepted (00:41:01)The Power of Touch (00:41:33)Living Vision (00:44:53)Flirting and Connection (00:45:59)Feeling Inspired (00:46:42)Closing Thoughts (00:48:31) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mayday! It’s a dating burnout crisis! Damona gives a master class about the causes, the current stats, and THE FIX for the apathy and frustration that many daters are feeling today. In this episode, you will learn: The #1 secret weapon for building connection How to reclaim your power and replenish after burnout  Top tips for avoiding burnout on dating apps Insider secrets or offline dating Protecting your peace with friends and loved ones And, how to reframe your dating burnout and turn it into fuel for romance Want to learn more? Find Damona and submit your questions on any of the socials @DamonaHoffman or by visiting her website DamonaHoffman.com/contactTIMESTAMPSIntroduction to Dating Burnout (00:00:00)Defining Burnout (00:00:57)Complexities of Modern Dating (00:02:07)Zombie Dating Explained (00:08:11)Dating Hygiene Tips (00:09:25)Addressing Apathy with Empathy (00:11:57)Forming a Connector Circle (00:13:10)Saying Yes to New Experiences (00:14:14)Creating a Comprehensive Dating Plan (00:15:28)Tracking Progress in Dating (00:17:48)Finding a Dating Accountability Buddy (00:18:50)Quieting Naysayers (00:19:53)Reframing Dating Burnout (00:21:07)What’s inside the Book "F the Fairy Tale" (00:21:07)Listener Review Highlight (00:22:05)Encouragement to Share the Episode (00:22:05) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Damona dedicates this week’s episode to YOU! Whether you’ve listened to 12 seasons or 12 episodes, she is answering your toughest Dear Damona questions, like: I’m stuck in a first date rut. How do I turn things around to find lasting love? How do I delicately tell my match that family is important, but relationships need to be a priority too? There’s a big drinking culture where I live. How do I meet singles who share my more laid back vibe? And, I’ve done the work, but I can’t seem to attract someone who’s done the same. Is it time to lower my standards? Find Damona and submit your questions on any of the socials @DamonaHoffman or by visiting her website DamonaHoffman.com/contactAnd, are YOU tired of being comfortably single? We are enrolling NOW for Damona’s signature group coaching program, The Dates & Mates Method! Sure, you’ve been fine on your own but just imagine how the RIGHT person could add to your life… If you’re ready to create a dating plan and date differently this fall, then this is the time to sign up. Don’t miss out on a limited number of spots in this annual program. Learn more at DamonaHoffman.com/method Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices