Having two different communication styles is a recipe for misunderstandings and hurt feelings. We had to learn the super-hard way how to ask for what we need and how to set the stage for a successful conversation no matter how sticky the topic is. Ken and Joli are sharing some of their complicated first holiday story in this episode. Ken talks about how it felt to try to communicate with two partners who had very different wants and needs. Yeah, that's right, we had a complex relationship right from the start-multiple partners and all.  All those complications made it even more crucial to find practical ways to totally overhaul our communication habits--thankfully it has really worked! Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

When holiday stress feels overwhelming I've had the impulse to turn away from my partner and just hunker down in my overloaded psyche. Learning how to courageously lean into the feeling of want is a move that turns holiday stress into an opportunity to connect in our most tender spots. Identifying our wants is at the root of knowing our standpoint, our deeper self, which is a pre-requisite for sharing ourselves with our partner.  Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

The holiday season is awesome... and practically tragic in its ability to leave us feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, and disconnected. In this episode, we talk about how we managed to bring joy back to the forefront of our holiday celebrations by focusing on little moments of connection and getting really explicit on what we need from each other. A dynamic life means that peace & joy sometimes feel out of reach, but by learning how to see our strengths and weaknesses without shame we have the chance to reimagine the holidays and really our whole relationship. Resilience means learning how to be with what is and what we cannot possibly plan for, listen as we explore our resilience habits and failures as we work to make this holiday fun, pandemic and all. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

What is it about love that keeps us assuming that we already know each other, even though we are changing and living in a changing world? Joli and Ken work on how can we keep our relationship pleasurable over the years despite grief, growth, and a changing world. Taking a step away from our assumptions about each other (even though we've known each other our whole lives!) means there are joyful surprises to uncover every day. This episode asks us to look again at those we know the best and dive into them with intentional curiosity. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

Boundaries are an invitation to intimacy but the holidays can make it feel like your boundaries have no place in life. The gravity of tradition can get in the way of checking in with ourselves about what we truly need and want. In this episode, we share stories about how it felt to combine family traditions and how rocky it was trying to learn to communicate our needs to each other when we weren't even sure what those needs were! Learning how to set boundaries started for us with a freezing cold, muddy, miserable Christmas eve walk. Luckily, every day gives us new opportunities to learn about our yes's and no's and most of them don't have to involve a muddy, frozen toddler crying on your hip. Committing to reimagine the holidays is the best gift we can get this wild 2020 holiday season! Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

Owning our *stuff* around the holidays is hard. Joli and Ken are sharing stories about navigating big feelings, a busy family, and old family patterns that pop up at the least helpful times. Learning what works and what sets us off hasn't been simple but it has given us the chance to make stressful times a little smoother and a lot more pleasurable.  Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube For more Project Relationship head to www.JoliHamilton.com 

In episode 1 we are sharing stories about how we've worked on wanting a more-than-okay relationship. Joli and Ken talk about how they combined holiday traditions and how hard it has been to make space for each other's wants.  This episode turned into a live-troubleshooting session where we took stock of-and then action on- some things that haven't been working.  Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube Find more about Project Relationship at www.JoliHamilton.com Follow Joli on Instagram