The Forgotten Podcast

It’s not uncommon for children impacted by foster care or adoption to desire to find answers, know where they came from, and understand the reason their life has looked the way it has. It can lead many children to question their identity or even wonder if they will ever find a sense of peace at all. Anna Bernacki grew up in an adoptive home after being placed in foster care as an infant. As a teenager, she began to long for that special biological bond she felt would come from her biological parents. But after meeting her biological mother, Anna was disappointed to find that in her experience, that special connection she had longed for was still missing. It wasn’t until Anna and her husband, Brian, were foster parents for six years and then adoptive parents to two sibling sets of two (four adoptive children in total!) that she would find healing and come to terms with the identity she carried outside of biological connection. I really enjoyed my conversation with Anna and appreciated her openness about her story and experiences. I hope you do too! Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/anna-bernacki-191/ Join Team 3:10 (a generous donor has offered a matching grant up to $20,000 through the end of July!): https://theforgotteninitiative.org/team310/

Back in 2009, trauma-informed care wasn’t discussed as much as it is today and many families were not as open about the hardships that came along with an adoption. Kara Higgins always knew she wanted to grow her family by adoption, and she and her husband, Ryan, later had the opportunity to do so when adoptions opened up in Rwanda. That’s when she came face-to-face with trauma at a time when very few realized what it meant. Kara is the mother to six children through foster care, adoption, and biology. She and her husband founded Imana Kids, which is an orphan care ministry with an educational sponsorship program in Rwanda focusing on trauma-informed interventions, learning, and care. Kara has more than twenty-four years of experience as an international healthcare provider and orphan care advocate for some of the most vulnerable populations of women and orphans, and it was an honor to speak with her today. In this episode, Kara shares openly about her journey to understanding trauma-informed care, how her expectations of adoption matched up to reality, when she discovered that trauma isn’t just for foster children, and why connection makes all the difference in the world. This really is one you don’t want to miss. Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/kara-higgins-190/ Join Team 3:10 (a generous donor has offered a matching grant up to $20,000!): https://theforgotteninitiative.org/team310/

Welcome to a VERY special episode of The Forgotten Podcast. We are going to be doing things a little bit differently because we just hit and surpassed a huge milestone. The Forgotten Podcast has reached the 1 million download mark! Can you believe this?!? We have listeners in all 50 states and over 150 countries around the world. I want to express my heartfelt thanks to you for being a part of this amazing community. Thank you for sharing, listening, and supporting our work here. It is a joy to walk with you and to share a big opportunity with you in this episode. A generous ministry partner has offered a matching grant for $20,000 to help us double our impact through the month of July. This means when you join our community of givers with a gift of any amount now through the end of July, your gift will be doubled! Team 3:10, which is based on the Bible verse in Malachi 3:10, is our community of podcast listeners and other givers who share the dream of seeing God throw open the floodgates of Heaven so that every child, parent, and worker in foster care will know they are not alone. In today’s episode, I am reminiscing about some of my personal favorite parts of the podcast, reviews we’ve received, what’s on the horizon, and more about this matching grant. Listen in and celebrate this milestone with us! 🎉 Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/one-million-downloads/ Team 3:10: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/team310/

My guest today experienced a childhood filled with painful circumstances, parents who struggled with drug addiction, and the death of his father at the age of seven. You can imagine the amount of trauma and instability he experienced growing up. Corey Johnston, in spite of the instability of his mother, always longed to feel like her son. God was gracious to invite Corey into a relationship with Him. And as an adult, he gave his life to Christ and started a church plant. But even after that, he would encounter unmet hopes through a miscarriage that would eventually open the door to fostering and then later adopting his son. Corey shares with us why it feels so difficult when hopes are unmet, how to process grief, and many more nuggets of wisdom along the way. I was blessed by Corey’s story as I have personally experienced unmet hopes through a failed adoption. If you’ve ever wondered, “God, how can you make this good?,” then you won’t want to miss this episode. Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/corey-johnston-188/ Get 10% off BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/tfi

My guest today is proof that awareness leads to action, and that a passion for supporting the foster care community can span generations. Once you become aware of the needs, have seen them firsthand, or have seen your own family foster, it is hard not to answer the call to take on a supporting role within the foster care community. Sarah Hamaker first saw foster care in action from her own parents. They started fostering when she was a teenager and had a total of more than 40 children in their home over 30 years. This is initially what inspired her to be a foster parent herself. In addition to being a second-generation foster parent, Sarah is a therapeutic foster parent, speaker, award-winning author, podcaster, biblical parenting coach, and certified Leadership Parenting Coach™. She is passionate about helping parents develop strong relationships with their children. In this episode, Sarah is sharing about how your impact goes beyond the children that are in your home, what you should do if you feel a pull towards foster care, why crying when a child in foster care leaves your home can be a gift to them, and so much more. Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/sarah-hamaker-187/ Get 10% off BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/tfi

