Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

"True love involves the selfless pursuit of what is best for the other person, even if it means sacrificing one’s own preferences and desires” ~Dr. Edward Sri We are so happy to share with you the recording of one of the largest public date nights we have ever had!  Our interview with Dr. Ted Sri and his wife Beth was fun, insightful, and, we hope, inspirational to everyone who heard it.  Their new book, The Good the Messy and the Beautiful has the same perspective towards family life that we have on our podcast - that life is full of difficulties and trials, but this is the path to joy and true life!  The goal of family life is not just to survive, but to grow in holiness.  Some of the topics that we cover in this conversation are emotional and physical intimacy, dealing with woundedness in marriage, and why your marriage is the foundation of your home, but also part of the foundation of the Church! Listen in to hear the wisdom of Ted and Beth Sri in our conversation with them.

It is not our job to change our child. It is their job to change us ~ Maggie Radzik Oh boy, do we have a treat for you!  In this podcast we have a fascinating conversation with catechist and Montessori trainer Maggie Radzik.  Maggie is a leader in Catholic Montessori in the US and she is committed to seeing the work of Maria Montessori applied in a truly Catholic context.  What is so genius about Dr. Montessori’s philosophy is that she drew her conclusions not from her own theories, but through first observing the children.  She approached the child with humility, knowing that God designed them in a certain way, and that the adults around the children need to not impose their own will and ideas on the children but instead provide an environment for that child to grow and develop into the person God made them to be.  Parents can learn much from this no matter how old their children are!  This humble approach to the child can be applied to toddlers, teenagers, and all in between.  There are so many topics covered in this podcast - potty training, discipline, tantrums, intellectual development, prayer, and more!   Listen in and join the conversation.

"Families are the ultimate and best example of a team" Every family is made up of individual people with strengths and weaknesses. Knowing these enables us to work together better! Patrick Lencioni, celebrated author and speaker, has found that there are six “geniuses” found in effective teams. Every person has two of them. When we find out our working genius and that of our spouse, we can function more effectively for the good of our family. Listen in to this podcast where we talk about the six working geniuses, how to figure out what yours is, and why it’s important. Working Genius book and free resources - https://www.workinggenius.com/resources Messy Family University events - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/university/ Join the community of the Messy Family Neighborhood - https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/membership/

“A definition of self-control is joyful mastery over one’s thoughts and desires.” - Dominican Sisters of Mary on Open Light Media  Children are little raw balls of personality - and some have more than others!  They are unformed little people and it is the job of parents to form them.  This is a great joy to be given the privilege of training a child in the way they should go, but (let’s be honest!) it can also be exhausting!  In this reboot episode we have a conversation about teaching kids self-control which is an essential virtue for any successful person.  Self-control is not only taught through things like discipline and giving consequences, it is also taught by giving our children tools and strategies to conquer the emotions inside them that may threaten to overwhelm them at times.  This conversation was released four years ago and at the end we give an update on the kids that we discuss.  It was good for us to see how far they have come!  Listen in as we talk about self-control and join the conversation. 

"A capable wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels." - Proverbs 31:10 Let’s be honest.  Moms do much more work than the average person, especially when they are at home with young children for most of the day.  Even moms who work, or who have a side hustle, rarely pull back on caring for children, running the household, and keeping everyone fed and clothed.  But this great service to the family can also be a burden, it can cause resentment, and it can cause burnout.  Moms can feel stuck, even trapped.  How do we prevent that from happening?  How can we change our perspective and embrace what we do for our family as our path to holiness and sanctification?  It comes down to three things - identity, belonging, and mission.  Listen in to learn more!  

