Becoming Whole

Send us a textYou’ve probably heard it said here before that breaking a habit of unwanted sexual behaviors goes beyond “Behavior Management.”Setting up filters or throwing away devices might eliminate the cues to your addiction, but it still leaves you exposed. There’s deeper work to be done.Ultimately, to change your behavior you need to understand the why’s to your behavior. The actions you choose are connected to your emotions, to your thoughts and to your beliefs. You are wonderfully complex. In this episode, we’ll be looking at the design of a Tree to illustrate how you work and why you need to go deeper. (Be sure to look to the Homework section for ways to make the Tree model work for you.)Highlights: FRUIT (Our Behavior)The fruit of the tree, the leaves of the tree represent the behavior, the outward sign.BRANCHES (Our Emotions)When we experience some type of emotional pain or discomfort in our bodies, that serves as a trigger to move us towards these other behaviors to either medicate the pain or to get away from it.TRUNK (Our Thoughts)Your thoughts are more expansive than just a sentence, it holds with it some sort of image that connects to an idea.ROOTS (Our Story)This is where our Core beliefs lie. For example: What we learned about family based on our experience, about ourselves as kids, what God is like, about the world around us, what men are like, what women are like.SOIL (Our Influences)Things that influence our beliefs: Family of Origin, Abuses we’ve experienced, great disappointments, losses, etc.The things we choose to think can be soil around our beliefs. What we choose to do can also serve as soil that nourishes the soil of what we believe.Homework:We are praying you choose to do the harder work of uncovering. You hold a powerful opportunity to change the trajectory of your life.  If, along the way you find yourself needing extra help, consider reaching out to us and we will set you up with a Spiritual Coach to come alongside you in your important work.Branch Questions:When you struggle with an unwanted behavior, begin by asking yourself, “What was I feeling before I started moving in that direction?”If you’re feeling tempted right now, begin to notice and understand “What am I feeling in my body right now? What are the emotions I’m experiencing in my body right now?”Trunk Questions:What am I thinking that’s producing the kinds of emotions I’m experiencing now?Take some guesses: What was going on for you that day? What’s coming up for you?Root Work:Take some time to write out what you think about the idea of Family (for example). Write the word Family on a piece of paper and then start brainstorming all that comes to mind about what a family looks like, who’s there, what they do, what does a week look like, what happens on the weekends, what does home look like to you, what role dSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textThe term “Accountability Partner” can carry a high cringe factor.  Yes, they are meant for good - offering space to confess to one another, to pray with one another, to hope for the best for each other. But, if not handled well, Accountability Partners can cause more harm than good. The enemy would love nothing more than for you and your partner to focus on your behavior, smother you in shame and isolate you. Brothers and sisters, moving towards sexual wholeness begs for more than behavior management. Follow along as we work through some tips on how not to have an effective partnership. And then, get your pen and paper ready for 5 tips to a powerful partnership. Highlights: Making Accountability Partnerships Work:1. Frame up thinking with these questions: What do you want to do? What are you looking for? What do you desire?2. Focus on the positive so you can begin to see your progress.3. Celebrate, discuss, spend time on BOTH the good and the bad.4. Dive into the deep matters: What were you feeling? What was happening under the surface? What were you really looking for? Were you lonely? Feeling ashamed? 5. Invite the Cross of Jesus into the center of your journey. Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textYour life tells a story. And you are the main character. But what if you’re battling an ongoing porn addiction, unwanted same sex attraction or can’t stop hooking up?This is where an understanding of who you are meant to be and the story your life can tell is powerful. If Satan has taken over as the role of co-author, you are believing a false storyline. Don’t let his whispers sabotage the purpose you are meant to live out.Dig deep into the story you’ve been living to discover where the lies are. God wrote your story with love and friendship and honor and dignity in the details.Begin your next chapter with the truth as “it is written.”Highlights:Growing in sexual integrity includes: 1. Unearthing those subtle stories we are living. 2. Unearthing the faulty role we believe we have in that story.A person who sees themself living a bigger story, playing a more important character sees alone time as different kind of opportunity. Alone time becomes an opportunity for advancement, for rest, for self-nurturing, for connection with others, for aspiring to reflect God.Scripture pulls down the veil to reveal a reveal a bigger story of what God has for us.  