Connected Families Podcast

Does your child get discouraged? Does it feel like your child’s misbehavior seems to drown out the positive things you might notice? And the more you notice misbehavior, the more it seems to happen. We tend to gravitate toward the things we feel need “fixing” in our kids, because our brains prioritize attending to anything wrong or threatening. This is normal!  As a parent you care deeply about your child and want them to grow in wisdom and responsibility, which doesn’t always come naturally! But you can learn to shine a bright spot in a really effective way, on the small things that go well, and begin to unravel this cycle of discouragement in your child. And it will bring encouragement to you as a parent, too! In today’s podcast, Stacy Bellward (podcast host) is joined by Lynne Jackson (Co-Founder of Connected Families) to share a powerful and practical tool to encourage both you and your child!  Lynne struggled with being hard on herself for being negative and critical. The negative self-talk was spilling over as a critical spirit in her parenting, and it was a challenging but rich journey to become more positive and affirming toward her kids. To speak encouraging truth into her kids Lynne developed a simple, useful, and memorable tool called the ABCs of Affirmation. It’s not a performance based, pat-on-the-back method. But it IS a Spirit-filled, life-giving tool that builds wisdom and affirms your child’s identity as a precious and beloved child of God. The ABC’s of Affirmation provide a way for you to receive God’s grace, and then to pour out that grace to your children. When your kids see you receive encouragement from God and others, you can model and pass on the power of genuine, loving affirmation to them.  In this podcast, you’ll discover: the ABC’s of Affirmation: What they are, and how to incorporate this tool in everyday life in practical wayshow brain science matches and supports this biblical toolthe negative impacts of too much “shallow” praise for your childways to grow momentum (and even boost dopamine!) by encouraging yourself as a parenthow to ask  your child thoughtful questions that lead them to self-encourage too! Mentioned in this podcast: I Was a Critical Parent: 7 Steps I Took to Find a More Loving WayIs There “Miracle Grow” for Good Behavior? (The ABC’s of Affirmation) Grace and Truth For Moms (online course) Connected Families FrameworkHow Your Thoughts Change Your Brain, Cells and GenesCorrie Thetford, Lydia Rex (Certified Connected FamiliesParent Coaches)Dr. Alan KazdinConnected Families Insiders TeamBible verses in this podcast: Philippians 4:8, 2 Corinthians 10:5, 1 Thessalonians 4:9, 1 Thessalonians 5:11  How have you used the ABC’s of Affirmation with your kids? We’d love to hear your stories! And don’t forget to check out our new website to encourage yourself and your family with these great resources! Need more encouragement or help? Please contact us, we are here for you! What are your parenting strengths? You’ve got them. Knowing your strengths will help you become the best parent you can be. Knowing your parenting challenges is useful information too. Take our FREE ASSESSMENT. Related PostsAre You Unintentionally Encouraging Bad Behavior? Here’s How to Switch ThatBuild Kids Up with Nourishing Affirmation in 30 SecondsBuilding the Family Team: A Solution to Chore WarsTeach Your Child to Have a Growth Mindset with These Four Steps | Ep. 70

Ever feel like you’ve read all the parenting books and yet still feel overwhelmed? Or perhaps you struggle because so much parenting advice out there just doesn’t seem to fit your family situation. And you’ve discovered that traditional parenting just isn’t cutting it!  This can be especially true for parents who have children through adoption or foster care. In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month, we bring you another fantastic conversation with a family formed through adoption. Today’s podcast brings first-hand stories that demonstrate the practical and meaningful way the Connected Families Framework applies to unique family situations across the board. Stacy Bellward (podcast host) is joined by Chad Hayenga (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Connected Families Coach) and special parent guests, Joe and Becky. Joe and Becky are the parents of three children through adoption.  When they hit a bumpy patch in their parenting journey, they reached out to Chad for parent coaching. As they learned about and applied the parenting Framework, they found a long-term vision for building solid relationships with their children. Not only did they see a change in their kids, but Joe and Becky experienced a change in themselves as well. You can experience this too!  