Shrink For The Shy Guy

In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz dives deep into the concept of social freedom—the ability to be your most authentic self in social situations without fear or inhibition. Social freedom isn’t about achieving one final destination but embracing an ongoing journey of self-expression and courage. Dr. Aziz highlights how shedding the "cage" of social anxiety or niceness allows you to fully express your thoughts, feelings, and individuality in every interaction, from casual conversations to meaningful connections. Dr. Aziz breaks down two distinct paths to achieve social freedom: the 3% Path and the Jump-In Path. The 3% Path focuses on incremental, manageable growth—leaning into your edge by making small, consistent changes, like sharing one more authentic sentence or showing a bit more boldness in each interaction. On the other hand, the Jump-In Path is for those ready to dive headfirst into risk, shedding personas and embracing full authenticity in a powerful leap. Both methods, whether gradual or transformative, guide you toward becoming more expressive, authentic, and unapologetically you. Listen in to discover which approach resonates with your journey and how to set actionable steps to implement these transformative practices in your life.   ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Are you ready to break free from the grip of fear, self-doubt, and social anxiety? Imagine waking up tomorrow with the confidence to be completely yourself, no matter who you’re around. It’s not just a dream—it’s something you can achieve, and today, I’m going to share two powerful paths to get you there. In this episode, we’re diving into social freedom—the ability to express who you truly are in any situation without fear of judgment or rejection. Whether it’s speaking your truth at work, sharing your thoughts with friends, or simply wearing what feels good to you, social freedom means you get to be you, unapologetically. What Is Social Freedom? Social freedom is all about being yourself in any social context. It's about feeling free to express your thoughts, your ideas, and even your emotions without the constant worry of being judged or rejected. It’s not just about “acting” confident—social freedom comes from truly owning who you are. To give you a simple example, my son, who was nervous about reading his story aloud, almost held back his creativity out of fear. But after a little support and encouragement, he shared his story, and it was a beautiful moment of connection. That’s what social freedom looks like: letting yourself share and fully express who you are. Two Paths to Achieving Social Freedom Now that you know what social freedom is, how do you get there? There are two distinct paths, and each offers a different approach to help you break free from the shackles of social anxiety. 1. The 3% Path: Small but Powerful Steps The 3% path is about gradually expanding your comfort zone by committing to just 3% more authenticity each time you interact. This could mean sharing one more thought, asking for something you normally wouldn’t, or letting your true feelings show in a conversation. The beauty of this path is that it’s manageable and gradual. A 3% shift is small enough to be manageable but impactful enough to create change over time. It’s the power of consistent, incremental progress. Imagine making one small change in every social interaction—over time, these changes will compound, and before you know it, you’ll be in a totally different place socially. 2. The Jump-Off-the-Dock Path: Dive Right In The second path is more drastic—just dive in. This is the “eff it” path. You decide to fully express yourself without holding back, even if it feels uncomfortable. Instead of approaching each interaction with caution and calculation, you just let go and say what’s on your mind. You stop worrying about pleasing everyone and simply focus on being true to yourself. This path requires boldness. It’s like jumping off a dock into the unknown. The first few jumps will be terrifying, but the rewards are immense: freedom, authenticity, and a sense of relief from constantly holding yourself back. You’ll experience more of your true self, and the social anxiety that once held you back will begin to melt away. Which Path Is Right for You? Both paths will lead you to social freedom, but the key is choosing which one resonates most with you right now. The 3% path is great for those who want a slow and steady approach, while the “jump off the dock” path works best for those ready to make a big shift in a shorter time frame. Remember, there’s no wrong way to go about this. What matters most is your willingness to take action, whether it’s small steps or bold leaps. Take Action Now So, which path will you choose? If you’re ready to take action, set a clear intention for how you want to move forward. Will you start small with the 3% path, or are you ready to dive in headfirst? The most important thing is to start. Lean into the discomfort. That’s where the magic happens. If you’re looking for more support on your journey to social freedom, be sure to check out my Mastermind program coming in early 2025. But until then, embrace who you are and know that your true self is enough. You’ve got this!

