Crafting Solutions to Conflict

Enterprising families and legacy families need to embrace a balance between unity and independence. Unity that is more accurately described as forced lockstep is dangerous. At the same time, honoring family values and the value of staying together will temper leaning too far into independence.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

:Trauma plays a significant and underappreciated role in conflict. What triggers us and what triggers others is a reflection of our past traumatic experiences: as individuals, as descendants, and as a reflection of our times.  Monica Clare is a mediator and leadership coach who focuses on family businesses. We discuss her personal experiences and the methodologies she uses. Learn more about Otto Scharmer’s Theory U here: https://www.ottoscharmer.com/theoryu and The Presencing Institute here: https://www.presencing.org/. Learn more about Thomas Huebl and his work on healing collective trauma and the Collective Trauma Integration Process here: https://thomashuebl.com/. The work of Clare Graves led to the development of the theory of Spiral Dynamics; Ken Wilber built on that theory with his Integral Theory.Learn more about Monica at her website or on LinkedIn: https://www.monica-clare.ca/ and https://www.linkedin.com/in/monica-clare-508a842/ . You can contact her here: monica@monica-clare.ca.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

The question of timing is worth your attention. It’s not everything, but it is something that can profoundly affect how well conflict is handled. The “when” question has two steps. First step, when to broach the subject of having a conversation. Second, when to have the conversation. Sometimes, but not always, those will be the same. As a first step, you may be seeking the commitment of the other person to address what is going on. For more on the need to seek a commitment to address the conflict, tune in to Episode 39, published on September 25, 2019 – on any podcast app or here: https://bit.ly/2SL2SGs.Broach the subject when the other person (or people) are most likely to be receptive to the overture. Think about the calendar, their schedule, and when this particular person is at their best. Set up for a successful conversation.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

Confirmation bias, the tendency to look only for data that supports an opinion, reinforces negative conflict. We can overcome confirmation bias when we work to be aware of it, we consider where we get information (an “echo chamber” doesn’t help), how we glean information (go beyond sensational headlines), and interpret information (not a knee-jerk acceptance or rejection, but a thoughtful approach). Better still, we can try to avoid surrounding ourselves with people who think just like us.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

Mitzi Perdue has a unique perspective on the importance of family business culture: she was born into the Henderson family, founders of the Sheraton Hotel chain, and she married into the Perdue family, where her husband, Frank, was the head of the family-owned poultry business. Both families are thriving through the generations.Mitzi talked about the importance of families spending time together – starting with Gen1, the first generation, eating meals together. She mentioned the work of Professor Robyn Fivush of Emory University. As the family grows, creating reasons for the family to spend time together becomes essential: holidays, reunions, or other regular, fun events work well. Traditions cement the feeling of family unity. Philanthropy helps families join in a common, positive purpose. Mitzi is dedicated to the fight to stop human trafficking. Learn more at https://www.winthisfight.org/ Win This Fight focuses on “two of the greatest needs of the anti-trafficking community: we raise funds for other anti-trafficking organizations, and we help raise awareness.”Learn more about Mitzi’s passion for helping family businesses thrive through generations here: https://mitziperdue.com/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.    

Disputes and conflicts.  Those of us who spend a lot of time thinking about and dealing with interpersonal disagreements don’t necessarily use those words interchangeably. A dispute has the connotation of a specific point of contention. A conflict, on the other hand, suggests a disagreement that may be longer-lasting or possibly broader.When a dispute erupts between or among people who are in an ongoing relationship, there may also be a conflict beneath it. It’s best to go beneath the dispute to look for an underlying conflict and deal with what you find. Now if you can, later if you can’t.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

:Family Business Mediation helps families and their businesses, large or small, to deal with conflicts effectively. Family businesses are certain to face challenges, by their nature.  Typically, these include: a mix of emotions and money; individuals who wear multiple hats;long-term relationships, expectations, and memories; power imbalances; and a multi-generational time horizon.  This episode provides a brief overview. If you would like to dive deeper, please join Richard Lutringer, Jack Wofford, Natalie McVeigh, and me at the virtual annual conference of the Greater New York Chapter of the Association for Conflict Resolution. On Thursday, June 3, we will offer an interactive presentation on “Family Business Mediation – Addressing Unspoken Factors Driving Business Challenges.” You can register here:https://acrgny.org/ACRGNY-2021-Conference-Schedule-and-SpeakersDo you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

Disagreements can happen in any business relationship.  Startups may face challenges unique to their nature, including issues surrounding the value that each partner is bringing to the venture, when they hope to achieve their goals, and how to onboard employees in the startup environment.  Bryant describes how he came to work with these businesses, and others that attract millennials. We also discuss Bryant’s upcoming book, “The New Middle: Disagreeing with Heart and Mind When it Matters Most.”  In it, he reflects on themes that have arisen in his work in conflict resolution, including the need to treat each other with respect and to remember why they began working together. You can learn more about Bryant and his work at the firm he founded, CollabsHQ, here:   www.collabshq.com. Bryant is active on LinkedIn; you can read his articles and posts, and see book updates here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bryantgalindo/ .Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Gary Friedman, a highly-respected and deeply-experienced mediator, ran for local office in the small Northern California town where he had lived for 40 years. Recently, tensions had flared in town meetings over a few local issues. Amanda Ripley, author of High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out, wrote about his foray into politics in her article, “I Got Obama’d”.https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2021/05/01/conflict-resolution-politics-amanda-ripley-excerpt-484786Starting out with a goal of including everyone, Gary soon fell into the trap of divisive politics, and tensions escalated. He and his allies lost power. He then regained his perspective and worked to help to help his neighbors understand each other – even when they disagreed. Then conflict could lead to something productive, to true problem-solving.What some of us like to call “good conflict”, the creative and collaborative kind.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Use of Restorative Justice in criminal justice and its application in other areas have both grown in recent years. Restorative Justice has a focus beyond punishment of offenders that includes the needs of the victims.  In addition to broader use in the criminal justice arena, Restorative Justice has grown in application to include schools, religious institutions, and societies at large.Howard Zehr, a Restorative Justice pioneer, offers these questions to consider if a process is accurately described as Restorative Justice. Are the wrongs being acknowledged? Are the needs of those who were harmed being addressed? Is the one who committed the harm being encouraged to understand the damage and accept his or her obligation to make right the wrong? Are those involved in or affected by this being invited to be part of the “solution?” Is concern being shown for everyone involved? If the answers to these questions are “no,” then even though it may have restorative elements, it isn’t restorative justice.” https://zehr-institute.org/what-is-rj/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.