The B.rad Podcast

Check out the Medium.com they have great articles on assorted topics. An article by Clint Carter offers insights from eight technology leaders about how to best manage our mobile devices to minimize stress and make life more productive and relaxing. Carter makes the convincing argument that we are feeding the tech beast with our obsessive use. We must recognize that companies are working hard to get and keep us addicted. Heed some awesome tips as follows: Get a solid hour of work done before you launch your browser. Quit video games cold turkey if they are messing with your life. Manage your use of email with group project apps and the Gmail snooze function. Take breaks from social media when you feel overwhelmed. Keep your device at a safe distance, both to avoid EMF and also to avoid temptation. Get email off your mobile device so you aren’t constantly compelled to keep up. Consider swapping out social media apps for legit news resources. Schedule down time from phone use, like using airplane mode on weekends and taking photos instead. A great quote from Dr. Peper in the article: “The phone hijacks our evolutionary patterns. We don’t do good with multitasking, so if you’re writing an article, and every five minutes you pop back to answer a message, you’re much less productive in the long term.”Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-get-over-yourself-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Andrew is an evolved coach of endurance training and life, my longtime friend and triathlon mate from the pro circuit and popular recurring guest on the Primal Endurance Podcast. Andrew had dozens of wins on the pro triathlon circuit from ’86-’93, as well as some extraordinary performances as a master, including a national XTerra triathlon title and destroying the Wildflower 50+ course record with a pro-level performance even as an old dude. Andrew’s lifelong commitment to health and fitness involves exceptional dietary quality standards (along with constant experimentation and evaluation), maintaining elite level fitness in the decades after his retirement from the pro circuit, and a deep immersion into functional medicine, both as a patient and as a coach.   Andrew is a strong proponent of how mindset affects physical health and promotes the importance of being an intuitive athlete above all else, especially with our modern obsession with technology potentially compromising intuitive skills. In this show, the pair talk about how important it is to make health your number-one priority in life, for you can’t reach your potential, nor be of best service to others without a baseline level of health. Unfortunately, many of us just don’t do it. We make excuses and rationalizations, we become martyrs, workaholics or overtraining junkees, we disconnect mind from body, and finally wake up with regrets when the aging process takes aggressive action. Andrew says, “The new wealth is time, not money,” and how he knows a great many affluent people, but, “I don’t know too many happy rich people.” He also observes that many people have never experienced optimum health or fitness, so they think they are “okay” without any better reference point.    How to get better and make health #1: Understand and take action with what you can control, and let go of what you can’t control. Get your physical body right (with healthy diet, exercise and lifestyle practices), and get your logistics right (sleep routines, de-stressing behaviors, healthy home environment.) Only then can you have a fighting chance at peak performance.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-get-over-yourself-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Wendy blows into the SoCal Get Over Yourself studios (aka my old childhood bedroom)  and leaves a vapor trail! What a wild and fast moving show, with plenty of asides, profanity, Borat references, and Brad rapping to punctuate the conversation. Dr. Wendy Walsh is a Psychology Professor, an Award winning television Journalist, a radio host and a brand ambassador. As a Silence Breaker, she was named one of Time Magazine’s Persons of the Year. Her voice helped pave the way for the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements.   We start off covering the fascinating story of how she called out Bill O’Reilly for harassment, a critical step in exposing his long-standing and long covered up pattern of harassment behavior that led to his downfall. Previous victims had been paid off to the tune of millions of dollars before Wendy bravely stepped up and told the story of how her Fox appearances magically dried up after she rebuffed O’Reilly’s cheesy advances at a business dinner. Wendy gives big credit to Mercedes Benz for taking the extraordinary step of yanking their advertising from Bill’s show upon the breaking of Wendy’s story, which led to dozens of other advertisers pulling the plug.   The conversation proceeds into Wendy’s main area of distinction and expertise: evolutionary psychology and Attachment Theory—why we bond with romantic partners and the complex interplay between our hard-wired genetic drives and the influence of culture and civilization. Wendy explains why we engage in repeated relationship patterns that are suboptimal, and the idea that we really can change with the right approach. She talks about the complex interplay between our hardwired genetic drives and desires and the influence of civilization and modern culture. We are in wild times when it comes to romantic partnerships, because culture is changing so quickly and the long-standing currencies and exchanges that framed partnerships and marriages no longer apply.   