Today we welcome Sonja Lyubomirsky who is a distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Riverside. Originally from Russia, she received her A.B., summa cum laude, from Harvard University and her Ph.D. in Social/Personality Psychology from Stanford University. Her research has been featured in hundreds of magazines, newspapers, shows and documentaries in North America, South America, Asia, Australia, and Europe. Dr. Lyubomirsky’s best-selling books The How of Happiness and The Myths of Happiness have been published and translated in over 16 countries.In this episode, I talk to Sonja Lyubomirsky about happiness. Across all of her research, Dr. Lyubomirsky has found that connection is what makes people happy. So then, how do we form high-quality connections? Dr. Lyubomirsky gives us insight on how to use kindness, reciprocity, and gratitude to maintain and strengthen our relationships. We also touch on the topics of psychedelics, interpersonal chemistry, and social media.Website: drsonja.netTwitter: @slyubomirsky Topics01:38 Sonja’s interest in happiness research03:56 The Happiness Pie Chart07:55 The Set-point Theory of Happiness10:42 Connection is the key to happiness15:19 Are extroverts happier? 20:12 Psychedelic social psychology25:25 The Happiness Boomerang Effect29:58 What makes for great conversation?34:16 High-quality connections36:47 How to create interpersonal chemistry42:44 Can you count too many blessings?45:27 Apps that make us happy and unhappy 51:39 Kindness boosts immunitySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we welcome Martha Beck, who is a New York Times bestselling author, life coach, and speaker. She holds three Harvard degrees in social science. Oprah Winfrey has called her “one of the smartest women I know.” Martha is a passionate and engaging teacher, known for her unique combination of science, humor, and spirituality. Her newest book is called The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self.In this episode, I talk to Martha Beck about integrity. According to her, we are all born true to ourselves, with our integrity intact. But then we lose sight of who we are because we try so hard to fit into our society. Martha shares advice on how to live authentically in a culture that doesn't necessarily share the same values as you. We also touch on the topics of neurodiversity, emotions, coaching, and transcendence.Website: marthabeck.comTwitter: @TheMarthaBeck Topics02:38 Martha’s interest in coaching04:17 Martha’s Harvard degrees06:55 Science and eastern philosophy13:31 Writing for Oprah’s magazine15:13 Regaining our wildness20:19 The Way of Integrity25:08 Duplicity is people pleasing31:32 Inspiration from Dante’s Divine Comedy34:55 Enlightenment through surrender39:25 Personal effectiveness47:11 Suffering is a guidance mechanism 52:27 How Martha left the LDS Mormon Church56:27 Hold true to your integritySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we welcome Dr. Laurie Santos, psychology professor and Head of Silliman College at Yale University. Her course, “Psychology and the Good Life,”is Yale’s most popular course in over 300 years and has been adapted into a free Coursera program that has been taken by over 3.3 million people to date. Dr. Santos is a winner of numerous awards both for her science and teaching from institutions such as Yale and the American Psychological Association. She is also the podcast host of The Happiness Lab.In this episode, I talk to Dr. Laurie Santos about happiness. People are unhappy not for lack of trying, but it’s because they’re applying ineffective strategies. Dr. Santos identifies some of the cognitive biases that can hinder our happiness. There is no magical antidote to our problems, but there are ways to boost well-being in small but significant ways. We also discuss resilience, social justice and mindfulness.Website: drlauriesantos.comTwitter: @lauriesantos Topics03:04 Laurie’s interest in well-being06:54 Our expectations about happiness 09:44 Defining and measuring happiness13:59 Predictors of resilience 15:43 Laurie’s happiness score17:39 “Self-care is a political act”22:39 The Feel Good, Do Good Effect24:11 The role of culture, environment, genes27:55 Contributions to the science of happiness32:13 The impact of Laurie’s research35:19 Cognitive biases that influence happiness38:16 Do mindfulness interventions work?44:37 The Happiness Lab’s new seasonSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In celebration of our first year anniversary with Stitcher, we’re re-releasing one of our favorite episodes from the past year with Esther Perel.Esther Perel is a psychotherapist and a New York Times bestselling author, recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she hones a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her best-selling books Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs have been translated into nearly 30 languages. Esther is also an executive producer and host of the popular podcast Where Should We Begin? and How’s Work? Her latest project is Where Should We Begin − A Game of Stories with Esther Perel. In this episode, I talk