Crafting Solutions to Conflict

Every year, The Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR) celebrates Conflict Resolution Day. This year it’s on October 15th. ACR is an international, professional organization enhancing the practice and public understanding of conflict resolution. Members include mediators, arbitrators, educators and other conflict resolution practitioners. ACR’s Mission: ACR gives voice to the choices for quality conflict resolution.ACR’s Vision:  All people know their choices for conflict resolution. The key word is choices: we make choices about how we will handle conflict. In recognition of Conflict Resolution Day, ACR shared some quotes with members.Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional. – Max LucadoConflict is the beginning of consciousness. – M. Esther HardingIn a conflict, being willing to change allows you to move from a point of view to a viewing point – A higher, more expansive place, from which you can see both sides. – Thomas Crum Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. – Winston ChurchillLearn more at acrnet.orgDo you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

An ombuds helps individuals and groups to resolve conflicts and concerns.Chuck explains how the term ombudsman comes originally from the Swedish and means “representative”. Today you may hear ombuds, ombudsman, or ombudsperson. According to the International Ombudsman Association: “Ombudsmen work in all types of organizations, including government agencies, colleges and universities, corporations, hospitals and other medical facilities, and news organizations. There are different types of ombudsmen with different roles, functional responsibilities, and standards of practice including organizational ombudsman, classical ombudsman, and advocate ombudsman.” The organizational ombuds may be the most frequently encountered. As Chuck notes, the organizational ombuds benefits individuals and organizations – with the principle of confidentiality serving an essential function.You can learn more at the IOA website: https://www.ombudsassociation.org/ and reach Chuck at choward@ombudsassociation.org.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Considering what we’re missing can clarify why someone disagrees with us.When we are in conflict and can’t understand how someone can hold the position they do, we can consider if we are missing something. Do we have partial information? Or outdated information? Does the other person have a perspective we don’t grasp? We ask ourselves what we’re missing. We can also ask the other person – with genuine curiosity. Even if no minds are changed immediately, channels of communication may be opened or strengthened.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Nonviolent Communication: communicating with clarity and empathy.Dr. Marshall Rosenberg developed the concept of Nonviolent Communication – or NVC – and founded the Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC). Very generally, the NVC approach can be broken down into four parts: observing a situation -- without evaluation or judgment; noticing the feelings the situation brings to the surface; understanding what need or value is causing those feelings; and requesting concrete actions that you would like taken that would better meet your needs. You can learn more about NVC and the Center here: https://www.cnvc.org/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

Motivational Interviewing helps people resolve inner conflicts and make changes that help them reach goals.Joseph discussed his work as a financial and life planner and how he uses Motivational Interviewing to help his clients better understand how to match their behaviors to the goals they identify for themselves. Motivational Interviewing was developed by clinical psychologists William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick in the area of addiction treatment. Its principles apply much more broadly and can help people resolve ambivalent or contradictory feelings and move to positive change.You can learn more about Motivational Interviewing through the Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers at https://motivationalinterviewing.org/. You can learn more about Josephs’ firm at https://abundancewp.com. You can contact him at joseph@abundancewp.com  or 510.933.8347.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

In mediation, a trained neutral helps with conflict resolution; in facilitation, there is less or no focus on conflict.Unlike facilitation, in mediation there is always an active dispute. In facilitation, there may be one brewing, one resolved but the resolution not yet implemented, or no dispute at all – just an interest in considering a topic or topics with care. You can learn more at the American Bar Association’s Dispute Resolution Section webpage, in the public access section: https://www.americanbar.org/groups/dispute_resolution/resources/DisputeResolutionProcesses/mediation/andhttps://www.americanbar.org/groups/dispute_resolution/resources/DisputeResolutionProcesses/facilitation/. The International Association of Facilitators has its own description of facilitation: https://www.iaf-world.org/site/facilitators.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

William Ury’s idea of going to the balcony helps in a challenging conversation. In his book Getting Past No he sets out the idea of Going to the Balcony. Trying that strategy can help you three ways: 1) you avoid a knee-jerk reaction; 2) you can a wider perspective; 3) you take a pause – of whatever length is best – in engaging in the conflict.  Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

Better recognition of our body’s role in emotions will help us to use them as an asset.Paula talked with me about how she came to learn about the importance of addressing our body – and not just our mind – when dealing with emotions and stress. You can learn more and reach Paula at paula@brainupgrade.biz, phone: 646.554.346, or https://www.naturalintelligencesystems.com/.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

The Serenity Prayer provides insights on both personal and interpersonal conflict. Many know the poem credited to the American theologian, Reinhold Niebuhr, and that’s how we hear about the inner conflict in trying to follow its hopes. A different challenge lies in the interpersonal conflicts of different perspectives about what is impossible to change, and the courage to change what can be changed. It may take true wisdom to convince someone else to change their perspective to yours.God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,courage to change the things I can,and wisdom to know the difference.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

We’re all in a global pandemic, but we aren’t all in the same situation.Damian Barr’s poem is full of wisdom:I heard that we are in the same boat. But it's not that.We are in the same storm, but not in the same boat.Your ship can be shipwrecked and mine might not be.Or vice versa.For some, quarantine in optimal: a moment of reflection, or reconnection.Easy, in flip flops, with a whiskey or tea.For others, this is a desperate crisis.For others, it is facing loneliness.For some, peace, rest time, vacation.Yet for others, Torture: How am I going to pay muy bills?Some were concerned about a brand of chocolate for Easter (this year there were no rich chocolates).Others were concerned about the bread for the weekend, or if the noodles would last for a few more days.Some were in their "home office".Others are looking through trash to survive.Some want to go back to work because they are running out of money.Others want to kill those who break the quarantine.Some need to break the quarantine to stand in line at the banks.Others to escape.Others criticize the government for the lines.Some have experienced the near-death of the virus, some have already lost someone from it, and some believe they are infallible and will be blown away if or when this hits someone they know.Some have faith in God and expect miracles during 2020. Others say the worse is yet to come. So, friends, we are not in the same boat.We are going through a time when our perceptions and needs are completely different. And each one will emerge, in his own way, from that storm.It is very important to see beyond what is seen at first glance. Not just looking, more than looking, seeing.See beyond the political party, beyond biases, beyond the nose on your face. Do not judge the good life of the other, do not condemn the bad life of the other.Don't be a judge.Let us not judge the one who lacks, as well as the one who exceeds him. We are on different ships looking to survive. Let everyone navigate their route with respect, empathy and responsibility. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.