Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

We have a treat for you as we are sharing a special date night interview with Scott and Kimberly Hahn. They have been married for 40 years and have six children along with eighteen grandchildren. They are world-renowned Catholic evangelists, speakers, authors and teachers. In this show they share their wisdom on falling in love and staying in love through the tough times. They share some of their struggles and not always being on the same page with great encouragement and direction for couples. They also share some of the challenges in parenting and how to effectively pass on the faith to our children.  You won’t want to miss this episode and you may want to take notes. We also had a follow-up handout if you would like to use this show as a conversation starter for you and your spouse.    Referenced in this episode: Handout for this special date night: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/date-night-with-hahns/    Subscribe to our newsletter: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/join/ St. Paul Center: https://stpaulcenter.com/ Kimberly’s new podcast: https://www.belovedandblessed.com/

After 26 years of parenting you would think that we knew how to promote an atmosphere of virtue in our home automatically. But it doesn’t work that way!  We have had to stop and evaluate the way that our younger children have been treating each other and address it intentionally.  In this podcast, we share some of the teaching we gave to our kids about practicing kindness, how we followed up afterwards, and why its important to train the actions AND the hearts of our children. Listen in to hear our Seven Tips on Kids and Kindness at home as well as Mike’s reflections on his recent hike on the Appalachian Trail, update on our fabulously successful Date Night with the Hahns, upcoming events, and how to promote our podcast.    Referenced: Catholic moms summit register: https://www.cardinalstudios.org/a/34145/eFUzDCVz Marriage summit access if desired: https://www.joyfuleverafter.org/a/27520/xSMEEApS Scott and Kimberly Hahn interview: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/date-night-with-hahns/

The sexual relationship you have with your spouse is the most intimate relationship you will ever have, but it certainly can be complicated! In this podcast, we have a conversation with Byron and Francine Pirola, founders of Smartloving and international speakers and teachers.  Our conversation about physical intimacy between spouses is honest, frank, and explicit, so please listen to this podcast in privacy.  But we do believe this information is desperately needed by couples, so we have created a summary and download for you to use after listening to the podcast to create a conversation with your spouse.  Please listen in, use this topic as a conversation starter with your spouse, and share with others!     Referenced: Free Conversation Starter on Sexual Intimacy: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/physical-intimacy/  Webinar with Byron and Francine Pirola: https://smartloving.org/webinars/ Sign up for our virtual date night with Scott & Kimberly Hahn: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/date-night-with-hahns/

All parents will fail.  How do we know this?  Because we are all imperfect!  Many parents feel like failures when grieving over their children’s poor decisions or loss of faith. Or they look at themselves in the mirror and don’t like who they have become. How we define failure and how we deal with it will either paralyze us or call us on to greater holiness and virtue.  Recognizing how we have failed our children, and even how our own parents have failed us, is how we learn and grow.  In this podcast we define the difference between shame and guilt (one is good and the other bad!), the importance of recognizing what we can control and what we cannot, and the centrality of forgiveness in our relationships with our children, no matter what their age.  In addition to some hard truths, this podcast gives hope to every parent who wants to improve themselves through extreme ownership and humility.     Referenced: Virtual date night with Scott and Kimberly Hahn in October https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/date-night-with-hahns/  Covenant Eyes to protect your family - https://covenanteyes.sjv.io/MFP  Catholic Answers article: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/parents-and-the-law-of-love/ Sign up for one minute weekly encouragement: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/sign-up-for-minutes/

This past summer our family lost a beloved uncle, brother-in-law, and husband.  Alicia’s uncle passed into eternity at home with his wife, and Alicia and her sister Maria were privileged to be present for his death.  Death is a profound experience and one that we should all think about more.  Many of us are afraid to confront the thought of death though it is (obviously!) a part of everyone’s life.  Our culture influences us more than we realize and we can get lulled into thinking this world is all there is.  But this world is not our home!  In this podcast, we share the story of walking with them through this difficult experience, but also we share our reflections and the lessons that we have learned from them.    Referenced:  Virtual date night with Scott and Kimberly Hahn https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/date-night-with-hahns/  MP 022 : Dealing with Loss https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-022-dealing-with-loss/ Catholic Mom’s Summit https://www.cardinalstudios.org/a/34145/eFUzDCVz

