Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved One's Recovery from Addiction & Mental Illness

Why all the hubbub about stigmatizing language when it comes to Substance Use?  Is "addiction" a bad word? Laurie MacDougall is author of the article "The Power of Language," on the Allies in Recovery blog, which explores how removing stigma from the language we use (ie, Substance Use vs. Substance Abuse) can have dramatic effects on the care and treatment people receive. Laurie explains her position (and how she came to it) to colleagues et co-hosts Kayla and Dominique, who at first admit they'd rather stick to their established ways of referring to Addiction / Substance Use Disorder / Opiate Use Disorder / Alcohol Use Disorder, etc. Will Laurie win them over? Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net   Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.

What does 'Identity' have to do with substance use in the family? Here are a couple examples of how our identity can trip us up: - I'm so enmeshed with my loved one and their substance use that when you ask me how I am, I tell you about how my loved one is doing, or I'm incapable of knowing what I am actually feeling, or I figure, it doesn't really matter. - I may believe that I have the responsibility of punishing, or creating consequences for my loved one's substance use, and I may keep returning to this approach despite the fact that I see it's not helping my loved one or our communications. When we're too attached to a role we've been playing, or think we should play, this often puts blinders on us... we are much less able to take an honest look at the dynamics between ourselves and our loved one. And why do we want to have a clearer vision of the dynamics? In order to change things up. Even though, as Kayla says, "changing your identity is the scariest things in the world." We hope that listening to this episode will help you see why it's still important to consider shifting some parts of your identity that simply aren't serving you or anyone else. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net   Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.

How does shame fit in to Substance Use and the family system? We're not talking about the shame you feel when you've done something regrettable, but rather the deeper, internalized belief that so many of us have, that says "There's something wrong with me." Kayla calls it "character assassination". Shame plays a prominent role where substance use has become problematic: the person misusing substances often feels shame about being stuck in the pattern, and the family often falls into the trap of blaming themselves for where their child/family member is, which they may feel reflects badly on them. It can be a real shame-fest. Join our hosts for this illuminating conversation. You'll learn to start peeling away the layers and get to the core of the issue. Why is this important? Why is it one of the things we ask you to look at when you're working our program for families? Because the family works as a system. And the more you learn to see and understand your role in the system, the more power you'll have to shift the dynamic. This does work! Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net   Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.

A continuation of last week's podcast, we get in depth about the intricacies of dealing with a loved one in a situation of limited connection navigating the realities of the dynamics in how do you communicate and draw a loved one back in and stay connected and draw em back in when theres limited communication or stuck with only text messaging and also what do you do when you finally have that commmunication with a call with your loved on and they are beligerent and treating you like a whipping post Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net   Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.

(34min) CRAFT puts the family in the role of informed shepherd for their Loved One (LO) with Substance Use, and the method was designed for families who have day-to-day interactions with the LO and can use their influence in that framework. But how do you continue the conversation and work the magic of CRAFT if your Loved One is far away, or if you have very minimal contact? Can you rekindle communication, can you get to a softer, more trusting relationship, and can you shine the light on treatment for your Loved One. . . all the while being far away or having minimal interactions? We believe that yes, you absolutely can! Learn to coax the scared, wounded animal back out of the woods and back into a relationship with you. Learn to communicate without the anxiety and panic that are often part of the family member's experience, by putting yourself in a "connecting position" vs. a "threatening position." Learn how to change the dynamic of "the pursuer and the avoider" with your communications. Kayla's example is: "Send cat photos . . . and use emojis!" Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net   Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.

(39 min)   Following their discussion on Episode #72, Laurie, Kayla and Dominique look at the "First thought, Second Thought" phenomenon, a key topic in Cognitive Behavior Therapy. It's an important one for anyone, but especially for families addressing the needs of a Loved One with addiction and/or trauma. Kayla reminds us that "You are not the center of their universe, even if they love you," and emphasizes the importance of getting space inside our own heads. Thoughts happen, and we can actually learn to react and respond to them differently. How do you get space? This is about getting mental space. Literally, you're taking a pause. You're looking at that first thought, saying "that's interesting," and putting some space before you allow the second thought in. "When we look at our Loved Ones as the "Identified Problem," that's a trap that they can never get out of," says Kayla. "So, the more we look at ourselves  . . . the more we release them to just focus on themselves and their own issues. . . . What's my part of the problem so that I can do my part of the solution?" Kayla and Laurie also look at the subtle beliefs behind the idea of "listening to your gut" — what should we actually do with our gut's messages? Listen? Follow? You won't want to miss this! Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net   Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.

(33 min 45 sec) "How do I calm my system down enough so that I'm not eating and drinking battery acid every day?" or in other words, "How can I go from a reflexive, automatic, unconscious reaction to actually being able to have choice over my reactions?" Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net   Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.

(20 min 5 sec) Dominique interviews Annie Highwater on her journey to her current vocation Annie speaks of the feelings of craziness and chaos she grew up in: "When life feels hopeless and you feel like everyone around you is losing their mind... I was so surrounded by it, I never saw a way out!" She speaks of the peer support work she does now, and shares a message of hope that comes from her own lived experience: "Recovery is a beautiful thing, and it's possible for any family." She talks about her own journey to healing: "I started noticing that the more peaceful I was, the calmer the situation would be." Annie's enthusiasm is catching, and her journey is inspiring. Tune in! Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net   Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.

(24 min 39 sec) Allies Founder & Director, Dominique Simon-Levine, interviews Laurie MacDougall, Allies collaborator and creator of REST educational groups. Dominique was especially interested in what pushed Laurie to leave her former occupation and begin focusing on the work she does today: educating, advocating for, and supporting families affected by Substance Use Disorder.  Laurie describes various life circumstances that came together and sparked change, including her discovery of the Allies in Recovery website. She talks about what was in her head when she created REST and how the momentum brought her to where she is today. Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more @ alliesinrecovery.net   Membership is FREE during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Learn a magical practice to vastly improve communications with your Loved One with SUD. It's not "talking to" and it's not "just listening" ... but an alchemical mix of the two. If you've ever felt baffled or enraged by communicating with a loved one, you're sure to appreciate this episode. Peer Recovery specialist Laurie MacDougall is joined by Imago Relationship therapist Kayla Solomon and Allies in Recovery's Isabel Cooney, for an eye-opening dive into Reflective Listening. What is it? How does it work? What are the benefits for you, and the person you're reflectively listening to? And why does Kayla believe in it so much that she says she'd use it if someone were pointing a gun at her?Join our Member Site today to take full advantage of Allies in Recovery’s program, including 8 video modules, three blogs, and dialogue with experts in the fields of treatment and recovery. Learn more at alliesinrecovery.net