

The Virtual Couch
Tony Overbay LMFT
The Virtual Couch is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist, humor columnist, and motivational speaker who works with many individuals and couples in various areas, including marriage, sexual addiction, and parenting. Tony, and his guests, hope to provide listeners with tools and strategies to help break negative patterns and embrace new and exciting challenges in their lives.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Aug 31, 2022 • 47min
Finally THE Blueprint for Happiness (part 1 of 2)
Tony shares part 1 of a 2-part podcast on his "blueprint to happiness." Tony goes back to the beginning, YOUR beginning, as he starts from birth in describing why it can be so difficult to be happy and what is necessary to maximize your opportunities for happiness. Tony breaks down competing definitions of happiness from Russ Harris' book The Happiness Trap https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Living-Second/dp/1645471160/ and then he shares what our attachment and abandonment wounds look like in childhood and how they play out in our adult relationships. If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and be kept entirely anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Aug 25, 2022 • 47min
What it Feels Like to Be YOU (And Why So Many People Think They Know YOU Better Than YOU!)
YOU are truly one-of-a-kind, the only version of YOU that ever walked the face of the earth. And because of that, you truly feel, think and behave the way you do because, well, you're YOU! So how did you get to be you, and how does being you cause you to show up in the world? And why do so many people try and tell you what you feel, think or how you should behave? Tony tackles what it means to be you from the book "Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom" by Rick Hanson, Ph.D. https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B003TU29WU&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_PT0G7S7YMYJMKH9MT3VW&tag=tonyoverbay-20If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and be kept entirely anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Aug 17, 2022 • 51min
The Secret to Emotional Growth and Maturity w/Nate Christensen, APCC
Tony welcomes Nate Christensen, APCC and host of the podcast "Working Change," with his wife Marla https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/working-change/id1582227016 to the Virtual Couch. Nate shares his 4-step emotional process and explains where we have more of an opportunity to work with our emotions to drive positive change in our lives. They also talk about the role of "gut feeling" and intuition, how sometimes it is essential to lean more into "trusting your gut," and why we must question our intuition on other occasions. If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email him for more information. You will receive free marriage coaching and be kept entirely anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Aug 10, 2022 • 1h 20min
Alana and Luke Gordon On Navigating Betrayal Trauma - Love, Honesty and Control (You Can Only Pick 2)
Alana Gordon and her husband Luke share their story of the highs and lows of navigating a marriage after discovering Luke’s pornography and sex addiction. They talk about what their marriage looked like leading up to the discovery of Luke’s addiction if Alana saw signs before discovery, and what the relationship looked like days, weeks, months, and years after “D-Day.” Alana is the Program Director of WORTH (Women of Rebirth and Therapeutic Healing https://healingwithworth.org/) and the Director of Choose Recovery Services (https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/). Luke is the Co-Director of Choose Recovery Services and the Director of the Men of Moroni and Sons of Helaman pornography addiction recovery programs (https://lifechangingservices.online/menofmoroni/). Tony’s episode about Trauma Bonding on the Healing with WORTH podcast can be heard here https://open.spotify.com/episode/1NCKsJ5ce7oSfhagyaxORi?si=74e1ef1a52bc4421If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email info@tonyoverbay.com. You will receive free marriage coaching and be kept entirely anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Aug 3, 2022 • 40min
Examining 4 Marriage Myths - From Russ Harris's Book "ACT With Love"
Tony talks about his "aha" moment when attending a wedding over the past weekend of why marriages begin with a lot of pressure and unrealized expectations that originate from each person's family history. Then he shares Russ Harris's 4 Myths of Marriage from the book "ACT With Love" https://www.amazon.com/ACT-Love-Struggling-Differences-Relationship/dp/1572246227/ref=sr_1_1?crid=230A2KCMWA6LX&keywords=act+with+love+by+russ+harris&qid=1659530505&sprefix=act+with+love%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-1If you are interested in being coached in Tony's upcoming "Magnetic Marriage Podcast," please email info@tonyoverbay.com. You will receive free marriage coaching and be kept entirely anonymous when the episode airs. Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Jul 28, 2022 • 47min