“We are witnesses to what the Lord Jesus has done in our lives.” ~ Tony Foy, Executive Director of NET Ministries Ireland Many of you may have picked up that Mike is pretty proud of his Irish heritage.  We had a daughter who wanted to be an international missionary at 18 and Mike was hesitant until she said she wanted to be part of NET Ireland.  That was a quick sell!  NET is an organization that forms missionaries to evangelize junior high and high school students all over the world.  Tony Foy and his wife Sheena have been running NET Ireland for – years while they have been raising seven children of their own.  In this conversation, we talk about both of our experiences raising children who become adult missionaries, share our differing perspectives, and give the lessons that we have learned through it all.  Tony and Sheena are brilliant guests and we had some good crack (look up an Irish translation for that!).  It was a joy for us to connect with other like minded parents who are also in ministry to hear their wisdom and stories about this greatest of adventures - Catholic family life. 

“Most people spend more time planning a one-week vacation than they spend planning their life.”  ~ Michael Hyatt As we begin a new school year and the fall season we think this is a perfect time to start or re-start a new habit or routine in your family and be more intentional about your family culture. This is a great time for your family to do a reset! Too often we put off making changes in our family, or it ends with us just talking about it. But it doesn’t have to be that way. This is a special podcast that we did in front of a virtual “studio audience” - couples from our member site!  We recorded it with them and will be starting small accountability groups to keep the resolutions from the “reset” going.  After listening to this podcast if you want to join a small group, let us know!  Or maybe you want to get together with some of your friends and do a “reset” together.  Use this time of new schedules to make some new fresh habits for you and your family.  We are always called to begin again and move upward and onward to strengthen our family culture! 

“If you want to be a great parent, you need to be an amazing spouse”  ~Mike and Alicia Hernon Often romance is associated with shallow, fleeting feelings, but really, the romance that we share without spouses is a powerful example to our children of the exclusive intimate relationship that only spouses are to enjoy.   A kiss in the kitchen or an embrace in front of your children is not only to make them say, “Dad! Mom!  Ewww!” but it is to show them the way they are called to love.  It is this intimate exclusive love that is the foundation of the family, and the best place for children to grow is within the shadow of the love of their parents.  So it is essential that we continue to pursue our spouses and learn how to love them intimately.  This is a task that should take our whole lives!  And just to make it interesting (or difficult depending on your perspective!) men and women have different needs when it comes to intimacy and we need to be pursued in different ways.  

“We do not hesitate to declare that devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus is the most effective school of the love of God; the love of God, We say, which must be the foundation on which to build the kingdom of God in the hearts of individuals, families, and nations” ~ Haurietis Aquas, 123 What is the devotion of Nine First Fridays?  This is a request that Our Lord made to St. Margaret Mary Alacoque in 1675.  In these visions, she saw Christ revealed with His heart exposed as He explained to her that this Heart was beating with love for all humankind.  In this world that is getting darker and darker, more than ever we need to find refuge in the Sacred Heart of Jesus! The devotion is simple. Families go to mass for nine first Fridays in a row, with the intention of making reparation to the Sacred Heart of Jesus for all those who ignore Him, scorn Him, and do not love Him. In return, Christ made 12 Promises to all who complete this devotion.  You can find those in our blog this month!  If families begin this devotion in October, June will be the 9th first Friday and then you can consecrate your family to the Sacred Heart on June 16, 2023!  See below for some additional prayers to the Sacred Heart.  This small offering of ours attains for us powerful blessings!   https://www.franciscanmedia.org/franciscan-spirit-blog/prayers-to-the-sacred-heart

Love should be seen as something which in a sense never ‘is’ but is always only ‘becoming’” ~ St. John Paul II All marriages go through a cycle.  That cycle includes times of romance, when everything is going well, your love is full, and you are working as a team.  It also includes times when things aren’t so great - we call this “disillusionment”.  Disillusionment is when you don’t have the feelings of being in love; you may not even like your spouse very much!  This is when we feel dry and even alone in our marriage and we need to choose to love.  It is like times of dryness in our spiritual life.  We still show up to mass, say our prayers, and go through the motions, but we don’t feel close to God.  Our marriages can be like this as well!  We need to learn that we still need to show up to work with our spouse, choose to smile and be kind, and speak with affection, even if the feelings aren’t there.  In this podcast, we describe this part of the cycle of marriage and give some encouragement on how to deal with it and move through it because when you do, it leads to true joy, a love that is deep and real because it has been tested and tried.