No Visible Bruises

In today's episode, I want to bring your attention to a particularly perilous type of narcissist known as the covert narcissist. Typically, we associate narcissism with individuals who are extremely extroverted and crave attention, often commanding the room's focus. However, it's crucial to note that not all extroverted people are narcissistic - this is far from the truth. The issue with covert narcissists is that they operate under the radar, making them much more difficult to detect until it's too late and you've become entangled with them. Once the relationship is established, the narcissistic abuse begins. In this episode, I'll be examining the ways in which you can spot a covert narcissist, their tactics for achieving their goals, and how to steer clear of them. What you will learn in this episode: The difference between a narcissist and a cover narcissist How to spot a covert narcissist Why a covert narcissist can be extremely dangerous Knowing the various ways in which a covert narcissist behaves can help you identify them before it's too late. One of the tell-tale signs is their tendency to play the victim, refusing to take responsibility and instead blaming external factors for their situation. This behaviour is a major red flag in the early stages of a relationship with a covert narcissist. Another tactic they employ is making you feel guilty, often through expert manipulation techniques like gaslighting. They may convince you that you're solely responsible for the relationship's problems, leading you to believe that you're the one at fault. To illustrate these behaviours in real-world scenarios, I'll be sharing my own experiences with my covert narcissistic ex-husband and the warning signs I missed, as well as offering advice on how to avoid making similar mistakes. Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Today, I will be delving into the financial dimension of divorce with Rhonda Noordyk. Rhonda Noordyk, a CDFA® certified professional, specializes in guiding women through the financial complexities of divorce. She has made a name for herself by trailblazing new strategies that empower women to navigate the financial aspects of divorce with confidence. Rhonda's expertise as a financial strategist helps her clients make informed decisions and determine their best financial options going forward. A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode: Why you can leave an abusive relationship no matter your financial situation How to be assertive whilst avoiding conflict  How the divorce process can lead to post-separation financial abuse During this discussion, Rhonda and I explore the roots of her passion for empowering women, tracing back to her childhood, 12 years in the financial industry, and experience in higher education. We delve into the unfortunate reality that many women remain in abusive relationships due to their financial circumstances. Rhonda provides invaluable insight into why it is crucial to leave an abusive relationship regardless of your finances and how you can do so. Don't miss the conclusion where Rhonda offers guidance on what steps to take if you feel trapped, scared, and uncertain about your financial situation before initiating a divorce. Connect with Rhonda: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rhondanoordyk/?hl=en Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/divorce-conversations-for-women/id1368648405 Women’s Financial Wellness Center: https://wfwcdivorce.com Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

So today is Valentine's Day, and unfortunately, this can be a difficult day for those who have suffered from narcissistic abuse. While this day is meant to celebrate love, a narcissist can use it as a tool to hurt and manipulate. In this episode, I'll share strategies to help you manage the emotions you may experience on valentines day, advice on healing post-narcissistic trauma, and ways to love yourself on this special day. Also, you may have noticed a slight change in the podcast title. I have decided to include the word "abuse" in the title of the podcast again since it cannot be changed that we have suffered abuse. However, we can work on healing from the trauma caused by the abuse. By acknowledging that we have been abused and not shying away from that word, we can make progress in our trauma recovery. What you will learn in this episode: The strategies a narcissist may employ to manipulate or control you on Valentine's Day. How to protect yourself on Valentine's Day and resist narcissistic abuse What you can do to love yourself and practice self-care On these special days of the year, such as valentines day, the narcissist can disappear, and this happened to me. I’ll share my story of how my partner disappeared before we were supposed to go on an exciting camping trip with my children. I’ll discuss how my ex used this opportunity to ruin a holiday to exert control over me and my children, and how you can avoid the same thing happening to you. On Valentine’s day especially, believing that you are lovable can be difficult, but it is important to remember how special and unique you are. So today I want you to practice self-care and do something that makes you feel good. Focus on the positive aspects of yourself, and show yourself some kindness. Remind yourself that you are worthy of love and that you deserve to be celebrated on this special day. Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Today I am speaking with Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson, the co-founders of Been There Got Out. Lisa is a high-conflict divorce coach and a certified domestic violence advocate who has successfully represented herself in numerous court cases. Chris, who developed the Been There Got Out podcast and manages the website and technology, is a certified high-conflict divorce coach specializing in writing high-conflict parenting plans. Both Chris and Lisa have personal experience with costly divorces, totalling over $400,000, which inspired them to coach individuals facing high-conflict relationships, divorce, custody battles, and co-parenting challenges. Their goal is to help these individuals achieve the best possible outcome in family court and beyond. A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode: How the court system is exacerbating post-separation abuse The unknown resources (other than lawyers) available to aid you in navigating divorce What to expect when navigating the court system and why "justice" may not be obtained In this episode, Chris and Lisa delve into what to do during a divorce. They discuss putting together a plan, keeping children safe, building a legal team, comprehending the legal system, and anticipating the other party's actions to prepare for any potential challenges. They also touch on the support and guidance they offer through their coaching program, Legal Abuse Support Group, their social media community, and their upcoming book, "Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances." Their aim is to assist individuals facing these difficult circumstances in avoiding common mistakes and achieving the best possible outcome with minimal impact on themselves and their children. Pre-Order Lisa & Chris's New Book - Been There Got Out  Connect with Lisa & Chris: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/been_there_got_out/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BeenThereGotOut Podcast: https://beentheregotout.buzzsprout.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BeenThereGotOut TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@been_there_got_out LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/been-there-got-out/ Pre-Order Lisa & Chris's New Book - Been There Got Out  Resources: Become an Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICC3 Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

If you're experiencing physical pain, chronic illness, or fatigue, and you've suffered from narcissistic abuse, it's possible that your trauma is the root cause of these physical symptoms. In this episode, I'll discuss the connection between abuse and physical reactions, including how even mental abuse can lead to physical pain. Many individuals view chronic illness and narcissistic abuse as separate entities, but they often go hand in hand. To fully heal from chronic illness, it's necessary to address and heal from the narcissistic abuse as well. What you will learn in this episode: How physical pain can indicate that our body is trying to protect us from trauma Why healing from narcissistic abuse can alleviate physical ailments The role cortisol plays in how we react to narcissistic abuse I have observed a strong link between narcissistic abuse and chronic illness not only in the communities I serve but also in my own family. I'll share my mother's story of being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and her lifelong struggle with it, and how I've come to understand that her arthritis was her body's way of protecting her from the inner pain caused by childhood abuse. I'll also delve into the connection between abuse and physical ailments such as alopecia, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, and IBS, and how cortisol can contribute to the development of these conditions. Resources: Somatic Healing & Vagus Nerve Toning Programme: https://carolinestrawson.com/regulate Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Today, I am SO excited to share with you a way to heal from narcissistic abuse, and at the same time help people who are struggling with the same situation. My passion is to assist people like you in overcoming the trauma of narcissistic abuse. As someone who has experienced this, I understand the difficulties of retraining the mind to move past the trauma. So, my aim is to share my knowledge and techniques with you, to aid in your personal healing journey, and to equip you with the tools to support and assist others facing similar struggles. Together, we can break the cycle of trauma and pave the way for a transformative path of healing and growth. What you will learn in this episode: How to heal oneself and assist others The tools to retrain yourself to take your life to the next level Why helping others assists in your own healing journey Listen in to learn how you can become a part of the world's only accredited coaching certification program that specializes in narcissistic abuse, where you’ll be able to transform your pain into a purposeful career by becoming an ICF and CPD Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach. You can learn more by visiting this page: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic Resources: Turn your pain into your purpose and become an ICF and CPD Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Christa Cusack is a writer and coach who specializes in navigating the complex and challenging landscape of high-conflict narcissistic divorce. Christa has personally faced the struggles of post-separation abuse, but has found ways to cope and heal through the use of comedy writing, somatic work, self-hypnosis, reiki, and her own narcissism-informed coaching tools and methods. She has channelled her experiences into creating helpful resources such as card decks and journals, as well as books and screenplays, all with the goal of supporting and helping others in similar situations. A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode: Tips for infusing humour into the challenging experience of coping with narcissistic abuse The link between early childhood trauma and adult responses to abuse Strategies for rebuilding