De Facto Leaders

In episode 011, I sit down with Katherine Endy from The Family Life Coach. Katherine is a social worker, mom of 3, and doctoral candidate at the University of Maryland. If you’re a parent, you’ve likely spent a lot of time thinking about your kids’ behavior and mental well-being. But how much time do you spend thinking about your OWN mental health and well-being? In this conversation, Katherine share insights from her clinical work, personal experiences as a mom, and her research, including: ✅The problem with most parenting advice out there, and why it shouldn’t all be focused on the child’s behavior. ✅Why giving a child a “time-out” isn’t the best option, and what to do instead. ✅How to figure out what your child REALLY needs during a meltdown. ✅Why rewards and punishment aren’t the best way to manage behavior, and how to set boundaries without negatively impacting your relationship with your child. ✅How to make time for self-care and mindfulness in your daily life (even if you only have 30 seconds to yourself at a time). To learn more about how to connect with Katherine, you can visit her at The Family Life Coach website here.You can also connect with her on Facebook and Instagram.If you want a simple tool that will help you get through daily routines (like homework) with ease, without arguments or constant hand-holding, then checkout the Time Tracking Journal. You can learn how to get instant access here: https://drkarendudekbrannan.com/timejournal The De Facto Leaders podcast was formerly the “Are they 18 yet?®” podcast. As of November 2022, the name of the show has changed, and we’ve shifted from a focus on parenting to a focus on supporting clinicians and educators to design effective services for kids (but parents are still welcome to listen). Episodes published before November 24, 2022 will still contain some of our old branding.  We’re thrilled to be sponsored by IXL. IXL’s comprehensive teaching and learning platform for math, language arts, science, and social studies is accelerating achievement in 95 of the top 100 U.S. school districts. Loved by teachers and backed by independent research from Johns Hopkins University, IXL can help you do the following and more:Simplify and streamline technologySave teachers’ timeReliably meet Tier 1 standardsImprove student performance on state assessments🚀 Ready to see why leading districts trust IXL for their educational needs? Visit IXL.com/BE today to learn more about how IXL can elevate your school or district.

If you or someone you know is going through a divorce with kids involved, you’re not going to want to miss this episode of the Are they 18 yet?™ Podcast.In this episode, I sit down with my sister, Mary Leonard, and talk about how to help your kids build resiliency when coping with big life transitions like divorce.She shares her experience single parenting two young children; including how to thrive when getting through the day alive feels like a chore.Specifically, we talk about:✅Her biggest challenges when she had to start parenting all on her own.✅What she wishes she would have learned as a child when it comes to emotional regulation.✅De-escalation strategies for handling tantrums, avoiding arguments, and teaching your kids emotional intelligence.✅How to play detective when your kids can’t find the words to express what they’re feeling; especially when you have multiple kids who need very different coping strategies.✅The unexpected silver lining of divorce; for both her and her kids.✅What NOT to say to someone who’s going through a divorce.✅How to get through the toughest part of the process so you can set your family up for success. Also, remember to check out my free parent guide where I share the set of skills that kids need in order to stay organized, focused, and motivated during their day-to-day tasks like chores and homework. You can sign up  for the guide here: https://drkarendudekbrannan.com/parentguide The De Facto Leaders podcast was formerly the “Are they 18 yet?®” podcast. As of November 2022, the name of the show has changed, and we’ve shifted from a focus on parenting to a focus on supporting clinicians and educators to design effective services for kids (but parents are still welcome to listen). Episodes published before November 24, 2022 will still contain some of our old branding.  We’re thrilled to be sponsored by IXL. IXL’s comprehensive teaching and learning platform for math, language arts, science, and social studies is accelerating achievement in 95 of the top 100 U.S. school districts. Loved by teachers and backed by independent research from Johns Hopkins University, IXL can help you do the following and more:Simplify and streamline technologySave teachers’ timeReliably meet Tier 1 standardsImprove student performance on state assessments🚀 Ready to see why leading districts trust IXL for their educational needs? Visit IXL.com/BE today to learn more about how IXL can elevate your school or district.