The choice for us is whether we’ll dare to believe this narrative, that we have a better part to play and that we are actually in a better, bigger story than what we’ve been living.Homework:Where you have sexual sin in your life, is it possible you’ve allowed the serpent to rewrite your story and the role you play? What is the story you are living? What is your role? What does your Heart say about you in your challenging moments?After reflection, try using scripture to combat Satan’s whispers and affirm God’s design for you:1 Corinthians 3:16 I, myself, am God’s temple and God’s Spirit dwells in my midst.Ephesians 2:10 I am God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for me to do.2 Corinthians 10:5 I demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and I take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.2 Timothy 1:7 The Spirit God gave me does not make me timid, but gives me power, love and self-discipline.Resources:“A Million Miles in A Thousand Years: How I learned to live a better story.” By Donald MillerMake sure you check out Sacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textAs you do the work of pursuing sexual integrity, cultural messages keep watering down God’s heart for you as His creation. So, let’s pause for a deeper sense of what it means to be a man or to be a woman. Both the mystery and the glory of being man or being woman have been lost in our society. Christ is inviting you to stop and consider the creation story, the very beginning. You and I were created to be image bearers of God. Have you considered how your body’s sexuality images God? Let’s start now.Highlights:Sexual integrity means trusting that your body is made for God and not for sexual immorality.If we’re to become people of sexual integrity then we need to become more emotionally whole.Your body is designed for God. Whatever it feels in the moment of sexual pleasure, you still can always acknowledge that your body is designed first and foremost for God and for His will, not for sexual immorality.Homework:Questions for Reflection:How at home do you feel in your biological sex?How at home do you feel with others of the same sex – are you self-conscious, comfortable, etc?How at home do you feel with people of the opposite sex?Are you experiencing joy as a man, as a woman?Resources:Make sure you check out Becoming a Woman of Sexual Integrity and Becoming a Man of Sexual Integrity. These quick video series are an introduction to becoming more whole in the area of Sexual Integrity!If you want to learn more, check out Josh's latest musing on this topic at, Sexual Integrity Is Sexed IntegrityTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textSexual integrity is about you becoming whole. You are made up of many parts – mind, body and soul. And in your journey to becoming whole, it is key to address all the parts that make you, YOU. In the last episode, we examined the role of the body. This week, we’ll learn more about the role of emotions. There is a direct link between your unwanted sexual behavior and your emotional life. And, if you’re willing to pay attention to your feelings, they can serve as clues into something inside you that needs your attention. This is not easy work. It takes courage and vulnerability. Facing your feelings connects you to who you are at a deeper level. Don’t be afraid. Let’s move beyond regulating an unwanted sexual behavior boundaries and protocols into living a life of freedom and wholeness.Highlights:If you want to be a person of sexual integrity, there is no way to do that without becoming an emotionally healthy person.A lot of us run to unwanted sexual behaviors as an attempt to regulate our emotions.Our emotions are not always correct barometers of what is real or true but they’re an important part of who we are.Homework:In Luke 18, Jesus asks the blind man:  “What do you want me to do for you?”Why did Jesus ask the blind man that? Jesus desires us to be in touch with our desires. He wants to engage with us on that level. Emotions are a gateway to what we really desire and Jesus knows that.He’s inviting you into a place where you examine and explore with Him all the hopes in your heart.Resources:Dr Patrick Carnes says unwanted sexual behaviors are a way to medicate pain.Dr Harry W. Schaumburg talked about acting out as a way to gain a false sense of intimacy.Russell Willingham explains, we run to unwanted sexual behaviors when we don’t know how to deal with certain types of emotions.Dr Mark LaaserMake sure you check out Becoming a Woman of Sexual Integrity and Becoming a Man of Sexual Integrity. These quick video series are an introduction to becoming more whole in the area of Sexual Integrity!If you want to learn more, check out Josh’s latest musing on this topic at, Sexual Integrity and Emotional HealthTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textSexual Integrity Starts Here. Integration is a big word describing the large task of becoming whole. Over the next couple of episodes, we’ll dedicate time to understanding the mechanics of sexual integrity. You are a complex, marvelous being with many layers and even more moving parts. When it comes to sexual integrity, you may assume your body is the enemy, the source of sexual sin. That is just one sign of the dis-integration we’ll identify. You are worthy of and designed for wholeness. The journey to sexual integrity starts here, with your body.Highlights:To be a person of sexual integrity means all these parts are healthy and they are working together that you might live out your life physically, relationally, sexually, with integrity.Your body is not the enemy.Honor your body because you are designed bodily for God not for sexual immorality.Homework:Talk to your body prayerfully and with honor. Apologize to the part of your body involved in sexual sin.If it was your eyes, then pray: “Lord, forgive me for using my eyes in a way they’re not designed for. Eyes, forgive me. You were made not for lust. You were made for love.”Resources:Make sure you check out Becoming a Woman of Sexual Integrity and Becoming a Man of Sexual Integrity. These quick video series are an introduction to becoming more whole in the area of Sexual Integrity!If you want to learn more, check out Josh's latest musing on this topic at, Sexual Integrity Starts with Who You AreTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textGod’s design for sex includes your questions and desires and hopes. But, if pornography was your sex-ed teacher, you absorbed imagery and ideas that changed your brain.On top of that, your heart is probably holding onto shame too.  