Transformative Leadership Conversations with Winnie da Silva

Walking the Camino: Leadership and Life LessonsIn this bonus episode, Winnie reflects on her experiences this summer walking the Camino with her family and the leadership and life lessons she learned along the way.Be prepared but don’t over prepare. Allow for serendipitous opportunities to emerge for a more present experience.  Sushil planned all of the logistics to get us to ourstarting place. After that, we just started walking, following the signs as wewent. We didn’t know where we were going to stay or where we were going to eat.We trusted the path thousands of people before us had traveled. We always founda place to eat and sleep. Sometimes, meticulous detailed planning down to thehour can often get in the way of spontaneous discovery. Align on the final destination. Even if it’s not clearhow you’ll get there or how long it will take.  Our goal: get to Santiago. We budgeted 10 days. After thefirst two days we realized this isn’t walking, it is hiking. Mountains. We’renot a particularly outdoorsy or athletic family. All of our walking in NYCdidn’t fully prepare us for this. At first we’re like 10 days? We need moretime! But as our bodies and minds adjusted to the hiking we got it done in 9days! Having clarity on the final goal pushed us forward.The people you surround yourself with will drag you downor bring you up. Choose wisely.  We thought we’d meet lots of people along the way. Butfor the first half we were mostly on our own. So, we really depended on eachother to keep our spirits up. Later on my youngest daughter connected with awoman walking with her adult son. They told each other stories; they raced eachother along the way – sometimes backwards! This woman was so kind and caring.She gave my daughter the energy and confidence she needed that day to keepwalking.Embrace negative feelings with compassion: encouragehonesty, listen, empathize, adjust when you can, remember the goal, keepgoing.   Our bodies were sore at the start. Like I can’t walk, I'mso sore. There were shin splints. Some of us got a cold. One night we stayed ata hostel with no hot water, it smelled like a wet dog (because there was one)and there were lots of flies. Not the best. One day we climbed an elevation of5,000 feet. Each of us hit a wall at different times. The rest of us listenedand gave extra support to the person who needed it the most.Understand each person’s motivation. The drive we have tomove forward can be different for everyone. Each family member was motivated to walk “yet anothermile” in different ways. Popsicles. How fast can you walk a mile? One piece ofcandy per mile. Listening to music. Or an audio book. Searching for kitty cats!A beer at lunch.…Unexpected people can bring wisdom and joy in unforeseenways.  As we began our trek on day two, we encountered anartisan selling hand-made rosaries and other trinkets. The guy, a Colombiantransplant, looked just like Mr. Bloomsbury from the Curious Georgemovie–scrawny, long silvery hair held in a ponytail with a gigantic mustache tomatch. As we said our goodbyes, his message to Sushil was: “Descanso!” Whichmeans: take it easy. Don’t rush the Camino.Six hours later after a spectacular trek up to 4900 feet,we entered a tiny 1500 year old village nestled in the Galician mount​​ains.Loitering about when we arrived was a man who looked exactly like our Mr.Bloomsbury. Apparently, he had forgotten to give Sushil his rosary! So he goton his motorcycle, rode into the mountains and miraculously found us!   Roles will always emerge, whether purposely or bydefault. Be proactive in the role you want to play and the contributions youwant to make. At the end of the Camino, we decided to give out“participation awards.” We collectively decided what contribution we thoughteach person made (in secret). Rummaging through a cheesy gift shop we foundgifts that symbolized their “award”. Hilarity ensued as we tried to explain howtheir award somehow was represented in this weird little present. Sushilreceived “The Camino Sherpa Award” for being the “spiritual guide” of our walk.Our daughters received the following awards: The Mood-Lifter Award, The PuristAward, The Most Resilient Award. I got the “General Award” which I thought waspretty lame until they clarified it wasn’t “in-general” but for being thecommander/enforcer of sorts. Mindset changes everything. Sam Sanchez from AppleFitness says: “You are meant to do hard things.” Besides, the most difficultfeats bring the most satisfying rewards.  Mindset was everything when walking the Camino. And if mymindset wasn’t right, usually this impacted everyone else. Honestly, this quotepopped into my head all the time. Everyday we encountered some sort ofchallenge. But if we believe we are meant to do hard things, that means we aremeant to be here, to figure it out, to push through. I thought about theexperience we were giving our kids. To push through, to be resilient, to dothis thing even if it was really hard at times. The finish was sweet. Lookingback now is even sweeter. You forget the hard things.

Bonus Episode: Mommy, Are You Scared?Welcome leaders, friends, and listeners! While working on Season 4, I have a bonus episode to share. My daughter was in an ice-skating accident in February and I immediately tapped into a leadership program I teach called Managing Stress & Building Resiliency.There is teaching and knowing something and then there is living what you know. In this episode, I share a bit about my experience with my daughter and how I applied perceptual practices from this program. I also offer thoughts and reflections on how you can apply these practices too. Key Takeaways from this Bonus Episode:The power of applying perceptual practices in the face of stress and adversity.Letting go of things beyond your control and focusing on what you can influence.Reappraising events to suspend judgment and consider alternative perspectives.Adopting contemplative practices to cultivate resilience and inner peace.Reflection questions for personal application:Identifying areas of life where you're holding onto things you can't control.Exploring how stress may be distorting your perception of events and seeking alternative interpretations.Considering the integration of contemplative practices into your daily routine.Insights for leaders:Understanding the importance of relinquishing control in leadership and focusing on influence.Conducting a control/no control/influence inventory to prioritize energy and resources effectively.Embracing reappraisal as a tool to avoid rushed judgments and foster open-mindedness.Recognizing the role of leaders as culture makers:Acknowledging that a leader's resilience influences the resilience of their team or organization.Encouraging leaders to model emotional authenticity and vulnerability during challenging times.Emphasizing the significance of listening to and seeking input from team members.To learn more about my work in executive coaching, leadership development and team effectiveness check out my website, connect with me on LinkedIn or email me at winnie@winnifred.org.  Reach out and tell me what was helpful about today’s episode or any suggestions you have for my show.Please leave a review and tell someone else about this show!

Season 3; Episode 9: You Should Smile More with The Band of SistersThe Band of Sisters is a tribe of six women: Dawn Hudson, Angelique Bellmer Krembs, Katie Lacey, Lori Tauber Marcus, Cie Nicholson and Mitzi Short - who all met when they worked at PepsiCo. Each of these women are impressively accomplished executives in their own right with a deep bench of experience working in competitive and traditionally male dominated industries. They have a lot to teach us. And in fact so much so they recently published a book this fall called You Should Smile More: How to Dismantle Gender Bias in the Workplace. What I love about their new book is how you get a variety of different perspectives and approaches on the same issues many, many women have faced over the course of their careers. Yet they don’t just rely on their own experience, they interviewed women and men to hear about their experiences and perspectives – and included these in the book as well.In this final episode of Season 3, three of the six sisters: Lori, Dawn and Cie generously offer us a taster of their new book. They bring a fresh perspective on improving the lives of women in the workplace in the face of offenses at work that gradually have an outsized impact on women. You’ll hear some super practical ways women can respond to gender bias in the workplace and how women and men together can build intentionally inclusive and productive cultures at work.Key Takeaways from this Episode:Culture is Critical ·     Despite leaders’ best intentions, gender bias continues in the workplace.·     Leaders need to create an environment where people can speak truth to power and speak openly about the things that get in the way of having a great culture. This can include women giving direct feedback to other leaders about how they experience gender bias in the workplace. ·     No matter how hard you try, you lose touch when you have a more senior position – men and women. And if you don't put mechanisms in place where people feel comfortable coming to you, you've become part of the problem.·     During COVID, people realized they have more choices for how and where they work. However, microaggressions in work culture were just as common in virtual spaces (think Zoom) as they were in physical spaces (the office). ·     Men and women come out of college and business school today used to dealing with each other pretty equally. Yet in corporate culture which has been passed down through decades this is not the case. Often, the leader will have a vision for a gender-neutral company that attracts and retains talent. But things that happened in the past get passed down inadvertently. Younger people today are almost less equipped to deal with it.Include Men·     Women alone can’t solve gender bias; it’s critical for men to be part of the conversation and solution.·     Women are saying ‘this still happens all the time’ while men honestly say, ‘I didn't know that was a thing’. ·     Men and women together need to create an inclusive culture that expects and reinforces inclusive behaviors from everyone in the company.Make an Impact·     Fixing micro events are usually small things, so they're easy to change or adapt. But those small changes can have a big impact.·     Just being in the room, gives you the power to make a difference.·     This stuff shows up every day in every way. When you're in the room where it happens, it’s an opportunity to say something. You have to go from being a bystander to being an ally. ·     Women tend to think they’re the only one that experiencing gender bias or at first they tend to chalk it up to being the most junior person in the room. Until another women opens up. More in the Book·     We didn't want to write another book where we put the burden on women to solve all the issues. We also speak to bystanders in the room, men, or women, to help them become allies. If you don't bring men, and specifically white men, who are in charge, into the conversation you won’t create change.·     While women have similar experiences of dealing with bias in the workplace, each of us have very different ways to approach this bias. The book is organized to help women to navigate these situations: in one situation you might identify with Mitzi and in another one with Cie. That's the power in having six voices.·     Many of the situations we dealt with in our careers still exist today except they are more subtle and therefore harder to deal with. To learn more about my work in executive coaching, leadership development and team effectiveness check out my website, connect with me on LinkedIn or email me at winnie@winnifred.org.  Reach out and tell me what was helpful about today’s episode or any suggestions you have for my show.Please leave a review and tell someone else about this show; look below for some instructions on how to leave a review on Apple Podcasts.I look forward to sharing another transformative conversation with you next week!------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------How to leave a rating or review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)1.      Open the Podcasts app. 2.      Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., “Transformative Leadership Conversations”) into the search field3.      Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes)4.      Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews5.      Click “Write a Review” underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate us on a 5-star scale, and write a review if you choose (you can rate without writing, if you’d prefer)

Season 3; Episode 8: Intention Matters with Marianne Manseau Marianne Manseau is the Area Vice President for Pernod Ricard a global wine and spirits group whose ambition is to turn every social interaction into a genuine sharing experience. While Marianne’s friendly spirit is immediately apparent, underneath that smile is an extremely intentional, hardworking, and ambitious woman. Marianne shares her experience learning to be vulnerable, why intention matters and how her father and three brothers helped shaped the person she is today. Key Takeaways from this Episode: Listen to your team·     Listen to your team’s pain points and show that you listened to them. ·     Be intentional about bringing people in earlier to get their buy-in, make them to be a bigger part of the process than just their feedback. ·     “Bring folks to the launch and not just the crash.” Be vulnerable ·     When you're uncomfortable, that's when you should think about how vulnerability might help. I have learned to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. That's where I feel I'm growing. And I feel like I'm giving my team the best of me, because I'm allowing myself to go through the process with them and not just lead them through it.·     Show more vulnerability. I can lead the team without having all the answers. ·     Be authentic in the moment. If you’re, scared, don't be afraid to say it. Share what you think along with what might go wrong. ·     There's a range of emotions we have as humans, but we still have to make tough decisions. Valuable lessons·     Business lesson from my dad: Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance.·     Feedback is critically important. Ask for it and be willing to hear it and process it. Figure out where you need to action. You don't have to action on every single element. Let go of feedback that doesn't serve you as long as you really allow yourself to hear it. It. ·     Intention matters. Be sure to express your intention so people know where you’re coming from. By giving people insight into your intentions, you can also show your flexibility and where you’re open to change.  Experiences in becoming a leader as a woman of color·     How we see ourselves is not always how others see us.·     Some people may only see me as a person of color or as a female and others may not see that at all. I'm a strong leader with the potential to do more. I also happen to be a strong woman of color. ·     I had three older brothers. I quickly had to learn to hold my own. I never thought it was unique to be in a room full of males. They all championed me in very different ways, but they played a role in driving my confidence. They see toughness in me when I feel defeated, they see results that I've achieved when I might just be focusing on a missed opportunity. I sometimes see myself as a little sister. They see me as a leader.·     Early in my career, I was fortunate to have a really great manager: Greg Ellison. He set the tone for me in this industry. He didn't treat me differently than the other males on the team, but he was intentional about creating space for me, and he taught me how to create space for myself. He didn't allow me not to speak up in meetings. He celebrated me when I pushed back or challenged ideas. He always had my back. He was the first professional extension of how my brothers treated me. ·     In my current role, there was a powerful moment when I interviewed an African American male candidate. He said to me, right up front in the interview, ‘There aren't many people that look like you and I in the company, especially in leadership, and you being in your role gives me hope that will start to change’. It reminded me how I look has an impact on others and how they see me as a leader. To learn more about my work in executive coaching, leadership development and team effectiveness check out my website, connect with me on LinkedIn or email me at winnie@winnifred.org.  Reach out and tell me what was helpful about today’s episode or any suggestions you have for my show. Please leave a review and tell someone else about this show; look below for some instructions on how to leave a review on Apple Podcasts. I look forward to sharing another transformative conversation with you next week! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ How to leave a rating or review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)1.      Open the Podcasts app. 2.      Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., “Transformative Leadership Conversations”) into the search field3.      Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes)4.      Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews5.      Click “Write a Review” underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate us on a 5-star scale, and write a review if you choose (you can rate without writing, if you’d prefer)

