Humanize Me

This question is one about confidence: 'I love the stuff you guys are doing about friendship, but I think it assumes a level of confidence in social situations that I don’t feel. How do I generate the kind of confidence that will enable me to initiate conversations or hold my own in social settings?' Bart has no fast-track to universal confidence to offer, but in this episode he shares a multi-point strategy that will give you a solid footing in social situations and lead to higher confidence.

When a tragedy happens, people tend to run from the pain. Dr. Kate Wiebe runs toward it. Kate is the founder and director of the Institute for Trauma and Growth, which started with a focus on faith communities and has since expanded. When a mass shooting, disaster or other tragedy strikes, Kate and her team deploy to teach leaders restorative strategies for personal and group growth. In this episode, Bart Campolo talks with Kate about what she's learned about trauma and crises, why people don’t go to counseling, collective trauma, the bond of survivors, healing, the role of faith and (even secular) spirituality, being heard, resiliency and more.

'I’m in no hurry to exit this world. I love this world, I love life, I love people, I love community, I love humanity, I love conversations, I love sex, I love all the things that make life good. I love a good cigar, I love to have my bourbon, I love a good meal, I love seeing a sunset at the ocean.' - Dave Warnock on Humanize Me. Dave is a former pastor turned humanist who earlier this year was diagnosed with ALS. In response to his diagnosis, a community of secular people rallied around Dave, and they believe his story and attitude is an inspiration. We agree!

Why are we meanest to those we're closest to? 'Facebook Bob' asks whether we're monsters for this tendency, or whether we simply don't think there'll be any significant consequences for lashing out. Bart Campolo and John Wright talk about it, and the need for greater self-awareness.

Way back in April 2017, Hank Green joined us on the podcast. But chances are, many of you who listen in 2019 have never heard it! On this week's episode, Bart Campolo introduces that classic conversation, in which he and Hank talk about individuals versus groups, how to get on the same page with people in your life, how to make the most of your talents and opportunities, and how to humanize the internet. Hank Green is a web content producer, vlogger, and now author. His new book, out now, is called An Absolutely Remarkable Thing.

Where was Bart last week, why didn't he answer anyone's emails or calls, and why didn't we release a new episode of the podcast? That's what producer John Wright demands to know at the start of this week's Q&A episode. In response, Bart lets us in on a week of private grief, and some of the thoughts that accompany it. We finish the episode with a 10-minute guided meditation / thought exercise with the aim of helping us love others more effectively.

A listener question prompts Bart Campolo to give some advice about how to open up good conversations with your children about sex and relationships. Our listener is the mother of a 12 year-old girl, who, it is discovered, is interested in a boy at school. The girl's father is panicking and concerned while the mother simply wants to ask how to keep her daughter out of trouble.

Sex expert and therapist Dr. Marty Klein has a lot to say about pornography. In this conversation with Bart Campolo, Marty talks about porn and relationships, how people are ultimately responsible for the narrative they're telling themselves, the importance of novelty in human sexuality, the 'contracts' people have in relationships, how people respond to the aging process, and how to take the first step in addressing conflict over pornography. Marty has been a certified sex therapist for over 35 years and is a popular media figure and speaker. His book on the subject, His Porn, Her Pain, is so good that Bart has read it twice.

A listener named Benjamin calls to ask why Bart feels the need to 'reinvent the wheel' with secular community-building, rather than simply join a Unitarian Universalist congregation. Benjamin says that he himself has found what he's looking for at a UU church. Bart responds to Ben's question, saying that he loves the UU movement but it didn’t feel like a fit for him personally. Bart goes on to talk about some of the potential differences between communities.

Gretta Vosper is an ordained minister of the United Church of Canada who, as a self-professed atheist, has survived an official review from her denomination and continues to serve as the pastor of her congregation. In this conversation, Bart Campolo talks with Gretta about the story of the last few years, why she stays in her church, what her congregation believes about a supernatural God (Gretta doesn't think it matters), whether the foundational narrative underlying the good morality Gretta is teaching is important or not, the differences between the United States and Canada and whether the social safety net has an effect on the amount of religiosity, and their shared mission.