Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." - G.K. Chesterton As we celebrate the founding of our country, we want to take time to salute and honor those families who serve our country. The decision to serve affects not only those serving in our armed forces but also the spouses and children. In this podcast, we discuss with three military families on the joys and crosses of this vocation they have chosen to live. This conversation is really beautiful because much of what they share is applicable to any and every family. Important principles like trusting the Lord in everything, investing in your community and constantly pursuing your spouse are applicable to every marriage. We also ask about the virtue of patriotism and how to pass this on to our children. We hope this podcast will inspire you, it has inspired us! Want to hear more on this topic? Check out our latest blog post on raising patriotic kids: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/raising-patriotic-kids/ Don't miss the virtual Family Board Meeting in August - https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/ Fly down to the Catholic Couples Getaway on Cozumel island - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cozumel-2023/ Join us for a Fatima Pilgrimage and Portugal Cruise - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/fatima-cruise/

"You know what my bedtime routine was when I was a kid? Darkness!" ~ Jerry Seinfeld We love our listeners. And we love answering their questions! In this episode, we are joined by our Program Coordinator, Katie (Hernon) Gamboa who represents the "every-mom" and gives us some great topics to talk about. The first issue we tackle is sleep! Since few young parents ever get enough of it, we help out by giving some tips and tricks as well as perspective. One of us is good at getting kids to lay down and one is not. We explain how this happens and how to make sure it doesn't happen to you. Another great question is in regards to big families. The more kids you have the more the humanity and brokenness you will experience as a family. Bringing children into the world isn't just a matter of another pregnancy, it is another life that you are tied to for the long haul. Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint! How do we soberly decide our family size? How do you know when and if you should take on a stewardship of another life? And the last question is in regards to fun. What does the Hernon family do for fun? The answer is simpler than you think! Listen in and join the conversation!

"It's better to be wrong together than right alone" - Michele Doman Every couple argues. Or at least they should. The reason is that arguing can be a path to unity which is what marriage is all about. Some couples argue in measured tones with carefully reasoned ideas, while others argue with raised voices and emotional exchanges. Every couple is different, but there are some principles that we all can follow to make our "discussions with emotion" more productive and focused on bringing spouses closer together. Listen in as we give you Five Ways to Win Every Argument…. Just kidding. That would not be a very good marriage podcast! We will actually give you some tips to help you forge that unity in a manner that is healthy, holy, and good for both of you. This podcast is a re-boot of "Arguing in Marriage" from March 2015.

Anxiety results from assuming responsibility that God never intended. I need to play the part God meant for me. ~ Michele Doman This is a very special podcast that takes you behind the origins of the Messy Family Project. Many of the ideas, philosophies, and lessons that we teach come from the wisdom of the Church, and also from wisdom we have gained from others. This show is an interview that Alicia did with her mom, Michele Doman, who taught her much of what she knows about parenting! Michele shares some of her story growing up in Manhattan, NYC, living through the tragedies of the Vietnam War, the confusion in Church teaching after Vatican II and the struggles she experienced transitioning from being a successful student and professional to being a stay at home mom. We believe the lessons she learned will help moms and dads out there see God's faithfulness and love for them in any situation.

"The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page." – Augustine of Hippo We want our community of messy families to be above average. Intentional. Vibrant. Better than all the rest. One way to do that is to be very thoughtful about how you spend your leisure time with your family this summer. Every family and every trip is different, but no matter what the length is or where you go, families should be sure to make the most of their time with their children. Vacations strengthen your family culture, help you and your children grow personally, and are good for mental health! But this will only happen if you are sure to define your "why" and then make a simple, flexible plan. Listen in to this podcast when we share some of our vacation experiences and give some tips and tricks for making the most of this special time with your family.