and creating a new life following narcissistic abuse and post-traumatic stress In this episode, Christa delves into how she discovered the true nature of her relationship with her partner after leaving, and how she used her own intuition to navigate the trauma she faced. We'll also discuss the common tendency to keep ourselves "busy" as a means of avoiding our own intuition and how to avoid falling into that trap. Christa will also share the steps she took to rebuild her life in her 40's after experiencing the trauma of narcissistic abuse, physical illness, and post-traumatic stress. Connect with Christa: Website: www.qualitysoulcoaching.com TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@christacusackoneill Card Deck: https://www.deckible.com/card-decks/o0-52-pick-yourself-up-deck-deal-feel-heal-christa-cusack-o-neill Resources: The Unseen Wounds of Women: https://www.amazon.com/Unseen-Wounds-Women-Collection-Invisible/dp/B0BCSFF5KS Become an Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICC3 Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

At this time of year, it's common to feel discouraged if we haven't made progress on our goals. Even though we may want to take action, something within us may be holding us back. In this episode, we'll explore the internal barriers that prevent us from reaching our goals and provide strategies for overcoming them and building momentum. What you will learn in this episode: Strategies for getting unstuck and making progress What protector parts are and how to utilize these internal resources for personal growth Tools for maintaining emotional independence in the face of external influences Ten years ago, I was trapped in narcissistic abuse and felt like there was no way out. But now, I know that it's possible to have an amazing life after recovery. One of the things that helped me get on the path to recovery was learning to listen to my mind and body. We all have different parts of ourselves - some that want to stay in, others that want to go out. Some parts that make us feel disgusted with ourselves and others that love us. It's important to understand why we have these different parts of ourselves, because even the "bad" parts are there with loving intent. In this episode, I'll share how to read the "bad" parts and see how they're trying to protect you, as well as how to make sure the "good" parts are with you more often. Resources: Sign up for my FREE Masterclass on Attachment Styles of the Narcissist on Sunday 15th January 2022: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/attachment-styles Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Welcome to the start of a new year and a new beginning! In this episode, I’m focusing on how to kickstart your journey to a happier and healthier 2023. We know that time alone doesn't heal all wounds, so I’m going to be sharing a bottom-up approach to healing that empowers you to take control of your own recovery. You'll learn about the most powerful methods of self-healing and some tools and tactics to help you on your journey.  What you will learn in this episode: How you can join me for FREE and kickstart your 2023 healing journey Why we need to heal from a bottom-up approach instead of a top-down approach How the most powerful method of healing comes from within If you’re ready to start the new year off on the right foot and leave the narcissist behind, join me for a 3-Day FREE New Year, New You, No Narcissist Bootcamp starting on January 9th! During this Bootcamp, I'll be sharing my post-traumatic growth trifecta and my trauma-informed practice with positive psychology to help you not just survive, but thrive. We'll be exploring exercises, tools, and tactics to help you get 2023 off to a great start so you can step into post-traumatic growth. Sign up now at https://carolinestrawson.com/bootcamp and let's start this new year together! Resources: Join my FREE 2023 Bootcamp: https://carolinestrawson.com/bootcamp Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Today we are joined by Houa Utech, a Trauma-Informed Coach and advocate who specializes in working with women recovering from betrayal trauma, covert narcissistic abuse, divorce, and post-separation abuse. Houa has a background in social work and has spent time volunteering in domestic violence shelters, but it wasn't until she experienced abuse in her own relationship that she fully understood the impact of this type of abuse. A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode: The manipulative tactics of narcissists, how they use fake empathy to achieve their goals Distinguishing narcissistic abuse from unhealthy relationships How to find the right support and identify a helpful professional Houa has made it her mission to bring awareness, education, and healing resources to individuals, families, organizations, and communities, as she believes that abuse and trauma are often misunderstood, misdiagnosed, and disregarded. We’ll also delve into the flawed family court system and the efforts being made by Houa, based on her personal experience, to support those navigating this process. Houa will have her own podcast soon, This Emboldened Life, which aims to offer education, resources, survivor stories, and a sense of community for women who have experienced covert narcissistic abuse, betrayal trauma, and abuse by professionals in the family court system. Connect with Houa: Email: houa@houautech.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/houa_utech/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/houautech Resources: The Unseen Wounds of Women: https://www.lulu.com/shop/houa-utech/the-unseen-wounds-of-women/paperback/product-n4dqnp.html?page=1&pageSize=4 Become an Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICC3 Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/