In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz delves into the fourth principle of sanity and victory: Almost Always On My Own Side (AMOS). Building on the previous principles—taking ownership, surrendering to life's flow, and embracing the process—AMOS introduces the idea of being consistently compassionate and supportive toward yourself. Dr. Aziz explores the concept of self-compassion as a transformative tool, helping you to let go of self-criticism and cultivate a nurturing relationship with yourself. He draws on both personal experience and years of clinical research, illustrating how shifting from self-attack to self-support can profoundly impact your confidence and overall well-being. Dr. Aziz emphasizes that being on your own side is not just about boosting self-esteem or acknowledging your worth when things go well. Instead, it's about offering yourself kindness and empathy, especially when you face setbacks or challenges. He provides actionable steps to practice AMOS in daily life, including simple yet powerful questions like, “What would I do or say if I were truly on my own side right now?” Whether you’re new to the concept or already practicing it, this episode offers fresh insights and practical tools to deepen your self-compassion and unlock greater confidence. Tune in to discover how to step into a more aligned and supportive relationship with yourself.-------------------------------------------------------------------------   Welcome to today’s episode, where we dive deep into the fourth principle of sanity and victory—a concept that can truly transform your confidence. If you’ve been following along, you already know the first three principles: I am the captain of my ship—taking full ownership of your life. Surrender is the ultimate life skill—accepting that you can’t control everything, but you can control how you respond. The process is the purpose—embracing the journey rather than obsessing over the end goal. If you’re feeling intrigued, then the next principle will change the way you see yourself, forever. It’s called Almost Always On My Own Side (OMOS). What Does "Almost Always" Mean? At its core, this principle is about learning to be on your own side. It’s about treating yourself as you would a close friend—compassionately, with understanding, and without judgment. You’re probably familiar with the term "self-esteem," which refers to how much you value yourself. High self-esteem is about believing you bring value to the world; low self-esteem, on the other hand, is when you feel like you have nothing to offer. But what happens when you don’t feel valuable, especially after making a mistake or when you’re in the process of learning something new? This is where self-compassion comes in. Unlike self-esteem, which is dependent on how well you perform, self-compassion is unconditional. It’s not about being perfect or achieving greatness; it’s about acknowledging your struggles and treating yourself with kindness, regardless of the outcome. What Happens When You're Not On Your Own Side? Imagine being constantly followed around by someone who critiques everything you do. They point out every mistake, call you stupid, and tell you that you're not good enough. You wouldn’t tolerate this behavior from someone else, so why do we allow this internal critic to rule our lives? For many of us, this critic becomes our default mode. We spend our days beating ourselves up, never allowing room for compassion or understanding. The truth is, this is insanity—it’s a toxic pattern that drains our energy and holds us back from living fully. But when we practice being on our own side, we begin to shift from self-attack to self-support. We stop judging ourselves harshly and start lifting ourselves up with compassion, understanding that we are enough just as we are. The Power of Practicing OMOS When you begin to practice being on your own side, something amazing happens: You start to shift how you approach life’s challenges. Instead of hiding from difficulties, you embrace them as opportunities for growth. This change in perspective is incredibly freeing, and it can radically alter your confidence. Why This Principle Is Key to Your Confidence So why is being on your own side so essential for building confidence? Because confidence isn’t about being perfect; it’s about embracing your humanity, mistakes and all. You need the courage to face your fears and take risks, even when things don’t go perfectly. When you’re on your own side, you develop the strength to keep moving forward—no matter how many setbacks you face. Take Action Today Now that you understand the power of being on your own side, it’s time to put this principle into action. Start by asking yourself: How on my own side am I today? Can you treat yourself with kindness and compassion, even in moments of struggle? To take it a step further, think about one area of your life where you’ve been critical of yourself. Maybe it's your work, your appearance, or your relationships. Now, instead of criticizing yourself, show compassion. Acknowledge your struggles, give yourself some grace, and move forward with kindness. If you're ready for more transformation and support in this journey, check out my Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind, where we take principles like OMOS and apply them to real-life challenges, helping you build lasting, unshakable confidence. Remember, you’re awesome, and you deserve to be on your own side. Start practicing today, and watch how your life begins to transform.

Transforming confidence is possible, no matter how long you've struggled. It's a skill that requires consistent action, not just hope. Facing uncomfortable situations can lead to lasting change. While transformation may take longer than expected, true confidence becomes a way of life. Dr. Aziz shares practical steps and inspiring client stories to guide you on this journey. Embracing the process and community support can amplify your growth, making confidence a reachable goal.

Discover how to transform rejection from a source of shame into neutral information. Learn to embrace daily setbacks as learning experiences while managing your emotional responses. Engage in a guided mindfulness exercise to connect with your feelings through breathwork. Dive into the healing power of self-affirmation and recognize your inherent worth, independent of external validation. This journey fosters confidence, inner peace, and self-acceptance, leaving you empowered to face rejection with newfound resilience.