Hang on for a wild ride, because Wendy is definitely high energy with a high spice factor. We will learn the top three things men, and women, look for in a prospective partner, and how we must navigate these hard-wired drives in the modern dating scene.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-get-over-yourself-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Enjoy some reflection inspired by my lengthy conversation with Mark Sisson. This show features extensive color commentary and outright tangents on matters relating to the big themes of Mark’s story, such as the ideals of entrepreneurism and competitive success, and how we often distort these ideas to day. Having worked closely with Mark for a decade and known him for over 30 years, I have a deep appreciation for the attitude and behavior characteristics that make him not only a successful entrepreneur but also able to actualize his branding motto of “Live Awesome.” He calls himself a stress-head at times, and admits to assorted shortcomings and imperfections, but he has a marvelous ability to take both success and failure in stride and keep pursuing his grand mission to help people live healthy, awesome lives.   In contrast to a wise, well-balanced peak performer, we seem to be living in an age characterized by social media overload, self-absorption facilitated by social media overload, extreme consumerism, and assorted highly offensive disconnects from our genetic expectations for health—hyper-connectivity, insufficient sleep, sun exposure or play time, eating crappy food, and not moving enough throughout the day. Regardless of our level of affluence, we suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out) and FOKU, too (fear of keeping up.)   Yes, Mark’s entrepreneurial story is quite inspiring, but we have perhaps gone overboard glorifying the risk takers and the solo flyers of today. The thought leaders in new media—YouTube sensations like Casey Niestat, and podcasters like Joe Rogan, Ferriss and many others, are communicating a message that might easily be misconstrued because of their rare and unique perspective. The people we are listening to are those compelled to step outside of the mainstream channels, create original content, and promote the crap out of their message until it catches on. They can’t help communicate from their own point of view, and that’s where their greatest value and beauty are found. However, it’s important to appreciate how their values and recommended approach to life might not be a good fit for you. It’s super important to recognize this distortion in modern media—particularly the “life is perfect” aspects of social media—and have some compassion for yourself whenever you feel like your life is not cool or grand enough. With a healthy perspective, you can honor your own basic nature and calling for whatever kind of life feels most comfortable to you. Stay true to your own path, and you will protect yourself the excess of blather and positive energy and self-glorification and narcissism that prevents you from focusing sufficiently execution, patience, and paying your dues the old fashioned way.   Alert to the prevailing cultural phenomenons of helicopter parents and entitled millennials! Reflect when Mark observes during the show on the value of investing in yourself, and how there is a shortage today of skilled laborers—perhaps because the millennials don’t want to engage in hard physical labor. You can invest $4k in welding school apprentice training and go make a six-figure income!   Reflecting on all the twists and turns and detours and dead ends in Mark’s journey, it’s likely that the Mark Sisson coming of age today woulda become a doctor. That’s just fine, but it turns out that Mark’s destiny was to save 10 million people from needing a doctor, and the steady decline into old age and extensive medical care, by making lifestyle changes that optimize gene expression. Seriously. Look at MDA success stories and the explosive popularity of the ancestral health movement that was fringe and highly criticized at the outset, but has now gained mainstream acceptance. Yes, Mark has had a mission statement of “influencing 10 million people” for over a decade. Recently, I noticed someone in the health space had repurposed it with a mission to affect 100 million lives!   This example (sorry I can’t remember who it was, but all power to them for their ambitions) is exactly what I’m talkin’ about! Too much hype and blather and not enough focus on execution, appreciating the process, and paying one's dues. Mark’s once preposterous statement is now emerging as a reality, what with Primal Kitchen products in 9,000 stores and total book sales in the millions of units. Besides, Mark has published a post every day for 12 years in support of actualizing his mission statement.   Indeed, there backlash to this today’s frenzied ethos of “believe in yourself, think positive, dream big, conquer the world.” Most visible is the modern cultural trend of helicopter parenting and entitled millennials. We seem to want to force the destiny of our golden children today—make every kid valedictorian (impossible, but at a recent high school graduation I noticed 13 of them) or every a superstar athlete with an NCAA division 1 scholarship handed to them. It’s become so ridiculous today that high school sports now resemble college sports of past generations, and college sports represent professional sports of the past. In the high school scene, you have kids routinely holding back a grade for non-academic reasons, the better to mature physically and dominate in competition.   