Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

To become a better parent, I need to become a better person ~ Mike and Alicia One of the subjects we are most often asked about is discipline.  We know how hard it is to form the will, heart and mind of a child!  Though every child is different and every parent is different, there are some principles that we can give you to help you make a discipline plan that works for you and your spouse.  In this episode, we start with the foundational points..  First, we need to get our hearts right and recognize why we are taking the time to discipline in the first place.  Then, parents need to speak with confidence, set clear boundaries, and do so keeping in mind that your role in affirming your child is essential.  Listen in as we start this essential conversation.   Play and Pray Challenge - www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/ Catholic Couples Getaway - www.catholiccouplesgetaway.com/     Watch here - https://youtu.be/vmEzF1MCvPE   

“When we're able to put most of our energy into developing our natural talents, extraordinary room for growth exists. So, a revision to the "You-can-be-anything-you-want-to-be" maxim might be more accurate: You cannot be anything you want to be—but you can be a lot more of who you already are.” ― Tom Rath, Strengths Finder Very often parents focus on improving the weaknesses in their children, but actually the opposite is more effective.  The best way for any person to grow is to focus on their strengths - virtues, talents, or what they are naturally good at.  Using those strengths builds confidence and actually can then make up for the weaknesses.  Listen in as we discuss how to empower children through “strengths-based parenting”. Play and Pray Challenge - www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/ Catholic Couples Getaway - www.catholiccouplesgetaway.com/     Watch here - https://youtu.be/TTV85m_tlp0   

“You know that feeling you get after a good night’s sleep? Yea, me neither.” - Every Parent Ever If you feel like you are living in a state of almost constant exhaustion, you are not alone.  It's not just the sleepless nights and crazy days - that’s a reality that parents have always had to deal with.  We believe parents are more exhausted today because  there are certain elements of our culture that do drain our energy more than parents in the past experienced. In this podcast, we pinpoint those elements so you can see them, recognize them for what they are, and learn how to manage them.  You do not have to be worn down all the time!  Managing the stressors of parenting is possible and hopefully we can help you with these tips and tricks! Play and Pray Challenge - www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/ Catholic Couples Getaway - www.catholiccouplesgetaway.com/     Watch here - https://youtu.be/inI8NPgFzsg 

 "Men do not fear a powerful hostile army as the powers of hell fear the name and protection of Mary." -St. Bonaventure One of the questions we ask parents as an icebreaker for our in-person events is “How many of your childrren have used rosaries as weapons?” This is a common experience of families with young children as parents try to pray.  We get it.  For a long time, we found it hard to encourage devotion to the rosary with our children, but we have grown and learned a lot over the years! As we launch into the month of May, we wanted all our listeners to take some time to reflect on why the Blessed Mother is so important to families.  In this re-release of an earlier podcast, we talk about devotion to Our Lady, how to pray the rosary as a family creatively, and how she can inspire us in our family life.  Listen in and be encouraged and inspired! Find all this and more at www.messyfamilyproject.org Play and Pray Challenge - www.messyfamilyproject.org/challenge/ 

“Before we began the adoption process, before we could be the parents our children needed us to be, I had to grieve those losses.  I had to offer my broken dreams to Jesus, and trust He would not permit me to carry the cross of infertility unless He could bring something beautiful out of it.” - Emily Stimpson Chapman This interview with Emily and Chris Chapman is an amazing conversation about some deep and painful topics, but sprinkled with laughter and joy!  Emily Stimpson Chapman is an accomplished author and Insta personality, but she is also a wife, mother, and friend to us!  Through their own journey in the ups and downs of single life and then marriage, Chris and Emily have learned many lessons that they share with us in this podcast with wisdom and humor.  It's amazing to hear how you can go from living alone, to living with a husband, to living with 3 babies in a very short amount of time.  Add to that a basement flooding with sewage, ailing parents, and adjusting to family life overall makes for some interesting conversations!  Join us for this visit with the Chapmans and be encouraged on your unique journey with the Lord. Find all this and more at www.messyfamilyproject.org Watch here - https://youtu.be/QBesLrHJ4vw

“How can there be too many children? That’s like saying there are too many flowers.” - St. Theresa of Calcutta There is great confusion in our world, even among good Catholics, about the purpose of marriage and even the purpose of having children. Catholics do not “discern having another child”.  Instead, our default is that we are always open to new life in our families, but in grave circumstances, we can postpone pregnancy for the overall good of our family.  In this episode, we discuss how we can form our conscience to come to a deeper understanding of the role of children in our marriage that includes, but also goes beyond, financial considerations. Discerning this area of marriage can be tricky, so we called a lifeline for this one, and invited Jonathan and Amanda Texiera, founders of WalletWin, to come on and help us to navigate this issue and give couples good questions to discuss with each other and options to consider.   Watch the episode here: https://youtu.be/x_vnTYkxO9Y For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/  

“Its better to be wrong together than right alone” - Mike and Alicia   There are many things that spouses need to navigate in life - finances, educational choices, work issues, in-laws - and for all of these issues there is an “X factor” that makes all the difference - UNITY.  Without unity, even the most perfect of scenarios will not bring peace, but with unity there is nothing that life throws at a couple that they will not be able to handle.  The question is, how do you forge that unity with each other when you have two different visions of what your family should look like?  In this episode, we tackle this difficult question by encouraging couples to “push up”; to look at your life from the 50,000 foot level.  Instead of starting with the details, start with the big picture.  Those are the conversations that are most helpful.  Listen in as we give couples some concrete questions to discuss with each other to build that unity that is absolutely essential to a flourishing marriage and family life.  Find all this and more at messyfamilyproject.org Watch episode here - https://youtu.be/q365bqR8NTI

“Dream big, plan simple, act now.” - Mike and Alicia Hernon Dreaming is an integral part of living a life to the fullest.  But dreams that take us away from our vocation are fantasies and actually detract from living an abundant life.  What is the difference and why is it important? Dreaming in the best sense is an essential skill to have. Not everyone is a natural dreamer, but we can all learn to be!  In this podcast, we discuss having a Growth mindset versus a Fixed mindset and how that affects our family life. We also give some tips for how to rise above the everyday work that we do and create a vision for your family that will motivate and inspire you to grow.  Watch here: https://youtu.be/Sh-X0FGePeo Find all this and more at messyfamilyproject.org

“Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting.” - Brene Brown The emotions of young people can be overwhelming to us, but we have to realize that they are overwhelming to them as well!  How can parents help children to regulate their emotions in a healthy way?  Not every emotion needs discipline, sometimes kids need understanding and empathy to assist them in learning how to move through their own feelings.  In this podcast, we give some practical steps for parents to help their child to recognize, express, and get in control of their strong emotions.  This is an issue that can be tough for parents, especially if they have never learned this skill themselves, but it is essential for the well-being of every child.  Family Board Meeting Course - https://messyfamilyhood.com/ Find information on this and more at https://messyfamilyproject.org/ Watch episode here - https://youtu.be/ZGS5dMBEMCc

Children are really the supreme gift of marriage and contribute in the highest degree to their parents’ welfare. - Gaudium et Spes, 50 Listener questions are back!  We had a wonderful time visiting with listeners all over the East Coast and as we traveled we collected questions from them.  Here are a few of those questions including how to emotionally handle the mess and chaos that inevitably comes with young children, getting kids to behave at mass, and family of origin issues.  We also talk about bringing the Montessori philosophy into how you view your children and the importance of living with purpose.  Listen in to our conversation with Katie who asks us these questions from the perspective of “every parent” who deals with these issues on a daily basis.    Family Board Meeting Course - https://messyfamilyhood.com/    For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/   View the episode here - https://youtu.be/ICRiQC2bftA