Rejection can feel like a heavy weight, especially for those with social anxiety or people-pleasing tendencies. The discussion unveils hidden patterns that shape our fear, urging listeners to reframe their perceptions of rejection. Key insights reveal how avoiding rejection limits life experiences rather than protecting us. Aziz introduces the concept of recognizing default rejection patterns as the first step toward transformation. Learn to embrace self-worth and reclaim your power to live boldly, free from the sting of rejection.

Discover the transformative power of valuing the journey over outcomes. Embrace the process in fitness, relationships, and self-discovery to find true joy. Learn how focusing on growth rather than results can enhance your sense of purpose. Explore the illusion of permanent happiness and understand that satisfaction lies in your experiences, not just in achieving goals. With personal anecdotes, uncover how enthusiasm can spark transformation and deepen your engagement with life.

Discover the strange secret to becoming more likable by embracing authenticity! It’s not about flashy techniques, but rather showing your true self. Explore how vulnerability can transform your connections and let go of the fear of judgment. Personal stories highlight the magic of being open and real. Whether you're tackling social anxiety or seeking deeper bonds, this conversation reveals how simple changes can drastically enhance your likability and foster genuine relationships.

I'm excited to share with you the second principle of sanity and victory—a concept that can help you feel more free from anxiety, stress, and worrying about what others think. These principles are designed to bring you a sense of peace while empowering you to create the life you want, which is the ultimate victory. In this episode, we dive into the power of surrender. What does it mean to surrender, and how can it become the ultimate life skill for you? I'll explain the meaning behind this principle and how it helps you flow with life, free yourself from unnecessary suffering, and stay calm, even in challenging circumstances. I'll also show you how to avoid the trap of thinking you need everything to go a certain way to feel okay, and how to let go of that need for control. If you're looking to feel less weighed down by life's demands and more empowered, this episode is for you. So, let's explore how surrender can bring you more freedom and joy, and set you up for victory.   ---------------------------------------------------------------   As a reminder, sanity, in this context, refers to a sense of peace and the ability to flow with life without sabotaging your well-being. Victory, on the other hand, is about breaking through challenges and becoming who you are truly meant to be. These principles are here to guide you towards both. Principle #2: Surrender Is the Ultimate Life Skill "Surrender to the divine flow is the ultimate life skill. Not my will, but thy will. I remember the fundamental error that I need something out there to be exactly a certain way in order to feel okay in here. Peace is available right now. I'm okay either way. All I need is within me now. I accept the current painting as it is and calmly walk into an entirely different room." Unpacking the Principle Surrender vs. Giving Up: When we hear the word "surrender," it’s common to associate it with defeat. However, true surrender means submitting to a greater force, allowing life to unfold without forcing our will upon it. It’s about trusting the process and recognizing that we don’t always need to control every aspect of our lives. The Divine Flow: This principle encourages you to connect with the divine flow—whether that’s a spiritual belief, the universe, or simply the natural progression of life. Understanding that life is happening for you, not to you, can alleviate the burden of needing everything to go your way. Accepting Reality: One of the biggest challenges we face is the belief that we need certain outcomes to feel okay. This fundamental error leads to suffering. We often say, “If only this person liked me,” or “If only I had that job,” then I would be happy. This attachment to specific outcomes traps us in a cycle of anxiety. Finding Peace Now: The statement "peace is available right now" reminds us that we can find calm within ourselves regardless of external circumstances. By shifting our focus inward and acknowledging that our worth does not depend on external validation, we can cultivate a sense of peace. Accepting the Current Painting: Imagine your life as a gallery filled with paintings representing different aspects of your existence. Instead of fixating on the ones you dislike, accept them as they are and choose to explore other rooms in your gallery. This metaphor illustrates the importance of recognizing your current circumstances without being bogged down by them. Applying the Principle in Your Life Now that we’ve unpacked this principle, let’s explore how you can integrate it into your daily routine. Time for Action: Embrace Surrender Your action step today is to practice surrender. Here’s how you can do this: Reflect on Your Attachments: Identify areas in your life where you feel anxious or stressed. Ask yourself what specific outcomes you’re attached to and how they affect your emotional state. Practice Acceptance: Take a moment to sit quietly and breathe deeply. Repeat the mantra, “I am okay either way.” Feel the weight of your attachments lifting as you accept your current circumstances. Engage with the Present: Each day, find a small moment to consciously surrender. This could be letting go of a minor annoyance or frustration. Notice how this shift affects your overall mood and well-being. Utilize Guided Resources: Consider listening to the guided audio exercises mentioned in previous episodes. These resources can help reinforce your practice of surrender and acceptance. As we conclude this episode, remember that surrendering to the divine flow doesn’t mean giving up on your goals. It means embracing the journey and allowing life to unfold as it should. By practicing this principle, you can cultivate a deeper sense of peace and freedom, empowering you to navigate life with grace and confidence.Join me next time as we continue our exploration of the Eight Principles of Sanity and Victory. Until then, may you have the courage to surrender and embrace the flow of life, knowing that all you need is within you now. Thank you for being here!