We live in a world where pornography is literally at our fingertips. If you started watching it as a kid, we hope the message is clear for you to stop blaming yourself for that early exposure. Those visuals should never play the role of teacher.In fact, trusted adults are meant to be God’s provision to help kids begin to understand what sex is all about. We hope this episode encourages you to ask God to untangle the good from the bad so you can walk more fully as the man or woman God designed you to be today.Highlights:Far too many of us have been shaped by porn in such a way that it’s changed our sexual templates.Porn is highly addictive for adults. So, it’s all the more so for kids whose brains are still forming.Parents need to own that giving a kid digital device is too heavy a responsibility because pornography can be so easily accessed on it.Extras:Treading Boldly through a Pornographic World: A Field guide for Parents by Josh Glaser and Daniel WeissIf you want to learn more, check out Josh's latest musing on this topic at, What Billie Eilish Didn’t SayTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textWe’re moving closer to Christmas. Ironically, this is about the time when ads and expectations and schedules pull us further from Christ.For sure, there is an abundance to this season but not in the commercial way you may be thinking. Strip away the fussy garland and the must-have linens and the coordinated outfits. Let’s listen for the call to you and me; inviting us to a more Christ-like Christmas. Highlights:How much of the way we expect to make Christmas meaningful, how much we pursue has more to do with the culture and media have put in front of us than what God has put in front of usWhen we seek to make Christmas about Christ in a way that moves us, draws us, reorients us, helps connect us with the truth of who God is and why we worship him in the first place. Do we do so around a liturgy of commercialism or around a truly Christian liturgy?The commercial liturgy in the U.S. is powerful and embedded in us.Homework:How can we reorient our hearts around Christ himself this Christmas?Seek out Christ in the lowly, the lost, the widow, the orphan - seek out those who cannot pay you back this Christmas.Is there step, a little sacrifice you can make so you can experience a Christ-centered Christmas?Invite him into our home through the least and the lost.If you want to learn more, check out Josh's latest musing on this topic at, Laying Down the Ideal Christmas (for Something Better)Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textWe are in a season of waiting for the arrival of Jesus. And, while we count down the days of Advent by eating chocolate or reading devotions, the anticipation builds. In the area of sex and relationships, waiting can lead us to a place where we are really tempted to compromise. As a culture, we are too short-sighted and impatient. Where are your sights set this season? Experiencing Advent side by side means we can wait with each other. There’s community and power and beauty when we share in each other’s suffering.Listen in as we learn to wait together.Highlights:The church of Jesus is suffering on a big scale. We struggle with waiting.When it comes to sexual integrity, relational wholeness, health in our sense of identity; I believe that one of the reasons the church is really faltering in the West is because we don’t know how to wait.In the area of sex and relationships, waiting can be very hard work and become an area where we are really tempted to compromise.Homework:Some questions to put before God this season: Where are you placing your desires?  Where are you placing the “finish line”? What are you waiting for God to provide for you?If you want to learn more, check out Josh's latest musing on this topic at, What Are You Waiting For? (And Why It Matters.)Transcription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)

Send us a textMary, the mother of Jesus, is an important figure in every way. After all, it was her body that ushered in the tiny body of our Savior, Jesus, into this world.Still there is controversy among us, as believers, on the amount of time we should dedicate to her.For now, let’s spend a few moments meditating on Mary. Because, if we make too little of Mary, we miss out on more of God.Looking at Mary and seeing how God sees her gives us a window to see how God sees us. Her role then is significant to you now. This week in Advent, join us as we explore the mystery of our Savior’s birth through a young girl named Mary.Let's dive in!Highlights:We take the humanity out of Jesus when we make his birth too abstract because we think of it as something that is surreal, that is beyond the physical world.Jesus becoming flesh dignifies our flesh.Part of Jesus’ story is that his body came into this world through Mary’s body.Extras:Mary’s Song in Luke 1:46-55(Mary chooses words to magnify the Lord from Psalm 22, 44, 103, 1 Samuel 2:1-10, etc. showing us that she held Scripture close)“And Mary said: ‘My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant.From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me—holy is his name.His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation.He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble.He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty.He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever, just as he promised our ancestors.’”If you want to learn more, check out Josh's latest musing on this topic at, Why Mary Matters to Your BodyTranscription:Full Transcription Available hereSupport Becoming WholeSacred By Design Women's Retreat 2025 - Register Today! Free Resources to help you on your journey to Becoming Whole 👉Men's Overcoming Lust & Temptation Devotional👉Women 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Women overcoming unwanted sexual Behavior)👉Compass 21-Day Prayer Journal & Devotional - (Wives who are or have been impacted by partner betrayal)