to renowned psychotherapist and author Esther Perel about love and relationships. We tackle the true essence of the words “eros” and “freedom”. Esther offers her perspective on marriage and affairs, getting to the root cause of why people cheat. We also touch on the topics of soulmates, masculinity, how to keep passion alive during a global pandemic, and Esther’s practice as a cross-cultural therapist. Website: www.estherperel.comInstagram: @estherperelofficial Topics02:02 Adapting to the COVID-19 pandemic04:33 Social connection during the pandemic 10:04 “The erotic is the antidote to death”17:02 True freedom in relationships22:05 Soulmates don’t exist 26:38 Why people in happy marriages cheat29:46 Can an affair be good for a marriage?34:54 Where Should We Begin?39:00 Redefining marriage, fidelity, and sexuality46:25 Esther’s cross-cultural approach to therapy49:31 Esther’s interest in cultural transitions, identity, and relationships54:56 The masculine obsession with power 01:00:08 The Great AdaptationSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we welcome Dr. Jim Fadiman. Jim is a psychologist, writer, and lecturer who has been pioneering psychedelic research since the 1960s. He is recognized as “America’s wisest and most respected authority on psychedelics and their use.” Jim received his bachelor and doctorate degrees from Harvard and Stanford respectively. Apart from psychedelics, he has also been involved in researching healthy multiplicity for over 20 years. His newest book with Jordan Gruber is called Your Symphony of Selves: Discover and Understand More of Who We Are.In this episode, I talk to Dr. Jim Fadiman about multiple selves. The DSM says that having multiple personalities is a disorder, but Dr. Fadiman challenges this notion. In fact, he believes that the opposite is true: the multiplicity of selves is both normal and healthy. It’s not about having one “super self”, but unifying the different parts of who we are. We also discuss psychedelics, its effects on mental health, and how Abraham Maslow would have viewed these mind-altering substances.Website: jamesfadiman.comTwitter: @jfadiman Topics04:54 Modern microdosing06:49 Microdosing for physical and mental health 10:00 Healthy vs pathological multiplicity14:14 What would Maslow think of psychedelics?23:24 No single self 26:42 Taking responsibility for all yourselves30:13 Harmonizing selves34:28 Is it possible to create a super self?37:58 All your parts are you42:07 Unified self is healthy 44:08 Being in the right mind at the right time51:17 Practice selves workSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we welcome Dr. Gabor Maté. A physician, renowned speaker, and bestselling author, Gabor is highly sought after for his expertise on addiction, stress, and childhood development. For his groundbreaking medical work and writing, he has been awarded the Order of Canada, his country’s highest civilian distinction. He is also a co-developer of Compassionate Inquiry, a therapeutic approach for deep healing and transformation. His newest book is called The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture.In this episode, I talk to Gabor Maté about The Myth of Normal. Healthcare in Western societies tend to focus on physical health, without accounting for an individual’s lived experience. The tension between authenticity and attachment and the pressures of a capitalist culture puts undue stress on our minds and bodies. Dr. Maté invites us to rethink trauma and disease, by emphasizing holistic well-being and the role of agency. We also touch on the topics of early childhood, epigenetics, and self-improvement. Website: drgabormate.comTwitter: @drgabormate Topics02:36 The Myth of Normal06:14 Maslow’s Metagrumbles10:25 From individual to global well-being13:25 Authenticity vs attachment20:48 No separation of psyche and soma28:05 Trauma is what happens inside you33:34 Dr. Gabor Maté’s early childhood 37:20 Trauma denial and victimhood mentality41:05 Disease is a long term process45:21 Epigenetics and the role of environment50:24 Screening for special and gifted education52:45 Pathways to wholeness58:01 The four A’s of healing 1:06:44 Compassionate Inquiry1:10:16 Authentic satisfactionSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we welcome to the show Jordyn Feingold, resident physician in psychiatry, co-founder of the Positive Medicine Program, and co-author with me of the new book Choose Growth!Jordyn graduated from the University of Pennsylvania with her BA and Master of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP). At present, she is a psychiatry resident at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai. Jordyn is deeply involved in research, curriculum development, and advocacy work pertaining to clinician well-being, locally, nationally, and globally. Together, we wrote Choose Growth: A Workbook for Transcending Trauma, Fear, and Self-Doubt.In this episode, I talk to Jordyn Feingold about positive medicine and the importance of choosing growth. As a physician and positive psychology practitioner, Jordyn is on a mission to shift the focus of medicine from treatment to well-being. As much as our physical health can influence our mental health, the reverse is also true. She talks about the impact and practical applications of positive psychology in healthcare. We also touch on the topics of resilience, relationships, communication, growth, and transcendence.Website: positivepsychologyforphysicians.comTwitter: @jordynfeingold Topics 04:52 Positive Medicine12:08 Embodied cognition14:06 The REVAMP model of well-being18:10 Positive interventions21:39 Choose Growth28:28 Who’s in your boat?32:08 Active vs passive constructive responding35:53 High-quality connections 40:01 Jordyn as chief extrovert42:41 “Yes, and” transcendence48:34 Integrate your dark sideSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we welcome Tara Well, who is an associate professor of psychology at Barnard College of Columbia University where she has taught Personality Psychology, Health Psychology, and Psychology of Leadership for over 20 years. Her research on motivation, perception, and cognition has been funded by the National Science Foundation (NSF) and the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). She outlines the research and benefits of her meditation program in her latest book Mirror Meditation.In this episode, I talk to Tara Well about mirror meditation. What is the first thing you think of when you look in the mirror? For a lot of us, our initial instinct is to nitpick at our flaws. Using mirror meditation, Tara teaches people how to use one’s reflection to promote self-acceptance and inner knowing. The mirror can help us become kinder not just to ourselves, but to the people around us as well. We also touch on the topics of narcissism, compassion, and attachment. Website: mirrormeditation.comTwitter: @tarawell88 Topics01:36 Tara’s expertise in psychology 05:33 Mirror Meditation 12:22 Reflecting on identities14:39 Sit with yourself18:59 Unfreeze yourself21:28 Neuroscience of narcissists 26:08 Compassion for narcissists32:42 Anxious and avoidant self-attachment36:31 Be there for yourself39:20 Look at others in the eyes of love42:07 Reclaiming your projections43:28 How to see the best in others45:45 Self-talk in third person46:51 Meditation practiceSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we welcome Eric Barker, the author of The Wall Street Journal bestseller Barking Up the Wrong Tree. His book has sold over half a million copies and has been translated into 19 languages. It was even the subject of a question on “Jeopardy!” Eric is also a sought-after speaker, having given talks at MIT, the Aspen Ideas Festival, Google, the United States Military Central Command (CENTCOM), and the Olympic Training Center. His newest book is called Plays Well with Others.In this episode, I talk to Eric Barker about relationships. We tackle the misconceptions on loneliness, marriage, and body language. Eric shares practical tips that we can apply in our own relationships such as how to keep passionate love alive and how to catch liars. We also touch on the topics of communication, vulnerability, community and health. Website: bakadesuyo.comTwitter: @bakadesuyo Topics02:18 Plays Well with Others05:11 Loneliness is perception08:38 Marriage requires crazy love and work 10:57 Gottman’s Four Horsemen of Divorce15:26 Keeping passionate love alive 19:02 Emotional endings and love maps 24:28 The Scary Rule 28:14 Dunbar’s number30:49 Parasocial relationships 35:32 Body language is overrated39:04 How to catch a liar42:11 Story of connectionSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we welcome philosopher Skye Cleary. She is a lecturer at Columbia University and the City College of New York. Skye is the author of Existentialism and Romantic Love and co-editor of How to Live a Good Life. Her writing has appeared in The Paris Review, Aeon, Business Insider, TED-Ed, and The Los Angeles Review of Books, among other outlets.In 2021, she was a MacDowell Fellow and In 2017, she won the New Philosopher Writers’ Award. Her latest book is called How to Be Authentic. In this episode, I talk to Skye Cleary about Simone de Beauvoir’s life and how it has informed her existentialist philosophy. As a feminist during the forties, Simone was passionate about freedom of choice. It's not a surprise then that her definition of authenticity also revolves around self-determination. Authenticity is not about finding a true self, but rather a process of creating who we want to be. We also touch on the topics of gender, power, social justice, narcissism, and fulfillment.Website: skyecleary.comTwitter: @Skye_Cleary Topics01:54 French existentialist philosophy04:05 “One is not born, but rather becomes, woman”09:58 Creating our essence12:46 Transcending our impulses18:01 Creative rebellion22:19 Skye’s Critique of Simone de Beauvoir24:03 Authenticity is responsible freedom27:33 Power and freedom32:00 Skye’s background in philosophy33:15 Intersubjectivity: the foundation of ethical relations34:48 Inauthenticity, social media, narcissism38:37 Windows of freedom, genetics, motherhood41:38 Fulfillment is embracing life See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.