You Are What You Think...Or You Think What You Are? Looking at Implicit vs Explicit Memory
Does it really matter what you do throughout the day concerning your mental health? Tony tackles the impact of implicit memory and how the "flow of experience gradually sculpts your brain, thus shaping your mind" from the book "Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom" by Rick Hanson, Ph.D. https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B003TU29WU&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_PT0G7S7YMYJMKH9MT3VW&tag=tonyoverbay-20Tony also references the article "Implicit Memory vs. Explicit Memory" by Kendra Cherry https://www.verywellmind.com/implicit-and-explicit-memory-2795346Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Jul 21, 2022 • 33min
The Positive Aspects of Negativity - Why Dissatisfaction is Hardwired
With all of the amazing advances in technology, the increased awareness of our mental health, and apps, shows, programs, and therapists at our fingertips, why is it so hard to be happy? Tony discusses the "surprising psychology of why dissatisfaction is hardwired" from the article "Why You're Never Going to Be Satisfied With Life," by Nir Eyal https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/automatic-you/202207/why-you-re-never-going-be-satisfied-life"http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Jul 13, 2022 • 38min
Therapy Tips For When You Can't See a Therapist (featuring The Angry Therapist)
Tony shares his thoughts on John Kim's, aka "The Angry Therapist" article "7 Tips for Dealing with Life if You Can't Afford a Therapist," https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-angry-therapist/201802/7-tips-dealing-life-if-you-cant-afford-therapist John is the author of the book "I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck: An Everyman's Guide to a Meaningful Life." https://www.amazon.com/Used-Miserable-everymans-guide-meaningful/dp/1780723962/John was featured on episode 107 of The Virtual Couch https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-virtual-couch/id1275153998?i=1000457707797"http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Jul 8, 2022 • 33min
Why It's Important to Forgive but Not Necessarily to Forget
We've all heard the old adage, "you need to forgive and forget." But how hard is it to try to forget something that someone has done to you that causes you even to feel you need to forgive them? Is it even possible to forget certain things that people have done to us, and better yet, is that even healthy for you? Tony discusses the mental health benefits of forgiveness and the mental health challenges and potential dangers of attempting to forget something significant that has occurred in your life. Tony references the article "Why You Should Forgive But "Never" Forget" by Kurt Smith, PsyD https://psychcentral.com/health/reasons-to-forgive-but-not-forgetGo to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Jun 30, 2022 • 1h 4min
Creating Intimacy vs. Seeking Validation in Marriage, Exploring our “Shadows” and Narcissism or Emotional Immaturity w/ Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife
Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife makes her 4th appearance on the Virtual Couch podcast! Tony and Jennifer discuss the difference between coaching and therapy. Jennifer currently offers couples coaching on her “Room for Two” podcast and group coaching along with traditional psychotherapy. They talk about the differences between creating true intimacy vs. seeking validation from others and moving toward self-validation and differentiation (learning how to be autonomous while still maintaining intimacy). They also discuss examples of what a secure attachment looks like in parenting and how we often unconsciously create a dependence on our spouse or our children to feel love. They touch on emotional immaturity vs. narcissism, and they break down what it means to understand our “shadow self” and how bringing our “weakness” out of the shadow can not only be liberating but also allow us to step more confidently into our strengths. Dr. Jennifer teaches couples and individuals how to strengthen their relationships, overcome relational and sexual roadblocks and increase their capacity for intimacy, love, and sexual expression. You can learn more about Dr. Jennifer’s courses, coaching, and her “Room for Two” podcast at http://finlayson-fife.comGo to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony’s “Magnetize Your Marriage” virtual workshop. The cost is only $19. You’ll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