The Motherkind Podcast

This week, we welcome Carolyn Cowan back to the podcast. If you’ve been listening for a while, you might remember the last conversation we had together. We had such an incredible response to that episode so I’m excited to welcome her back. Carolyn is a psychosexual and relationship therapist and in this week’s episode, we have a really wide-ranging conversation about relationships, shame and the difference between guilt and shame. As ever, we go quite deep and sometimes into some uncomfortable spaces. One of the things I most love about Carolyn are her practical concepts and ideas – she shares some really helpful advice around how to heal from some of the topics we discuss. I hope you enjoy the episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Rangan Chatterjee joins us to talk about making behaviour changes in our lifestyle and how all it takes is five minutes every day to create these changes. We talked about his new book, Feel Better In 5, which is about doing three things a day for five minutes each to help change your health, well-being, and mindset. Sit back and join us in this episode that will hopefully inspire you to not only achieve your New Year's resolutions but to make long-term changes to make your life better. For full show notes, please visit www.motherkind.co. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, in partnership with Sainsbury's and the mum-founded brand Bloom and Blossom, I'm joined by the founders Christina Moss and Julia Yule. We chat about the pressures of having five children and being entrepreneurs at the same time, how they handle the good and the bad days, and their journey from kitchen table to becoming the incredible businesswomen that they are today. Episode kindly supported by Sainsbury’s. To claim your FREE Bloom and Blossom gift go to https://www.motherkind.co/podcast-1 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s the Christmas season! We are always on the move, preparing for the next shopping trip or hopping from one gathering to another. More often than not, it is others who make us participate in these activities, and we feel compelled to say ‘yes’ all the time. And then, when things go awry, we blame ourselves in the end. We ask ourselves, ‘Is there a way to say “no” to all of these things?’ In this episode, we learn the answer to that question with the help of the international best-selling author of The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck, Sarah Knight. We are going to talk about how to be more forgiving of yourself and how to take back control of your own life. So, come and join us in today’s episode as we make you realise why saying ‘no’ and being a little selfish is a form of self-care. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

People need boundaries to stay grounded and maintain their reserves of energy. Without limits, life can be messy and tricky. Boundaries also teach people to prioritise their feelings over the emotions of other people. In this week’s episode, Courtney Burg talks about boundaries, their importance, and the challenges associated with setting limits. Courtney also shares essential guides on how a person can set boundaries for self-improvement and healing. Tune in to this episode and read some of the key takeaways from our conversation below. Key Takeaways From this Episode: The Healing Process: Courtney recovered from addiction through the 12-step programme. Her sponsor is a close friend. She also resorted to journaling and exercising. (08:13) It is advisable to try new things. Trying new things is essential for self-rebuilding and renewing. (09:13) Technological advancements have allowed the accessibility of different methods of healing. Now, people can talk about their issues with other people who can relate to them and who can help them. (10:00) Understanding Boundaries: Often, people think limitations or ultimatums set out of anger or vindictiveness qualify as boundaries. However, they don’t. (10:33) There is a long list of boundaries that we utilise that, without our knowledge, give power to other people instead. But we realise it once we start feeling anxious, stressed and depressed. (11:25) These feelings are brought by a lack of boundaries or inability to implement limitations in our lives. This inability stems from our inner child, the people-pleasers. (11:41) Having Boundaries: It takes practice to have boundaries. It is normal to feel guilty when setting limits for the first time. (12:21) Part of not having boundaries is the constant need for other’s approval. Courtney felt that if she had limitations, the significant people in her life would leave. (13:11) Letting go of those wrongful beliefs allowed her to engage in deep and authentic relationships with people who matter. (13:27) Dealing with Pushback: You cannot always make everybody happy or proud of you. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable. You will then be comfortable in setting boundaries. (20:31) You can recognise other people’s happiness without sacrificing your own. You are not responsible for other people’s needs and issues. (22:02) Setting boundaries is challenging, but it does not mean it is wrong. (23:41) When dealing with pushback, try writing a journal to sort out your feelings. (24:09) Raising Children with Boundaries: Parents must teach their children to have boundaries, especially at an early age. (24:39) Children do not need approval or adoration all the time. Parents can teach the act of sharing without forcing the children to share. (26:03) Parents must evaluate the way they are raised to correct unwanted behaviours. In this way, they will not enforce to their children the same practice enforced to them. (28:13) Dealing with Resentment: When you do not have boundaries, you will be resentful because you are not honest with your feelings. (35:14) Having boundaries makes you more connected to people because honesty becomes the foundation of the relationship. (36:11) Setting Boundaries: Spend at least five minutes each day to reflect on your life and ask yourself, ‘What is it that I need?’ Spending alone time is crucial to remain grounded. (38:26) Boundaries are like love letters because it lets you be vulnerable and honest with the people in your life. (46:33) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m bursting with excitement for you to hear this week’s episode of the podcast, because it’s my first ever totally solo episode. It also coincides with the launch of my first ever online course, ‘Freedom from Perfectionism’. You might remember a few months ago I asked what you would most like a self-study course on. The overwhelming response from you all was on freedom from perfectionism. This week’s podcast is all about my recovery from perfectionism - which I’m feeling nervous to share as it’s the most personal and vulnerable I’ve ever been, but I trust that by sharing my truth with you it might help you connect to yours. Modern motherhood is unbelievably hard. We have this perfect storm of technology and social media and the rise in parental standards matched with a decline in parental support. I believe if we have any perfectionist tendencies, it can be one of the things that push us over the edge. Perfectionism is the red thread that runs through my own journey of healing – so in this week’s episode, I share how I recovered from it – and am still recovering, daily. I hope you enjoy it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Traumatic experiences can have long-lasting effects. They can even transcend generations. Inherited generational trauma may be the reason why you experience negative emotions and behaviours you cannot explain. However, understanding the nature of family trauma can empower you to start your path towards healing. In this week's episode, Mark Wolynn shares his insights on how the effects of painful experiences can be passed down to children. He teaches ways to recognise the signs of inherited family trauma, as well as how to counteract its effects. By having a deeper understanding of ourselves and our families, people can achieve peace and prevent their children from inheriting the trauma. Generational Trauma: ● Traumatic events follow a cycle where younger generations experience similar traumatic experiences with their parents or grandparents. (10:17) ● Particular milestones, such as marriage or the birth of your first child, can act as triggers. (11:14) ● Traumatic events can leave lasting impressions, such as fear of harming your child, that gets passed down generations. (13:22) ● Like a computer, we already have an integrated operating system that contains the fallout from past family trauma. (16:28) Connecting Your Experiences to Past Trauma ● Recognising generational trauma is difficult since families tend to keep secrets. (15:17) ● However, red flags include unusual emotions and behaviours inconsistent with your personal history. (16:46) ● Struggles in dealing with money, success, or relationships can come from family histories. (15:29) Trauma Language: ● Trauma leaves crumbs that can help people trace the origin of their current mental state. (17:25) ● The brain stores traumatic experiences as fragments of information, many of which are hard to detect consciously. (18:13) ● The exact details of these experiences are challenging to put into words, so they manifest mostly through nonverbal behaviour. (18:38) Reversing Trauma Symptoms: ● Painful experiences alter gene expression, allowing traumatic fallout to affect many generations. (21:06) ● However, research shows that mice who live in positive, low-stress environments show fewer changes in gene expression related to stress. (21:10) ● Humans also benefit from exposure to positive experiences, which can reverse the effects of inherited trauma and prevent further transmission. (22:10) ● People need to regularly practise de-stressing techniques since trauma reversal needs sustained action to be effective. (22:42) On Healing Family Relationships ● Healing is an inner movement, and recovery is a continuous process. (24:47) ● You can start healing even if you still don’t have a good relationship with your family. (25:00) ● A proper technique is to take a photograph of the person, imagine an ideal version of the person, and communicate with it, allowing you to express your thoughts. (25:31) ● Another method is to practise gratitude, which permits you to let go of your pent-up anger and resentment. (29:49) Concrete Steps for Healing Family Trauma: ● Become a trauma detective; reflect and be on the lookout for the verbal and nonverbal cues of trauma. (33:22) ● Trace the trauma back into your family and find where things went south. (33:28) ● Finally, develop a healing mindset to allow you to decouple from inherited trauma. (33:36) ● It's beneficial to have someone who can help double-check ourselves, witness our work, and give feedback. (34:58) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m really excited to share this week’s episode with you – I speak with Maisie Hill, author of the fantastic book, Period Power. Maisie is a sought-out after women’s health expert, with decades of experience. Maisie’s book made such a difference to my life – it really helped me to get to grips with my cycle, to understand what my hormones were doing at the different stages and learn how exactly it would impact my mood. I think you’ll find this one a real game-changer – please help to spread the word and share this with at least a couple of friends. All women need to know this! - Maisie’s interest in women’s health and cycles - Why she wrote her book, Period Power - Understanding your hormones, mood and emotions during the various parts of your cycle - How to use this knowledge for an easier experience - Parenting through the different stages of your cycle - The one gift that Maisie would give to all women As always, we continue the conversation over on Instagram, so come and join me there. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week's episode is brought to you in paid partnership with PR agency, Diffusion Together, we commissioned a research study of 1000 mums up and down the country to answer two questions - what are the pressures facing modern mums and does social media help or hinder? In this episode, with Zoe and Natasha Cobain, Director at Diffusion PR and mum of 2, we explore the fascinating results of the survey - and what we can all be doing to shed the pressure of modern motherhood. https://www.diffusionpr.com/home Episode kindly supported by Family Album https://family-album.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, I’m talking to Jennifer Petriglieri, a Professor of Organizational Behaviour at INSEAD. Jennifer studied the successful relationships of people who both had successful careers and what she found was absolutely fascinating. Jennifer is also the author of a new book called Couples that work - How dual career couple can thrive in love and work. I’ve been doing some research and two-thirds of all couples in the UK define themselves as having dual careers - this is where both partners feel like they have a career path they are both really invested in their work. So is it possible to have two people highly ambitious on a strong career path and stay happy? Jennifer and I discuss this and more during the episode. I cannot wait for you to listen to this episode I think it's going to be a game-changer, please share your thoughts as always. Episode kindly sponsored by Family Album https://family-album.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices