Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

"The desire of a child to do a chore is inversely proportionate to their ability to do it." ~ attributed to a frustrated mother Chores are a part of every family's life, or at least they should be! Sometimes, faced with children who can't do a job correctly and with children who refuse to do a job without complaining, parents find it easier to just do everything themselves. But this doesn't teach children responsibility, nor the essential life skills every person needs. So why are chores valuable? More importantly, how can we get our kids to do them? Show Notes: Age-appropriate chores from Focus on the Family Happy Housewife chores based on age Maria Montessori's philosophy on children's work

"Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Savior." Ephesians 5:22-23 Catholic lectors regularly skip this passage for a reason: people in the pews start squirming when it's read! Why is that? But this is an integral passage to help us understand not only the relationship between husbands and wives, but in understanding how we can image God to each other. Often this passage is misinterpreted and misunderstood, but after years of thinking about this and living it out in our marriage, we want to offer a different view. The heart of what we talk about is how God wants to love each husband and each wife through their spouse. Marital love is a powerful thing because God wants to use it to show us His powerful awesome love. Listen in as we offer our perspective on this compelling passage of God's Word. Show Notes: Read it in the Bible: Ephesians 5:21-31 Fr. John Riccardo's podcast on The Biblical Vision for Marriage An old article Alicia wrote on submission in marriage ( from 1998!)

"…the happiness you are seeking, the happiness you have the right to enjoy, has a face and a name. It is Jesus of Nazareth, hidden in the Eucharist." - Pope Benedict XVI The only way our faith as Catholics makes any sense is when we see our lives as a journey to deepen our relationship with Jesus. If our lives aren't about Him, what is the point? In this podcast, Mike and Alicia interview Alicia's parents, John and Michele Doman, who are the parents of ten and grandparents to over forty young Catholics! Amazingly, and by God's grace, all of the Doman children are living lives as dynamic Catholics - married and in the priesthood. John and Michele discuss their own faith journey and how they guided their children into a relationship with Christ over the years. There is much wisdom in their words, as well as humor and honesty. What a wonderful resource to hear from a couple so in love with the Lord and with such great experience!

"All great change in America begins at the dinner table." ~Ronald Reagan Those of us who grew up with family dinners and who continue that tradition with our kids may not realize how counter-cultural we are becoming! Having dinner as a family is one thing you can do for your children to help keep them healthy, emotionally stable, and academically successful. It's a simple thing, so why doesn't every family have dinner together? In this podcast, we discuss why family dinners are an important part of our parenting, why they can be challenging, and some ideas to make your mealtime even better than it is now! Listen in and join the conversation. Show Notes: Grace Before Meals with Fr. Leo Family Dinner Box of Questions Game Once a Month Cooking or get their cook book Once a Month Meals Family Dinner Project

"Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, but those who deal faithfully are His delight." Proverbs 12:22 One of the trickiest parenting situations to deal with is when a child tells a lie. Do you punish them? If you do that, won't they keep lying to avoid punishment in the future? How do you know they are lying? What if you think they are lying, and they are actually telling the truth? In this podcast, we will share with you what we did in our family when we had kids in our household who had a habit of lying. What we've learned is there is not a "one size fits all" approach to this issue, but we can give you some ideas and suggestions as we share our experiences with you.

"A happy marriage is a union of two forgivers" - Ruth Bell Graham The only person in the world you will always agree with is yourself. Especially in marriage, people are going to disagree and this can lead to heated arguments between two people who really love each other. This is normal and healthy! We have to fight to work out our differences and come to a greater unity in our marriage. The goal of an argument should not be to be right, but to be unified. Even if you disagree, arguments should lead to greater clarity and understanding. In this podcast, we talk about why to argue, principles for good arguing, and some basic ground rules.

"For unflagging interest and enjoyment, a household of children, if things go reasonably well, certainly makes all other forms of success and achievement lose their importance by comparison." - Teddy Roosevelt Being blessed with a large family is what some couples long for and something that some couples don't even expect! Having ten children, we have a pretty realistic perspective on having more than five kids (which seems medium-sized to us!) There are considerations to being open to having more kids that are deeper than "why not?" There are challenges that parents need to think about because we are co-creators with God. That is not a responsibility to be taken lightly! We know many people who have had an amazing experience growing up in a big family, but there are some people who were deeply scarred because their parents weren't ready for what was coming. Parents can never forget that they have a responsibility to not just give life, but also educate that life as well. We would like to share our experience with you to encourage you to be intentional about planning for what lies ahead if God blesses you with a bunch of kids! Show Notes: Familiaris Consortio #28 (or buy it at Amazon) Pope Francis's address to Family Associations (Feast of the Holy Family 2014) Dad is Fat by Jim Gaffigan Information on NFP from the USCCB Information on NFP from the Couple to Couple League "I guess the reasons against having more children always seemed uninspiring and superficial. What exactly am I missing out on? Money? A few more hours of sleep? A more peaceful meal? More hair? These are nothing compared to what I get from these five monsters who rule my life … each one of them has been a pump of light into my shriveled black heart." - Jim Gaffigan

Family prayer should be the center of our lives as Catholics, but often parents find it challenging. Praying consistently with our kids is not our strength, so of course that's why we wanted to address it! You need to find a type of prayer that works for you, and don't worry about how "well" you pray. The Lord just wants to hear from you and your children need to see your example (especially you dads!). Our entire lives need to be submitted to the Lord, knowing that all we have is from Him. Show notes and links available at http://www.messyparenting.org or http://www.facebook.com/MessyParenting/

You want to know what it's like having a fourth kid? Imagine you are drowning and then someone hands you a baby. ~Jim Gaffigan We believe the most challenging years of parenting are not related to how many kids you have, but rather how close in age they are. Young families say to us all the time, "We shouldn't complain because we only have three kids and you have ten." This is not true! The period of time when your family consists of kids who are all in car seats, can't tie their own shoes, and are barely potty trained is an extremely difficult time. Be encouraged! This is a phase that doesn't last forever (though it feels like an eternity at the time). Just think- if you can survive this, you can survive anything! Dad is Fat by Jim Gaffigan 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

The changes that happens in adolescence - physically, emotionally, mentally- are very similar to the changes that happen during the toddler years. In both stages your child is developing in leaps and bounds and you are the one God has tasked to guide them. In this podcast, we share some of our ideas and what we have done with our children to create rites of passage, give information when they need it, and helping them solidify their gender identity. This is a crucial time in the lives of our children and its important to be intentional and have a plan of how you are going to help them and love them during this time. This is geared especially for parents with kids in the "tween" and early teen years, 11-14.