Every family has an anointing and in order to walk in that anointing we need to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit. - Deacon Larry Oney After Jesus ascended into heaven the apostles had the Eucharist. They probably celebrated mass together, they had the Blessed Mother with them, and surely they prayed and fasted. But they did not go out and evangelize, heal the sick, or preach the word. Why? They were waiting for the Advocate, the Breath of God, the Power from on high - the Holy Spirit. Often we forget that we need the power of the Holy Spirit that lives within us to do any good work. He is the one that enlightens our minds when we don't know how to respond to a child, He gives us the courage to be vulnerable with our spouse when its hard, and He enables us to lift our hearts in prayer. Join us for this interview with Deacon Larry and his wife Andi. They have two very different stories of walking with the Lord and their marriage is an unlikely match on many levels. But God brought them together and now they are serving alongside each other in preaching and teaching about the love of God and the joy they have in serving him. https://hopeandpurpose.org/ https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/

"Love is never something ready made, something merely given to man and woman, it is always at the same time a task which they are set. Love should be seen as something which in a sense never 'is' but is always only 'becoming'..." ~ St John Paul II What is one of the most important things you can give your marriage? TIME. We build relationships with the material of time - no time spent means nothing is being built. It is very easy for all of us to push time spent with our spouse to the back burner because although our marriages are Important, they are rarely Urgent. Think about it - there will always be something more urgent in life than spending time with your spouse. But there is nothing that is more important. Couples must intentionally take time to prioritize time with each other or it simply will not happen. Daily connection, regular date nights, and weekends away are all different types of time we can put aside for our marriage. You need to take time for your spouse, but you also need to spend it wisely. In this podcast, we discuss some common stumbling blocks for couples, practical ways to make this time for each other and even some conversation topics for you and your spouse.

"My kids don't get to hurt me. That is way too much responsibility for them." ~ Dr. John Delony So many of us don't have a healthy relationship with our emotions and don't have the boundaries that we all need to protect ourselves appropriately. We get caught up in the things we can't control and wind up ignoring what we can control. In his book, "Own Your Past, Change Your Future" Dr. John Delony draws on his two decades of work as a therapist and crisis responder to teach parents how to take extreme ownership for themselves and their children. We were thrilled to be able to interview John and go even deeper into his thoughts on how we can be healthier people who can then be more effective spouses and parents. The lessons that he gives in this interview and in his book are timeless. Listen in as we discuss the real definition of "trauma" and "grief", ownership of emotions and thoughts, the epidemic of loneliness and the need for friendship, and the role that parents play in all of this.

"For a Christian, joy isn't what happens when life is going perfectly; it's what happens when you know you are loved perfectly, even when life is a mess." ~ Chris Stefanick Sometimes we look at other couples and think, "Those people have it all together. It must be easy to be married to that person. We are the only one's struggling." Nothing could be further from the truth. This interview starts with fun questions like "What's the best part about being married to Natalie?" and "How did Chris pop the question?". But then, true to the brand of "Real Life Catholic", Chris and Natalie quickly opened up their marriage to us to share the very real pain and suffering that they have journeyed through together. All of us have our own battles to fight in our lives, and often we bring these battles into our marriages. The question is, do our spouses come alongside us and fight FOR us, or do they themselves become another "battle to fight"? In this conversation, we discuss the process of healing from sexual abuse within marriage, the effect on both spouses, how you can help your spouse through their struggles, and how to lean in to all the grace that the sacrament of marriage has to give. This is a raw and real conversation that we believe will speak to the hearts of husbands and wives who take the time to listen.

"In the adult, the space of acceptance is never whole, yet it is in the child. The child is really capable of listening impartially and unselfishly, the child is receptive to the greatest degree." - Sofia Cavalletti, Founder of CGS We've all been there. You're trying to calm a crying infant, the toddler is crawling under the pews, the seven year old is drawing in the missal, and you wonder if your teenager is getting anything out of this at all. What are we talking about? Taking kids to mass! The mass is the font and summit of our faith but so many times we wonder if our kids are Pay attention at all. Does standing in the parking lot with a crying infant or chasing a toddler through the vestibule count as your Sunday obligation? In this podcast, we talk about the challenges and importance of bringing our children to Jesus in mass. The world that children live in is completely different than ours psychologically and spiritually. It is absolutely vital that parents recognize this in order to nurture the child's growing relationship with Christ. Listen in as we share our stories and insights on encouraging participation in this most important family prayer, Holy mass. Funny "Post Church Press Conference" YouTube Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om-qeqwcF8g Catechesis of the Good Shepherd Parent Resources: https://www.cgsusa.org/discover/cgs-approach/cgs-in-the-home-parent-resources/ Special Catholic Couples Getaway next January: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cozumel-2023/ Take our listener Survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/messyfamilysurvey2022