Conversations from the Heart

Explore the transformative power of reflective listening as it fosters deep self-discovery. Learn how initial questions often reveal hidden truths, guiding clarity and self-trust. Delve into the emotional complexity of experiencing both grief and hope simultaneously, and understand the role of community support in navigating these feelings. Discover practical strategies for enhancing self-connection during life changes, emphasizing accountability and compassion in relationships.

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) can lead to intense emotional turmoil from perceived rejection. Discover how to distinguish between real rejection and fear, while learning practical tools to regulate your emotions. Personal stories reveal how embracing sensitivity can be a strength. The discussion also touches on family communication and the vital role of understanding attachment styles in relationships. Gain insights to bounce back from rejection and foster resilience, turning vulnerability into power.

When kids act out - whether it’s stealing, shutting down, pushing boundaries, or having emotional outbursts - how can we respond in ways that guide them toward growth rather than shame?Today, we explore two powerful real-life situations:A young10-year old boy who stole money from his mentor:  What was driving his behavior, and how could adults respond in a way that fosters learning instead of punishment?A seven-year-old struggling with his parents’ divorce: How can his mother support his overwhelming emotions without taking on his distress or trying to “fix” his sadness?Through these stories, we unpack the difference between control and connection, how to set limits without losing warmth, and why holding space for kids’ emotions is the key to their long-term resilience.Tune in as we explore - 2:24 Opening thoughts3:21 I'm dealing with a child who stole money and could use some help with a conversation.7:29 I don't like how I showed up and I want to bring something new to the conversation22:13 How can I help my son cope with his new home? For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

Have you ever been cast as the "villain" in someone else's story?  Perhaps you're seen as the one who got it wrong, didn't do enough, or failed to meet expectations?Today, we explore what it means to hold our ground in relationships without getting defensive, to listen without justifying, and to accept that sometimes, people need to see us as the problem while they process their own pain.In today's conversation, Jill's daughter just sent her a long list of parenting grievances.  How can she respond with love and understanding without falling into the trap of proving herself?And, Jaya keeps finding herself in relationships where she feels small. How does she break the cycle of submission, reclaim her voice, and recognize when a dynamic isn't worth staying in?Together we'll explore:✨ Why defensiveness keeps us stuck—and what to do instead  ✨ How to recognize the real need behind someone’s anger or blame  ✨ The difference between explaining and connecting  ✨ How to trust your own voice, even when someone else tries to rewrite the narrative  ✨ When to stay, when to engage, and when to let go  Show Notes:1:01 Opening comments3:43 My daughter wrote me an angry text and I'm not sure how to best respond.20:55 The healing is not in litigating the past, but happens in the present.27:04 My pattern in relationships is to collapse.  How can I be more assertive?30:47 The key to asking for what we want41:28 Healing requires a regulated nervous system49:23 Closing thoughtsIf you've ever felt misunderstood, unfairly judged, or struggled to maintain connection while standing in your truth, this episode is for you. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

In this week's episode, both questions focus on the theme of disappointment, and how to work with people and relationships that leave us wanting.  We discuss:1:03 Opening comments7:01 I just found out my friend got married and I wasn't invited16:28 Avoidant vs. anxious attachment styles22:18 Role play:  What would you say if you could?32:14 I want an unconditionally loving relationship and I am always disappointed43:19 Not all our needs must be met by one person For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

From the moment we enter the world, we begin learning.  We absorb the rules of our families, communities, and larger societies.  Some of these lessons serve us well, fostering connection, growth, and resilience.But others come from systems designed to control and dominate, systems that teach us to trade our authenticity for approval, our agency for compliance, and our creativity for conformity.In this episode, we speak with Carol and Jen who are working with ways to voice their needs with an eye to getting those needs met.  We discuss:1:02 Opening thoughts3:45 How can I create a more mutual friendship with an old friend?9:55 How to check out my assumption with my friend16:06 I'm scared to speak up about what I want23:20 My suggestion was shot down in a meeting and I collapsed afterwards.  How can I show up when I'm shut down?27:20 Step 1:  Accepting where I am28:00 Step 2:  Ask a question.  ANY QUESTION.35:25 How to lead with more "I" and less "You"40:06 Shadow work:  I get to take up space47:30 What can I do for myself once I've woken from a freeze response? For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

