Playing With Fire

Masturbation has gotten all kinds of press over the years - some good, some bad, some clinical. We are fans of masturbation. Let's talk about what it's good for, how you can explore and learn about yourself, and some ways you can use it to enhance your connection to your partners. Bonus, Joli's going in deep with the depth psychology of masturbation on this one too! Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

Joli calls relationships an individuation accelerator- is your love built for it? Navigating individual differences between partners is not easy (and individuation requires difference!) In this episode, we share some of the ways we manage being vastly different people with divergent interests and goals. We share two key moves you can make to create an individuation relationship of your own. You get to write the script for your relationship yourselves, you don't have to use anybody else's.  Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

Our partner's family can add some challenges to our relationship. In this episode we talk about our own experiences, our mistakes, our successes, and how our relationship deepens because of all of that. Boundary setting plays an important role in all of this, so we refer to the fantastic book Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab, and recommend it as a resource for anyone wanting to improve those skills.  Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

Monogamy works really well for a lot of people and yet a recent study showed that group sexual encounters are the number one fantasy in the US. Maybe as a pair, you've started talking about including other people in your sex life. That can be really fun to think about and to talk about. And there is so much to talk about before taking action! In this episode, we share some things to talk about that can help you all get what you want out of the experience, whether it's a one-time thing or something you're interested in long-term, or something that you decide is more fun to fantasize about than act on. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

You've heard us talk about making a relationship agreement that really works for your particular love... but what if you have been married and now things have changed? Maybe you still deeply care about each other but you don't want the standard-issue marriage anymore. Is divorce the only option? Divorce or not, there are actually bigger issues to consider if you want to really go from that one-size-fits-all (who are we kidding, one size is not sufficient!) kind of marriage to an exquisitely customized love.  Follow Joli on Instagram Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

Last time we talked about managing hard times. What about the good times? Sometimes our partner will be having wins, and maybe we're not, and those times can be challenging too. What can we do to help our partner grow into themselves more? How can we help each other grow? How can we maintain and develop our connection when it looks like things might be changing? In this episode we talk about our experiences with this situation, and offer some things we do that help those times develop our relationship.  Follow Joli on Instagram Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

Heartbreak and sadness show up in all of our lives. How we show up for each other during those times can have a big impact on our relationships. In this episode we talk about some of the ways we support each other through those times, and how both our similarities and differences help us do that. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

We are talking relationship agreements again, this time looking at how we actually, practically, maintain ours. We also found a hole in one of ours while recording that we need to address. (No relationship escapes being a work in progress, including ours!) Follow Joli on Instagram Watch the video version of this episode on Instagram

Quarantine has gone on a long time, now, and most of the natural breaks we used to get have disappeared. As the world opens up we are READY to get some space for sure but honestly, Joli can't wait any longer. Listen to this episode as we brainstorm a way to get a much-needed break from each other with respect and mutual caring. In this episode, we are creating an intentional, well-defined break in our relationship to avoid enmeshment and increase satisfaction. When we say this show is honest, we mean it... this episode found us exploring and co-creating our relationship on the fly.  Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

Marriage is learning all the things you missed on your first meeting. Imagine asking your partner a question you know the answer to and getting a new answer. Does that sound fun, or scary, or both? In this episode we talk about how that works for us, how we make room for each other to change, and how we handle those changes. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube