Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

🎙️ Dive into a captivating episode of the Messy Family Podcast with Mike and Alicia Hernon! In this edition, titled "Angels Watching Over Us with Fr. Wolfgang Seitz," we explore the fascinating realm of guardian angels and the divine assistance that surrounds our lives. 🌟 Join Mike and Alicia as they welcome Father Wolfgang Seitz from the Order of Canons Regular of the Holy Cross, an expert on the Holy Angels. Fr. Wolfgang shares insights into the deep devotion his order has for the angels and provides a unique perspective on the vital role they play in our lives. 👼Discover the untapped source of strength that our guardian angels offer, and learn about a yearlong consecration program that can deepen your connection with these celestial beings. Fr. Wolfgang's experiences and teachings shed light on how our guardian angels collaborate with us in both natural and supernatural aspects of life. 🏠 As you listen, gain a profound understanding of the Order of Canons Regular of the Holy Cross and their mission to spread devotion to the Holy Angels. Explore the rich history of the order and how it intersects with the powerful tradition of consecration. 🙏 Whether you're a believer seeking to enhance your spiritual journey or simply curious about the divine mysteries, this episode provides valuable insights. Tune in to the Messy Family Podcast and let the wisdom shared by Fr. Wolfgang Seitz inspire you to embrace the unseen yet eternal presence of angels in your life. Don't miss out on this enlightening conversation that may forever change the way you perceive the guardianship of these heavenly beings! 🔗 Subscribe to the Messy Family Podcast for more engaging discussions and practical insights on navigating the beautiful chaos of family life with Mike and Alicia Hernon. Your journey into the messy and miraculous tapestry of familyhood awaits! For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/

In this episode, we look into the world of toys, discussing their impact on children's development and the importance of purposeful and intentional choices in selecting toys for our families. Our special guest, Regina Doman, shares valuable insights into cultivating imagination, creativity, and responsibility in children through thoughtful toy choices. As we explore the role of toys in shaping a child's worldview, we reflect on the significance of simplicity, quality over quantity, and the benefits of open-ended toys like building blocks. We also touch upon the idea of rotating toys to keep a sense of novelty and excitement while minimizing clutter. Regina emphasizes the importance of recognizing the formative nature of the home environment and the valuable lessons children learn through play. We address the common challenges parents face, such as dealing with violent play, and how to navigate these situations with wisdom and balance. To further enrich this discussion, Regina suggests checking out her article on Nova Natural, where she elaborates on her philosophy and approach to toys. We conclude with a prayer for parents, seeking God's guidance and blessings in raising children who embrace the beauty of simplicity, creativity, and responsibility. https://reginadoman.substack.com/p/throwback-friday-toys Your support and prayers contribute to the mission of rebuilding families and making a positive impact on marriages and children. If you've been blessed by what we do, consider making a donation or spreading the word to help us continue our work. https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/ Thank you for joining us on this journey of exploration and reflection. May God bless your families abundantly, and until next time, may the Lord bless you and keep you.

“For it is good to be a child sometimes, and never better than at Christmas, when the mighty Founder was a child Himself.” ~ Charles Dickens Christmas is a magical time for children.  Whether you celebrate Santa, St. Nick, Elf on a Shelf or other traditions, this season is a wonderful time for children to develop wonder and awe.  How do parents do this in a way that encourages their children to keep their eyes on the eternal significance of this holy time?  There are so many things that we can do with our kids that it forces parents to be intentional.  We need to make sure we choose to do those activities that have the most impact on our kids in a way that communicates truth.  Listen in as we share our ideas, but also set realistic expectations during this intensely busy time for parents. 🎄 Resources Mentioned: Explore additional resources on Advent and Christmas traditions by checking out our Advent and Christmas Traditions Book, visit our website for more information. 🌈 Join Us in Creating a Joyful Family Culture! Discover how these traditions not only bring joy and wonder to your home but also form the identity of your children in profound ways. Let's build a community that stands out in love, service, and faith. 🔗 Connect with Us: https://instagram.com/messyfamilyproject?igshid=NGVhN2U2NjQ0Yg== 👍 Like, Share, and Subscribe! If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to give it a thumbs up, share it with your friends, and subscribe for more heartwarming discussions on faith, family, and traditions. 🌟For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/   Key Takeaways: Children celebrate Christmas differently depending on their age There is wonder and beauty in Christmas that we should encourage in our children Parents need to be discerning about the environments that we put our children in   Couple Discussion:  How can we create an environment that communicates truth to our children?  What are the traditions we want to establish in our home for our children?  What needs do our children have right now?  

“The family is where children discover how to be human.” - Archbishop Charles Chaput Over and over again people ask us how to help their kids get along with each other.  We usually respond that of course their kids don’t get along - because they are kids!  That is what you are doing as a parent.  You are the ones teaching them how to live at peace with other human beings in the world and they are practicing what you teach them in your home!  This is the training ground for their lives.  But that doesn’t mean that parents do nothing.  There are important lessons that parents need to teach their children at home so they can learn key social skills and have great relationships with their siblings not just while they are under your roof, but for the rest of their lives.  Listen to this re-release of our 2016 podcast on this subject.     Key Takeaways: Be open to giving your children as many siblings as possible.  Don’t always intervene.  Let your children alone to work things out on their own.  Help them value differences between different personalities by learning to appreciate each other. Teach them how to forgive and repair relationships when they are broken.   Couple Discussion:  How can we structure our home routine to foster better relationships between our children?  Do we intervene too much in sibling conflicts?  Not enough?  Have we taught our children how to ask for forgiveness?  If not, how can we do this?    

Boundaries are not meant to keep people out, but to set a clear understanding of what is acceptable and what is not within our relationships   At a few of our events, we have gotten questions from older parents who ask what to do about adult children who have cut them out of their lives.  At first we were surprised by this question, since the parents who attend our events are usually not ax-murderers or reprobates.  But then we realized that this seems to be a disturbing trend in our culture - young people who find fault with their parents and therefore choose to disown them.  Because we serve parents, we wanted to give a different take on the “wisdom of the world” and challenge our listeners to set boundaries and be healthy, but in a way that still honors the commandment that God gave us to honor your mother and father.  Yes, some of us have grown up in dysfunctional homes, but that does not mean that our families of origin should still have power over us.  Listen in as we help color in some gray to a discussion that is far from black and white.     Key Takeaways: No one should have the right to “push our buttons”.  We need to be free in our relationships even when people are unhealthy. Boundaries are good things to keep our families peaceful. You can’t replace your family - for good or for bad, they belong to you and you belong to them.  One of the Ten Commandments is to honor your father and mother.  This is God’s idea, not ours and it needs to be taken very seriously   Couple Discussion: How can we honor our father and mother appropriately?   How would we want our children to treat us someday?  What are good boundaries for our holiday visits with family?    Resources Dennis Prager Video: https://www.prageru.com/video/your-parents-dont-deserve-this?utm_source=Iterable&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=campaign_8266139 Great article from Catholic Psych - https://www.catholicpsych.com/blog/a-catholic-approach-to-dealing-with-difficult-relationships  Forgiveness- Shalom series https://www.shalomworld.org/episode/forgiveness-in-the-family-susan-and-urby-potvin

“The idea that the family is a democracy and that children and parents have the same responsibility within the home completely ignores the developmental needs of the child ” - Mike and Alicia    A child’s temper tantrums are frustrating to parents, but we should recognize that they are often a result of a child’s deficit in communication, understanding, and emotional control.  Children simply have immature responses to situations of conflict.  Knowing this may help, but parents also need strategies to get through these tricky, volatile, and potentially embarrassing situations.  In this podcast, we get practical and give parents the Four D’s of temper tantrums.  Determine, diffuse, distract, and - when all else fails - Done.  In a world that says parents and children are equal, parents have no rights, and honor is a thing of the past, we would like to push back and challenge parents to instead embrace the sacred calling to form their children with love and wisdom.  Listen in and start a conversation with us and your spouse.   Key Takeaways: Determine Diffuse Distract Done Couple Discussion: When do our children have meltdowns? Why?  What are some strategies to proactively avoid tantrums?  How can we be more effective in responding to our children's tantrums?  

“You are called to have great hearts here, counter-cultural and brave.  You can build something better, freer, more generous, and nobler, beginning in your own home.” - Bishop Thomas Olmstead, Complete My Joy 59 Man and woman coming together to build a home is a natural experience that has happened over and over again since the creation of the world, but we need to keep learning about what marriage is for and how to nourish this essential communion.  In this interview with Mike and Sharon Phelan we discuss how marriage can be transformational in the lives of men and women and a path to the true flourishing of the individual.  The problems are coming from a culture that is lying to us and pointing us in all different directions.  We discuss the concept of “submission” and “headship” as well as NFP - the good, the bad and the ugly.  Join in this conversation and find wisdom from this Catholic couple.   Key Takeaways: Marriage is like ballroom dancing - without a leader, there is no dance. Men need a mission!  And that mission should be to enable their wives to be a mother who is strong, beautiful and free.  NFP unpacks the mystery of a woman’s body to her husband (and sometimes to herself!) Following the Church’s teaching on marital sexuality changes us! Even if we don’t fully understand or agree, acting in a virtuous way promotes virtue.    Couple Discussion: How is does our marriage “dance” look right now?  How can we do this better?  Are we in “awe” of our ability to bring children into the world?  How does this effect our marital relations?  How can we learn more about the Church’s teaching on marriage and family?  Resources Complete My Joy - apostolic exhortation written by Bishop Thomas Olmstead The Mission of the Family video series https://www.kofc.org/un/en/campaigns/into-the-breach.html  

“An important element in forming Christian maturity in teens is creating a ‘Yes’ culture in the home, where a child can take risks, try new things, and find out more about who they are all while under your guidance.” - Mike and Alicia With the advent of the sexual revolution in the 60s and 70s and the subsequent increase in teen sexual activity, the response of the Christian community in the 80s and 90s was to make dating among conservative Christian teens verboten.  Among many good Catholic families, there is still a wide range of opinions on when kids should start dating, even among other families that we really respect.  We have allowed our older teens to date and in this podcast we explain why.  Like most of what we do, we have not guided our kids perfectly every time, but we have done it intentionally and we have learned some things over the years that we can share with you.  Listen in to this podcast on mentoring kids during this essential time of development.   Key Takeaways: Not all dating is the same - there are different levels. We need to prepare our children for healthy relationships and this includes giving them dating guidance.  How you do that is up to you, but it needs to be done.  Create a YES culture in your home.  Freedom and responsibility go together Casual dating is for teens, serious dating is when you are ready for marriage - in college and beyond.  Don’t confuse them.  Couple Discussion: Have we created a yes culture in our home?  What was our dating experience like? What would we like our children to imitate from our experience?  Avoid?  What are our “rules for dating” for our children? References to be included in summary:  Preview for The Dating Project movie here   

“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world” - CS Lewis Life can be hard.  Sometimes, in response to difficulties, instead of turning to the Lord in our pain, we self-medicate which can lead to addictions of one kind or another which only leads to more pain in the long run.  In this podcast, we hear the story of Ched and Nanette Salasek, Catholic parents of six children who have a story that every couple needs to hear.  Even if you haven’t struggled with addiction, you can learn from the lessons that they share about the healing grace of the sacrament of marriage, the role of the Blessed Mother in their family, and surrendering everything to the Lord.  Listen in to this inspiring and hopeful conversation.   Key Takeaways: The only path to freedom is through individual surrender.  No one can do it for us.   The role of a spouse in helping an addict is one of support and prayer and constant surrender.  God doesn’t want just our external actions - He wants our hearts!  Couple Discussion: Are there areas of our life that we have not surrendered to God?   Do we have addictions in our life that are ruling us?  Are there areas that are out of control?  How has God used our failings to draw us closer to Himself?  References to be included in summary:  Dare to Surrender Book - https://amzn.to/3QqlAOA

“With careful planning, honest communication, and the right help and care around you, your different tomorrow can be meaningful and extraordinary.”― John Delony Let’s be honest, family life is full of stress! Sometimes there are big stresses like the loss of a job, a new colicky baby in the house, overwhelming responsibilities, or marriage issues. But even the little stresses can add up! Moody teens, worries over a child’s academic performance, or even a messy house can lead parents to feel like “I just can’t take it.” What is a parent to do?  In this episode we take an honest look at anxiety in parenting and help parents to put it all in perspective.  The bottom line is, the longer we do this family thing, the more we realize that the problems never go away, but we simply see them differently now than we did before.  Listen in as we share our perspective to give every parent encouragement and hope for your future as we learn to put it all in God’s hands.   Key Takeaways: Take back your life Don’t get trapped in the weeds - lift your head up!  Do the little things well - Atomic Habits Every Yes needs to be protected by 1,000 No’s.  Prioritize your life Couple Discussion: When have I recently felt stressed? Has it become overwhelming? Where do I need perspective and help from my spouse? What are essential elements for our simple life plan to bring order? References:  FBM download - Messyfamilyproject.org/guides Survey - https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/XW98NMH John Deloney book - https://amzn.to/48T8LUb