Dates & Mates with Damona Hoffman

You've been married for 29 years. You're newly separated at 52. Your inbox is suddenly full of men in their twenties and thirties. And you're sitting there wondering: what the heck is going on? A listener we call Confused in Coatesville shares: "I'm separated a year in the process of divorce after 29 years of marriage. I'm 52 and I'm told that I look a lot younger. On dating apps, I'm getting hit up by a lot of 30-somethings and even late twenties. I have very little interest in somebody under the age of 40, considering that I have a 30-year-old myself. How do I get matches in my age range that would have an interest in me?" In this episode, we unpack the real reasons younger men are reaching out, and what it actually means to date again after decades of marriage. What You'll Hear: Why younger men showing up in your inbox isn't random The difference between what you needed at 23 and what actually serves you now How "I look younger than my age" might be working against your dating goals Why an age gap hits different at 50 than it does at 25 The power of being strategic about which apps you use (and tracking your results) Setting boundaries with matches who aren't aligned with you…without guilt Ready to figure out what's actually working in your dating life? Download the free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker to start tracking where your best matches come from and what patterns are showing up for you. Got a question about dating after divorce, age gaps, or navigating the apps? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How can you have 50+ matches and still no dates? Every conversation either fizzles out or someone reschedules and disappears. And worst of all, you keep seeing the same faces on every app year after year. A listener named S shares: "I end up with 50-plus matches like within 48 hours, which okay, great. But then I either get too overwhelmed by so many conversations and endless swiping and all the same people, or I narrow it down and end up with just dead conversations. And there's guys having fantastic phone calls, scheduling dates, then asking for a raincheck without suggesting a date. What is going on?" In this episode, we talk about the real problem behind dating app burnout we will cover why the algorithm is working against you in the first two weeks, and explain how to protect your energy from people who are keeping you on the hook with no real plan. What You'll Hear In This Episode: Is the paradox of choice really what's holding you back from dates? The dirty little secret about how dating apps  What happens when you treat matches like coins in a fountain instead of fish on a line Why "interest" and "intention" are not the same thing How the one-to-one rule helps you identify who's actually serious When to end conversations with people who are keeping you on the hook Ready to get better dates (not just more matches)? Grab the Profile Starter Kit at profilestarterkit.com to learn how to write a dating profile that attracts the right people. It's $9, and the fastest way to stop wasting time on dead conversations. Got a question about dating apps, burnout, or mixed signals? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever notice how the holidays have a way of forcing conversations you've been avoiding? When someone you're dating wants to introduce their whole life to yoursbut you've been keeping parts of that life hidden,it's not just awkward timing. It's a moment of truth. A listener named Kayla shares: "I've been dating this guy for 10 months and things are getting serious. He has a five-year-old son from a previous relationship, and I've met him a few times. But I haven't told my parents he has a kid yet. I know I should have mentioned it earlier, but it felt too soon, and now it feels too late. My family's having their big holiday dinner, and he wants to bring his son. Do I tell them before he comes, or should I ask him to come next year instead?" In this episode, Damona unpacks what's really happening beneath the surface: it's not your parents' reaction you're most afraid of,it's committing fully to a relationship that includes a child. You'll hear why silence and omission create more distance than honesty ever will, and how to move from avoidance to authentic integration with your family. What You'll Hear In This Episode: The weight of carrying a secret Why dating someone with a child is a high-stakes situation How to reframe your own expectations to accept the full picture of someone's life The difference between protecting hiding  The hidden opportunity in a holiday meet up Want to track what's working (and what's not) in your dating life? Download the free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker Got a relationship question? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