Season 3; Episode 7: How a Bike Accident Build a Leader with Gary HamiltonGary Hamilton is the Senior Vice President for WSP a global management and consultancy services for the built and natural environment. With 25 years of experience in designing and building healthcare facilities globally, Gary is passionate not just about his work but how he shows up as a leader and being a role model for others. Gary’s flair for connecting with people and pushing himself past boundaries is truly inspirational.Key Takeaways from this Episode:Be a Thought Leader·      When I moved to the US after establishing myself in the UK, I had to do something different to stand out. Being a thought leader was brand new. Networking is a big part of that. ·      The biggest challenge for me was determining what I wanted my path to be. I chose critical care environments because of a bike accident I had when I was 18. I became a thought leader on what the building/engineering needs are to prevent infections during surgeries by doing research on these things and writing about it.My Bike Accident·      After my bike accident, I didn’t think I’d ever play soccer again – doctors said I wouldn’t. But eventually through surgery, physical therapy, and training, I was able to, I even represented my university at collegiate games. ·      Even against the odds, I became victorious. It created my mindset that I could do anything. So powerful!·      It became the foundation for my passion in healthcare. And it gives me a point of connection with clients. ·      It became my passion, what drives me. I created a non-profit called Dreams Reality Foundation. If I can give back and give access to underserved communities, I could change lives. Impact communities positively.My Inspiration·      Rick Romy, an incredible mentor: In 2019, I became a Fellow of the American Society of Healthcare Engineers in Baltimore. Biggest moment of my career. Early 40’s. Not a lot of Fellows look like me. Rick sat with my family at the ceremony. He had supported me in everything. Taught me to always show up and show out.·      As a person of color, as an immigrant, I never used color as an impediment. I don’t see it as one, but I always feel like I have something to prove.·      My mom is such an inspiration. 4 kids. Dad left when I was 10. She was alone without a job but she was entrepreneurial. I would sell in the market, take days off school, because I had to help the family. ·      I lead with a smile, empathy, and compassion. I came from nothing, a ghetto community, I even wrote a book, “Ghetto Youth’s Bible”. I have no choice but to be appreciative and upbeat because I know the other side. It drives me to do my best and be my best. I never take the success for granted.·      My experience in a career where I’m truly a minority also drives me. I was the first Black Partner for a company that was almost 150 years old. I didn’t realize what a feat that was, I didn’t know that no one had traveled that path, but I was completely fearless. I just wanted to do and be my best and continued to push through tough circumstances. It doesn’t matter your color, your background, if you’re doing your work, people will notice. “I am not the only one”·      It doesn’t matter if you think what you’re going thru is truly unique, it’s not. There’s a lot of people who have been travelers in the same path and they have gone through similar challenges. ·      Make sure you choose people that can help you, a circle of friends, supporters, and mentors that can assist you when you’re going through those circumstances. ·      Be positive about it, that will help. Knowing that you are not the only one can actually drive a positive mindset. ·      There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel even when it seems your darkest hour. That’s my mindset toward any circumstances, no matter how tough they might seem.My past truly dictates my future·      Leadership is not maintaining the status quo, it is building something truly unique, realizing your vision, and how you want to write your story. As long as you are committed to your goals and vision, you will win.·      Be mindful of how you treat people, it shows who you are. There was a project that we didn’t do well on, and a team member was getting defensive with the client, but I promised the client we would do better, “I am a man of my word”. The client told me my reputation was known; I was known as a trusted client partner. ·      People appreciate it that they see my heart, my passion, and that I am driven to do and be the best I can. Shines thru my job and how I lead. I have a team that I have a tremendous relationship with.·      I continue to lead and challenge the status quo, not to go against the grain, but to prove to myself and to others that it is possible. If you approach or do it differently, you may achieve even better results.Networking enhancing leadership·      Networking is not just building your brand. Networking is building your reputation, building who you want to be. And continuing to live it.·      For a young African American that chooses engineering, chooses leadership, chooses to take their career to the highest level – don’t be daunted by the fact that you might be a minority in leadership, or a minority traversing your path, if you push hard and work hard, and are truly committed to your craft, there is a route to be successful. I don’t use my start or my color as an impediment, I think you can use it as something that drives you and pushes you to the high point of anything you do. Keep pushing. That is my story.·      My leadership style: I lead with a smile. I lead with compassion and empathy. ·      I choose compassion over empathy when I’m leading because I want the people who work for me, to know that I’m going to stand side-by-side with them, figure stuff out with them rather than telling them I understand how they feel. I’m going to hold their hand, help them through whatever challenges, whatever decisions. And if they make the decision on their own, I’m going to support them. My employees appreciate this because I empower them to make decisions and empower them to be great. Compassion is everything. Links & Resources:·      Ghetto Youth's Bible: Wise Words For Ghetto Youth On The Rise·      DTR Foundation·      Your Network is Your Net Worth in Engineering: Seize Every Opportunity  To learn more about my work in executive coaching, leadership development and team effectiveness check out my website, connect with me on LinkedIn or email me at winnie@winnifred.org.  Reach out and tell me what was helpful about today’s episode or any suggestions you have for my show.Please leave a review and tell someone else about this show; look below for some instructions on how to leave a review on Apple Podcasts.I look forward to sharing another transformative conversation with you next week!------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------How to leave a rating or review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)1.     Open the Podcasts app. 2.     Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., “Transformative Leadership Conversations”) into the search field3.     Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes)4.     Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews5.     Click “Write a Review” underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate us on a 5-star scale, and write a review if you choose (you can rate without writing, if you’d prefer)

Season 3; Episode 6: You Have To Go First with Lindsey SalettaLindsey Saletta is the Chief Operating Officer at west~bourne, a food and lifestyle brand that began as the first zero-waste neighborhood restaurant in New York City and is now piloting conscious capitalism in the food industry. Lindsey is an experienced multichannel consumer goods business leader with a focus on organizations experiencing transformational change. She’s also a strategic systems thinker and customer-centric leader ruthlessly focused on profitable revenue growth and cost optimization. I love Lindsey’s clarity on her own strengths and how those same strengths can sometimes be barriers to growth. Lindsey is that ambitious and vibrant leader you wish you could call to help you navigate your own career. So, here’s your chance!Key Takeaways from this Episode:You have to go first. Be vulnerable.·       When a relationship isn’t working, you have to go first to make change happen. But it’s also a two-way relationship. ·       Learn to ask and check in with people about how you’re doing. It’s powerful because it allows people to accept the change you’re working on and create more safety in the relationship.The problem might be you.·       You have tremendous room for growth when you realize you've exhausted every one of your tools and you're still not through the problem and you realize that the problem might be you. ·       When you go inside yourself and rearrange some of the things about yourself and then come back to whatever that external problem was many times you can realize, “Oh, I can solve this now!”.Be open to the idea that your personality can change. ·       I just saw myself as somebody who had a strong personality and that was never going to change. I realized that if I'm not going to change, this is as far as I go, and that was not an acceptable outcome. But I could learn to have these skills. The big breakthrough for me was that empathy was something that can be learned and practiced and improved upon.·       I'm an ENTJ (Myers-Briggs) and that is 100% who I am, but you can learn the skills that are out of preference. It dramatically improved my relationships at work because I was able to decenter myself, set my ego aside just a little bit, and I was able to open myself up to the possibility that I could be softer. Listen first.·       Don't necessarily be the first to speak in that board meeting or in that conference room. If you wait, you listen, you understand the context. You have a little empathy for the other people in the room, and then you speak with a more informed perspective. Don't judge the messenger, judge the information.·       It is important to get as much information as possible to make the best decision you can. It doesn't matter where or who that is coming from. What's important is that you get the information. ·       I was creating a toxic relationship between me and an advisor because I was so focused on letting her know my perspective. She felt like she had to fight to get her opinion heard, and then I didn't like her opinion and I shut it down. But if I kept my mouth shut, she might say something that I didn't know, and I could benefit from it. She doesn't make the decisions. I make the decisions. What is her opinion other than something I can learn from? It's okay if you're not the only shiny one.·       Hire people smarter than you. You don't need to be afraid of someone out-shining you. There is room for all of us. It makes everybody better if everyone shines just as brightly as they possibly can. ·       I'm very much in the mindset of operating from a space of abundance rather than scarcity, when it comes to how many people we can have at the top.A career is a long game, you can only go so far by yourself.·       There's a saying that if you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. That saying is right for a reason, you really need to be able to learn to bring other people with you. If you end up working so hard to get all these things done that you found yourself alone at the end, that's a very quick way to burn out. ·       If you're doing everything by yourself, you're often doing it with brute force and burning all of your political capital. If you run into an area where you need help and someone could make it easier for you, are they going to volunteer to help when you've steamrolled them over the last four meetings? No, absolutely not. That's when you start getting in your own way. At the end of the day, it's all supposed to be fun. ·       If it's going to be this hard, if we're going to work this hard on something, it also has to be fun.Resources·       Camilla Marcus·       Global Brands Group·       Li&Fung·       Principles by Ray Dalio To learn more about my work in executive coaching, leadership development and team effectiveness check out my website, connect with me on LinkedIn or email me at winnie@winnifred.org.  