In this podcast we continue to answer some very important listener questions about family life.  Many listeners have spouses who don’t share their faith life and forging unity when that is the case can be tricky.  We came up with some creative ideas on how to love your spouse more!  Other questions included disciplining pre-teens and teens and as well as forming their hearts.  Our Discipline Guide is a good place to start for this, but we expand on some of the ideas found there and apply them to our Questioner’s specific situation.  If you find our answers helpful, share the podcast, subscribe, and tell others about us.  And certainly feel free to send us more of YOUR questions as well! Referenced: Join our email list to hear about the virtual date night https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/join/  Messy Family Guide to Discipline - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/discipline-guide/ MFP 131 : The Power of “NO” - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mfp-131-the-power-of-no/  MP 067 : Evangelizing Your Kids - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-67-evangelizing-your-kids/ 

Listeners send us questions all the time and we try to answer them as best we can via email.  Some of these questions are really great because they bring up subjects that many people struggle with. In this podcast we tackle some questions about in-laws, and we answer from the perspective of a married couple but also from being a mother and father-in-law ourselves!  We also give our advice on navigating the minefield of politics as well as social media.  Though we have a podcast on preparing tweens for adolescence, we answer a question about that as well.  Listen in and if you have more questions, email us.  Maybe you’ll be featured on the next episode of listener questions!     Referenced: Join our email list to hear about the virtual date night https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/join/ MP 005 : Preparing your Tween (and yourself!) for Adolescence https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/mp-005-preparing-your-tween-and-yourself-for-adolescence/ Maidens by His Design - https://amzn.to/32qpnRX Love Ed program from St. Benedict Press - https://www.saintbenedictpress.com/index.php/love-ed/

Rituals are an essential part of creating connections with other people, whether that is our spouse, our children, our extended family, our local community, and even our nation.  Rituals connect how we act with what we believe - communicate values can be contrasted with “routines” that create order and address merely physical needs. Both are important but on different levels.  When routines are disrupted, its a hassle.  When rituals are disrupted, the family cohesiveness is threatened.   When something is an obligation only with no emotional/heart connection, then the value of the ritual is lessened.    Play and Pray Challenge for your family: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge-complete/   Support our ministry and get the fun kit for your family: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/patron-2020/

Looking at the turmoil we are experiencing within our culture, we are becoming more and more convinced that we, Catholic families, have the answer that people are looking for.  People are searching for purpose, belonging and identity. How do we “share” our family with the world? Well, first we need to make sure we have our own house in order.  Examine your family culture, shore up the weak areas, and be intentional about the messages you are sending.  The motivation to have a vibrant family culture is so you can take it to the next level and act in the world according to the unique giftedness that your family has been given.  We are not all called to serve in the same way -- we are all different!  When every family discovers their unique giftedness and then uses those gifts to respond to the call that God has put upon their hearts, God can establish His reign in the world.  Listen in to get motivated and learn how to discern the call that God has given to you.   Podcast references:  Build Your Family Culture, Elements of a Family Culture, Growing a Family Culture Download Play and Pray Challenge Sticker and Mass for your family: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge-complete/ Support our ministry and get the fun kit for your family: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/give/

Many of us are looking at the events of these days with despair, sadness, and even anger.  It is hard to witness division and hatred in our world and to see the suffering of those who are caught in its crossfire.  We want to respond but many of us don’t know how to.  This is such a huge problem with far-reaching consequences and deeply rooted origins.  Parents, do not allow the devil to use that which is far off to distract you from what is near!  The greatest influence you can have is within your own home.  Parents need to proactively discuss these issues with their children in order to form them.  This is YOUR job and no one else’s.  Listen in as we share our own experience and give tips on how to address these topics with your children.     Get free Play and Pray Challenge kit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/ Become a Member: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/membership/