This episode is devoted to those of us who feel frustrated when we're interrupted, or when a conversation we're having is diverted in a way that doesn't feel generative and connecting.  Listen in for the three strategies we can use and the three goals we can shoot for in order to create a new conversation. We discuss:3:10 I was having a heartfelt conversation and got interrupted.  What can I do in moments like these?8:09 Strategy #1:  Say it badly to someone else, first15:19 Doing our work on the backend allows for more choicefulness in the moment.16:15 Strategy #2:  Reflect the person back to them, and ask consent for a different conversation21:45 Strategy #3: Raise awareness about the current dynamic29:16 Goal #1: Shoot for playfulness35:20 Goal #2:  Detach from the other person's reaction 36:58 Goal #3:  Accept yourself at your current level of practice40:01 When I can't access humor, it might be because pain is present41:54 Closing thoughts For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

Today, Colleen shares her experience of balancing emotional authenticity with others' expectations, while CJ explores the challenges of offering meaningful apologies and overcoming guilt and shame. This episode is for you if you've ever wondered:How do you stay connected when emotions run high?What’s the secret to offering an authentic apology without getting stuck in guilt or shame?How can you repair a strained connection and set boundaries with clarity and compassion?We explore the tools and insights to navigate emotionally charged moments with care, curiosity, and courage. If you’ve ever struggled with miscommunication, misunderstood intentions, or the messy beauty of being human, this conversation is your guide to finding deeper connection—even when things feel imperfect.Tune in and discover practical ways to bring more honesty, empathy, and resilience into your relationships.We discuss:3:30 How do I share with my friend that I care, even if I'm not as upset as he is?9:12 I inadvertently offended someone.  How can I repair that?14:18 We don't have to do things better - we can do them differently.19:10 How can I have a conversation with my roommate that prompts her to move out?24:45 Hard conversation tip #1:  Pick up the other person's perspective.26:06 Releasing fear of conflict29:21 Closing thoughtsIf, like CJ, you are yearning to up level your ability to take accountability for mistakes without sinking into regret or shame, that's exactly what we'll be practicing this spring in my Deep Dive.  Learn how to repair relationships while maintaining your dignity in From Regret to Resilience:  The Art of Repair Work.  Use Coupon Code:  PODCAST50 to save $50 For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

This week I talk to Steve, who is trying to balance his care for a friendship that has become emotionally draining, with his care for himself, and we explore questions many of us grapple with: How do we distinguish between setting boundaries and abandoning someone we care about? How do we honor our own well-being while remaining compassionate toward others?You’ll hear Steve’s initial conversation about his struggle to let go of a friendship that isn’t meeting his emotional needs, followed by a powerful follow-up discussion two weeks later as he reflects on his journey.Episode Highlights:3:12 Steve’s Initial Question: Detaching from a friendship that has become emotionally unbalanced.10:00 A script for disengaging from a friendship 12:00 Part 2 Intro16:40 What is making it difficult to disengage?21:10 The Role of Validation: How seeking external affirmation can lead to unhealthy dynamics.29:03 Caring for the impact of our actions is not the same as feeling responsible for them.  30:31 Closing thoughts:  Tools for Boundaries and Clarity: Strategies for balancing care for others with self-compassion.37:20 Questions to ask yourself when wanting to disengage.Key Takeaways:Setting boundaries is not about rejecting others; it’s about preserving your own emotional well-being.Guilt often arises from taking too much responsibility for others’ emotions—self-compassion is key.Fulfilling relationships are rooted in reciprocity and mutual respect; it’s okay to let go when that’s missing.Resources Mentioned:Blog: Boundaries vs. Abandonment: How to Prioritize Yourself Without GuiltBoundaries Masterclass: A step-by-step guide to setting boundaries that both connect and protect.Free Resources: Explore tools for self-compassion and emotional clarity at yvetteerasmus.com. For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page

What if the smallest moments of care could transform a relationship or change a life? In this episode, we uncover the surprising power of empathy and connection through two compelling stories. Discover how to meet people where they are, foster deep understanding, and create conversations that truly matter.We discuss:  2:01 How can I help shift someone from self-blame to self-compassion?6:33 What happens when you prioritize connection over solving?7:34 How can presence and empathy shift someone from self-blame to self-compassion?12:57 The difference between a monologue and a conversation16:37 What are some strategies I can use to stay in my lane?23:28 How can I help the woman I care for make a difficult decision?35:44 Practical tips for creating co-created conversations that inspire growth.Join us for insights, stories, and an invitation to bring these lessons into your life. Don’t forget to sign up for the Getting Grounded in Your Goodness retreat by January 31st! For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans. Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com. Here are more ways to connect with me: Join the School of Human Connection Hop on one of our live calls Check out my YouTube page