Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

"Nothing makes a father happier than seeing a daughter with a smile on her face and her boyfriend with fear in his eyes." - Willie Robertson Daughters AND sons need direction and guidance when it comes to dating. The world tells us that dating is private and we have no business "meddling" in our teens' affairs. Nothing is farther from the truth! Kids need mom and dad's wisdom on navigating the perilous world of relationships and emotions. We have some practical advice to give from our own experience that we can share with you. Parents have to be intentional about discussing relationships with their kids and make a safe place for them to be honest and vulnerable, so they don't go seeking affirmation in the wrong places. Dating is another area in which Catholic families can affect the world in a positive way by our example. Listen in! "Your natural instinct is to protect your daughter. Forget what pop culture and pop psychologists tell you. DO IT." - Dr. Meg Meeker Show Notes: Here's what we referenced. Hernon Ground Rules for Dating (heavily copied from Jennifer Degler)

Your marriage is only as good as the work you put into it. A child-centered marriage is a recipe for disaster. Teach children early that their "happiness" is not Mom or Dad's reason for living. ~Breathing Grace: Everything I Know About Marriage in 200 Words or Less How often do we take the time to show our spouse that they are "Number One" in our lives? Dedicated time alone without the children is an essential part of any healthy marriage. The foundation of your family is your marriage, and we should never, ever take for granted that we are doing fine. In this episode, we talk about the importance of date nights and get-away weekends. We also address two listener questions - one on toy guns, and the other on how to have effective family time. Listen in and start the discussion on how and why we should all spend quality time with our beloved in order to improve our family life.

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." - Ephesians 4:29 The words that are spoken in our home can create an atmosphere of trust, openness, and honesty, or one of hostility and distrust. We need to banish from our homes sarcasm and negative humor because they tear down family members instead of building them up. There are many ways that we can use our words to encourage our children and our spouses. We need to take the time to honor and love our family with our words, so our home can be a safe place for our children to thrive and grow.

"Half of the time I feel like I'm running an insane asylum… the other half of the time I feel like I belong in one!" There are so many needs pressing on parents, especially moms, all day, every day. How can we prioritize our time and energy to create an orderly life for ourselves and our family? In the book A Mother's Rule of Life, Holly Pierlot describes the Six Priorities of Life that can help us create a routine in our day and make decisions that will help us use our time wisely and effectively. Despite what your children think, mothers can't do everything! Moms (and dads!) can create a balanced life by giving priority first to Prayer, then to Person, Partner, Parent, Provider, and Periphery (everything else!). If you enjoy this podcast, contact us about having Alicia come to speak to your parish or group to do a full presentation with more information on this topic. Show Notes: A Mother's Rule of Life book by Holly Pierlot

"My name is Rod, and I like to party." – Andy Samburg in Hot Rod To be Catholic is to love to party, because every Mass is a foretaste of heaven, and heaven is a wedding feast! Celebrations are an important way to communicate our values to our children and to the world. By investing our time and treasure to gather friends and family together, we are saying, "This is an important event!" As Catholics, we need to reclaim the sacraments and holidays as times to feast and celebrate. This is how we can rebuild our Catholic culture and revive our communities. Listen in as we tell you about the crazy party WE had last weekend! Show Notes: Sent in by a listener: I want my kids to know how to party

"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence." ~ George Washington It doesn't take a village to raise a child, but the village is certainly an important part of his growth and development! The friendships that our children have, even at the earliest ages, are an important training ground for life. As parents, we can't micromanage our children's friendships, but we can guide them and provide a fertile environment for healthy relationships to grow. It's important to do this when they are young, because as children grow, friendships become more and more important and parents have less and less influence over those friendships. Listen in as we discuss this topic and its importance in the lives of our children. "A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter. He who finds one finds a treasure." ~ Sirach 6:14

"Why did God make you? God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him for ever in heaven." - Baltimore Catechism Dealing with the loss of life is difficult for adults and for children. Our generation is more poorly equipped than the ones that came before us to deal with this issue, because we are repeatedly told that we are in total control of our own lives. This is simply not true. As Catholics, we have the great gift of our faith to form our hearts and inform our minds, so we can embrace the suffering that death brings. In this podcast, we share our own stories of loss and give some ideas for talking with your children about this issue. This podcast ends with a special song written by a mother who suffered the loss of her child, and God's response to her. Show Notes: Cornerstone of Hope grief support. A great resource for those suffering from loss Story of our nephew Joshua Michael at my sister Regina Doman's site 20 Things you can do for Those Who Are Grieving Interested in Alicia's CD or music? Visit Alicia Hernon.com

"Honor your father and mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you." ~ Deut 5:16 We each have a family that we have come from, our family of origin, and sometimes they are very different from us. Because of this, visiting with grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and in-laws can be stressful, but connecting with extended family is extremely important for the well-being of our children. In this podcast, we talk about the importance of visiting family, but also some issues that couples need to discuss ahead of time. "Life is short, family is forever"

"The task now for believers is to form our own families even more deeply in the love of God, and to rebuild a healthy marriage culture, one marriage at a time, from the debris of today's decision." - Archbishop Chaput The Supreme Court's decision to strike down the bans on same-sex marriage in many ways was no surprise. The Judeo-Christian values that have supported our culture for so long have been eroding since the 1930s. In this podcast, we share our reflections on this decision and what this means for our families going forward. We need to renew and strengthen the meaning and value of Catholic marriage so we can be a light in the darkness.

"All it requires is that you be a man, a real man, which means a man of courage, perseverance, and integrity. You were made a man for a reason. You were made a man to be strong, long husband and father. So listen to your instincts and do what's right. Be a hero." - Dr. Meg Meeker Fatherhood is devalued, underappreciated, and desperately needed in our society. Why is fatherhood so important? Why is it so hard for men to be good fathers? In this podcast, we discuss how our relationship with God the Father is the key to embracing who we are as parents. In addition, every man has a role as priest, prophet, and king in his family. Let's talk about what that means so every man can come to a deeper understanding of his role as a father. Show Notes: Dr. Meg Meeker: What only a dad can give Great short film from David Henrie: Catch