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 LPN Funhouse's very own HIGH Chancellor, and resident Male Feminist, Holden McNeely crashes the SLUMBA PARTAH to goss' 'bout women goin' to space, Jackie's pro-anything that gest Katy Perry as far as away from Earth as POSSIBLE and Kesha seems to be feelin' the same way, speaking of which Katy Perry Warning at 6:55.211 and it's VERY STEM Science GIRL POWER, but back on this beautiful blue marble it's finally OVER, 'The Baldwins' season (series? lord hopes) finale plays on just in time for COOOOOACHEEELLLLAAAA! With jump suited Benson Boone bringing out, like, some dude named Brian Mayes? or whatever and they played 'Bohemian Rhapsody' then The Internet got upset people didn't know who the crusty old man was, HOLDEN IS ALMOST ONE OF 'THE SCUNGILLED',  Gaga's new album has Jackie screaming praise about it at strangers in the street and her set was just as impressive, Holden's suggestin' all the BLACKPINK solo albums, Bernie Sanders being at Coachella WASN'T a sundandrugfueled hallucination, Aimee Lou Wood was seen crying at Coachella and rumor has it that it was SNL bein' RUDE, Jackie tried both 'White Lotus' coffee creamers which leads to the reveal she was gonna be the new face of Crockpot campaign until OOPS a plot point on 'This Is Us' KILLED that. Then it's time for a list of bizarre, true stories behind the most popular music EVAAAAAAAAAAA, 'LPN FUNHOUSE' RETURNS MAY 1ST FOR BIG PAPA HENRY'S BDAY and it is going to be upsetting, Jackie's Snackies warning at 1:00:04.550 til 1:09:06.926, AND SO MUCH MORE ON THIS WEEK'S P7VR!!  Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

'Confidently Wrong' Jackie Zebrowski and MJ Knefel have now realized their mistake regarding The Hanks Children, but that ain't enough to make them wanna push through the sadness to read the newly announced CRUSHING memoir that will NOT be on Celeb Readies, 'The Baldwins' are filling Jackie with a poison that the only cure is to spew it forth as they discuss HILARIA being a True Blue American by pushing the age-old capitalist idea of monetizing every hobby you ever have on your kids, and working Alec into an early(ish) grave while they finally show one of their helpers faces on screen, Mickey Rourke continues being a disgusting bigot on 'Big Brother (UK)' as he harasses JoJo Siwa and lucks out that she knows throwing a right hook on a 72 year old would (unjustly) get blasted everywhere, 'The Naked Gun' remake trailer looks more like an action film with Liam Neeson in the lead and Jackie is PUMPED, there is an absolute abomination against mankind itself currently available for the weekend at ONE specific, off the path Pizza Hut in NYC and MJ is begging for someone to take that Plant Based Gelatinous Substance bullet for 'em, Jackie and Geoff raced through season 3 of 'Love on the Spectrum', the charge nurse on 'The Pitt' has Jackie and MJ turnin' into neckbeards like werewolves in the full moonlight, they're both finally divin' into 'Hacks' and that only took basically everyone telling them how good it was, ALERT ALERT OLIVE GARDEN HAS BEEN DETHRONED AS TOP CASUAL DINING SPOT IN U.S. ALERT ALERT Olympus has fallen, discussion of the discourse around 'White Lotus' right now, Coffee Mate made sure to let everyone know THEY didn't know about the ending before they collabed for a Piña Colada Liquid Non-Dairy Creamer, 'Bad Influence: The Dark Side of Kidfluencing' is absolutely not for everyone but everyone SHOULD be thinking about the subject, Jackie really enjoyed 'Everybody's Live with John Mulaney', AND SO MUCH MORE! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

