Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

“One earns Paradise with one’s daily task.” ~ Saint Gianna Beretta Molla  Chores, laundry, meal preparation, etc, etc…. It never ends!  But even this part of family life is an area in which God wants to enter into our lives and teach us to be holy.  Yes, there are very practical aspects of family life that we need to just get done, but HOW we do them will effect our growth as a Catholic family.  Listen in to this podcast where we discuss how we do chores, laundry, and our family’s schedule.  Things change over the years and its important that we realize that being flexible is one of the keys to keeping family life peaceful.  Finding new chore charts, routines, and assignments at home is one way that parents can keep themselves and their kids on their toes and learning how to serve each other.  The home is the training ground for life!  Stefanick Date Night Sign Up: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/date-night-with-chris-natalie-stefanick/

“If their love is a true gift of self, so that they belong each to the other, it will not only survive but grow stronger, and sink deeper roots… only when love between human beings is put to the test can its true value be seen.” - St. John Paul II  Over the years, we have met many couples, ordinary people, who have been able to come to a deeper understanding of God’s love for them and the importance of their marriage because of the challenges that have come up in their lives. Many of these stories are inspiring, so we decided to share some of them with you.  We interviewed three couples from our Messy Family Neighborhood who have faced challenges in their marriage that they have been able to learn from by God’s grace.  Billy and Lori are a young couple who needed to learn how to operate as a family and not as “married individuals”.  David and Erin are a military family who dealt with the dangers of military conflict as well as long deployments.  Bill and Lisa have three children with various special needs who forced them to adjust their expectations of family life and prioritize each other even when their children’s needs seemed overwhelming. We all need to hear stories of God’s grace acting in the lives of other people to be inspired and encouraged. Listen in and enjoy.

The world says husbands and wives have the same or even interchangeable roles.  Some fundamentalist Christians and even Catholics say wives should let their husbands decide everything (even in regards to sexual intimacy!) and wives should obey as long as it is not immoral.  This way of thinking does not reflect the rich, intricate, dynamic teachings of the Church in regards to men and women.  A true Catholic marriage calls men and women to act in complementarity so they both become who God is calling them to be. Listen in while we unpack this controversial but essential topic on the role of a wife in a marriage.  (podcast on a husband’s role in marriage coming soon!)

Lent is a great time to take inventory of our spiritual life and ask ourselves, “How am I doing in my relationship with God?”  To help us all do that, we decided to interview Mike’s spiritual director of many years, Fr. Boniface Hicks.  Fr. Boniface is a director of directors!  A Benedictine monk, he runs the Institute for Ministry Formation at St. Vincent Archabbey and is the author of several books on spirituality.  But more important than that, he is a spiritual father giving guidance, encouragement, and sharing the Father’s love to many people around the country and even the world.  In this interview we discuss  why we should pray at all!  We also get into the practicalities of prayer - how to do it, how to make the time, and the effect it can have on our lives.  Jump in and listen to this discussion we had with Fr. Boniface and our members on our most recent Neighborhood Date Night.

You try your hardest to raise your teenagers with patience, honesty and good manners, but they still end up being like you. – Anonymous There is much confusion among teens today around the crucial questions of life and we believe it is because too many parents are not taking up their essential role in their children’s lives.  During adolescence, the parent-child relationship is crucial especially for the parent of the same sex. Fathers teach boys how to be men, and mothers teach girls how to be women.  It’s never too early to start thinking about how to handle this period of transition from childhood to adulthood.  We have seen over the years some families who do this transition very well, and unfortunately some that don’t. Listen in to this podcast as we discuss things we have done with our teens, five of whom are now adults, and how we continue to learn about this wonderful stage of parenting that brings its own joys and challenges.   We discuss these resources in our podcast today: Why Gender Matters Preparing for Adolescence Wild at Heart Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters Bringing up Boys Passport 2 Purity

