Safe Space Radio

This episode of Safe Space Radio features author and professor Dr. Vernon Wiehe. He talks about sibling abuse and how it differs from sibling rivalry in a pattern of frequent victimization of one sibling at the hands of another. Dr. Wiehe points out that sibling abuse is even more common that domestic violence or child abuse, but is often minimized by parents. He describes ways to prevent it, such as not leaving younger children alone in the care of their older siblings if younger siblings don’t feel safe, talking to children openly about violence and sexuality, setting boundaries, listening to children and believing them. The post Sibling Abuse with Vernon Wiehe appeared first on Safe Space Radio.

Laurie Kramer is a researcher and directs the More Fun with Sisters and Brothers program, which supports kids ages 4-8 getting along with their siblings. Laurie explains that parental attempts at conflict resolution often result in separating the kids. Her program teaches siblings core skills of taking each other’s perspective, managing their own strong emotions, and not assuming the worst about the other’s intention.  She teaches kids to Stop, Think, and Talk as a way to get out of conflict. The post Sibling Ambivalence with Laurie Kramer appeared first on Safe Space Radio.

This episode features an interview with psychotherapist and author Dr. Jeanne Safer, who works on chronic sibling tension and non-communication. Jeanne describes the phenomenon of “sibspeak,” where no real communication takes place except the recitation of grievances, the discharge of obligations, and endless attempts to fix the other person. She encourages siblings to take the initiative in naming what is going on directly and asking about the feelings and experiences of each other. This is especially important in situations where parental favoritism is an issue. She encourages the less favored sibling not to let this fact define them as righteous and resentful victims, but to focus on the ways they do indeed have enough in the present. Jeanne closes with a story about Freud’s sibling, and a description of her new book: Cain’s Legacy: Liberating Siblings From a Lifetime of Rage, Shame, Secrecy and Regret. The post Adult Sibling Strife with Jeanne Safer appeared first on Safe Space Radio.

Frank is the father of two boys, and he is also a gay man. In this interview, Frank talks about always wanting children and how he and his husband have taken steps to protect their children from homophobia and find welcoming communities. Frank also describes his experience of finding a surrogate to conceive and bear the child, and how their family has stayed connected to their surrogate. Frank explores assumptions people make about his ability to nurture and take care of his children, and the intrusive offers of help he sometimes receives in public settings. The post Being a Gay Father with Frank appeared first on Safe Space Radio.

Psychologist and author Dr. Patricia Papernow talks about the challenges of step-family living, including insider/outsider dynamics and the complicated set of losses and loyalty that step-parents can represent for a child. Patricia talks about her book, Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn’t.  The post Step-Families and Step-Parenting with Patricia Papernow appeared first on Safe Space Radio.

Catherine Anderson is a white public school teacher and writer. In this episode of Safe Space Radio she talks about adopting her son Sam, who is Black. Catherine describes her decision to adopt and how she thought she understood racism before parenting. She describes her experience of those “grocery store moments”  when she has to respond to other people’s surprise and inappropriate comments in front of her son. She also describes the ways that she talks to Sam about race, and the ways that she, as a white woman, feels she can and cannot prepare him to be a black man in Maine. You can find her blog at mamacandtheboys.com.   The post Interracial Adoption with Catherine Anderson appeared first on Safe Space Radio.

Deb Gallagher created her family through “the messy miracle of international adoption.” Deb talks about the homophobia she encountered as a lesbian seeking to adopt a child both domestically and internationally, and the way she had to hide parts of her identity to have any chance at adoption.  She describes her grief at bringing a child away from her home culture and language to a country that is so racist, and observes the many ways that her daughter’s experience of being in this culture is so different from her own as a white person. The post International Adoption with Deb Gallagher appeared first on Safe Space Radio.

This episode features clinical social worker and birth mother Marilyn Bronzi, who had a child “out of wedlock” in 1966. She remembers the shame of her choice and how she’s made peace with it in different ways over the years. She also describes the experience of reunification with her daughter Lisa, and the ways that she and Lisa’s family have been able to come together. Marilyn affirms that giving up her child was an expression of love, and of wanting her to have the best life she could have. The post Giving Up a Child For Adoption with Marilyn Bronzi appeared first on Safe Space Radio.

Psychologist, researcher and author Diane Ehrensaft talks about the psychological experience of parenting children conceived through the assistance of a donor. Diane describes the challenges parents face in coping with “genetic assymetry” between the parents, and fears that disclosing to the child will undermine bonding with the non-biological parent. Diane also speaks of the challenges for the child who may experience, “genealogical bewilderment” if the donor is anonymous, and their own need to establish a sense of identity and belonging. Diane affirms the value of open discussion in families that decrease the potential shame and ultimately affirm the deep bonds that parents have with their children. The post Donor-Assisted Reproduction with Diane Ehrensaft appeared first on Safe Space Radio.

This episode of Safe Space Radio features author, adoptee and clinician Joyce Maguire Pavao as she talks about parenting an adopted child. Joyce describes the changing demographics of adopted children, and how adopted children are increasingly older and may have experienced trauma as well as the loss of their birth family. Joyce asserts that “adoption doesn’t fix anything,” and that each member of the adoptive relationship will still need to grieve their losses. She describes ways that families can honor the birth family and reassures parents that their child will not be confused about who their parents are, because they know so well who has raised them. Joyce describes the importance of early disclosure to adopted children about their own origins, and also tells her own story of finding and reconnecting with her birth family, with the support of her parents. The post Adoption and Parenting with Joyce Maguire Pavao appeared first on Safe Space Radio.