Join Dr. Aziz as he shares powerful tools, insights, and practical steps he's discovered over 15+ years of helping people conquer their fears and embrace their bold, authentic selves. In this special series, you’ll dive into the "Eight Principles of Sanity and Victory," designed to help you master your mindset, reclaim control, and thrive in all areas of your life. Each episode breaks down one principle, packed with real-life examples, action steps, and practical strategies you can apply immediately. Whether you're battling self-doubt, fear of rejection, or just want to feel more in control of your life, you’ll find inspiration, guidance, and encouragement here. You are the captain of your ship, and it’s time to steer it toward the life you truly deserve. Let's do this!   -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Hello and welcome! I’m thrilled to have you here today as we embark on an exciting journey over the next few episodes. We’ll be exploring the Eight Principles of Sanity and Victory—powerful tools designed to help you reclaim your life and build a profound sense of confidence. So, whether you’re seeking to overcome anxiety, enhance your relationships, or find greater purpose, you’re in the right place. The Journey Begins Before we dive into the first principle, I want to take a moment to share the purpose behind this series. My mission—Operation Divine Liberation—is to empower as many people as possible to live fully and authentically. It’s about moving beyond survival mode and into a life of thriving, where you don’t just survive to the end, but truly experience every moment as rich and fulfilling. A Call for Support Now, I need to ask you for a small favor. If you’re finding value in this podcast, I would greatly appreciate it if you could leave a review. Your feedback helps me reach more people and spread this mission further. Thank you for your support! Introducing the Eight Principles Today, we’ll kick off our exploration with the first of the Eight Principles of Sanity and Victory. This principle emerged from my journey of self-reflection, especially as I approached 43 years of age. It’s a reminder that as we navigate life’s challenges, we can choose to steer our own ship rather than be tossed around by the waves of circumstance. Principle #1: I Am the Captain of My Ship "My suffering isn't in my circumstances, but in how I'm steering. I alone am responsible for my state." This principle is foundational for several reasons: Personal Responsibility: It reminds us that we have the power to choose our responses to life’s events. Whether you’re facing rejection, failure, or feelings of inadequacy, you can control how you navigate those emotions. Perspective Shift: When we claim our role as the captain, we start to see our challenges not as burdens but as opportunities for growth. It allows us to step back and realize that our suffering often comes from our reactions rather than our circumstances. Empowerment: Acknowledging that we are in charge of our lives is liberating. It frees us from the narrative that we are victims of our situations, allowing us to take proactive steps toward change. Navigating the Waves of Life Let’s break this down further. When faced with failure or rejection, it’s easy to slip into a negative mindset and view ourselves as inadequate. You might find yourself saying, “I’m not enough” or “I’ll never succeed.” These thoughts can feel overwhelming, but it’s crucial to remember that they are just thoughts—not facts. What to Do Instead: Recognize Your Feelings: Acknowledge the feelings of inadequacy when they arise, but don’t let them define you. It’s okay to feel this way; what matters is how you respond to those feelings. Take Ownership: Instead of blaming external factors, take a moment to reflect on your actions and choices. Ask yourself: “What can I learn from this experience?” or “How can I steer my ship differently next time?” Set Your Course: Establish a vision for where you want to go. Your goals and aspirations can serve as the guiding stars for your journey. With clarity of purpose, you can navigate through life’s storms with greater confidence. Your Action Step: Claim Your Choice To solidify this principle in your life, I encourage you to take action today. Repeat this mantra to yourself: “I am the captain of my ship.” Say it out loud, write it down, and remind yourself daily. This simple act can serve as a powerful reminder of your agency and strength. Closing Thoughts As we wrap up this episode, remember that you have the power to steer your life in the direction you desire. Embrace the challenges as opportunities for growth, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support along the way. Together, we can navigate through life’s complexities with courage and grace. Join me in the next episode as we continue exploring the Eight Principles of Sanity and Victory. Until then, may you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you are enough. Thank you for tuning in!

Welcome to today's episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy! You are brave for clicking on this one because today we're tackling the gruesome three—failure, rejection, and not-enoughness. As we approach Halloween, it's time for some real horror stories—those emotions we avoid like the plague, yet they shape so much of our lives. Forget the bat-like creatures from horror movies; the fear of failure, rejection, and feeling like you're not enough are way scarier and far more avoided. But you're here, and that’s already a bold step. This episode will shed light on these dreaded feelings, helping you realize that you're not alone and that the experience isn't as terrible as it seems when we look at it together. We're diving deep into how personalizing these feelings makes them so much worse and how to shift your perspective to make them more manageable. These emotions—failure, rejection, and not-enoughness—are what hold so many of us back from living the life we truly want. The good news? They don’t have to. Let's dig into these feelings, challenge them, and see what’s really going on beneath the surface. Thanks for joining me on this brave journey! Visit DrAziz.com to learn more and register for my upcoming virtual event, End Social Anxiety Now.   ------------------------------------------------   You’re brave. You clicked on this episode, even though the title probably made you wince: Failure, Rejection, and Not Enoughness. These aren’t just abstract concepts; they’re feelings we all try to avoid. But if you’re listening today, that means you’re ready to face them, and that takes courage.Halloween might be around the corner, but forget about spooky movies with bat-like creatures jumping out to scare you. The real horror? Facing failure, rejection, and that sinking feeling of not being enough. People will line up to watch a horror movie, but when it comes to willingly diving into their fears of failure or rejection, that’s a different story.So, let’s dive into these “Gruesome Three.” By the end of this post, you’ll not only understand why they have such a hold over you, but also how to soften their grip and start living more freely. When Was the Last Time You Felt One of These? For many, it’s probably quite recent. Maybe it’s happening right now as you’re reading this. These feelings don’t need dramatic events to show up. You can feel like a failure just by not checking off everything on your to-do list. Rejection can come from someone taking too long to text you back. And not enoughness? That can hit just from looking in the mirror.For some, these feelings come and go, but for others, they can be a constant, suffocating presence. I know, because I lived there. When I had severe social anxiety, it was like living in a soup of failure, rejection, and not enoughness. And the worst part? The more I avoided those feelings, the more power they gained. The Insanity of Avoidance Most people’s unspoken life plan is to avoid failure, rejection, and the feeling of not being enough. Seems logical, right? But here’s the catch: these feelings find a way to creep back in. Even if you don’t get rejected by someone because you avoid social situations, that feeling of not being enough might sneak in when you see someone else confidently talking to others.So we think, “Well, if I avoid these feelings, I’ll be fine.” But avoidance isn’t freedom. It’s a life lived in fear. The Insane Setup We Create We’ve set ourselves up with impossible expectations: Every action I take should go exactly as I want. Every person I interact with should respond the way I want them to. If not, I’m a failure and I need to feel awful about myself.It’s an insane setup. We’re demanding perfection from ourselves and others, and when that doesn’t happen, we slide down into a pit of shame and self-criticism. But here’s the key: it doesn’t have to be that way. A New Way Forward Instead of avoiding these feelings or allowing them to tear us down, what if we approached them differently? What if we didn’t personalize every failure, rejection, or moment of not enoughness? What if we saw them as part of the human experience, something that doesn’t define our worth?Here’s a shift you can start making today: the action is the win. The fact that you’re putting yourself out there, trying something, speaking up—that’s the victory. Whether or not it turns out the way you want doesn’t define your success.Zoom out. Look at the bigger picture of your life. Failure, rejection, and not enoughness are momentary blips in a much larger process of growth and learning. Your Action Step: Who’s Making You Feel Not Enough? Here’s the big question for today: Who’s making you feel not enough?We tend to think these feelings just happen to us, like rain falling from the sky. But that’s not true. These feelings come from patterns of thinking that we’ve been practicing, often without even realizing it. You have the power to change those patterns.So the next time you feel that sting of not being enough, ask yourself: Who’s doing this? How am I creating this feeling?This simple awareness can start to unravel the grip these feelings have over you. Reclaim Your Power Failure, rejection, and not enoughness don’t have to be terrifying, all-consuming monsters. By understanding them, seeing their roots, and changing your perspective, you can reclaim your power and live more freely.Until we speak again, remember: you are enough, just as you are. And you have the courage to create the life you want.If you want to dive deeper into breaking free from these patterns, join me for my upcoming virtual event. We’re going to deconstruct rejection and give you tools to handle it in a whole new way. Head over to draziz.com to register. Let’s replace that acid pit with a trampoline that bounces you right back into life!