UH-OH! This week's sleepover is about to get a LIL' BITCHY UP IN HERE as LPN's resident 'Bitch From Another W.I.T.C.H' Kara Klenk drops by to reminisce of days gone by spent with her now husband while MJ's reminiscing about their brothers old, toxic, rooftop pisshole in NYC, and Jackie's OBSESSED with the new 'Lady Gaga Fun Mouth Sounds' album! But speaking of toxic pissholes, in a move which surely leaves everyone grosser and in need of a shower, Rumer Willis opens up about still taking baths with her sisters, Steve Irwin's son, Robert Irwin, is 21 years old now and wants everyone to see his anaconda. While on the subject of the lineage of beloved TV hosts, Kara has hot goss' on Neil 'Smokedagrass' Tyson getting a much needed HUMBLIN' during 'Celebrity Jeopardy', then it's time for some 'White Lotus' spoilers! Starting around 24:13 and ending around 47:25, next up is a list of 'Celebrity Parenting Rules That Make Either A Ton of Sense Or Very Little Sense', BLINDZ with 'Quickdraw Jackie' - the fastest gossip slinger of the West! Finally, misophoniacs and anti-Kardashianists beware, you're in for a scare! Jackie's Snackies is back and runs from 1:09:04.396 til about 1:21:04.541. All that, AND MORE on this week's P7VR! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Jackie's teeth Tony is a whistlin', parentfluencers are shillin' a 3 figure box that tells your kids a story without a screen (aka a RADIO), Chappell Roan is PREACHING 'bout havin' kids too young, and the newest Baldwin episode is literally just about a rug and not worth missing the opera for, so Jackie gives a 5 second (too long possibly) synopsis. 'The Studio' is great and filled with stars, and worth payin' for Apple TV, it's dropping weekly and there's 3 eps right now. Jackie recommends 'Midcentury Modern', a new sitcom on Hulu starring Nathan Lane that's essentially 'Golden Girls' with gay men. 'The Pitt' demands your full attention and your full tear ducts RIGHT. NOW. but 'Death of a Unicorn' DOES NOT. There's 4 Beatles movies bein' created by Sam Mendez that all intersect for a "bingeable" theatre experience, which leads to a possible sighting of a giant Liverpool lap lizard, a film based on Britney Spear's memoir 'The Woman Inside Me', and JoJo Siwa is pulling a Gene Simmons with a personal assistant VIP package, but at least her comes with a ticket to the show. Mike White of 'White Lotus' has kicked up a mess by going on terminal weirdo and transphobe Andrew Sullivan's podcast, 'Love on the Spectrum' Season 3 dropped and accidentally kept Jackie from sleepin', Cardi B's kid drew on her $60,000 bag BECAUSE CELEBS ARE JUST LIKE US! Rambo nearly ruined an impromtru Jackie's Snackies as his final act before he started checkin' Sundae the Black Lab's Instagram from the sky, Jackie goes over a list of April Fool's Day products, but sadly Snooki's fried pickle ice cream isn't one of them. Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

This week's slumba partah is being crashed by Page 7's big sister and resident DJ Tanner, Natalie Jean as we dive right into 'Hollywood Demons', '7th Heaven's' pedo problem and the true wronged party in 'Mrs. Doubtfire', the indoctrination of Disney Vacation eps of 90's sitcoms, Amy Sherman-Palladino had a mysterious event that Jackie and Natalie chose to skip for fear of an 'Eyes Wide Shut' situation that turned out to be a panel discussion with some of the heads of the creators work which leads to some ghost fuckin' talk that has Natalie accessing her inner weeb because TECHNICALLY CASPER IS 200 YEARS OLD, Andrew Lloyd Webber created the Phantom sequel no one asked for, Fran Drescher has a hotation and Jackie used to get sandwiches from a killer, Chet Hanks and his band have put out a song and video 'Something Out West' that Jackie gives a general taste of, Momtok Talk now has MJ emersed in Ruby Frankie, then a list of 'Adults In Teen Movies Who Were Right!', followed by BLINDZ that no one wants to believe (UGH, LOVE IS DEAD), and then it's time (1:14:26 / 1 hr 14 min 26 sec TIL 1:23:24 / 1 hr 23 min 24 sec) to be Snackfluenced by Jackie's Snackies! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