Today’s guest defines trauma as something that impacts your ability to cope in everyday life. Trauma can also affect multiple generations and start a cycle that is difficult to escape. Cordelia Cranshaw Skeete has experienced this cycle of generational trauma. As a former foster youth, she experienced the deep trauma of multiple transitions, the loss of connection to biological family, and other traumatic events. But through all the struggles she experienced, she was able to find beauty too. Cordelia is a former foster youth, foster system advocate, coach, author, speaker, former Miss District of Columbia USA 2019, founder of Acts of Random Kindness (a nonprofit that provides resources to children and families facing life challenges), and Licensed Graduate Social Worker. Her greatest passion is to bring healing to children and families who have experienced trauma. This was such a special conversation. I hope you are as encouraged as I was by Cordelia’s willingness to share her story and her powerful perspective on generational trauma. She is a cycle-breaker! Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/cordelia-cranshaw-186/ Get 10% off BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/tfi

Since May is National Foster Care Awareness Month, I will be bringing you stories every week from the various perspectives of the foster care community—agency workers, foster parents, vulnerable adults, and children. Did you know that 30% of children who enter into foster care are teens? The shift into foster care is a lifelong challenge for children of any age, but uniquely so for teens. That grief journey is deep and complex, as it also often involves giving up a role in life that they are used to fulfilling. Melissa Smallwood found herself in the foster care system as a teenager and, along with the trauma she had experienced, her foster care experience had a lasting impact on her life. She moved from being a primary caregiver to her two brothers to the role of a foster child. Through her journey, she has found healing and pursued a career as a therapist who works primarily with children and teens who have been or are in the foster care system. Melissa is now a wife and mom of seven, several of which joined her family through adoption and foster care, as well as “Mimi” to five. I hope you find encouragement and support through her story! (Remember: Only until the end of May, applications are still open for YOU to become a TFI Advocate, bridging the gap between foster care agencies and churches right in your local community. This only happens twice a year, so learn more and apply here.) Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/melissa-smallwood-185/ Get 10% off BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/tfi

Since May is National Foster Care Awareness Month, I will be bringing you stories every week from the various perspectives of the foster care community—agency workers, foster parents, vulnerable adults, and children. Sometimes seeing another family involved in foster care can change someone’s mind from “I could never be a foster parent” to “I can do this.” Sarah Butler, TFI Advocate in Conecuh County, AL, didn’t imagine she would be able to be a foster parent. But after seeing another family foster, she saw it was possible and she and her husband felt God’s call to pursue it. Immediately after completing the requirements to be foster parents, they were told there was a child that needed a place to stay that very night. Since then, the Butlers have had over 30 children come through their home in four years. In this episode, Sarah shares the challenges, blessings, hardships, and joy that comes from fostering, and what it looks like to take a step past the fear of the unknown and into the call that God may have for your family. I hope you are encouraged and inspired by Sarah’s story today! (Remember: Applications are still open for YOU to become a TFI Advocate, bridging the gap between foster care agencies and churches right in your local community. This only happens twice a year! Learn more and apply here.) Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/sarah-butler-184/ Learn More About Samaritan Ministries: https://samaritanministries.org/theforgottenpodcast

Since May is National Foster Care Awareness Month, I will be bringing you stories every week from the various perspectives of the foster care community—agency workers, foster parents, vulnerable adults, and children. Will I be able to protect my biological children?Do I need to keep the natural birth order of my biological children intact in order to foster successfully?I’ve heard that children are resilient, so do I need to worry about my biological children? I’ve heard questions like these from many in the foster care community, and I remember asking some of them myself when we first started the process of becoming foster parents. Just as much as a new placement brings up challenging emotions for children in foster care, the same is true for our biological children. However, there isn’t as big of a focus on supporting biological children as they navigate the transition of welcoming new children into your home and dealing with the grief when they have to say goodbye to someone they may consider their sibling. To help us understand more about how to support our biological children as we foster is Daniela Coats. Daniela is not only a Licensed Master Social Worker, but she is also a biological child of parents who fostered and eventually adopted. So she knows firsthand the difficult emotions that many biological children face alone. Daniela and her husband live in Texas with their six children, four by adoption and two by birth. Listen in! (Remember: Applications are now open for YOU to become a TFI Advocate, bridging the gap between foster care agencies and churches right in your local community. This only happens twice a year! Learn more and apply here.) Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/daniela-coats-183/ Learn More About Samaritan Ministries: https://samaritanministries.org/theforgottenpodcast

Since May is National Foster Care Awareness Month, I will be bringing you stories every week from the various perspectives of the foster care community—agency workers, foster parents, vulnerable adults, and children. In today’s episode, I have the opportunity to talk with Dairius Kawewahi. Dairius entered foster care due to the abuse he and his brother suffered from their biological father. Although Dairius was unaware that the abuse he suffered wasn’t normal, the effects of his early childhood and time in five different foster homes would have a lasting impact on his life. Just like Dairius’s middle name means, he is a young man with so much wisdom. I am grateful that he shared his story of overcoming impossible circumstances, learning to offer forgiveness, and discovering how to release the grasp his past held on him. His life is now marked by hope and healing, and I know it will serve as an encouragement to you. Listen in! (Applications are now open for YOU to become a TFI Advocate, bridging the gap between foster care agencies and churches right in your local community. This only happens twice a year! Learn more and apply here.) Show Notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/dairius-kawewahi-182/ Learn More About Samaritan Ministries: https://samaritanministries.org/theforgottenpodcast