Reach out and tell me what was helpful about today’s episode or any suggestions you have for my show.Please leave a review and tell someone else about this show; look below for some instructions on how to leave a review on Apple Podcasts.I look forward to sharing another transformative conversation with you next week!------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------How to leave a rating or review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)1.      Open the Podcasts app. 2.      Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., “Transformative Leadership Conversations”) into the search field3.      Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes)4.      Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews5.      Click “Write a Review” underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate us on a 5-star scale, and write a review if you choose (you can rate without writing, if you’d prefer)

Season 3; Episode 5: I See You with Cassandra RoseCassandra Rose is a Founding Partner and DEI Practice Co-Lead at Meritarc, a human capital software company and provider of advisory services. Cassandra helps organizations fully leverage their Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion strategy and enables HR and People Leaders to connect the value of their talent with their mission. She has also been recognized as a Top 100 DEI Leader in 2021 by Mogul. Cassandra is also a compelling speaker on the topics of benefits equity and centering the BIPOC employee journey for transformative employee engagement. Our conversation will challenge your thinking on all these topics – and more! Key Takeaways from this Episode:Overcoming Difficulties as a Leader·       Be truthful and honest, always. Say I don't know, but here's what I do know. Here's what I'm going to do to best advocate and serve you. People respect you when we’re transparent. They may not like that answer, but they know you're being authentic in what you're able to do and what you can't promise. ·       Don't allow yourself to be so caught up in just trying to be perfect for your people that you disappoint them and yourself when you can't deliver.·       Having a child has helped me to stop being so obsessive about work.·       Being responsive to people is critical but I need to have boundaries even if the world is on fire. I have to prioritize my own mental health and my loved ones which has helped me to be a better leader. Advocacy & Recognition ·       When people advocate for you, you grow 10 sizes. ·       When you see that someone is doing good work; advocate for them, sponsor them, mentor them, back them up. I promise you they're probably doing their best. And by questioning them and doubting them, that's when the imposter syndrome starts to set in.·       If you see someone doing great work, don't wait until they do the most fantastic thing ever in their career. Recognize people in those small moments too. Leading as a Woman of Color·       When you’re “the only” it's very easy to want to shrink yourself, to want to not show who you are, because you feel like who you are, might get rejected, or that who you are is not good enough to be in that room. Because of that experience I focus on making sure others are seen.·       I’ve gotten really good at focusing on my expertise. No matter which role I had, I knew I had my mind, my intelligence. ·       I knew that if I was in this room, I deserved to be in this room. I may not look like everyone around me, but there's a reason I'm in here and in that confidence, I thought, then why shouldn't I show who I am? Career Advice ·       Become an expert at every level. Take the time to get really get good at the thing you're currently doing. When you're a leader you're going to be great because you took the time to understand the mechanics of the way things work. You'll be better able to support people and grow future leaders because they can learn from the mistakes that you made. ·       There are mundane aspects of every job but lean into the parts that are joyous about your role and take those parts with you into the next thing that you do.·       If you're always comparing yourself, turn off those social media notifications. ·       Always be inspired. When one woman wins, I think all women win. ·       It's a process to every day lean into what you're good at; every human being has a gift or a skill or something that they bring that only they know how to do. That's where your confidence can really blossom.Connecting the Dots: Benefits, DEI·       Benefits equity is about is health equity. Having access to healthcare is a human right. ·       Don’t wait for people to come to the table; proactively go to people and say, yes you deserve care; let's partner together.·       HR started out as “Personnel” which was essentially doing paperwork and making sure people got paid. Now HR has grown into creating cultures, creating little microcosms of humanity, and finding out what we can do to better attract and retain talent.·       Data allows you to see the reality of why benefits are not accessible or why DEI isn’t taking root in your organization. Lack of awareness at all levels throughout most organizations is what holds people back from accessing what an organization offers.·       Let’s stop for a second and truly understand what does it mean to be inclusive? It means that people can be seen for who they are.Connecting with Cassandra·       LinkedIn·       Instagram·       WebsiteResources·       SkimTo learn more about my work in executive coaching, leadership development and team effectiveness check out my website, connect with me on LinkedIn or email me at winnie@winnifred.org.  Reach out and tell me what was helpful about today’s episode or any suggestions you have for my show.Please leave a review and tell someone else about this show; look below for some instructions on how to leave a review on Apple Podcasts.I look forward to sharing another transformative conversation with you next week!------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------How to leave a rating or review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)1.      Open the Podcasts app. 2.      Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., “Transformative Leadership Conversations”) into the search field3.      Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes)4.      Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews5.      Click “Write a Review” underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate us on a 5-star scale, and write a review if you choose (you can rate without writing, if you’d prefer)