He says he wants to take things slow and get to know you organically. But when direct questions about his background get dodged, he frames your need for basic information as paranoia, and something's off. A listener named Jada shares: "We matched two weeks ago and the chemistry is amazing. He texts good morning and goodnight, he's enthusiastic about meeting up. But whenever I ask specifics like where he works, what neighborhood he lives in, or even his last name, he gets vague and changes the subject. He keeps saying he likes to stay mysterious and we should get to know each other organically. Part of me thinks it's charming, but another part is worried. Is asking for his last name before we meet reasonable?" In this episode, we break down the difference between genuine mystery and information withholding. You'll learn the practical steps to vet someone before you go in-person, what actual red flags look like in the early stages, and how to advocate for your peace of mind without feeling like you're being unreasonable. What You'll Hear In This Episode: The difference between staying mysterious and hiding information How to recognize the signs of suspicious gaslighting Damona’s 3-step vetting process: PeopleFinders, LinkedIn, and reverse image search The vital online dating step you might be skipping  The one-to-one rule: definitive timing guidelines for dating apps How to protect yourself from the rise in romance scams without closing yourself off to connection Vet your matches with PeopleFinders today! PeopleFinders has set up a special three-day trial offer for Dates & Mates listeners. Head to DamonaHoffman.com/safety to search someone's background, verify their information, and get the peace of mind you need. Got a dating safety question or want to share what you've learned? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your best friend used to be your first call. Now you have to schedule weeks in advance just to see her, and her new boyfriend keeps calling your friendship "codependent." A listener named Sarah shares: "My best friend and I have been inseparable for six years. We talk every day, we're each other's emergency contacts, and honestly she feels more like family than my actual family. But lately her new boyfriend has been making comments about how 'codependent' we are and how she needs to 'prioritize him now.' She's starting to pull back and it's breaking my heart. Am I wrong to feel like she's my person? How do I communicate to her that what we have matters just as much without sounding jealous or clingy?" In this episode, we unpack the invisible hierarchy of love that puts romance at the top and pushes friendships aside. You'll hear why speaking up for the relationships that matter isn't selfish, it's necessary, and how to advocate for your connections without being dismissed as jealous or needy. What You'll Hear In This Episode: Why romantic love doesn't automatically rank higher than friendship love How the "codependent" label gets weaponized against close friendships What it means when a partner asks someone to "prioritize him now" The real reason you're afraid of sounding jealous or clingy How to start the conversation without triggering defensiveness When to recognize someone is making you smaller in their life Want to track what's working (and what's not) in your dating life? Download the free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker Got a relationship question? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

 Uncommon Goods makes holiday shopping stress-free and joyful with thousands of one-of-a-kind gifts you can't find anywhere else.  So shop early, have fun, and cross some names off your list today. To get 15% off your next gift, visit uncommongoods.com/datesmates (Cast Sensitive) _______________________________________ Ever meet someone you really like, but there's this invisible wall around certain topics they won't talk about? A listener named Kristen shares: "I met this guy on Hinge and we've gone out on three dates. We've talked about some personal things about family and stuff, and we have a lot of things in common. One of the things is we were both raised by single parents and one of the parents he's not as close to, and he said it's like a touchy subject for him. So I want to respect that. But I also wanna know a little bit more just to understand how they grew up and how they are as a person and all that jazz, you know?" In this episode, we explore the delicate balance between curiosity and respect, and how to navigate those closed doors in early dating. You'll hear why someone saying "it's a touchy subject" is actually valuable information and how to build trust without pushing too hard. What You'll Hear In This Episode: What "touchy subject" really means The paradox of wanting to protect yourself while giving someone space Is 3 dates, once a week the right pace for slow love? How trust gets built in tiny moments The difference between healthy boundaries and emotional unavailability How to model vulnerability in a new relationship Want to track what's working (and what's not) in your dating life? Download the free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker Got a relationship or dating question? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever meet someone who feels right on every emotional level, but the finance math ain’t mathin’? A listener named Ray shares: "I met a wonderful man online. We went on two amazing dates. He's attentive, attractive, and dare I say we had a magical connection. Here's the thing: it seems he's going through a major life transition. He quit his tech job nine months ago and has been figuring it out. His phone only works on Wi-Fi and he might need to figure out a different living situation to cut costs. I've worked really hard to get to where I'm at today. I'd like someone who could meet me halfway. Is this a deal breaker?" In this episode, we get real about what financial compatibility actually means and why wanting stability doesn't make you materialistic. You'll hear why a magical connection alone isn't enough and how to tell the difference between someone in transition versus someone who's stuck. What You'll Hear In This Episode: Red flags that deserve your digital detective skills What "meeting halfway" really means What is a fair contribution to ask from a partner How to contribute if you or your partner earns less  How resentment builds in a new relationship.  The questions you should be asking when someone's story doesn't quite add up Want to track what's working (and what's not) in your dating life?Download the free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker Got a relationship or dating question? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever feel stuck managing someone else's emotional chaos when you're just trying to get through the day? This week we're tackling a different kind of relationship: the one between you and your boss. What happens when someone in a professional setting starts treating you like their therapist, and you can't just hit mute, unsubscribe, block and delete and walk away? This week, a listener shares: "My boss talks to me like I'm her best friend…way too much info. Relationship problems, family drama, sometimes mid-meeting she'll start telling a story that's got nothing to do with work. It's super uncomfortable, but I also don't wanna create tension. How do I keep things professional when the person in charge doesn't seem to know where the line is?" In this episode, we talk about why oversharing is a form of emotional manipulation and how to set clear but compassionate boundaries. You'll hear how to redirect without drama, why the post-pandemic return to office made boundaries messier, and how the pattern of stuffing down your feelings at work shows up in your romantic relationships too. What You'll Hear In This Episode: When nice doesn't mean safe Why emotional dumping creates liability not connection Three real ways to redirect oversharing without risking your job Why boundaries make you trustworthy, not cold How stuffing down your feelings at work shows up in your romantic relationships Want to track what's working (and what's not) in your dating life?Download the free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker Got a relationship question?DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are sharing a special episode this week, from Dr. Sharon Malone's new podcast, The Second Opinion. On this show, women take back the conversation on health with straight talk, real experience, and the care we all deserve. You’ll hear prominent female advocates, experts and patients just like you sharing how they confronted gaps in our healthcare system and got second opinions that saved their lives. Alongside each guest, Dr. Sharon tackles the questions and topics we’ve been conditioned to ignore - the ones we search for at 3 a.m. but never bring up at the doctor’s office. From dismissed symptoms to systemic failures, she pulls back the curtain on what’s really going on in women’s health and gives women the tools to advocate for themselves and each other. In this episode, Dr. Sharon talks to CNN anchor and analyst Laura Coates about how she almost died during childbirth, her experience with early menopause and how she handles hot flashes on air and at home. Dr. Sharon shares menopause warning signs and helps Laura connect what she thought were individual experiences to menopause. And the two discuss the need for improved awareness around suffering through menopause and the benefits of Hormone Replacement Therapy. Listen to more of The Second Opinion: damonahoffman.com/secondopinion Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever feel like you're speaking different languages with your partner, literally? When one of you wants deep conversations over text and the other needs to actually hear a voice, it's not just frustrating. It's creating real distance. This week, a listener shares: "I'm seeing this guy and we have totally different ways of communicating and it's starting to become a problem. He's all about texting, like everything is through text with him. He wants to have these deep conversations over text and I'm more of a 'can we just call, can we actually talk?' person. Last week I had something I really needed to bring up with him and I texted him about it since that's what he prefers and it went so wrong." In this episode, Damona unpacks why text-based communication has disrupted relationships more than dating apps ever did, what different communication preferences reveal about emotional processing, and how to bridge the gap without losing yourself in the compromise. What You'll Hear In This Episode: Why texting is a new form of communication that must be learned How the “Why” behind someone’s communication style tells you everything A practical framework for having "communication about communication"  Scripts for setting up “The Talk” about communication New ways to assess compatibility 4 ways to reconnect beyond a text message Resources & Links: Want to track what's working (and what's not) in your dating life? Download the free Date Tracker at damonahoffman.com/datetracker Got a communication question? DM @DamonaHoffman on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, or leave a voicemail or text at 424-246-6255 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices