Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved One's Recovery from Addiction & Mental Illness

Oy, the holidays. This time of year can be a time full of triggers, for our Loved One with Substance Use Disorder, but also for their family members. It's also a time where we can get disconcerting questions about our how our Loved Ones have been doing. And so many of us have that "Hallmark holiday" somewhere in our minds, which can keep our expectations unrealistic.Three family members join Kayla to share wisdom and experiences around the holidays. They talk about what is triggering and for whom, and explore creating new traditions in lieu of old ones. Maintaining connections—with boundaries and without enmeshment—is an important part of the work. When ties are blurry, it's harmful to your Loved One. It can make them feel guilt and shame about what they're doing to you. One of the first aspects of CRAFT work is addressing separation and connection.Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted Loved One. They are all members of Allies in Recovery⁠ , an online platform providing training, guidance, support and resources for families ready to shift the dynamic with their Loved One struggling with substance use.With grace, compassion, humility and deep generosity, the Families Speak team shares openly with Coming Up for Air listeners. We can thus benefit from their experience, their process, and the work they do with group facilitator and psychotherapist, Kayla Solomon.Visit Allies in Recovery to learn about our membership options, read our blog posts, meet our team, and much more!

Recovery is progress, not perfection, and it doesn’t look the same for everyone. As the family of a Loved One with substance use disorder (SUD), it can be tempting to impose our own expectations onto our Loved One. But as we ease up on expectations, we're taking pressure off our Loved One, allowing them space to try things and see how it goes. Sometimes mistakes can become the best learning moments. The Allies in Recovery stance we teach families is an invitation to: shift our expectations, question our own perceptions of what we're observing, pay more attention to what's positive, and acknowledge it, while becoming more keenly aware of our own feelings. In so doing, we give our Loved Ones space to grow and we become more curious about what growth looks like from their perspective. Changing ourself makes room for our Loved One to change as well.Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted Loved One. They are all members of Allies in Recovery, an online platform providing proven, research-based training, guidance, support and resources for families with a Loved One struggling with substance use. Alongside psychotherapist Kayla Solomon, they openly share their experiences, insights, and the CRAFT-based tools that have helped them shift the dynamic at home. A membership at Allies in Recovery gives you unlimited access to:  ✔ Step-by-step training in CRAFT through our online platform  ✔ Support groups and a community that understands what you're going through  ✔ A Q&A blog with expert guidance  ✔ And much more! Visit Allies in Recovery today and start creating change in your family. 

It’s incredibly hard to have a Loved One who’s experiencing homelessness. Our hosts—Hazel, Kevin, and Greer—join Kayla Solomon to discuss their experiences with their Loved Ones and offer hard-won advice. They say it’s important to try to create an environment of openness, connection, and availability—up to a point. But it’s also important to have boundaries. If you’re not giving advice or intervening in ways your loved one is not asking for, they get the life experience of their choices, but they also have loving connections available. When they’re ready, you’re ready to help them with a list of resources. Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted Loved One. They are all members of Allies in Recovery, an online platform providing proven, research-based training, guidance, support and resources for families with a Loved One struggling with substance use. Alongside psychotherapist Kayla Solomon, they openly share their experiences, insights, and the CRAFT-based tools that have helped them shift the dynamic at home. A membership at Allies in Recovery gives you unlimited access to:  ✔ Step-by-step training in CRAFT through our online platform  ✔ Support groups and a community that understands what you're going through  ✔ A Q&A blog with expert guidance  ✔ And much more! Visit Allies in Recovery today and start creating change in your family. 

What you don’t do – like get caught up in being a superhero, or telling your Loved One what they “should do” – can help your relationship emerge as a partnership. If we develop good relationships, we have power. If we have the capacity to change, we have power. If we have awareness, we can make choices, and that gives us power, too. By accepting the invitation to change ourselves, we will have the greatest impact on those around us. The Allies in Recovery program uses the CRAFT Method to teach the precious skills of pausing, reflecting and considering next moves. This in itself will greatly shift the dynamics between you and your Loved One struggling with addiction.Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted Loved One. They are all members of Allies in Recovery, an online platform providing proven, research-based training, guidance, support and resources for families with a Loved One struggling with substance use. Alongside psychotherapist Kayla Solomon, they openly share their experiences, insights, and the CRAFT-based tools that have helped them shift the dynamic at home. A membership at Allies in Recovery gives you unlimited access to:  ✔ Step-by-step training in CRAFT through our online platform  ✔ Support groups and a community that understands what you're going through  ✔ A Q&A blog with expert guidance  ✔ And much more! Visit ⁠Allies in Recovery⁠ today and start creating change in your family. 

Self-care is a pillar of CRAFT; helping yourself is essential to helping your Loved One. A lot of CRAFT focuses on a parent trying to help an adult child, so how do we shift things in a partner relationship so we're able to play the starring role in our own lives? Is there room to focus on ourselves when our loved one is not showing up in the relationship, family, or household?Partner CRAFT is a podcast series by Allies in Recovery⁠ that focuses on applying the CRAFT method with a romantic partner (or ex-partner) struggling with addiction. Co-hosts Kayla Solomon (psychotherapist, IMAGO counselor, and Allies in Recovery group facilitator) and Isabel Cooney (Allies in Recovery team member and ex-partner of a loved one with addiction) discuss the unique challenges of using CRAFT in these relationships—and how it can transform them. A membership at Allies in Recovery gives you unlimited access to:  ✔ Step-by-step CRAFT training tailored for families and partners  ✔ Support groups and a community that understands  ✔ A Q&A blog with expert guidance  ✔ And much more! Visit Allies in Recovery to learn about our membership options, read our blog posts, meet our team, and much more! 

When your partner suffers from Substance Use Disorder, what are realistic expectations in your relationship? Are your expectations setting you up for frustration? Which of your needs can you meet for yourself? Kayla Solomon and Isabel Cooney explore the often sticky nature of partnership when SUD is involved.Partner CRAFT is a podcast series by Allies in Recovery⁠ that focuses on applying the CRAFT method with a romantic partner (or ex-partner) struggling with addiction. Co-hosts Kayla Solomon (psychotherapist, IMAGO counselor, and Allies in Recovery group facilitator) and Isabel Cooney (Allies in Recovery team member and ex-partner of a loved one with addiction) discuss the unique challenges of using CRAFT in these relationships—and how it can transform them. A membership at Allies in Recovery gives you unlimited access to:  ✔ Step-by-step CRAFT training tailored for families and partners  ✔ Support groups and a community that understands  ✔ A Q&A blog with expert guidance  ✔ And much more! Visit Allies in Recovery to learn about our membership options, read our blog posts, meet our team, and much more! 

When your partner is using substances year after year and you don't see change, you may end up wondering, "Why am I staying?"A listener wrote in that she wondered about staying with her husband, who struggles with alcohol but hasn't responded to her efforts to practice CRAFT thus far. Would leaving him constitute "natural consequences?" Isabel Cooney and Kayla Solomon examine this important question. Kayla, an IMAGO couples therapist, explains the dynamic of pursuer vs. avoider—which are you with your Loved One?Partner CRAFT is a podcast series by Allies in Recovery⁠ that focuses on applying the CRAFT method with a romantic partner (or ex-partner) struggling with addiction. Co-hosts Kayla Solomon (psychotherapist, IMAGO counselor, and Allies in Recovery group facilitator) and Isabel Cooney (Allies in Recovery team member and ex-partner of a loved one with addiction) discuss the unique challenges of using CRAFT in these relationships—and how it can transform them. A membership at Allies in Recovery gives you unlimited access to:  ✔ Step-by-step CRAFT training tailored for families and partners  ✔ Support groups and a community that understands  ✔ A Q&A blog with expert guidance  ✔ And much more! Visit Allies in Recovery to learn about our membership options, read our blog posts, meet our team, and much more! 

The original CRAFT is outcome-driven and behavioral-based, aimed at getting people into treatment. Allies has made it more connection- and relationship-oriented, focused on listening and communication. The same skill set Allies focuses on — validating, not arguing, not giving advice or challenging someone's reality or perception — often works with someone dealing with mental health challenges. Creating that space helps that person feel calm and heard.At Allies in Recovery, we train, guide, and support families using the CRAFT method—an evidence-based approach that helps families shift the dynamic with a loved one struggling with addiction and often mental health struggles. Self-care is a cornerstone of this process, but for many, it’s something we have to learn from scratch. A membership at Allies in Recovery gives you unlimited access to:  ✔ Step-by-step CRAFT training through our online learning platform  ✔ Support groups and a community that understands what you're going through  ✔ A Q&A blog with expert guidance  ✔ And much more! Visit Allies in Recovery to start your new path towards healing addiction in your family.  

What happens to the 30 percent who, in the traditional, research-based CRAFT model, don't make it to treatment in 12 weeks? The Allies in Recovery version — "applied" CRAFT — goes beyond the 12-week version and focuses on change, not just going to treatment. We discuss where you can begin the process, and how you can lead by modelling. Long-term change is the goal.At Allies in Recovery, we train, guide, and support families using the CRAFT method—an evidence-based approach that helps families shift the dynamic with a loved one struggling with addiction. Self-care is a cornerstone of this process, but for many, it’s something we have to learn from scratch. A membership at Allies in Recovery gives you unlimited access to:  ✔ Step-by-step CRAFT training through our online learning platform  ✔ Support groups and a community that understands what you're going through  ✔ A Q&A blog with expert guidance  ✔ And much more! Visit Allies in Recovery to start your new path towards healing addiction in your family.  

What do these terms mean? Should we use them? And are they disparaging? "Dry drunk" comes from Alcoholics Anonymous, and refers to someone who's abstinent, but may not obviously be doing more than remaining abstinent. And "manipulation" is often in the eye of the beholder. CRAFT can help take the judgment out of it and help you get to know your process, and make choices on how you feel, what you need, and the boundaries you can live with.Allies in Recovery provides training and ongoing support for families ready to move forward and create real change in their loved one's addiction. We offer practical tools, expert guidance, and a compassionate community to support you every step of the way. Visit Allies in Recovery to learn about our membership options, read our blog posts, meet our team, and much more!