The Connected Families Framework provides an approach to parenting that is:  gospel-centered attachment-focused trauma-informed Connected Families offers a path to a parent-child connection that reveals and expresses the same safety, love, and connection to our children that God gives to us. With the power of God’s love, we can confront old patterns and ways of thinking about parenting, and embrace a new mindset that builds connected relationships. In this podcast, you’ll learn about: overcoming your internal struggles to be a more calm and peaceful parent how the Framework helps you navigate different parenting styles, and offers both a practical and empathetic approach to parenting the power of affirmation in your child’s life (and your spouse’s!)  filling the “reservoir of connection” to sustain your family through the tough times of correction  Mentioned in this podcast: Connected Families Framework TBRI Be a part of the Insiders Team The Peace Process (Sibling Conflict Course) Want to learn more? What I Misunderstood About Adoption–And, Well, All Parenting What Is “Attachment Style”? Podcast: Parenting Kids from Hard Places with Unique Needs Interested in hearing more about Connected Families? Check out our website and these fantastic resources to help you lead your family with confidence and grace. Questions? Need help? Please contact us, we would love to hear from you! Related PostsAn Honest Conversation About Adoption | Ep. 81How to Be Safe for Your Kids | Ep. 76My Misconceptions About Adoption—And, Well, All ParentingParenting Kids from Hard Places with Unique Needs | Ep. 45 Dare to dream of peace again. It’s not hopeless. You can ENJOY YOUR KIDS AGAIN. CONNECT WITH A PARENT COACH

Many of the families in the Connected Families community were formed through adoption. This month, during National Adoption Awareness Month, we look more closely at how the Connected Families Framework can be applied to children who joined their family through adoption (or foster care). Whether or not you’ve adopted, you will not want to miss this podcast!  Note: In this podcast we are sharing the perspective of three internationally adopted transracial families. We recognize there are many different ways adoptive families are formed. Kids who have entered our families through adoption have experienced trauma. This is an honest conversation about adoption, but the truth is that all kids have experienced some level of trauma. The good news is, a trauma-informed approach to parenting is a key element of the Connected Families Framework.  Maybe you have searched and sifted through an overload of parenting advice that has made you even more discouraged. You may have even thought, “Sounds like good advice….for a more ‘normal’ family.” But your family is unique and special, which is exactly how God intended it to be. Be encouraged! You can reach your child in powerful and practical ways. In today’s podcast, three moms on the Connected Families team join together to have an honest and heart-to-heart conversation about some of the ways adoption and trauma have impacted their parenting. Stacy Bellward (podcast host) is joined by Anna Braasch (Executive Director) and Jen Berge (Content Manager) to discuss how the Connected Families Framework provides a profound and gracious approach to trauma-informed parenting.  The Connected Families Framework gives a unique perspective for parenting kids from trauma. It offers the tools to navigate different parenting situations across the board. Our Framework provides an approach to connected parenting that communicates to your child–God can redeem all things! In this podcast, you’ll discover: how certain words surrounding adoption can bring hurt or discomfort, and how you can bring words of healing and compassion instead the science of how trauma affects the body, and how it manifests in a child’s emotions, attachment, and daily living  the vital importance of safety and connection for kids in a chronically heightened state of fight-or-flight, and how your parenting can set the stage for connection in the midst of it the four levels of the Connected Families Framework, and how they play out both emotionally and practically in trauma-informed parenting Resources mentioned in this podcast: Connected Families Framework The History of “Putting a Child Up” for Adoption Orphan Train (book) The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma (book) Connected Families Insiders Team A New Serenity Prayer Bios: Stacy Bellward is the Connected Families Project Manager. She has been married for over 20 years and is a mom of two daughters: One biological and one through adoption from Ethiopia. Stacy loves to be the cheerleader in the Connected Families online courses. She is also an author, speaker, and certified leadership coach. But most of all, Stacy is soaking up all the moments of motherhood, knowing time passes so quickly. Jen Berge is the Content Manager for Connected Families. Jen has been married for over twenty years and has six children ranging in ages from 12-21: four biological, and two added through adoption from Haiti. Jen loves her big family and in her not-so-abundant “free time” she enjoys exercising, attending sporting events, and spending time as a family. Anna Braasch is the Connected Families Executive Director. Anna loves to encourage parents who are struggling. She has experienced infertility, adoption, attachment struggles, and loads of grace and healing. Anna has been married for 25 years and has two kids through adoption from Ethiopia, who are now teenagers. Anna and her family are involved with sports, school events, their church, and the Ethiopian adoption community. Learn more about the Framework Want to dig deeper into Connected Families’ Parenting Framework? Get our FREE ebook, What Kids Need: 4 Messages That Build Identity. Related PostsHow Do I Support My Friend Who Is Adopting?My Misconceptions About Adoption—And, Well, All ParentingWhy Safety Is Crucial for Adoptive Families