In this episode, I share the second part of my interview with speech-language pathologist and ADHD specialist Mike McLeod from GrowNow Therapy as we continue our conversation about how to support with kids with ADHD and other conditions that impact executive functioning.If you’re someone who easily estimates how long things will take so you can plan ahead, it’s often frustrating when you see other people dawdling or not using their time wisely.But often there are MULTIPLE things going on in their head that are keeping them stuck, and the key to helping them move forward is to be able to “sense time” more consciously and understand the end goal looks and feels like.That’s why in this conversation, Mike shares:✅Tips for helping kids with ADHD develop a sense of time so they can reduce overwhelm and procrastination.✅How incorporating visuals in to your day-to-day routines with your kids can improve their time-management skills and discipline.✅Why motivation issues in kids with ADHD are skill-based and not behavior based, and what specific skills can help move them through daily tasks more easily.✅The impact of technology, gaming, and social media on attention span and social-emotional development; and his recommendations for setting healthy boundaries.If you have a child at home who has a hard time putting their devices down to do non-preferred tasks like homework or chores, you’ll get a ton of value from this interview. The following resources are mentioned in this interview (some are mentioned in episode 008, which is the first half of this conversation, but I’m linking to them again for your convenience):For information on nonverbal working memory, check out Dr. Russell Barkley’s website here.For information on Sara Ward and her resources for supporting kids with Executive Functioning skills and time management, visit her website here.To learn more about Ryan Wexelblatt, the ADHD Dude who coined the term the “Argument Vortex” for kids with ADHD, visit his YouTube Channel here.To connect with Mike McLeod, you can visit his website here, follow him on Instagram at @grownowtherapy or visit his Facebook page here.If you’re a parent who wants to set your kids up for success as adults, then then you’re going to love my free parent guide, which I mentioned in this episode. In the guide, I share the set of skills that kids need in order to stay organized, focused, and motivated during their day-to-day tasks like chores and homework. You can sign up for a copy here: https://drkarendudekbrannan.com/parentguide The De Facto Leaders podcast was formerly the “Are they 18 yet?®” podcast. As of November 2022, the name of the show has changed, and we’ve shifted from a focus on parenting to a focus on supporting clinicians and educators to design effective services for kids (but parents are still welcome to listen). Episodes published before November 24, 2022 will still contain some of our old branding.  We’re thrilled to be sponsored by IXL. IXL’s comprehensive teaching and learning platform for math, language arts, science, and social studies is accelerating achievement in 95 of the top 100 U.S. school districts. Loved by teachers and backed by independent research from Johns Hopkins University, IXL can help you do the following and more:Simplify and streamline technologySave teachers’ timeReliably meet Tier 1 standardsImprove student performance on state assessments🚀 Ready to see why leading districts trust IXL for their educational needs? Visit IXL.com/BE today to learn more about how IXL can elevate your school or district.

When it comes to working with kids who have ADHD, it’s easy to mistake skill-based issues with behavioral issues.That’s why in this interview, I sit down with Mike McLeod, a speech-language pathologist who specializes in ADHD and executive functioning. During this conversation, Mike shares: ✅Red flags of executive dysfunction, how it relates to organization and time management, and why it’s so common in kids with ADHD.✅What the “argument vortex” is, and the reason kids would rather argue with parents than get their work completed (even with simple tasks).✅Why kids with ADHD have such a hard time getting motivated to start work, and what parents can do to support them when this happens.✅Common myths about time management, accountability, and intelligence as it relates to people who have ADHD or related conditions.If you’re supporting a child with ADHD, this is a must listen. Mike has a wealth of knowledge from his work with students and families, and shares a ton of great insights that will help you understand some of your kid’s most challenging habits and tendencies. The following resources are mentioned in this interview:For information on nonverbal working memory, check out Dr. Russell Barkley’s website here.For information on Sara Ward and her resources for supporting kids with Executive Functioning skills and time management, visit her website here.To learn more about Ryan Wexelblatt, the ADHD Dude who coined the term the “Argument Vortex” for kids with ADHD, visit his YouTube Channel here.To connect with Mike McLeod, you can visit his website here, follow him on Instagram at @grownowtherapy or visit his Facebook page here.If you’re a parent who wants to set your kids up for success as adults, then then you’re going to love this free parent guide, which I mentioned in this episode. In this guide, I share the set of skills that kids need in order to stay organized, focused, and motivated during their day-to-day tasks like chores and homework: https://drkarendudekbrannan.com/parentguide The De Facto Leaders podcast was formerly the “Are they 18 yet?®” podcast. As of November 2022, the name of the show has changed, and we’ve shifted from a focus on parenting to a focus on supporting clinicians and educators to design effective services for kids (but parents are still welcome to listen). Episodes published before November 24, 2022 will still contain some of our old branding.  We’re thrilled to be sponsored by IXL. IXL’s comprehensive teaching and learning platform for math, language arts, science, and social studies is accelerating achievement in 95 of the top 100 U.S. school districts. Loved by teachers and backed by independent research from Johns Hopkins University, IXL can help you do the following and more:Simplify and streamline technologySave teachers’ timeReliably meet Tier 1 standardsImprove student performance on state assessments🚀 Ready to see why leading districts trust IXL for their educational needs? Visit IXL.com/BE today to learn more about how IXL can elevate your school or district.

When I worked in the school systems, rewards and behavior charts were a common practice. Even in my training to be a therapist, “positive reinforcement” was often a go-to strategy for managing behaviors and motivating kids to do “non-preferred” tasks.The problem was that for a lot of kids it didn’t work. And what was even worse…sometimes it worked TEMPORARILY, but as soon as the reward went away, so did the motivation to do the task.It left me wondering if relying on external rewards is really helping to build the skills kids need to be independent, intrinsically motivated, responsible people with a good work ethic.I also found myself wondering if “motivation” (or lack there of) was really the problem in the first place.That’s why in this episode I talk about motivation and positive reinforcement for kids who procrastinate, rush through work, struggle to stay organized, or who show impulsive behaviors (often associated with ADHD and related conditions).Specifically, I share:✅Why using rewards often doesn’t work when kids are procrastinating and refusing to do work.✅Why “motivation” is often misunderstood, and why there’s more to the story when kids appear “lazy” or “defiant”.✅The set of skills that are often the “missing link” when kids aren’t consistently responding to positive reinforcement.If you aren’t sure how to support kids in completing homework assignments, chores, or other daily tasks; then you’ll get a lot of insight out of listening to this episode. If you’re a parent who wants to set your kids up for success as adults, then then you’re going to love my free parent guide, which I mentioned in this episode. In this guide, I share the set of skills that kids need in order to stay organized, focused, and motivated during their day-to-day tasks like chores and homework. You can sign up for the guide here: https://drkarendudekbrannan.com/parentguide The De Facto Leaders podcast was formerly the “Are they 18 yet?®” podcast. As of November 2022, the name of the show has changed, and we’ve shifted from a focus on parenting to a focus on supporting clinicians and educators to design effective services for kids (but parents are still welcome to listen). Episodes published before November 24, 2022 will still contain some of our old branding.  We’re thrilled to be sponsored by IXL. IXL’s comprehensive teaching and learning platform for math, language arts, science, and social studies is accelerating achievement in 95 of the top 100 U.S. school districts. Loved by teachers and backed by independent research from Johns Hopkins University, IXL can help you do the following and more:Simplify and streamline technologySave teachers’ timeReliably meet Tier 1 standardsImprove student performance on state assessments🚀 Ready to see why leading districts trust IXL for their educational needs? Visit IXL.com/BE today to learn more about how IXL can elevate your school or district.

Can you change your child's capacity to focus? Or do they just have to play the hand they've been dealt for life? In this episode, Dr. Karen discusses what she's learned through the last 15 years of studying the research and working with school-age kids, as well as the parents and educators who support them.  She also discusses the great "medication debate", including ways it's often mishandled by well-meaning professionals, and also the set of skills your kids need in order to successfully focus  and make forward progress on multi-step tasks that require attention to detail and problem-solving. (Disclaimer: This episode should not be considered medical or legal advice, and should not be used to diagnose or treat any specific medical condition). If you’re a parent who wants to set your kids up for success as adults, then then you’re going to love my free parent guide, which I mentioned in this episode. In this guide, I share the set of skills that kids need in order to stay organized, focused, and motivated during their day-to-day tasks like chores and homework. You can sign up for the guide here: https://drkarendudekbrannan.com/parentguide The De Facto Leaders podcast was formerly the “Are they 18 yet?®” podcast. As of November 2022, the name of the show has changed, and we’ve shifted from a focus on parenting to a focus on supporting clinicians and educators to design effective services for kids (but parents are still welcome to listen). Episodes published before November 24, 2022 will still contain some of our old branding.  We’re thrilled to be sponsored by IXL. IXL’s comprehensive teaching and learning platform for math, language arts, science, and social studies is accelerating achievement in 95 of the top 100 U.S. school districts. Loved by teachers and backed by independent research from Johns Hopkins University, IXL can help you do the following and more:Simplify and streamline technologySave teachers’ timeReliably meet Tier 1 standardsImprove student performance on state assessments🚀 Ready to see why leading districts trust IXL for their educational needs? Visit IXL.com/BE today to learn more about how IXL can elevate your school or district.

We all have a point where the demands of life become too overwhelming and we lose our ability to self-manage and stay disciplined. For people who have a diagnosis of ADHD, that point can come sooner rather than later. In this episode, my husband (Joe) shares what happened when he hit his breaking point, including:His experience growing up with an "almost ADHD" diagnosisHow he managed to fall through the cracks and squeak by in elementary and secondary school. What happened when he went away to college and didn't have his built-in accountability systems (a.k.a., his parents). If you have a kid in K-12 and you want to learn what challenges might lie ahead for your kids and what red flags to look out for in elementary and secondary school, you're going to love this episodeAnd spoiler alert: This story has a happy ending. This is just the first of a two-part interview. (Disclaimer: This episode should not be considered medical or legal advice, and should not be used to diagnose or treat any specific medical condition). If you’re a parent who wants to set your kids up for success as adults, then then you’re going to love my free parent guide, which I mentioned in this episode. In this guide, I share the set of skills that kids need in order to stay organized, focused, and motivated during their day-to-day tasks like chores and homework. You can sign up for the guide here: https://drkarendudekbrannan.com/parentguide The De Facto Leaders podcast was formerly the “Are they 18 yet?®” podcast. As of November 2022, the name of the show has changed, and we’ve shifted from a focus on parenting to a focus on supporting clinicians and educators to design effective services for kids (but parents are still welcome to listen). Episodes published before November 24, 2022 will still contain some of our old branding.  We’re thrilled to be sponsored by IXL. IXL’s comprehensive teaching and learning platform for math, language arts, science, and social studies is accelerating achievement in 95 of the top 100 U.S. school districts. Loved by teachers and backed by independent research from Johns Hopkins University, IXL can help you do the following and more:Simplify and streamline technologySave teachers’ timeReliably meet Tier 1 standardsImprove student performance on state assessments🚀 Ready to see why leading districts trust IXL for their educational needs? Visit IXL.com/BE today to learn more about how IXL can elevate your school or district.