GET UR BIBS ON AND GRAB A SPOON, Jackie and MJ are back to serve up some sloppy, slimy leftovers to (hopefully) satisfy all your quivering, begging earholes! MJ's livin' their best life with back to back 'The Pitt' episodes and 'Temptation Island' (2025 The Reboot) per Jackie's suggestion. White Lotus was an experience for all those watching and got everyone sayin' 'I've been fucked up....But I ain't ever been THAT fucked up', but Gud Pud Jackie probably enjoyed it ps SPOILERYNESS STARTS AROUND 11:40 til 27:00 (I think that's it?) In a similarly mortifying fashion, Gwen Stefani is partnering with a bunch of other uber religious celebs to release a Jesus app called 'Hallow' that'll help you 'STAY PRAYED UP' with Mark Wahlberg!.......for $9.99 a month. MJ loves Season 1 'Severance' and Jackie's saying Season 2 is just as good, regardless of reviews. The most recent season of 'Love Is Blind' has conservatives foaming at the mouth because of two female contestants drawing the line at hateful religions, a listener gave Jackie a complex by letting them know that Benny Blanco is a bad bad man because he....ruined Maroon 5? More? Sabrina Carpenter keeps unjustly getting shit as well as praise for being 'too sexy', and if that ain't just a summation of being a female presenting human for the past ~12000 years. This delves into a deeper conversation of why the responsibility of raising a generation of girls was placed upon a teenage Britney Spears shoulders when all she wanted to do was sing and dance. Sabrina also collaborated with the one and only Dolly Parton to release a new version of 'Please, Please, Please' with a MV that tells the rest of the tale from the first video! Jennifer Coolidge is braggin' 'bout gettin' laid from her acting roles and now she's attracted to deeply unavailable meeeeeeen. Jackie gives a positively glowing review of 'Best in Show' with suggestion to watch any movie by Christopher Guest, and the bad reviews just keep rollin' in as 'The Baldwins' puts everyone to sleep. And it's not just from the nitrous from their child armies pediatric dentist office.Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

This week on Page 7, Jackie and MJ are joined by LPN's very own political papa Travis Irvine! MJ asks Travis how he deals with the politics right now and not wanting to die, and Travis reveals his secrets! Stanley Tucci got asked by delish if he could only dine at one chain restaurant for the rest of his life and he said "I'd rather not" cause he hates 'em all. Tina Fey was a guest on Amy Poehler's podcast and brought up how much it bothers her when rich people have side hustles that are just cash grabs and erryone is talkin' bout it. A dying man got his wish to be buried in a Snickers inspired coffin that say's "I'M NUTS" on the side, and Jackie learns of a startling new study on hot dogs. A List full of weird fears, the Blinds, AND GET YA CRUNCH ON WITH JACKIES SNACKIES! Plus so much more! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Jackie and MJ are back again for a Second Helpin'! This week, HILARIA berates her husband publicly in an attempt to be cute but definitely comes off pompous and MEAN, then she uses the 15 year old sister of her daughter's friend to let the world know her dropping the accent is Code Switching. Geoff introduced Jackie to Jack Reacher with 3 words 'Big Beefy Boys', and keeping with the theme of masculinity, MJ is trying the British police procedural  'Adolescents' and it's not fun. at all. TLC is dropping trailers for a new show called 'Poly Family' but it's not out until April! MJ also checked out 'Heretic', warns all airport travelers they will too, and MJ attempts to sell Jackie on 'Disco Foot' much to Bully Jackie's chagrin, plus even more!  Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Big Bro Henry is crashing the slumba par-tay this week as MJ and Jackie kick off the show with HILARIA verbally berating her man-child for speaking while she speaks, HAWT FLASHES is about dog life extending medicine that Henry is already well aware of, allegedly Meryl Streep and Martin Short are dating and Henry DEMANDS THE TAPE! Tori Spelling is saying the kid she has massage her while nude is the reincarnation of her father which feels very healthy and normal, Henry's placing bets about Chet Hanks AND gives some true crime advice about Gene Hackman and his wife's recent deaths. Finally, a List filled with celebrity side projects that were confusing and insane, the blindz, and then get ready for MOUF SOUNDS cause Jackie's Snackies is back! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

MJ and Jackie are back and crankin' out new themes for Second Helpings! Rewatching the 'Step By Step' theme and reading 'The Baby-Sitters Club' to their own child has got MJ thinkin' 'bout millennial children of divorce, Jackie says the 'Love is Blind' finale had her in tears, Jackie prematurely turned off American Murder: Gabby Petito while watching it with MJ and now she's prematurely doing something else while thinking of the buffbutch FBI agent featured in it, Tori Spelling apparently doesn't drink water and you can definitely tell, and Gene Simmons is charging fans over $10,000 dollars to be his personal assistant for the day, Ben Affleck seems to only know 2 women and they're both named Jennifer, Hailey Bieber did a photoshoot that got her roasted, because everyone missed the point, and Justin ripped a bong while riding a bike. Jackie went to see 'Mickey 17' and was surprised that they didn't completely love it, and over in Baldwin corner, Alec and HILARIA launched the grand reopening of the Planet Hollywood in New York Time Square last Tuesday and still continue to be generally unlikeable on 'The Baldwins', MJ is finally gettin' into 'Severance', Jackie is caught up on 'The Traitors' season 3, recommends Doctor Odyssey for that sweet sweet white noise, and even more on this week's Second Helpings! Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.