The Forgotten Podcast

Join host Jami for a powerful conversation with experienced foster parent and trauma-informed care expert, Tera Melber. Tera, the founder of Resound Trauma Education, brings her extensive background—including a master’s degree in human services counseling and a commitment to integrating faith with the latest interpersonal neurobiology research—to the discussion. She shares her 20-year journey into foster care and adoption, highlighting the realization that parenting a child from early adversity requires a special set of skills and a Christian framework for care that wasn't always readily available.   Tera delves into the critical need for a trauma-informed approach to parenting and ministry, illustrating how Jesus himself modeled this connection-based care by avoiding shame and fostering safety, as seen in biblical accounts like the woman at the well and Zacchaeus. She also shifts the focus to the pivotal role of the church, encouraging congregations to move beyond rigid expectations. Instead, she advocates for trauma-aware environments—equipping volunteers with co-regulation tools, like "backpack teams"—to ensure foster and kinship families feel safety, connection, and belonging.   Ultimately, Tera’s mission is to combine the research of trauma-informed care with the biblical teachings of Jesus, viewing this work not as a buzzword, but as essential "gospel work." She looks forward to witnessing the church step up to be a unique place of safety, connection, and hope to bring healing and generational change to families navigating the foster care journey.   Links: Learn more at theforgotteninitiative.org More about guest Tera Melber https://www.facebook.com/p/Resound-Trauma-Education-LLC-61560422615470/

In this very special episode, our usual host, Jami Kaeb, is taking a turn in the guest seat. Stepping in to act as the host is our dear friend (and repeat guest) Jamie Finn! The Forgotten Podcast is celebrating 10 years of creating content that serves, equips, and encourages those in the foster care community, as well as exalts the name of Jesus. To help commemorate this milestone, Jami will be the one answering questions and filling us in on some of the most impactful moments from the last 10 years as we look ahead to what’s coming next. In this episode, Jami shares key lessons she’s learned through hosting the podcast, a little bit about how The Forgotten Initiative began, why it matters to hold both the darkness and the light in our stories, and much more. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jamie-finn-284/

My guest for this conversation didn’t set out to have fourteen children in her home. But through every step of her journey, she boldly trusted in the Lord and kept stepping out in faith. Beth van der Wel is not only a biological mom to three, but she is also an adoptive and foster parent to an additional 11 children. Throughout their nearly three decades of marriage, Beth and her husband, Robin, have opened their hearts and their home to however the Lord would lead, which would include welcoming entire sibling groups into their home all at once. From an unexpected nudge toward adoption to watching God bring life and hope to children the world had given up on, Beth has seen firsthand that you don’t have to have a perfect plan to be used by God. Beth recently joined the TFI Team as an Advocate in Marshall County, Alabama. In this episode, Beth shares how she is living out her call to serve vulnerable children, the importance of making caseworkers feel seen and supported, how even 24 hours can have a profound impact on a child’s life, and much more. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/beth-van-der-wel-283/

What should I do if I have a heart for the foster care community, but I can’t open my home to foster right now? We hear this question often. Sometimes it comes from individuals who have fostered before and are simply in a season where they need to pause. Other times we hear it from people who don’t feel called to foster, but still have a deep passion to support vulnerable children and families. No matter which group you fall into, there are so many meaningful roles you can step into to make a difference. Today, we want to highlight one such role—and a foster parent who stepped into this role when her home was at capacity. We’re honored to introduce you to one of our TFI Advocates, Hanna Thrower. Hanna is a dedicated TFI Advocate serving Butler County, Alabama. Her heart for foster care began at a young age, and since then Hanna and her husband, Caleb, have fostered over 20 children, welcomed one adopted child into their family, and are raising three biological children. In this episode, Hanna shares about her foster care journey, how she got started as an Advocate and earned the trust of her local agency, advice she would give someone considering the role of a TFI Advocate, and much more. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/hanna-thrower-282/

It’s no secret that the child welfare system can be frustrating for children, their biological families, and foster families alike. More often than not, agency workers are the people who have to carry the brunt of this frustration. Yet, if we were to take a look behind the scenes, we would see individuals who care deeply about children and families and are doing their best to secure positive outcomes for the people they serve—but they are overworked, overwhelmed, and often trying to keep up with ever-changing policies. My guest for this conversation is deeply familiar with nearly every part of the child welfare system, from investigations and licensing to prevention and support. Abraham Choate has spent years serving children and families through the Washington Department of Children, Youth, and Families. He’s also a licensed social worker who provides counseling part-time. Abe’s story and perspective offer us a unique look into the realities of child welfare, helping us understand how we can better support and partner with our local workers. In this episode, Abraham shares some of the inner workings on the agency side of child welfare, the stressful environment agency workers are thrust into, the importance of everyone having healthy boundaries, and much more. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/abraham-choate-281/