When raising kids in elementary school, junior high, and high school, a lot of parents wonder if they're preparing their kids for what lies ahead in college and adulthood. We can't look in to a crystal ball and predict the future, but we can bring insights from our own failures and successes to the way we parent. That's why in this episode, Joe and I continue our conversation about his experience going through school, including:How he initially failed out of college, but then later went back and got a master's degree from the same university. What he wishes he would have learned after being evaluated for ADHD, and how we bring these insights into the way we parent. How he learned to be more disciplined and structure his environment so you he can perform his best and focus (without using medication). If you want to better prepare your K-12 kids for what lies ahead, you'll get a ton out of listening in to this episode. (Disclaimer: This episode should not be considered medical or legal advice, and should not be used to diagnose or treat any specific medical condition). If you’re a parent who wants to set your kids up for success as adults, then then you’re going to love my free parent guide, which I mentioned in this episode. In this guide, I share the set of skills that kids need in order to stay organized, focused, and motivated during their day-to-day tasks like chores and homework. You can sign up for the guide here: https://drkarendudekbrannan.com/parentguide The De Facto Leaders podcast was formerly the “Are they 18 yet?®” podcast. As of November 2022, the name of the show has changed, and we’ve shifted from a focus on parenting to a focus on supporting clinicians and educators to design effective services for kids (but parents are still welcome to listen). Episodes published before November 24, 2022 will still contain some of our old branding.  We’re thrilled to be sponsored by IXL. IXL’s comprehensive teaching and learning platform for math, language arts, science, and social studies is accelerating achievement in 95 of the top 100 U.S. school districts. Loved by teachers and backed by independent research from Johns Hopkins University, IXL can help you do the following and more:Simplify and streamline technologySave teachers’ timeReliably meet Tier 1 standardsImprove student performance on state assessments🚀 Ready to see why leading districts trust IXL for their educational needs? Visit IXL.com/BE today to learn more about how IXL can elevate your school or district.

Do you find that using organizers, minimizing distractions, or using rewards just don't work when it comes to getting your kids to focus? Does getting your kids to follow through with chores, homework, or other daily tasks seem like pulling teeth?  If so, you're going to love this episode. When it comes to getting kids to follow through on activities that require sustained focus and effort, most people don't realize that improving attention and alertness is just the first step. There is actually a set of skills kids need to develop true autonomy, independence and critical thinking. Without building these skills, kids are unlikely to fully benefit from things like positive reinforcement, productivity strategies, or even diet and medication. That's why in episode 002, Dr. Karen explains a set of essential skills your kids in need to support attention and focus (especially if they have conditions that impact attention span). (Disclaimer: This episode should not be considered medical or legal advice, and should not be used to diagnose or treat any specific medical condition). If you’re a parent who wants to set your kids up for success as adults, then then you’re going to love my free parent guide, which I mentioned in this episode. In this guide, I share the set of skills that kids need in order to stay organized, focused, and motivated during their day-to-day tasks like chores and homework. You can sign up for the guide here: https://drkarendudekbrannan.com/parentguide The De Facto Leaders podcast was formerly the “Are they 18 yet?®” podcast. As of November 2022, the name of the show has changed, and we’ve shifted from a focus on parenting to a focus on supporting clinicians and educators to design effective services for kids (but parents are still welcome to listen). Episodes published before November 24, 2022 will still contain some of our old branding.  We’re thrilled to be sponsored by IXL. IXL’s comprehensive teaching and learning platform for math, language arts, science, and social studies is accelerating achievement in 95 of the top 100 U.S. school districts. Loved by teachers and backed by independent research from Johns Hopkins University, IXL can help you do the following and more:Simplify and streamline technologySave teachers’ timeReliably meet Tier 1 standardsImprove student performance on state assessments🚀 Ready to see why leading districts trust IXL for their educational needs? Visit IXL.com/BE today to learn more about how IXL can elevate your school or district.