Season 3; Episode 4: The Shared Journey is Where the Richness Lies with Peter and Holly GordonPeter Gordon is the Chief Investment Officer and Head of Commercial Real Estate Debt for a large asset management firm. Holly Gordon is the Chief Impact Officer at Participant Media, overseeing the company’s social impact strategy and campaigns, furthering Participant’s mission to create storytelling that inspires positive social change. Key Takeaways from this Episode:Words, Behavior & Connection·       Label the conversation: Is this a vent session? Is it a decision-making session? Is it brainstorming? ·       If it's vent session, ask the person venting: do you think that person meant to do what they did? If not, then rethink the complaint and change your approach. There's a lot that’s invisible in everyone's conversations.·       Words set the stage and actions define it and you're defined by your actions, not by your words. We can float words out there, but at the end of the day, it's how we consistently behave that defines us. ·       Stop and say, ‘What am I afraid of?’ I'm having a reaction to this conversation, and here's why: I'm afraid that this might happen… What makes us most agitated has some kind of fear around it. Fight or flight mode is about survival. If you can identify it, you can start to let it go, because it usually can be worked out. ·       Walking meetings, even on the phone, is different than sitting across the table from each other or being on Zoom. When you're moving, it has a different kind of physiological effect, and it creates feelings of connection. Safety & Untangling the Toxic Workplace·       The overlap between work and home life, can build on one another in a great way, or in a destructive way. In a safe workplace, some people open up and other people almost go backwards. ·       Is there a component of their home life, that they haven't had that kind of autonomy and freedom of thought, and they're not sure what to do with it?·       Don’t hide behind the phrase “toxic workplace.” Instead, you need to unpack the dynamics behind why you’re not happy in that workplace. Also reflect on your own contribution that you identify as areas for growth.The Great Resignation·       Reflect on which dynamics at work are difficult? Is it just one or two individuals? Is it a lack of shared values? ·       It's a lot of work to decide to stay or quit. That's why people just stay out of exhaustion or quit and haven't really figured out why they quit or what they should be doing differently.·       If you don't figure out why you are quitting, you can carry that baggage to the next place.Situational Leadership·       There's more than one type of leadership, there's a spectrum. Not one type of leadership works in isolation. You have to adapt. On one end of the spectrum is leadership that offers vision, guidance, and direction; the other end of the spectrum offers compassion and being in the journey with you.·       Leaders need to recognize the spectrum and do what is necessary at the right time with the right person. Some perform at a much better level at one end of the spectrum than the other, but you need both. ·       You need to earn my respect, so I will follow you, and I need to earn your respect every day so that you will follow me. People are trusting that leaders have their best interests at heart.·       Leadership is better and more productive when less hierarchical. It's less about structure and more about how you deliver conversations and respect one another.Advice to co-CEOs & co-Founders·       Being a co-CEO or co-founder is a lot like a marriage. Reflect deeply on what you both imagined to be true and what you want to be true. What can begin as a slight difference becomes the Grand Canyon over time.·       Any kind of co-leadership role demands trust, respect, loyalty, feeling valued, appreciated, etc. When you only have your own perspective, mediation (bringing in a third person) can help work through challenges and remind both people that they have the same shared goal, the health of their company.Work & Home Life·       The work that you do in your marriage, your personal relationships, and the way you apply that to your work, are connected. ·       The old model of, “I shut the door and go home, and I'm a different person at home than I am at work” is dangerous. You should be the same person at both places. The person and the principles that guide you shouldn't change from one place to the other.Finding your partner and equal·       Deep trust, strong communication, independence with interdependence is critical to relationships. So is loyalty, respect, attention, and interest in your relationships, will achieve, over time, a kind of understanding.·       Having different skillsets and looking at the world differently helped us recognize and appreciate that each person brings a different skill to the relationship.·       Painful cycles are normal to any relationship. Resources·       Unfinished Business by Anne-Marie Slaughter·       Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler·       How to tame your Advice Monster TEDx with Michael Bungay Stanier ·       Girl RisingTo learn more about my work in executive coaching, leadership development and team effectiveness check out my website, connect with me on LinkedIn or email me at winnie@winnifred.org.  Reach out and tell me what was helpful about today’s episode or any suggestions you have for my show.Please leave a review and tell someone else about this show; look below for some instructions on how to leave a review on Apple Podcasts.I look forward to sharing another transformative conversation with you next week!------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------How to leave a rating or review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)1.      Open the Podcasts app. 2.      Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., “Transformative Leadership Conversations”) into the search field3.      Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes)4.      Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews5.      Click “Write a Review” underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate us on a 5-star scale, and write a review if you choose (you can rate without writing, if you’d prefer)