Two ridiculous examples out emerge out of sports powerhouse Mater Dei HS in Santa Ana, CA. A point guard and top student held back two years to star on the court and gain a coveted Ivy League student-athlete opportunity. Current USC quarterback JT Daniels repeating 9th grade, becoming one of the greatest high school quarterbacks in California history, then skipping his senior to jump over to USC and earn the starting spot as a freshman. They usually call athletes who have not redshirted “true freshmen” but not much about this story rings true or morally acceptable.   We also have the many disturbing high profile examples of peak performers who become incredibly poorly adjusted to normal life, most spectacularly Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong. What’s great is to see both of these dudes, now in their 40s, work hard to learn and grow from their flameouts and present more mature and well-adjusted public personas in recent years. So if you are young and ambitious, or a parent of people young and ambitious, or someone of any age wondering if you can or should be more than you are, let's take a deep breath, take a cold plunge and get over ourselves for a moment. Maybe it’s highly overrated to be a go getting hustler super performer as glorified today in a 24/7 manner by hyperconnectivity and social media? Maybe it’s healthier to honor your basic nature, strive to be a kind, happy, well-adjusted person who finds a comfortable fit into society, makes a positive contribution, but doesn’t necessarily have to win awards or become famous. Recall the Martin Luther King (remember him?) message to the street-sweepers of the world: “If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as a Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, 'Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.’ " Back to the Sisson show, Mark’s inspiration as a scrawny high school sophomore from Maine to apply to the most badass prep school in the land was simply an unfiltered, unregulated, uncompromising answering of his calling and his destiny. You can’t will anyone into this type of disposition and mindset. Certainly not a young person, and most likely not that manager on your team who is underperforming and doesn’t seem to harbor that competitive fire that you wish for him or her. Add to this insight the many detours on Mark’s journey, where he seemingly had it made but hopped off the train to stay true to his calling: bailing on med school opportunity to do crazy stuff like run marathons and ironman triathlons and build refrigerated salad bars; bailing on a lucrative job while feeding a young family to take massive risk and go it alone; and also the recent occasion where he stretched himself too thin and embarked on a disastrous restaurant venture that he is still unwinding. And while we see Mark as a huge success and living the awesome dream life, it’s important to acknowledge that there is an extreme negotiation and price to pay if you are gonna blaze a big trail. The complexity and intensity of Mark’s career life would make most people crack. Recall how Elon Musk told Joe Rogan point blank: “You would not want to trade places with me.” Ditto for Mark. Get this - he thinks he is, “fairly risk averse.” Obviously, his insight comes from his unique point of view, because this guy has been swinging for the fences, buoyed by one from a list of life changing insights he has dispensed to me over the years: “All you need is one home run.” Enjoy the Breather show and be sure to listen to the full-length Ultimate Mark Sisson Interview!Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-get-over-yourself-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Get to know Mark, his background, and his entrepreneurial spirit like never before! Mark Sisson has been a great friend and mentor of mine for 30 years. As one of the founding fathers of the primal/paleo/keto/ancestral health movement, Mark has probably been on a couple hundred podcasts, including perhaps a dozen of our own for Primal Blueprint and Primal Endurance shows (listen to the very first Primal Blueprint podcast, published December 30, 2013, where he talks about the dangers of chronic cardio.) Since you can grab a lotta content on healthy eating and primal living from Mark with a push of button, we aspired to do something special with this conversation. Enjoy this lengthy and intimate conversation where Mark covers seldom heard life journey material starting from childhood and continuing to his present day role as a prominent health expert and entrepreneur. We rolled for a couple hours, and the end product is now destined to be archived for eternity in the Library of Congress as The Ultimate Mark Sisson Interview.   If you know all about Mark as a longtime follower, this interview will give you a more complete picture than what’s offered by his public image. Even I was surprised to hear some of the details about his early years! If you’ve never heard of this blond guy, you will enjoy a fascinating account of the wild and wacky journey of a born entrepreneur and intense competitor. You will reflect on the importance of trusting your gut, never giving up on your dreams, taking action rather than just talking a good game, and honoring your basic nature (whether you’re risk averse or are repeatedly called to grand ambitions.)   The show begins with a check-in about Mark’s surprise 2018 relocation from Malibu to Miami. He loves the warm water and the awesome restaurants, and the Ultimate Frisbee games are just as hard-core as in Malibu! Then we take the narrative back to his childhood in a small fishing village in Maine. A fascinating insight about the genetics and disposition of a born entrepreneur prevails throughout the conversation. From day one, this guy has shown industriousness, vision, and a fearless competitive drive that has led him to pursue ambitious goals, keep going when others might give up, and change direction on a dime when most would stay the course on the comfortable beaten path.   As a pre-teen, Mark harbored a desire to “participate in the economy,” so he built a thriving lawn mowing business in the summer. Feeling restless midway through high school, Mark took the initiative to apply to the prestigious Philips-Exeter Academy prep school in Exeter, NH. Yes, this place is a legit, boasting a billion dollar endowment and an alumni list featuring 19 US Senators, a US President (Pierce), a Mark Zuckerberg face, Dan Brown of DaVinci Code fame, and Mark Sisson of Primal Kitchen fame.   While Mark showed some early promise as a big fish distance runner in the small pond of Maine, he experienced a breakthrough in confidence and performance after an epic Outward Bound summer experience on an island off the coast of Maine. He excelled at Philips-Exeter in academics and athletics and was off to Williams College (often ranked as the #1 liberal arts school in the nation) to pursue his dream of becoming a physician. You’ll start to notice a recurring theme in the story: numerous pivots and redirections from even the best-laid plans. Mark’s medical school ambitions were detoured by a random knock on the door of his dorm room by a nostalgic Williams alum who had occupied the same room. The alum was so amazed by what he saw inside he challenged Mark on the spot to second-guess med school and pursue other passions. No, it was not a jacuzzi and live band party setup that Rodney Dangerfield created in the movie Back To School…I guess you will have to listen to the show to discover the details.   Indeed, Mark’s entrepreneur gene was in full bloom even in college. He became such a skilled house painter that he was making what most would consider an excellent annual salary in a few summer months of wielding a mean paintbrush. Forget scaffolding, just race up and down a ladder all day like a marathon runner, and paint with the dexterity of a gymnast, to finish houses in a fraction of the time a professional crew could.   With med school plans on hold, Mark headed out to Northern California to pursue his dream of qualifying for the US Olympic trials in the marathon. He had some fantastic success as an endurance athlete, running a 2:18 marathon (5th in the national championships), but overuse injuries ended his career before he could even participate in the 1980 Olympic trials. Mark had a fabulous swan song as an elite athlete when he moved over to the sport of triathlon. With running injuries managed on account of swimming and cycling sharing the training load, Mark gained competency quickly and placed 4th in the Hawaii Ironman world championships in 1982. Since Mark’s endurance career predated the days where elite athletes could earn a decent living, he was hustling all the while in the background. He operated a thriving frozen yogurt shop in Palo Alto, CA, custom-built a restaurant featuring the world’s first refrigerated salad bar, and did more house painting and construction work.   In the mid-80’s, Mark chased a new dream, heading to Los Angeles in hopes of becoming a sportscaster. This entailed immersion into the model slash actor slash personal trainer scene in LA, and Mark soon emerged as a top trainer and health expert. Mark and I first met back in 1988. There was a newly-formed team of professional triathletes, and Mark was enlisted to coach us. His methods were revolutionary at the time, when he argued for athletes to avoid the chronic training patterns that led to breakdown, burnout, illness and injury. Instead, he told us take it easy at many workouts and focus on the occasional “breakthrough” workout where you could push yourself enough to break through to a higher fitness level.   Mark was ahead of his time with these insights, as the prevailing approach to endurance training was to grind out as many miles as possible and hope to avoid injury or breakdown. Mark’s own breakdown experience as a marathoner had prompted his awakening to a more sensible way of training. Mark would prove the value of his approach by occasionally jumping into high profile races or competitive workouts and hanging with professional level athletes, despite training minimally while pursuing a full time career as a personal trainer and nutrition consultant.     Mark also did consulting work to design nutritional supplements for various companies, and became the central figure in the first anti-doping organizational efforts in triathlon. In 1990, Mark was invited to serve as Executive Director of the national triathlon federation out in Colorado Springs, CO. After a few years of growing the sport wildly, Mark returned to LA to embark upon a lucrative career in the nutritional supplement world.   