Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

"Prayer knocks at the door, fasting obtains, mercy receives." ~St. Peter Chrysologus We have a very exciting program to share with you all in this podcast that we are doing for Lent. We know that we want to bring our wills and our hearts closer to God, but how do we make sacrifices and offer up our wills as a married couple? What do sacrifices in Lent look like when you are raising children and are already laying down your life and your body for them? Our beautiful faith provides the answer for us. Offer up our prayers and fasting to subdue our wills and then show mercy first to those closest to us, our spouse and children. Allow all the "built in" sacrifices that we do NOT choose during the day to become an offering pleasing to God. Do it all under the authority of your spouse, who you also have authority over. Listen to this podcast and sign up for more ideas, structure, and accountability in Cana 90! Sign up for the Cana 90 program: https://messyfamilyproject.org/cana90

"Wash the cup not because it is dirty, or because you are told to, but because you love the person who will use it after you ~St. Teresa of Calcutta Very frequently people will email or write to us asking for our organization secrets, tips, or techniques. Our secret is.. We don't really have one. We do have principles and a philosophy that we live by, but the perfect system of organization for our home still eludes us. But, what we can give you is an overall view of how we make decisions and communicate with our children on making our home run so children are clothed, fed, and get where they need to go (for the most part!). Doing chores and managing schedules takes up much of our time as a family, but in the context of family culture, that is actually not the most important part of your family. Family operations needs to be seen in the context of your WHOLE family life and parents need to make sure the rest of the family culture is not neglected because so much energy is spent on our physical needs. Listen to the podcast, and then take a look as some of the resources that go with this podcast on our website. Also we have more practical tips listed on a blog post (Tips on Chores). Great Products and Resources: Please use these links as the ministry gets a small commission if you sign up the free app or purchase any of books or products. We love and use these: We have just switched over to Cozi for the family chores, calendar, and shopping list. Very impressed so far. Cozi is the #1 family organizing app. Create a free Cozi account and you'll also get the 2018 Summer Planner Printables! Alicia loves Norwex for cleaning everything in our house. Norwex - the power to clean without harsh chemicals. This books was so helpful in our household management - Don Aslett's Make Your House do the Housework Also we have used this to help keep the Hernon army well fed. Perhaps you should consider Once a Month Cooking Previous podcasts referenced: MP014 - Chores MP042 - Family Routine MP096 - Building a Family Culture MFP103 - Family Board Meeting

"Love is never something ready made, something merely given to man and woman, it is...a task which they are set. Love should be seen as something which never 'is' but is always only 'becoming'..." - St. John Paul II "I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship." - Brené Brown There have been times in our marriage when we felt ourselves drifting apart. Not because of any one catastrophic event, but just because we weren't working on our relationship. We were just getting by. But in a culture antithetical to marriage, just "getting by" is not enough. All Catholic couples need to work to cultivate a dynamic, vibrant relationship, strong enough to bear the demands of family life, and weather everything the world will throw at it. The reality is, we are never done working on our marriage. In this podcast, we discuss the importance of "checking in" with our spouse to see how we are doing. To do this effectively we need to practice how to listen but also practice being vulnerable. This podcast has a worksheet that you can download at our website and use as a tool to work with your spouse towards a more intentional, unified marriage. Download our three-part guide to a more united marriage at https://messyfamilyproject.org/marriage Also you will find other items we mentioned like a parish bulletin insert and how to celebrate and advocate for marriage online. It's not about the nail video- https://messyfamilyproject.org/resources/its-not-about-the-nail Today we discussed a great book called Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. If you get a copy at Amazon by clicking this link, our ministry gets a small donation. Thanks in advance!

A parenting fail is simply a lesson wrongly considered. ~ Mike and Alicia Hernon Have you ever let your emotions get the better of you? Have a discipline plan go south? Have a fun family time turn into a disaster? Yes, us too. All parents make mistakes! Even though we have a marriage and family podcast and we share advice and ideas, please don't think that we (like you!) haven't had some big "fails" ourselves! In this podcast, we share some stories of things we have done that didn't turn out the way we planned. The good news is that through these fails we have learned lessons that stay with us even today. Hopefully you will be able to see yourselves in our stories, laugh a little bit and maybe even learn something from these examples of our own messy parenting!

"A family doesn't need to be perfect; it just needs to be united." Families are busy - running from place to place with little time to look where they are going or to even form an idea of what they want their family to look like. The Family Board Meeting is a tool that couples can use to cast a vision for their family and create concrete goals that will make that vision a reality. In this podcast we discuss the importance of this time, talk about elements of a Family Board Meeting, and we give suggestions on logistics that will make it happen. Go to our website https://messyfamilyproject.org/our-resources/free to download the guide that can go along with this podcast. Creating a vision for your family and setting goals as a team is a powerful way for couples to be more intentional about building their own family culture.

"Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 19:14 Most parents realize that young children are not little adults and they have particular needs for their physical and mental well-being. We must realize that they have particular needs for their spiritual well-being as well. Parents need to learn how to tend the seed of their child's faith life and that starts with acknowledging the differences, and realizing that in many ways, the child is closer to God than we are! The beautiful thing about parenting is that as we nurture our child's faith, we will grow closer to God ourselves. We must learn from the child how to have a "child-like" faith as Jesus taught in the gospels. Listen in as we explain how the child's faith is different than ours and how we can nurture their faith in appropriate ways. Book referenced during today's show: Looking for Catechesis of the Good Shepherd in your area? Visit CGS USA

"Fathers, do not exasperate your children, instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4 More than any other topic, discipline is something listeners have asked us to address in our podcast. Our hesitation has been that this is just such a complicated topic! One that deserves much time and thought because, well… it's complicated and there are no easy answers, as much as we would like there to be. So instead of trying to cover all things regarding discipline, we decided to give some foundational beliefs in our discipline philosophy. This podcast explores 5 principles of discipline that all parents can apply to their children, not matter what the age. This podcast compliments our Guide to Discipline found on our website. Podcasts referenced - The Five Love Languages, The Irreplaceable Role of Parents, and Parenting as a Team.

Welcome to the 100th podcast! We are celebrating the public launch of our ministry with new branding, new website, and even new intro and outro music on the podcast itself! As promised, we decided to interview the people who had more influence on our parenting than anyone else, and who have taught us the most. Those people would be (drum roll, please!) our children! We hope you find both interviews entertaining and informative (though the younger kids were more entertaining than informative!). We decided that 12 people talking altogether would be too much so we first interviewed the oldest 5 children and then the youngest 5. We talk about such topics as - What are the best and worst parts of being in a big family? What life lessons have you learned from our family? How did you handle fighting with siblings growing up? What did that teach you? It was fun for us to interview the older children and hear what influenced them and made the biggest impression on them. They came up with some really great insights that we hadn't even thought of! We hope you can listen in and celebrate with us, but also gain some insight and inspiration from hearing from the Hernon Ten.

We listen to what our parents say to us because this is how we figure out who we are. – Dr. Meg Meeker The words that parents say to their children are important, but equally as important (if not more) is HOW we say those words. We have found this through our own struggles with yelling! Communication happens not only verbally, but also emotionally, so our words can be lost in the way in which we express ourselves. When we raise our voices in anger through yelling we may unintentionally be verbally assaulting our own children. In this show we talk about having a plan, getting perspective and asking for help. Stay connected and hear about the new website, Advent box, and more by signing up for our newsletter: https://messyfamilyproject.org/contact-us-legacy/subscribe

Raising children is beautiful but also hard work. It's a task for unselfish, devoted parents. ~ Archbishop Chaput Parenting is not for cowards, that is for sure! Thankfully, God gives children two parents who, when they work together, can provide the best environment for their child. But working together can be tough. Spouses come from different backgrounds, have different personalities, virtues, and vices. All of this needs to be worked through to get in sync with each other. Presenting a united front to your children is not only good for them, its good for you and your marriage as well. Listen in as we give some tips on how to parent together with respect, unity, and God's grace.