After attending our niece’s wedding recently, we had some time to reflect on the significance of marriage not only in our own lives today but how being married prepares us for our eternal unity with God.  The church teaches clearly that marriage is a foreshadowing of the unity between Christ, the Bridegroom, and the Church, His Bride.  This reality should impact our marriages greatly!  We need to allow this truth to change us and make us even more serious about deepening our relationship with our spouse.  Listen in for some inspiration about marriage, weddings, and even religious vocations.  This conversation will inspire and encourage you!   Family Board Meeting Workshop: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/    Lenten program for couples: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/cana90/ Mother Daughter course: https://messyfamilyhood.com/women-signup/  Dads vs Wild course: https://messyfamilyhood.com/dadsvswild/

“Teaching kids how to handle money is more than dollars and cents, it’s about character and responsibility” - Dave Ramsey Handling money is a subject that can bring about strong emotion in couples, but it's a life skill that we need to teach our children!  How we use money reflects our values, and if we want to intentionally train our children and instill in them our deeply held beliefs, then we need to teach them how to use money.  Like most things we do as parents, teaching isn’t just talking.  Children learn by example, they learn by asking questions, and most importantly, they learn by doing.  In this podcast we take some time to explain how we have taught our kids how to use money and how they have taken these lessons into adulthood.  Although we don’t propose to have all the answers, we do share how we have handled allowances, paying kids for chores, children contributing to the household, and children taking care of their own expenses.  Listen in for some fun conversation and inspiration!

The family is a kind of school of deeper humanity. But if it is to achieve the full flowering of its life and mission, it needs the kindly communion of minds and the joint deliberation of spouses.  Gaudium et Spes 52. How do you live life intentionally?  You plan for it!  And when you are a family, that plan starts with taking some time to have a “deep dive” conversation with your spouse.  A tool we have designed to guide this conversation is called “The Family Board Meeting”.  Think about it this way, your family is your own little corporation and you are president of the board.  Well, maybe not exactly, but you and your spouse are the partners in running your home, and how can you do that effectively without a plan?  Once a year it’s a good idea to get away, dream a little and set some goals.  The most important part of this conversation is not making the perfect goals or having the ultimate budget or schedule.  It's actually about having a unified vision as a couple for what you want your family to be. That’s what it’s all about.  Listen in as we discuss this valuable tool for you and your family.  (This podcast is a throwback to 2015!)   Free Webinar and Worksheet: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/family-board-meeting/   Family Board Meeting Workshop: https://messyfamilyhood.com/family-board-meeting-registration/    Mother Daughter course: https://messyfamilyhood.com/women-signup/  Dads vs Wild course: https://messyfamilyhood.com/dadsvswild/ 

Having all our adult children along with our grandchildren at our house over the holidays reminded us that all the sacrifices we have made over the years (and continue to make!) are all worth it.  We thought our listeners would enjoy hearing from our kids’ perspective what worked for them and what didn’t, what we taught them intentionally or unintentionally, and how these lessons affect them now as adults.  We tell parents all the time that is so important to imagine what you want your kids to look like when they are adults, and we have tried to live that out ourselves.  Some topics we discuss in this conversation are the importance of forgiveness, “adulting”, managing teens, allowing kids to fail, and communicating respect for children so they know their voice matters.  We hope you enjoy listening to this conversation because we enjoyed having it!  New MFP Guide to Screens and Your Child: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/screens-and-your-child-guide/ Family Board Meeting: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/family-board-meeting/

Lovers do “for love” what never would be done for a reason, or a rule, or a doctrine or a law. True love “loves” and needs to suffer — not for suffering’s sake alone, but for the sake of what we know is only gained on the other side of suffering: Joy.  - Damon Owens   Damon and Melanie Owens have been serving couples throughout most of their 27 years of marriage and now they have launched their own marriage ministry called Joyfully Ever After.  Damon has been the executive director of the Theology of the Body Institute and, with Melanie, they have trained over 20,000 couples in marriage, NFP and in the beauty of the Theology of the Body.  In this interview we discuss some of the greatest needs they see in marriages today, what to do if your spouse is unwilling to work on the marriage, and how to increase intimacy in marriage.  Like us, they offer practical tools for living Catholic life with authenticity and joy.  Listen in as we dive into our conversation with this inspiring Catholic couple.     Damon and Melanie’s ministry to marriage: https://www.joyfuleverafter.org/ New MFP Guide to Screens and Your Child: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/screens-and-your-child-guide/ *** Support our ministry: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/give/