The Forgotten Podcast

Parenting is not for the faint of heart. It takes work every day to understand how to best love our kids, teach them, and correct them. Add to that learning how to parent a child who has gone through trauma, and you realize you need a completely different set of tools. Strategies that may have worked for our biological children now seem to have the opposite effect on our kids. Kristin Berry is the co-founder of The Resilient Caregiver (formerly The Honestly Adoption Company), an author, podcaster, as well as a foster and adoptive parent. She is passionate about helping caregivers learn how to reframe their perspective on their child’s trauma history and respond to behaviors with compassion and connection. Kristin and her husband, Mike, have fostered for nine years and have had 23 children come through their doors. In this episode, Kristin gives practical insight into why traditional parenting doesn’t work for kids who have experienced trauma, how you can parent in a way that promotes connection, and how to take away the power of negative behaviors. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/kristin-berry-trauma-informed/

Have you wanted to foster or adopt but just don’t know if it’s the “right time?” My guest for this episode can relate! Jason Johnson and his wife knew they wanted to become foster parents, but were unsure when they should pursue it or how it might affect their biological children. Jason is a speaker, writer, former pastor, and church planter who encourages families and equips church and organizational leaders on their foster care and adoption journeys. He is also the Director of Church Mobilization and Engagement with Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO). Jason has a deep passion for seeing the gospel catalyze a movement of foster care in the church around the world. Jason and his wife, Emily, are foster and adoptive parents who live in Texas with their four daughters. In this episode, you’ll hear how Jason started his foster care journey, how to find the “perfect” time to foster or adopt, tips for navigating the concern of loving a child that might leave your family, and learn a new way to look at comments from strangers about your adoptive or foster family. Whether you are currently a foster parent, are considering becoming one, or know someone who is, I know you will be encouraged by what Jason shares in this conversation! Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jason-johnson-perfect-time/

Does this sound familiar to you? The child in your care comes home from school and after having a snack and telling you about their day, you sit down to help them with their homework. In an instant, it’s like you have an entirely different child. They throw themselves on the floor in rage or even check out entirely at the mere mention of homework. Or maybe you receive what feels like daily calls from their school updating you about something that happened during the day or asking you to come pick them up early. These are just a couple of many scenarios you may find yourself in when caring for a child who has experienced trauma. It can feel like all the tactics you’ve learned or used in the past don’t work anymore. My guest today can relate! Cherilyn Orr has a background in education spanning from the pre-school to university level along with extensive professional development in trauma-informed care. Launched out of her own need as a parent to help her children, Cherilyn developed the Stoplight Approach which simplifies complex brain science into a common language to transform relationships. She is a mother to many—three biological, four adopted, and multiple children through foster care. In this episode, you’ll learn what is going on inside your child’s brain in these chaotic moments, what the Stoplight Approach is, and some practical tools for trauma-informed care to add to your toolbelt. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/cherilyn-orr-248/

What happens when a child ages out of foster care? In addition to processing the grief of what they’ve lost, children in this circumstance have to navigate the world as an adult sometimes completely on their own. This is the story of my guest today. Jessica Cawthorn and her siblings were cared for by extended family after the death of her parents. But in the 9th Grade, Jessica formally entered foster care and aged out of the foster care system at 18 years old. Today, Jessica works for the Administration of Children and Families and is a Texas CASA Board Member. She is married to her husband, Jonathan, and they have three children together—two through adoption and one by birth. In this conversation, you’ll hear some of the circumstances that led to a failed adoption, how Jessica faced aging out on her own, and practical ways we can support children who are about to age out of care. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jessica-cawthorn-247/

“I may be single and fostering by myself, but I am far from alone.” Community is a crucial aspect of anyone’s journey of becoming a foster parent as you navigate court dates, visitations, doctor’s appointments, school activities, big emotions, and more. When you’re a single foster parent, juggling all of those dynamics can be even more complex. Emma Finton had a passion ever since she was young to become a foster parent, and ultimately became a licensed foster parent in November of 2022. She is currently providing care for two children. On top of that, she enjoys her work as a nanny. In this episode, Emma shares how she knew it was the right time to become a foster parent, the challenges of being a single foster mom, tips she uses to manage the chaos, and the importance of having a supportive community around you. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/emma-finton-246/

At four years old, Sheena Wood was told that she had to make herself “adoptable.” She had medical challenges with her eyesight, feeling lost and alone as she navigated the journey of foster care, moving from foster home to foster home throughout her early childhood. She felt rejected and didn’t know if anyone would want her or if she would be able to find a place to belong. Today, Sheena is a mother of five, married to her college sweetheart, and serves in a church in Florida along with her husband, Josh. In this episode, Sheena shares what it was like to experience foster care, how well-intentioned advice can go wrong, why our words matter as caregivers to children who have experienced trauma, and why “Amazing Grace” helped her feel truly seen. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/sheena-wood-245/

Regardless of our place in the foster care community, understanding who we are, who we belong to, and where our sense of security comes from is vital to our confidence in where we belong. It is such an honor to have Trisha Priebe on the podcast. She’s an adoptee and adoptive mom who serves as the Sr. Communications Coordinator for Lifesong for Orphans. Trisha is also a speaker and writer who has published 16 books. She lives in Michigan's Upper Peninsula, where she is wife to her husband, Luke, and is mom to three. In this episode, we explore why every adoptee’s experience is unique, how foster care and adoption teach us the complexity of love, why parenting any child is a leap of faith, and the importance of helping our children identify truth. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/trisha-priebe-244/

This week, I have a powerful story to share with you from a former foster child, adoptee, and advocate for human rights. I am honored to introduce you to my guest, Dr. Mary Ann McMillan. She is a passionate advocate for foster youth and adoptees, whose advocacy is deeply personal because it’s inspired by her own experience as an adoptee who spent many years in foster care. Mary Ann serves as a professor and administrator at Jessup University in California and has previously served as a missionary in Ukraine and the Czech Republic, leading trainings in nearly 30 countries. In this episode, you’ll hear Mary Ann’s personal experience in the foster care system, the importance of understanding and processing your past, the important role therapy has played in her story, and much more. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/mary-ann-mcmillan-243/

When foster care feels overwhelming, how do we hold on to hope? How do we define success? How do we find light when so much feels dark? Nate and Kristen Crew are my guests on the podcast today. They have been married for almost 15 years and have 7 children – four adopted through foster care and three by birth. Rather than a specific “calling” to foster, they pursued foster care out of a desire to live out the basic commands in Scripture to care for those who are vulnerable. Nate is a pastor at CityLight Church in Virginia and together they love to encourage others through what God has taught them. In this episode, you’ll hear how Nate and Kristen strive to live out their calling as Christians, the difference that reliance on God has made in their story, why it doesn’t require a “special moment” to start getting involved with foster care, how to hold on to hope when the journey is hard, and more. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/nate-kristen-crew-242/

For teens (and for any child in foster care), how can we create spaces where they are safe, feel belonging, and develop their sense of independence? How can we give them involvement in the development of what that space looks like? My guest today is a dear friend, Chandler James. Chandler used to be an Advocate Coach here at The Forgotten Initiative and today is the Director of Church Mobilization for The Riverside Project, a nonprofit dedicated to transforming the foster care system in Houston. Chandler and his wife, Caitlin, are foster parents and are currently supporting four teens, three of whom have aged out of foster care and one that they have permanency of. In our conversation, you’ll hear helpful principles for creating a sense of belonging for children who have experienced trauma, the challenges they’ve experienced of supporting teens as young parents, how to communicate boundaries while providing independence, the importance of caring for teens in foster care, and so much more. Find links to resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/chandler-james-241/