Why is changing your parenting just so hard? You’ve tried everything to get a better result in your parenting: You’ve read the books, watched the seminars, tried new methods. You know that you want a different approach to your parenting, but you just don’t know what to do or how to do it. And it’s hard!  It’s messy to rewire old patterns that have been established over many years. This is true for everyone–you are not alone! We can be tempted to give up when a new strategy doesn’t bring the instant change we think we should be getting. But there is a way forward to lasting change–to a more peaceful and connected relationship with your kids! This podcast will give you the inspiration and the practical tools to navigate the “messy” as you work through new patterns of parenting and become a vessel for God’s grace and truth to your kids. Chad Hayenga (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Connected Families Coach) joins Stacy Bellward (podcast host) to discuss how you can move toward healthier ways of responding to your kids that will bring connection, teach wisdom, and invite lasting change. In the unfailing love and strength of Jesus, you can create new patterns in your family systems that change the trajectory of your family for generations to come! It’s not easy, but there is so much good on the other side! In this podcast you’ll learn: why you hold tight to familiar, unwritten family rules, and how they affect your family dynamicsthe key to changing parenting reactions that get the results you want in the moment, but cost you relationally in the long termhow to recognize big emotions and use the Connected Families Framework to ask yourself, “What’s going on in me?” why kids can become more intense as they learn a new way of connection (even if it’s a good change!) and practical tools to help you navigate the process Mentioned in this podcast:  Connected Families websiteThe Key to Unlocking Wisdom and Responsibility in Kids (connection before correction)! Power of Questions online courseBible verses: 2 Corinthians 10:5, Romans 12:2 Give Connection this Year Small connections create lasting love and trust. Your gift supports Christ-centered connection and transformation in families for generations to come. DONATE NOW Related Posts11 Ideas to Help You Stop Yelling at Your KidsCorrect With Good ConsequencesFirst-Time Obedience: Should I Require Immediate Obedience from My Child?How Do You “Be a Better Dad”?How to Be Safe for Your Kids | Ep. 76I Lost My Temper With My Child; Can I Make It Better?

Mom guilt is real and it feels so heavy. Moms, do you ever find your thoughts spiraling through these statements? “I’m such a mess!” “I can’t get it together and my kids don’t like me!” “I’m a bad mom” Stress, feeling overwhelmed, and lack of sleep can intensify all these feelings. It’s important to know you are not alone in the struggle with guilt and shame. And you don’t have to stay stuck in it. There is always hope! In today’s podcast, Katie Wetsell (pediatric nurse and Connected Families Certified Parent Coach ) joins Stacy Bellward (podcast host) to share her own personal story of how she worked through difficult feelings of mom guilt. Katie shares with us the steps she took to embrace the truth of Jesus’ deep love and grace, and some surprising truths about looking at guilt through the filter of faith.  When viewed through the filter of God’s redemptive love and purpose, guilt can actually provide an opportunity for transformation within the safety of God’s gentleness and grace. And when we receive that gentleness and grace from God, we can in turn pour it out and model it to our children. You don’t have to live in the discouragement of Mom guilt! In this podcast, you’ll discover: the difference between guilt and shame and why it matterswhy moms often feel intense guilt about their parenting (and how you can navigate this in a healthy way!)the importance of the first level, Foundation, in the Connected Families Framework ”What’s going on in me?”–to break the cycle of shamehow you can be set free from the lies that keep you stuck in mom guilt through the redemptive and powerful love of Jesus Mentioned in this podcast: Connected Families websiteConnected Families FrameworkConnected Families resourcesBible verses:  2 Corinthians 5:17, Ephesians 6:10-20, 2 Corinthians 12:9, Psalm 139, Hebrews 4:16, 1 John 2:1  About Katie Wetsell: Katie has always had a calling on her heart to care for children. She is a pediatric oncology nurse and pediatric nurse practitioner. After experiencing the benefits of parent coaching through Connected Families herself, Katie later resigned from nursing and became a certified parent coach as well. She and her husband have 4 children (3 boys and a girl) through birth and adoption. Katie is also trained in SPACE treatment to help parents learn how to support their children struggling with anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorders. For more information or to contact Katie, visit her website Parent With Hope. What are your parenting strengths? You’ve got them. Knowing your strengths will help you become the best parent you can be. Knowing your parenting challenges is useful information too. Take our FREE ASSESSMENT.

Does God require your kids to obey immediately? Immediate obedience is probably a familiar concept to you. And, to be quite honest, it’s a hot-button topic! If you’ve ever asked yourself, “How do I get my child to obey?” then this is the podcast for you! Or maybe you feel like your demands for first-time obedience seem to bring more tension and discouragement for both you and your child? If so, this podcast will bring you clarity and encouragement as you seek to be a more connected parent! How DO I get my child to obey? Here at Connected Families, we approach this topic with a unique perspective. In today’s podcast, we dissect and unpack this important and sometimes misunderstood issue. Stacy Bellward (podcast host) is joined by Jim and Lynne Jackson (co-founders of Connected Families) as we continue our series about our Connected Families “special sauce”–what makes us unique!  Obedience is absolutely important to God and to you as a parent. We encourage you view the bigger picture of how God inspires obedience in His children. Control and fear-based parenting can create a toxic relationship, but a deeper and more connected relationship with your child will lead them toward wisdom. The context for obedience is a deep love relationship overflowing with the fullness of God’s grace.  In today’s podcast you’ll learn: why immediate obedience can be a set-up for frustration for both you and childrenwhat the Bible and the life of Jesus tell us about immediate obediencethe importance of examining your own motives as a parent in order to bring the fullness of God’s love to your kidsthe difference between obedience and compliance– and why it matters!how to let go of demands in order to build wisdom and thoughtful responses in your child’s heart You will not want to miss this conversation! It may forever change how you connect with your child as you seek to leave a legacy of wisdom and grace for your family. We would love to connect with you about this, or any other questions you may have! We invite you to contact us.  Mentioned in this podcast: Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart online courseThe Prodigal God  by Tim KellerBible verses mentioned in this podcast: John 14:23-24, 1 John 5:3, Isaiah 64:6, Matthew 23:25, Luke 15:11-32, Luke 1:17, 2 Corinthians 10:5, Colossians 3:21, Ephesians 6:4 Give Connection this Year Small connections create lasting love and trust. Your gift supports Christ-centered connection and transformation in families for generations to come. DONATE NOW

Your child is misbehaving and you just want it to, “Stop!” You want to bring some control to the situation. Emotions escalate. The key to unlocking a Christ-like identity, wisdom, and responsibility in your kids is not a method or a formula. It’s connection. Parenting is hard! You want to hold your child accountable when they misbehave, but your first reaction as a parent can set the tone for how your child receives that discipline. If you want to know what to do to change the trajectory of a tense encounter with your child listen to this podcast. The result: more peaceful and effective outcomes. Unlocking wisdom and responsiblity in kids “Connection before correction” is part of the “special sauce” that makes our Connected Families Framework unique! In Part Two of this series, Jim Jackson (Connected Families co-founder) and Chad Hayenga (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Connected Families Coach) join Stacy Bellward to show you how to bring connection to your parenting in thoughtful and practical ways.  In this podcast you’ll discover: the vital role of connection in the Connected Families Frameworkhow connection outside of correction can build trust and improve your relationship with your child during moments of misbehaviorwhat connection looks like in practical ways in the midst of misbehaviorthe importance of seeing beneath the misbehavior to connect with your child’s heart We are here for you as you seek a  more connected relationship with your child! A fantastic place to start is our Discipline That Connects with Your Child’s Heart online course. Parenting resources mentioned in this podcast: Connected Families FrameworkDiscipline That Connects with Your Child’s Heart online course Frustrated by constant discipline challenges? Take 15 minutes to read our free ebook 4 Messages All Children Long to Hear: A Discipline That Connects Overview.

