Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Parenting is a path to holiness, that is clear.  Part of this growth in your holiness is taking on the responsibility for the formation of your children.  It's hard to form people! But it is a job for unselfish, dedicated parents and no one can do it better than you can!  In this podcast, we discuss principles that are important to keep in mind as we form our children. Ideas such as your children are not the center of your family, but part of a community; that you need to teach your children to give themselves away; that trust is earned and love requires boundaries.  We pick a few other rules that we have found to be important in our parenting to pass on to you. Along with parenting philosophy will come some very practical insights also that will help you form your children and bring peace to your household.   Family Retreat Kit and Videos: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/family-retreat-2019-3/   Related Episodes and Blog Post: The Irreplaceable Role of Parents (episode): https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-079-the-irreplaceable-role-of-parents/ The Irreplaceable Role of Parents (blog post): https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/the-irreplaceable-role-of-parents/ Growing a Family Culture: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-096-building-a-family-culture-part-1/

During our tour of Australia, we had the opportunity to meet many listeners and make some amazing new friends.  One of our events was a day seminar for engaged and newly married couples with an Australian ministry - The Marriage Project.  During the day, we had a time to take questions from the audience and we loved it! It was great to experience firsthand the desire that these couples had for intentional, authentic relationships with each other and with their greater community.  We answered questions about blending families, challenge of children and marriage, discerning family size, and even our most important piece of advice to a newly married couple (that one was hard!). We hope you enjoy hearing us interacting with our listeners and hearing us really think on our feet!     Catholic Family Fests: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/speaking/events/catholic-family-vacation/ Summer Family Retreat Box: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/summer-family-retreat-box/

“The family is indeed more than any other social reality, the place where an individual can exist ‘for himself’ through the sincere gift of self...it is the ‘sanctuary of life'” ~ St. John Paul II, Letter to Families, #11 This episode is our first LIVE podcast, recorded during our Australian Tour in May 2019.  During this tour, we presented a seminar sponsored by our good friends (Australians, read “mates!” ) at the Marriage Project.  In this talk we examined the question “What is the nature of family?” Society cannot define was this nature is, because society did not give family its nature. Family has a given meaning all its own. According to St. John Paul II, a family is a community of life whose mission it is to guard, reveal and communicate love. It is a man and woman bound together in a life long commitment whose love is fruitful.   Therefore, our understanding of marriage must be seen within the context of family, since not only do we all come from a family, but we are made for family. Survey about future membership site: https://messyfamilypro.wpengine.com/membership/ Join our newsletter (don’t miss out):https://messyfamilyproject.org/contact-us-legacy/subscribe

 “Are you the adult you want your child to become?” ~ Dr. Brene Brown High emotions and the advent of adolescence seem to go hand in hand.  Instead of getting caught up into our children’s emotion and the drama that may ensue, parents need to truly be “the adult in the room” and be an example of how to deal with strong feelings in a appropriate way.  To do this, we parents need to be self-aware and conscious of our own woundedness and need for healing. Only then can we be an example to our children and a source of hope sending the message that they CAN overcome.  We need to empathize with our child and empower them to master their emotions while using their intellect and will to act, thus integrating all their faculties to act virtuously. It's hard for parents to teach pre-teens and teens how to handle drama, but this is the job of hard-working, devoted parents! Survey about future membership site: https://messyfamilyproject.org/community Join our newsletter (don’t miss out):https://messyfamilyproject.org/contact-us-legacy/subscribe Cana 90 meditations (Lent & Easter seasons):https://messyfamilyproject.org/cana90    Schedule for MFP events in Australia: https://www.facebook.com/757182281305801/posts/845469395810422?sfns=mo    Additional resources for this episode: Dr. Brene Brown on empathy https://youtu.be/1Evwgu369Jw More from Brene Brown Daring Greatly https://amzn.to/2XRd2C8 and Power of Vulnerability https://amzn.to/2WgmlLI Teaching Your Child Self-control:https://messyfamilyproject.org/collections/podcast/mp-090-teaching-your-children-self-control Raising Confident Kids Who Aren’t Full of Themselves: https://messyfamilyproject.org/collections/podcast/mp-043-raising-confident-kids-who-aren-t-full-of-themselves Discipling and Disciplining Our Teenagers: https://messyfamilyproject.org/collections/podcast/mp-064-discipling-and-disciplining-our-teenagers-part-1  

Have you ever felt like your world was going up in smoke?  Listen in as we explain this dramatic story of our car fire, where no injuries occurred or lives lost, but the disaster was complete.  Though the loss was great, God’s faithfulness and providence was even greater. We felt it was not a coincidence that this happened during the season of Lent because we are able to see the themes of fasting through detachment from goods, mercy that was shown to us, and the prayer that protected us and our children. No matter how Satan plans our demise, God can always have the victory.   Video and article: https://messyfamilyproject.org/resources/video-lent-and-how-we-narrowly-escaped-a-car-fire-aleteia   Join our newsletter (don’t miss out): https://messyfamilyproject.org/contact/subscribe   Cana 90 meditations: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/tag/cana90/   