Yes, here as Mark humming along, making a great living and raising two young children with his wife Carrie. Alas, the entrepreneurial gene switched on again, and Mark decided to leave his cush position to plunge into debt and uncertainty, strike out on his own, and develop the world’s most comprehensive multivitamin, mineral, antioxidant, anti-stress supplement formula, aptly named Damage Control Master Formula. The venture became an immediate success, and Mark quickly ascended into the role of vitamin king living at the top of the hill in Malibu. Yes, this operation was dialed, with only a handful of employees and millions in revenue, mostly from a single product with a high profit margin. This gave Mark plenty of time to work on his golf game, to no avail. His grain-based diet causing hand arthritis was a worthy excuse. Seriously, but we digress…   Mark “fed the beast” (his term, not mine. Love it!) by hopping on a plane to Dallas every two weeks to tape a couple talk shows that were broadcast across the Bible belt to viewers whom apparently desperately needed the world’s best vitamin by “calling now” to the number on the TV screen. Alas, the infomercial era ended with a big giant thud. With the beast starting to get hungry, Mark blew a million bucks trying to keep the dream alive by producing dozens of episodes of his own TV show, which he quickly pulled the plug on before most of them ever aired (wouldn’t you love to see these now on YouTube?).   At this point, now 2006, Mark turned his attention to something called blogging. The launch of MarksDailyApple.com was inauspicious. After a year of devoted effort and a six-figure investment in the team and infrastructure, MarksDailyApple.com was pulling in a whopping 1,000 readers a day. Staying true to his values and vision despite the stress and anxiety of declining sales, Mark and his team stayed the course, cranking out great content without polluting the message with supplement marketing.   Over time, Marks Daily Apple readership continued to grow exponentially. The publication of The Primal Blueprint in 2009 was another watershed moment, as the reception was excellent and served as a catalyst for the overall explosion of the primal/paleo/ancestral health movement. Funny now, but Mark was turned down flat by many big time New York publishers when he pitched The Primal Blueprint. The prevailing rejection theme was that Mark was not an MD so he lacked the necessary credibility. True to form, Mark decided to self-publish and sell the book out of the Malibu warehouse—about as far away as you can get from the big time publishers on Madison Avenue! Indeed, once upon a time you could only find The Primal Blueprint for sale at Primal Blueprint.com.   As we reach the final decade up to present day, Mark covers the crazy explosive growth of his enterprise, and the consequent challenges and complexities this brought. You will be inspired by his well-placed enthusiasm and resolve to stay true to his vision despite challenges. #ListentotheSisson carefully and notice the difference between someone spewing shallow positive affirmations versus someone who faces the day with a healthy but realistic competitive intensity, a willingness to fail and grow stronger accordingly, and an emphasis on leading a healthy, balanced lifestyle. It is here, with his “Live Awesome” ethos, that Mark distinguishes himself from many narrowly-focused peak performers who succeed on a material level but neglect health, fitness, family life, or being kind in the process. While we didn’t discuss this in the show, “pivot” is Mark’s favorite word to describe the necessary skills and disposition to succeed in a competitive environment and be happy in general life. You have to keep moving and growing as a person, adjust to uncertainty and setbacks without falling apart, and generally becoming skilled at pivoting to take what life gives you in good spirit. Enjoy the Ultimate Mark Sisson Interview and stay tuned for a follow up Breather show called Deconstructing The “Listen To The Sisson” Show.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-get-over-yourself-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Perhaps you saw the headline stories about some Harvard professor calling out coconut oil as “pure poison?” Her ridiculous lecture sound bites were seized upon by the modern media machine and turned into a salacious international news story. Predictably, folks in the primal/paleo community quickly weighed in to discredit her irresponsible comments, which are remnants from the decades of flawed conventional wisdom that issued a blanket condemnation of saturated fat as the proximate cause of heart disease. MarksDailyApple.com always does a great job providing a thoughtful perspective with numerous links to respected science when the debate of the day arises. Here’s Mark’s take on the coconut oil issue. Perhaps you’re old enough to remember the aggressive and highly successful movement in the early 1970s to transition Americans from butter to margarine? Yes, refined high polyunsaturated vegetable oils, now acknowledged by respected science to be directly responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths from heart disease and cancer each year, were highly touted by the pillars of conventional wisdom for decades. This sad story is a fascinating example of what happens when special interests intersect with government and educational bureaucracy heavily invested in the status quo (in assorted ways, including ego, tenure, and profit interests), and the individual consumer ends up royally screwed. It’s still confusing to process today’s passionate and disparate opinions about diet. Today we have the seemingly opposing camps of the plant based folks versus the primal/paleo/keto folks. I prefer to focus on the common