It’s normal to feel stuck in the frustration of trying to “fix” your child’s behavior. Despite exploring numerous parenting resources and methods, does your heart still feel unsettled? Like you, many other parents feel the same way. Patterns of control, yelling, blaming, and shaming only seem to bring greater disconnection in your relationship with your child. You want things to be different. You want to be safe for your kids, but the patterns seem too ingrained.How can you find a better way to discipline; making sure you are safe for your kids while remaining firm? Today’s podcast gets right to the heart of the Connected Families’ unique and profound biblical Framework for parenting. Stacy Bellward (podcast host) is joined by Jim Jackson (co-founder of Connected Families) and Lydia Rex (Connected Families Parent Coach). Together they discuss the deep and lasting impact of the Connected Families Framework in their own families and in the families of those they work with every day.  In this podcast, you’ll learn: the vital shift from “fix my child” to “fix myself” as you seek to build an environment of emotional safety how to approach parenting with curious questions instead of judgment as you build safety and wisdom the toxic thoughts and lies that can keep you stuck in shame as a parent, and how you can identify them and replace them with God’s grace and truth why humility is the “currency” of connection in discipline The Connected Families “Secret Sauce” to genuine, heart-level change in parents and children occurs in communicating the most important messages that our kids long to hear: “You are safe with me” and “You are loved no matter what.” In Jesus’ love, you can show up with safety and connection and be the parent YOU long to be. Your own inner work will overflow to your child as you move past shame and despair to love and grace. Parenting resources mentioned in this podcast:  Connected Families FrameworkConnected Families Framework MagnetDiscipline That Connects Fall 2021 Online CourseDiscipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart (book)Bible verses mentioned: Matthew 12:34, Psalm 139, Philippians 1:6, Romans 6:17,18, James 1:19 About Lydia Rex: Lydia Rex is a registered nurse, wife, and mother of two and has worked with families in many capacities throughout her career and personal life. She’s been a student of Connected Families since 2014, and continues to find it incredibly life-giving for her own family. Areas of her experience/special interest include foster care and adoption, attachment difficulties, developmental and learning disabilities including FASD. She brings a trauma-informed perspective to the Connected Families Framework and the desire to see families find peace and healing – not just on the other side, but in the midst of challenges! Use our “Contact Us” form to connect with Lydia. Want more information about Connected Families? Check out our website! Feel free to contact us and let us know how we can come alongside you in your parenting journey. We are here to guide you towards God’s grace for you so that you can pass His grace and truth on to your children! 