“The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.” ~ Pope Benedict XVI Men today can’t do anything right. The world has taken the idea of masculinity and distorted it to the point that it is barely recognizable from the ideal man celebrated one hundred years ago. As dynamic Catholics living in this time, we want to celebrate men and encourage them to reclaim their true identity and realize who God created them to be - fully using their gifts and masculine qualities to serve others. In this podcast, we use the apostolic letter “Into the Breach” written by Bishop Olmsted of Phoenix, AZ to put forward and answer three questions - What does it mean to be a Catholic man? How do men love? And why is fatherhood so crucial? Referenced in this episode: The Apostolic Exhortation: Into the Breach Wild at Heart: Abba’s Heart: Check out past posts for Cana 90

“Prayer knocks at the door, fasting obtains, mercy receives.” ~St. Peter Chrysologus We have a very exciting program to share with you all in this podcast that we are doing for Lent. We know that we want to bring our wills and our hearts closer to God, but how do we make sacrifices and offer up our wills as a married couple? What do sacrifices in Lent look like when you are raising children and are already laying down your life and your body for them? Our beautiful faith provides the answer for us. Offer up our prayers and fasting to subdue our wills and then show mercy first to those closest to us, our spouse and children. Allow all the “built in” sacrifices that we do NOT choose during the day to become an offering pleasing to God. Do it all under the authority of your spouse, who you also have authority over. Listen to this podcast and sign up for more ideas, structure, and accountability in Cana 90! Sign up for the Cana 90 program: https://messyfamilyproject.org/cana90  

  “Wash the cup not because it is dirty, or because you are told to, but because you love the person who will use it after you ~St. Teresa of Calcutta Very frequently people will email or write to us asking for our organization secrets, tips, or techniques. Our secret is.. We don’t really have one. We do have principles and a philosophy that we live by, but the perfect system of organization for our home still eludes us. But, what we can give you is an overall view of how we make decisions and communicate with our children on making our home run so children are clothed, fed, and get where they need to go (for the most part!). Doing chores and managing schedules takes up much of our time as a family, but in the context of family culture, that is actually not the most important part of your family. Family operations needs to be seen in the context of your WHOLE family life and parents need to make sure the rest of the family culture is not neglected because so much energy is spent on our physical needs. Listen to the podcast, and then take a look as some of the resources that go with this podcast on our website. Also we have more practical tips listed on a blog post (Tips on Chores). Great Products and Resources: Please use these links as the ministry gets a small commission if you sign up the free app or purchase any of books or products.  We love and use these: We have just switched over to Cozi for the family chores, calendar, and shopping list. Very impressed so far.  Cozi is the #1 family organizing app. Create a free Cozi account and you'll also get the 2018 Summer Planner Printables! Alicia loves Norwex for cleaning everything in our house. Norwex - the power to clean without harsh chemicals. This books was so helpful in our household management - Don Aslett's Make Your House do the Housework Also we have used this to help keep the Hernon army well fed. Perhaps you should consider Once a Month Cooking Previous podcasts referenced: MP014 - Chores MP042 - Family Routine MP096 - Building a Family Culture MFP103 - Family Board Meeting

“Love is never something ready made, something merely given to man and woman, it is...a task which they are set. Love should be seen as something which never ‘is’ but is always only ‘becoming’...” - St. John Paul II   “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” - Brené Brown There have been times in our marriage when we felt ourselves drifting apart. Not because of any one catastrophic event, but just because we weren’t working on our relationship. We were just getting by. But in a culture antithetical to marriage, just "getting by" is not enough. All Catholic couples need to work to cultivate a dynamic, vibrant relationship, strong enough to bear the demands of family life, and weather everything the world will throw at it. The reality is, we are never done working on our marriage. In this podcast, we discuss the importance of “checking in” with our spouse to see how we are doing. To do this effectively we need to practice how to listen but also practice being vulnerable. This podcast has a worksheet that you can download at our website and use as a tool to work with your spouse towards a more intentional, unified marriage. Download our three-part guide to a more united marriage at https://messyfamilyproject.org/marriage Also you will find other items we mentioned like a parish bulletin insert and how to celebrate and advocate for marriage online. It's not about the nail video- https://messyfamilyproject.org/resources/its-not-about-the-nail Today we discussed a great book called Daring Greatly by Brené Brown. If you get a copy at Amazon by clicking this link, our ministry gets a small donation. Thanks in advance!

A parenting fail is simply a lesson wrongly considered. ~ Mike and Alicia Hernon Have you ever let your emotions get the better of you? Have a discipline plan go south? Have a fun family time turn into a disaster? Yes, us too. All parents make mistakes! Even though we have a marriage and family podcast and we share advice and ideas, please don’t think that we (like you!) haven’t had some big “fails” ourselves! In this podcast, we share some stories of things we have done that didn’t turn out the way we planned. The good news is that through these fails we have learned lessons that stay with us even today. Hopefully you will be able to see yourselves in our stories, laugh a little bit and maybe even learn something from these examples of our own messy parenting!