ground, such as eating a colorful, nutrient dense diet with abundant intake of vegetables. No one argues with that! If you decide not to eat some of the most nutrient dense foods on the planet (meat, fish, fowl, eggs) in favor of a commitment to vegetarian or veganism, this may work well for you with a careful approach to ensure you get the nutrients you need. Similarly, if you decide to adhere to ancestral eating patterns and end up with most of you calories from fat and comparatively minimal carbohydrate intake, there is great scientific and anecdotal evidence that you can thrive, drop excess body fat, and reduce disease risk factors. One thing is for sure: we have enough sensationalism, controversy and irresponsible cultural influencers out there to proclaim that enough is enough. This coconut oil story is a good example of bullshit of the modern media machine and entrenched conventional wisdom spouters creating massive damage to humans interested in eating and living healthy. Hence, I am compelled to squeeze this show into the lineup ASAP and go off! Hopefully, you will obtain a basic education and fresh perspective on the matter of consuming a healthy, natural product like coconut oil in your diet, and the general rationale for an ancestral style eating pattern. Here’s my starting point: How can something that’s easily and naturally extracted from an edible plant, something that humans have been eating for thousands of years, be a “poison”?Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-get-over-yourself-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This show is an interesting compare and contrast to my earlier breather show about the Japanese men’s World Cup soccer team, and the evolved competitive spirit of doryoku (“honor in the effort”) that is a central element of Japanese sports culture. In America, we have the win at all cost ideal that can often run amok and reveal as disgraceful behavior by our champion athletes. Tennis players have long been known for on-court tantrums. Granted, it’s a tough environment with the 1:1 nature of the battle and the fans breathing down your neck. John McEnroe, king of tantrums, revealed that his antics help him turn up his competitive intensity and killer instinct in matches. Don’t try this at home! At the recent US Open Tennis Championship female final, tennis legend Serena Williams came unglued and melted down en route to her loss to a young underdog named Naomi Osaka. Osaka represents Japan but hails from New York. I criticize Serena for disgracing the sport and also have some harsh words for the notoriously rowdy US Open tennis fans (event is always held in Flushing Meadow, NY). They booed during the awards ceremony, ostensibly in support of Serena’s disappointment with the match umpire. The whole scene was a disgrace to the sport of tennis and disrespectful to the great performance of Osaka. Serena does get some credit for trying to reign things in, urging the crowd to stop booing during the awards ceremony and graciously congratulating Osaka. But none of this would have happened had she been able to control her competitive emotions a bit during the match. Billie Jean King, great champion of gender equality notwithstanding, weigh’s in with breezy and poorly timed commentary that taints what she stands for. Yes, Billie Jean and Serena make a good point that male players seem to get away with more without sanction, but when Billie Jean makes a scene, she should remember Michael Jackson’s strong advice, and remember to always think twice (“don’t think twice, do think twice!”) At least I end on a high note, celebrating the composure and grace displayed by Osaka during the awards ceremony, where she bowed to Serena and thanked her for the opportunity to play the match. Reminds me of the Japanese soccer team. It’s great to see a young player with a healthy competitive mindset become a champion! Maybe hyper-competitive, over-pressurized youth sports coaches and parents can take notice, get over themselves, and focus on the honor in the effort.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-get-over-yourself-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Relax, retrain, forgive, repeat! Dr. Goldstein’s show is going to stop us distracted, multitasking, text binging, social media addicted modern humans in our tracks and rock our world! We all know the dangers and drawbacks of hyper-connectivity and distractibility, and our diminishing focus and mindfulness in hectic modern life, but we seem to be collectively shrugging our shoulders, complaining a bit here and there, and carrying on, glued to our devices. My visit with Dr. Goldstein had a deep impact on me, because he explained beautifully how our repeated use of technology gets integrated into habit. We have engaged in “intentional practice and repeated it until it becomes automatic--until it becomes habit.”   We often talk about habit-forming in a positive context. Hey, I love my morning chest freezer cold plunge—listen to my podcast on that topic! We are all good at fastening seat belts and brushing our teeth each day. But what about undesirable, stress-producing behaviors that have become habits to our detriment? We know that humans are wired to respond with a dopamine burst to novel stimulation in our environment; in primal times it was a rustling in the bushes, today it’s the ding of text message. Consequently, a couple years ago, I bravely and proudly turned off all notifications and text message sounds on my phone. Oh yeah, but how many times do I reach for my phone over the course of a day—to see if I have any text messages, because my text messages don’t beep? OUCH! It’s hard to talk our way out of the negative aspects of technology.   I tried when I explained how I love my iPhone because I’m no longer bored when standing in line at the bank. Now I can be productive. Dr. Goldstein explains that he too loves technology and it can improve our lives in many ways, but we have to be mindful and disciplined in our use of technology. Yes, I know how importance your text messages and emails are, and obviously so do your friends who endure repeated distractions during live interactions in favor of you attending to your dings and buzzes.   We acknowledge that hyper-connectivity makes us tense and stressful, but have difficulty transforming to a new way of being because of the powerful force of habits. Dr. Goldstein explains how we can take control and experience more happiness and peace in daily life. First, actively relax when you notice the routine daily events that cause your body to body tense up (traffic, social media binges, contentious conversations). Second, retrain your attention away from multitasking or feelings of anxiety and into a relaxed state of present awareness. Third, when you fall off track and succumb to the distractions of modern life, forgive yourself, and invite yourself to begin your practice anew the next day or the next minute. Finally, repeat steps 1-3 for the rest of your life. Habit retraining requires repetition and endurance.   Dr. Goldstein has written books like Uncovering Happiness, The NOW Effect, Mindfulness Meditation, MSBR Every Day stands for (mindfulness based stress reduction). He operates the Center for Mindful Living in Los Angeles with his wife Stefanie. They offer an awesome six-month intensive online Course in Mindful Living with expert guidance and group support. Slow down, relax, and listen carefully to this show.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-get-over-yourself-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I welcome Mia Moore to the studio for her first show, appropriate being that the Get Over Yourself Northern California studios are located in her house! (SoCal studios are at my mom and dad’s in case you are curious). Mia is seen by many, or at least and perhaps most importantly by Brad, as an ideal relationship partner. Hence we aspire to have her as a recurring guest to talk about healthy relationship dynamics and strategies. In the future, we will zero in on specific topics like show #2’s “Cheerleader Show”, or discuss popular relationship theories (The Four Agreements, Mars and Venus, John Gottman’s work, Kris Gage’s articles on Medium.com). This conversation moved quickly through many topics that will make great centerpiece discussions for future shows. The central theme of the Mia Moore shows was presented, which is that we might want to second-guess our baseline beliefs about relationships. We see so much struggle, stress and dysfunction in romantic partnerships that we become socialized to believe that relationships are mainly about hard work, compromise of beliefs, values, and preferences, frustration, heartache, and extra stress, with glimpses of bliss thrown in now and then. These realities pair with the routine venting and commiserating sessions with the boys at bowling league or the girls at book club.  Mia talks about how life experience, including both positive and negative aspects of past relationships, can frame one’s perspective and stimulate personal growth for more happiness, peace, and fulfillment in future relationships. Mia suggests that those who complain about relationship imperfections are advised to show up at a singles meetup or engage with an Internet dating service to gain a fresh perspective and perhaps experience more gratitude for what they got at home. Mia suggests that the worst mistake parents make is prioritizing kids before the nurturing of a loving partnership. In the age of helicopter parenting in general, kids come to believe they are at the center of the universe, and likely will bring these unhealthy perspectives into future love relationships of their own. Most importantly, Mia has adopted a lifestyle motto of, “don’t sweat the small stuff,” which helps her navigate potentially contentious situations with work, family, friends, and our partnership with great patience and peace. Recall the popular book title and subtitle, “Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff…and it’s all small stuff.” That said, Mia observes that small stuff is relative. If chronic lateness is seen as trivial by one but highly offensive by another, these people might not be poised for a healthy relationship because of such a fundamental difference in values and beliefs. The show is not merely warm fuzzy fun with a kudo kounter. We stay unplugged and authentic without script, notes or agenda. At one point, Mia calls me out for getting “butt hurt” when random interruptions occur (e.g., a GPS navigation voice) while I am busy blabbing away on the important topic of the day. Mia also calls B.S. on my emphasizing the concept of “drawing boundaries” as a relationship strategy. This gets me (and maybe you) to rethink a basic premise: should we really have to draw our boundaries again and again in relationship? Could we instead express our needs and preferences and expect that partners respect our boundaries pretty well? So what about stuff like explosive arguments and emotionally-charged communication? Kris Gage on the Medium says “emotional