Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

"Seven days without prayer makes one weak." The days between Thanksgiving and Christmas are full of many tasks, which are fun and beautiful, but also may take our eyes off of the One we need most at this time. Making room for prayer in our busy schedules isn’t just something that is important during Advent, but is an essential part of parenting and living as a Catholic in this crazy world. In this podcast, we take some time to define WHY we should pray, HOW you can pray, and, most importantly, WHEN you can pray. Why should we parents pray? 1. Out of justice, because God deserves your prayer 2. To gain inner peace and take time to slow down 3. To refocus on the meaning of life and remember what matters most 4. To receive grace and strength for your day 5. To seek His blessing, provision, and protection for your family 6. To listen to God and receive His wisdom for your life 7. To allow God to love you. Gaze upon Him and let the Lord gaze upon you.

“A child will have many friends and companions in their lives, but they will only ever have two parents.” The role of parents in the lives of their children cannot be underestimated. Of course, we have a natural and biological role that is irreplaceable for our children - we are to protect and provide for them - but we sometimes forget our irreplaceable emotional and spiritual role. The world would like to tell us otherwise, but we need to stand firm in the truth that we have a dignity and responsibility as parents that we can't surrender. When your children are young, you are not there to be your child’s friend, companion, or buddy. You need to be the authority figure, the protector, the image of God the Father to them. This is a daunting task, but God will give you the grace you need. Because this podcast is so important, we've listed an outline of it below. What is your “irreplaceable role”? How can you take your rightful place in the life of your child in a way that no one else can? Protect them. Infants and toddlers need protecting, but so do teenagers. Looks different, but someone has to do it. Provide for them. We realize we need to give food, clothing and shelter, but we also need to provide for kids emotionally, socially, and spiritually. Form them. You are the first and best teacher of your child. Lean into that role and use the power of your relationship to speak to their heart. Be a student of your child. Observe them. Learn their personality type. Find what motivates them. This is true at every age. We all want to be known and it gives security like nothing else to be “known” by your parents. Invest in them. If you died tomorrow, in a few weeks your workplace would find someone to replace you. But your children would be changed forever by your loss. Your family is the greatest return on your investment. And your family needs you more than anyone else. Give them a sense of identity and belonging. Your child is a son or daughter of God and you are the one to confirm that identity. Create a family culture so your child knows that when the world beats them up, they will always know who they are and have a place in your home. Give them a sense of purpose. One of the highest and most important needs of man is a sense of purpose. Children need to know that God has a plan for their lives, that He has a mission specifically for them. Their life has a purpose, and you will be there to walk beside them and find that purpose together.

“Life is pain, your highness. And anyone who tells you differently is selling something.” - The Princess Bride Children today are less able to deal with failure, rejection, and pain than ever before. As parents, we hate to see our children suffer, but how do we prepare them for real life? How do we help to make them strong, but flexible at the same time? In this podcast, we discuss how hard it is to see our precious children struggle, and we point out the pitfalls that we parents can easily fall into. We also give three principles you can implement in your parenting to help form resilient kids.

"You left just as you were becoming interesting.” ~ Professor Henry Jones to Indiana Jones All throughout our children’s lives, we are laying a foundation, a foundation upon which the rest of their lives will be built. How we relate to them, the consequences we provide to their behavior, and the teaching we give when they are teens (or even younger) will affect how we relate to them when they become adults. Parenting an adult child can be heartbreaking or amazingly satisfying, depending on the decisions they make. In this podcast, we give seven tips on how to parent your adult child and help them to launch into the world of adulthood.

“Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.” ~ Benjamin Franklin We thought we were really nice people before we had kids. Our children can sometimes trigger anger that we didn’t even realize was there, anger that can surprise us with its violence. To overcome unrighteous anger, we need to understand why we get angry (sometimes it's not unjustified!) and make a plan for how we are going to deal with it. This can be a difficult issue for many people because it takes humility to admit when we are wrong, and vulnerability to deal with our own brokenness. Show Notes: Check out these resources. Book: Taming the Lion Within: 5 Steps from Anger to Peace by Dr. Rhonda Chervin Great article: How to Deal with Parental Anger by Dr. Sears Our podcast on The Courage to Correct Your Spouse Our podcast on Words Matter

“For the grace of Baptism to unfold, the parents' help is important. So too is the role of the godfather and godmother, who must be firm believers, able and ready to help the newly baptized on the road of Christian life.” Catechism of the Catholic Church, No. 1255 Our world presents images of cartoon fairy godmothers and mob-boss godfathers, but in actuality, being a godparent is a lifelong commitment with spiritual significance. To be an effective godparent, we need to be in a relationship with our godchild as a Christian as we assist the parents in the faith formation of their child. In this episode, we discuss how to choose a godparent, the importance of godparents in the life of the child, and how to be a godparent who actually makes an impact on the life of a young Catholic. Listen in to learn more about this important relationship. This sponsored podcast is dedicated to Katie Stockermans.

“If the devil cannot make us bad, he will make us busy.” ~ Corrie TenBoom If we are too busy to pray, eat with our family, or play with our kids, then we are too busy. When we look at our family’s schedule, we need to make sure that we have the “big rocks” in place. We need to make sure that we invest time in those things that we say are our top priorities. Show me how you spend your time, and I will show you what you value. In this podcast, we talk about families and our busy schedules. We look at how we can juggle it all and make wise choices for our children and ourselves. Really, most of our podcast ideas boil down to this - how do you make it all happen? Thanks to the Master Planner for sponsoring this episode! Show Notes: Our podcast on Kids and Activities Our podcast on Raising confident kids who aren't full of themselves Our podcast on being Overwhelmed

"The future of evangelization depends in great part on the Church of the home." ~ St. John Paul the Great Every Catholic is called to evangelize. No matter where you are in life, we are to spreading the gospel of Christ in all we do. Does that mean that we need to carry a bible in the diaper bag and preach on the street? Not necessarily (though a bible in your diaper bag is a good idea!), the first step in evangelization is to love. When we evangelize as a family, that means that we first love, serve, and preach the gospel to our own children as we create a home in which others can come to be served and cared for. Your family can be a witness to Christ as you show how to love as Jesus loved. Thank you to Sean and Aine Ascough of Ireland for sponsoring this podcast! Show Notes: some resources we mentioned in this episode: Our podcast on Evangelizing your Kids Our podcast on Passing on the Faith Our podcast on Scripture and the Family

“The more ready you are to give yourselves to God and to others, the more you will discover the authentic meaning of life.” ― Jason Evert, Saint John Paul the Great: His Five Loves Chastity is a fruit of the Holy Spirit and a virtue that frees us to love others for who they are, not for what they do for us. The foundation of chastity should be intentionally laid when our children are young, so this virtue can fully flower in their teen years and beyond. This podcast isn’t a “chastity talk": it's fifty minutes of practical advice on what this virtue looks like when lived out in a family of all different ages and stages of development. Thank you to the Piwnicki family from St. Thomas the Apostle Church in Crystal Lake, IL for sponsoring this podcast! Show Notes: Our podcast on the importance of Friendship for your Kids Our podcast on Preparing Your Tween and Yourself for Adolescence Our podcast on the Messy Parenting Guide to Dating Book: Raising Pure Teens by Jason Evert and Chris Stefanick Book: Theology of His/Her Body  by Jason Evert

“You can learn many things from toddlers! For example, how much patience you actually have.” ~Anonymous One blessing of having ten kids is that we have matured and learned enough about kids to appreciate the toddler years of children #9 and 10 much more than those years with children #1 and 2. Our advice to parents of toddlers is to start by enjoying them! It's hard to do when they are destroying your house and embarrassing you in public, but with a few strategies and consistency on your part, you can begin to see that this little bundle of creative energy has been amazingly designed by the Divine Creator. It’s all part of His plan to get this child to adulthood and independence, and to get you to heaven! Notes: The Absorbent Mind (Montessori book) Articles on toddlers from Focus on the Family (Christian website)