Season 3; Episode 3: Storytelling is Our Most Powerful Tool for Change with Holly GordonHolly Gordon is the Chief Impact Officer at Participant Media, overseeing the company’s social impact strategy and campaigns, furthering Participant’s mission to create storytelling that inspires positive social change. Prior to Participant, Holly co-founded Girl Rising, a global campaign for girls’ education. Holly was also an Executive Producer for Girl Rising, the film at the center of the movement. Forbes Magazine named the Girl Rising campaign the #1 Most Dynamic Social Initiative of 2012. Holly was selected by Fast Company as a member of the League of Extraordinary Women and named by Newsweek/Daily Beast as one of 125 Women of Impact. Earlier in her career, Holly was a producer at ABC News.Key Takeaways from this Episode:The Power of Storytelling ·       Use the power of storytelling to make the world a better place by inspiring, empowering, and connecting community leaders on the front lines of change. ·       Stories live inside you, they become purpose when they are expressed outside of you. Change happens when you share that story with someone and you make an agreement to do the thing, it is not an individual sport. Storytelling is our most powerful tool for change.·       In everything we do, we’re telling ourselves a story about what is fixed versus what is changeable. They are powerful stories that are usually reinforced by society. Think about the story you're telling yourself, and then challenge yourself with a different way of thinking.·       You can move people from their seats to the streets with amazing stories. Inspire, Empower, Connect·       Emotions are really important in leadership. Activating emotions are hope and inspiration that make you feel activated towards something. They are a motivating force.·       Empower: before we do anything, we ask ourselves, can I do it? You need to create the tools, opportunities, or pathways for people to move from inspired to action. ·       Connection between people is core to making change in any organization or structure. The question that you're answering is, what is everyone else doing? People who believe the same things, catalyze them, give them an opportunity, and then connect them to each other. And then you've got a movement!·       Persuasion vs. Telling: Persuasion is often confused with telling. Persuasion is what happens between sharing a vision and then waiting, listening for the response. It’s hearing people, their fears and hopes, and listening enough that you have persuaded them to join the fight.Leadership·       I wake up and I ask, how can I be of service? If you ask yourself that question, you never go wrong, because your incentives are oriented towards setting a vision and listening to what others need in support of it. ·       Leadership is about understanding what people are afraid of and trying to make a consistently supportive environment. Does everyone on the team have what they need to bring their full gifts to our work?·       The history of leadership has been very much about who's holding power, being right, and who has the answers. In the 21st century, leadership is all about choice. Our employees have many choices about where they can work. Leadership becomes a more humanistic-focused effort about communication and understanding. It’s a re-imagining of capitalism, from a shareholder perspective to a stakeholder perspective. ·       Leadership leans into vision. It is about telling a story of possibility that other people can imagine and buy into (e.g., Martin Luther King, Jr.). A challenge to achieve something that's just out of reach, but possible.·       Management is the process, systems, structures, and the operational nuts and bolts of getting multiple people to achieve that vision. It's the marriage of vision and management that goes from being a single actor to a leader of an organization. Leadership is about relationships and partnership. Books·       Immunity to Change·       The Athena Doctrine: How Women (and the Men Who Think Like Them) Will Rule the FuturePeople & Organizations·       Participant Media·       Girl Rising·       Hello Sunshine: Reese Witherspoon·       ARRAY: Ava DuVernay·       MACRO: Charles King·       National Domestic Workers Alliance: Ai-jen Poo·       Civic Georgia·       Lara GalinskyTo learn more about my work in executive coaching, leadership development and team effectiveness check out my website, connect with me on LinkedIn or email me at winnie@winnifred.org.  Reach out and tell me what was helpful about today’s episode or any suggestions you have for my show.Please leave a review and tell someone else about this show; look below for some instructions on how to leave a review on Apple Podcasts.I look forward to sharing another transformative conversation with you next week!------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------How to leave a rating or review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)1.      Open the Podcasts app. 2.      Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., “Transformative Leadership Conversations”) into the search field3.      Select the show under Shows (not under Episodes)4.      Scroll down past the first few episodes until you see Ratings & Reviews5.      Click “Write a Review” underneath the displayed reviews from other listeners. You’ll then have the option to rate us on a 5-star scale, and write a review if you choose (you can rate without writing, if you’d prefer)