control/emotional self-stability” is the mandatory top priority for a healthy relationship. Gage argues persuasively that everything else flows from this starting point; otherwise the relationship is doomed. Mia draws a critical distinction between “venting” (about a tough day at work or challenges with family members or friends), and “kicking the dog” with emotionally abusive communication. It seems people often get a free pass here; that they are allowed to figuratively kick the dog, say sorry, and carry on with dysfunctional communication dynamics due to their stressful lifestyle circumstances wearing down their emotional stability. How about we call BS on that?! Mia and I strive to adhere to a relationship ideal that feedback of any form can always be dispensed with loving kindness. Mia suggests going to therapy to discern the difference between healthy venting and dysfunctional venting. She reflects on some of her past relationship dynamics that “weren’t pretty,” and how she one day resolved to never again accept or engage in yelling as a relationship dynamic. Mia explains that when someone is venting, it’s a great idea to just listen and validate instead of the common knee-jerk reaction to dispense advice (or worse, dispense critical feedback and veiled judgment). Deepak Chopra reminds us that all of us want “attention and acceptance as we are.” John Gray, author of Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus, reminds us that men are naturally wired to solve problems, while women are wired for connection. So if a woman is venting to a man, the man might resolve to listen and validate instead of solve the problem for her. I believe the Mars and Venus corollary to that is men need “cave time” instead of nagging when they are emotionally disturbed, and that they will eventually return to with a fresh perspective accordingly. We will have to ask John Gray when Mia and I get him on for a show. Teeing up an important theme for future shows, is a natural match in attitude/behavior/life disposition a better idea than the “opposites attract” concept where people think disparate dispositions and values have a complementary effect? Mia suggests we should sort through this stuff in our youth and not get married until age 30! Alas, when we get older, we often get set in our ways and experience more mismatches and less inclination to compromise relationship goals and ideals. This stuff must be considered in negotiating agreeable circumstances, or perhaps walking away from assorted relationship “dealbreakers” (another future show theme.) I ask Mia how she maintains her perpetual smile and sunny disposition. She claims she was born that way, with the glass half full. I ask if her emotional control and discerning communication skills were honed in her decades of existence in a large bureaucratic work environment. Not really, says Mia, reminding us that there are plenty of pop-offs in the workplace! Mia also explains that being in a healthy partnership helps her maintain her sensitive and effective communication skills. The show gets a little spicy when Mia suggests that taking matters into the bedroom can help assuage routine day-to-day relationship challenges and build a stronger baseline. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-get-over-yourself-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I complain about the trend of overused, over-glorified peak performance tips and tricks. How about this one: "Making your bed could change your life and increase productivity 10x!" We get the spirit of the idea—that doing proactive stuff builds focus and discipline. Do we really need to exaggerate it to the level of a life-changing habit? Además, other research suggests that making your bed can trap microbes and pollutants all day, which is why many European cultures frequently leave the covers off all day to let the bed breathe. Unfortunately, Make Bed, Trap Farts might not be a good title for a bestseller. Speaking of 10x, let’s maybe tone down the awesomeness of many other routine health and productivity practices are. Let’s save 10x for things that are really 10x, if there is any such thing? If so, you are probably pretty sorry ass to begin with, you know? Conversely, elite athletes in a variety of sports regularly express the goal of getting incrementally better each day. Athletes generally don’t traffic in exaggerations, because they know that blather doesn’t get them very far in the competitive arena. Granted, I have been going off lately on my beloved chest freezer cold plunge, how it really does improve confidence and focus, because I have trained my brain to make the plunge an automatic behavior—a habit—with no will power or second guessing involved; how being submerged in ice water and counting out 20 slow, deep diaphragmatic breaths is a legit meditation session, and so on. However, I do indeed exit the tub after 6-7 minutes, dry off, and have to go make something of my day afterward. There is no magic here. For example, we’re told by the hippest among us that meditation is the key to being an evolved person, but if you feel inferior in this area, realize that meditation can happen any time, any place—including while sweeping the driveway or cold plunging! Dan Millman, author of Way of the Peaceful Warrior, one of my all-time favorite books, sets us straight when he says, “Actions define our lives; don’t get too caught up in thinking….Just do it!”Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-get-over-yourself-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.