Ever feel alone or isolated as a parent? Between navigating your kids’ misbehavior in public, enduring other judgmental parents, and the demands of daily life, staying isolated can often feel easier than attempting social connection and events. Yet parenting without a solid community can bring feelings of anxiety, depression, and loneliness. Just like our kids, we as parents need to feel safety and connection in community too. That comes when we parent in community. What holds us back from parenting in community? And what’s the way forward to more safe, connected, and meaningful parenting relationships? Join us and our guest Heather MacFadyen, founder of Don’t Mom Alone, to hear how she worked through some rough seasons of isolation, and how she learned to build a life-giving parenting community around her. Heather joins Stacy Bellward (podcast host) and Jim Jackson (co-founder of Connected Families) to discuss her inner healing journey, and several life-changing truths that offered her hope and a new perspective. Your child’s choices and behavior don’t define you. When you explore what is going on inside of you as a parent in the safety of God’s grace, you can find hope and a new perspective too. You can dispel the shame and fear that keeps you isolated from parenting in community. In this podcast, you’ll discover: “Isolating ideas” that keep you from interacting with other parents and forming meaningful connection with themThe profound importance of starting with the Foundation of “What’s going on in me?”How shame can keep us isolated from connecting with other parentsThe Connected Families Framework that helps you embrace with grace the humanity of both you and your child We are here for you in your parenting journey. Do you have a parenting testimony to share or have a parenting concern?  If so please reach out to us! We hope you have learned life-giving tips today to help you parent with peace and connection. About Heather MacFadyen:  Married and a mom to four sons, Heather struggled with the challenges of raising four young boys. She isolated herself from community, fearing embarrassment, rejection, and failure. Slowly she began to reach out to friends again and started to parent in community. Through prayer with friends, God healed wrong identities Heather was holding onto. She started a podcast called “God-Centered Mom” (now Don’t Mom Alone), a show that has been downloaded over 7 million times. Resources mentioned in this podcast: Heather MacFadyen’s website:  https://dontmomalone.com/ Don’t Mom Alone: Growing the Relationships You Need to be the Mom You Want to Be by Heather MacFadyen The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves by Curt Thompson Connected Families: Discipline That Connects online course The Connected Families Framework Frustrated by constant discipline challenges? Take 15 minutes to read our free ebook 4 Messages All Children Long to Hear: A Discipline That Connects Overview.

If you’re like most parents, you want your child to be a responsible student. But you also want them to use their time wisely to they can have an active social life. (Aaaannnnd, it would be great if they were good at athletics, debate, excited about youth group every Wednesday night, AND could get their chores done without complaining. 😊) Whatever your child’s strengths and challenges are, each school year brings a new set of hopes and dreams. You want your child to be a responsible student, but you also want them to learn life skills that will set them up for success outside of school.  Want a responsible student? In this podcast, Stacy Bellward (podcast host) is joined by Bonnie Williams and Corrie Thetford (Connected Families Parent Coaches). This conversation will bring you incredibly practical and thoughtful strategies to guide your child toward responsibility in their schoolwork and beyond.  Coaching your child to be responsible can be an opportunity to build wisdom and connection. Find out how you can create a foundation of safety today that will open your child’s heart to work as a team with you, as you tackle all that life brings this year. In this episode, you’ll hear: Ways to come alongside with support and encouragement while still holding your child responsible for their schoolwork How certain expectations, beliefs, and demands can negatively impact your efforts to help your childLighthearted curious questions you can ask your child to build wisdom and set them up for successThe importance of discerning what’s under the surface causing anxiety and lack of motivation in your child’s schoolwork battles Have you found yourself trying to figure out how to raise a responsible student? What strategies have helped you and your child navigate homework challenges? Is there something you would love to hear more about in our podcasts? We’d love to hear from you! Resources mentioned in this podcast: Connected Families Framework4 Messages Every Child Longs to Hear (FREE ebook)The “Just Right Challenge” About our guests on today’s podcast: Bonnie Williams has a Master of Education in Special Education. She is a wife and the mother of 3 teenagers. She has supported students with learning and behavior challenges for over 25 years, specializing in working with parents with children ages 3 to 15. Helping families apply the Connected Families Framework is what Bonnie is passionate about. By doing this they can learn new strategies to grow in wisdom and help lead them in having peaceful, grace-filled homes. You can reach her by email at newpathways65@gmail.com. Corrie Thetford has a Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Counseling. At some point she and her husband realized that the way they disciplined was driving a wedge between them and their kids. Because of this they sought coaching through Connected Families. Now, as Connected Families Certified Coaches, they work with other families to experience that same change and restored joy that they found through their coaching experience. Together, Corrie and Alan have founded Building Wise Families. You can learn more about them on the Building Wise Families Podcast. You can reach them by email at coaching@buildingwisefamilies.com. If you are not currently following us on Instagram we encourage you to check it out. Our community is growing there and we’d love to partner with you in your parenting with timely encouragement just for you. Find us @connectedfams for your daily dose of parenting tips. Related Posts3 Ways To Help When Your Child Refuses To Do SchoolworkAsking vs. Telling: What Parents Need to Know About Questions & LearningBack to SchoolClassroom Anxiety: It’s Common, and You Can Help | Ep. 73Whose Life Is It Anyway?