The child welfare system is far from perfect. However, numerous individuals, agency workers, and organizations like us are working faithfully to help support and uplift the children and families within that system. Our guest today knows this system intimately, as he has worked within it for over 40 years. Norm Suire worked first at Elgin Mental Health Center before transitioning to the Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS). With a lifetime of experience in child welfare, Norm brings such wisdom and honesty about both the joys and challenges of this work. He is also a husband and father of three sons and a proud grandfather of five. In this episode, Norm shares practical advice for the day-to-day life of a foster parent, insights into how agency and social workers are required to operate within the system, an encouraging perspective to adopt as we work with children and families, and much more. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/norm-suire-280/

Foster care has a way of changing how we see the world. It asks us to step into hard places, stay present, and let God reshape our perspective. For our latest guest, that’s meant gaining a richer perspective on biological parents, a deeper appreciation for the beauty and challenges of caring for children with disabilities, and so much more. Crystal Paine and her husband have been foster parents to two precious children—one who was medically fragile and reunified with his biological mom, and one who was born premature with significant disabilities, whom they later adopted. Crystal is passionate about supporting biological parents, advocating for children with disabilities, and living out the Gospel through foster care and adoption. In this episode, Crystal shares about leaning on our faith when we’re facing challenges that can be intimidating, how we can be intentional about offering dignity and grace to biological parents, some of the unique aspects of fostering a child with disabilities, and much more. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/crystal-paine-279/

“When trauma is our teacher, we are ill-equipped to live healthy lives in healthy environments. What we learn, we live.” We know that trauma often accompanies children when they enter the child welfare system. Usually, we talk about the effects of trauma and how caregivers can respond with support. Today, we’re looking at trauma through the lens of personal history to understand how individuals can discover, address, and heal the trauma in their own stories. Joining us to offer insights on “Story-Informed Trauma Therapy” (SITT), the method he created, is Byron Kehler. Byron is a Trauma Therapist with a private practice in Portland, Oregon. He’s here to help us understand the stories that lie behind hard behaviors and explore how we can respond with compassion, wisdom, and hope. In this episode, you’ll hear how best to help children while keeping their stories in mind, the power of helping children who have endured trauma maintain a sense of control, why our pasts can have such a big influence on our patterns today, and much more. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/byron-kehler-278/

Whether it’s across the world or in all four corners of her home, my guest today has over two decades of experience in the foster care and adoptive community. Beth Guckenberger lives in Cincinnati, Ohio with her husband, Todd. Together, they serve as the Co-Executive Directors of Back2Back Ministries, a nonprofit dedicated to providing comprehensive care to vulnerable children and families worldwide. After graduating from Indiana University, the Guckenbergers moved to Monterrey, Mexico, where they lived for 15 years. Between biological, foster, and adopted children, they have raised eleven children. Today, Beth travels and speaks regularly at conferences, youth gatherings, and church services about “reckless faith.” In this episode, you’ll hear the power of trusting God’s plan even when things feel overwhelming, strategies for maintaining a strong marriage in the midst of demanding family responsibilities, some of the hardships and joys that come with stepping into hard places, and much more! Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/beth-guckenberger-277/

Adoption and foster care are often depicted in dramatic ways in the media.  Whether it’s an adult suddenly discovering the truth that they were adopted or a depiction of constant conflict between a child involved in the foster care system and their caregivers, media can easily give us a skewed perspective of what life is actually like for the real people navigating these situations.  That’s why it’s so important to listen to the real voices of children, families, and workers in the foster care community—not to chase sensational details, but to approach their stories with compassionate curiosity. When we do, we discover that each journey is unique, that many see their experiences as stories of strength rather than sorrow, and that every person’s life is far richer than a single chapter. My guest for this conversation knows this firsthand. While adoption isn’t the defining feature of her daily identity, it has profoundly shaped her perspective. Hope Watts was adopted through the foster care system as a young child. Today, she enjoys raising awareness about foster care and encouraging others with a message of quiet resilience.  In this episode, you’ll hear the importance of holding space for each other’s stories, some powerful encouragement for foster parents, how to meet people with compassion, and much more. Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/hope-watts-276/