Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast

Send us a textFor this episode I had the pleasure of interviewing my partner, John Swain as we dug into the challenges and common misconceptions of my stepparenting journey and our road of "blending".Find the FULL transcript for this episode at synergisticstepparenting.com/30.  Topics covered: <<[2:35]>>What was the experience like realizing that your child is going to have a stepparent?<<[4:52]>> The bio-parent's biggest fears<<[7:36]>> The stepparent's biggest fears, top priorities and mis-steps<<[10:42]>> The bio-parent's top priorities<<[13:19]>> The hardest part of blending or the step-family dynamic for the bio-parent<<[16:03]>> bio-parent's reflections on how we handled discipline<<[19;43]>> bio-parent's advice for stepparents<<[21:44]>> Bio-parent's reflection on what he would change if he had a do-over* Notes: How to leave a review on Apple PodcastsOpen the Podcasts app on your iPhone, iPad, or Mac.Navigate to the Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast.On Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast page, scroll down to find the subhead titled “Ratings & Reviews.”Under one of the highlighted reviews, select “Write a Review.” If you like what you hear – give us a 5-star rating! And let us and others know what you like about the show.

Send us a textIn this episode I interview with my stepdaughter. See the FULL transcript at synergisticstepparenting.com/29. Topics covered:- What was it like for her to be getting a stepparent?- Helpful things her dad did to prepare her for meeting her stepparent (yours truly!)- Did she have any say in getting a stepparent?- Her biggest fears about getting a stepparent- What it was like for her when I came into the picture- Her advice to stepparents to be successful when dealing with their stepkids and how to best create those opportunities- If she could do it all over again, what would she do differently?Until next time, be well!* Notes: How to leave a review on Apple PodcastsOpen the Podcasts app on your iPhone, iPad, or Mac.Navigate to the Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast.On Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast page, scroll down to find the subhead titled “Ratings & Reviews.”Under one of the highlighted reviews, select “Write a Review.” If you like what you hear – give us a 5-star rating! And let us and others know what you like about the show.

Send us a textHey stepparents! Given the unpredictability of the times we’re living in I hear many parents getting advice to create consistency and routines because they help to reduce a child’s anxiety and help them adjust to changes. And while this is true, I want to point out the other side of the coin – inflexibility. Find the show notes for this episode at synergisticsteppaernting.com/28. Covered in this episode:- How parents common think of consistency- Why flexibility is important- What is really at the heart of consistency and why it's critical you, stepparent, know it!- The importance of self-regulation- 5 strategies to help stepchildren to cope with expected changes Resources: For suggestions for how to self-regulate or find calm even during upsetting situations, please check out episode 7 at synergisticstepparenting.com/7 and episode 11 at synergisticstepparenting.com/11 on Stepparenting Sanity Routines.  I truly hope that this episode has been helpful and that you share it with a stepparenting or blended family buddy, sports mom, or book club bestie you know who could benefit from it. I would so appreciate it!Until next time, be well!* Notes: How to leave a review on Apple PodcastsOpen the Podcasts app on your iPhone, iPad, or Mac.Navigate to the Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast.On Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast page, scroll down to find the subhead titled “Ratings & Reviews.”Under one of the highlighted reviews, select “Write a Review.” If you like what you hear – give us a 5-star rating! And let us and others know what you like about the show.

Send us a textHello, stepparents and welcome. I am delighted to have you join me today because I had the special privilege of interviewing the fabulous Dr. Patricia Papernow, who is the world’s leading expert in step parenting and blended family dynamics. Today’s episode will be just part 1 of my interview with her. I’m so excited to have you join me. Without further ado, here we go … Find the show notes for this episode at synergisticstepparenting.com/27. MARIA NATAPOV: Hi, everybody. Thank you for joining us. We are here with the fantastic Dr. Patricia paper now. Welcome. We’re so excited to have you. Dr. Paper now is an internationally recognized expert on stuffy Emily’s she integrates a deep understanding of the research with four decades of clinical practice and a wide variety of clinical modalities including psycho educational, systemic and trauma informed the recipient of the award for distinguished contribution to family psychology from the APA couple and family division. Dr. Papernow is the author of one of the classic books in the field Surviving and Thriving in Step Family Relationships: What Works and What Doesn’t. And with Karen Bonnell, The Stepfamily Handbook: From Dating, to Getting Serious, to Forming a Blended Family as well as dozens of articles and book chapters. Dr. Papernow is a psychologist in private practice in Hudson, MA and director of the Institute for Stepfamily Education. We are so excited to speak with you! Clearly, without a doubt you are an expert in this field. And it’s such a pleasure to get to pick your brain and have you share your wisdom with us. If you could speak a little bit more to, I believe you've mentioned there's step families and there's blended families. Topics Covered:>>[2:15] Difference between step families and blended families>>[2:36] Difference between families who struggle vs. those who have success>>[5:08] What stepparents can do when they are having a hard time bonding with the stepchildren>>[6:21] Home is usually a safe space but with blended family tensions it starts to not feel safe for stepparents. Dr. Papernow shares advice for what to do about that.>>[7:37] How to build connection in stepfamily relationships>>[11:18] A deeper dive into the concept of "blending" and how to think about it.>>[13:19] Building family traditions.>>[16:20] How to approach stepparenting mistakesLinks for this show:Patricia PapernowPatricia Papernow LISurviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn’tThe Stepfamily Handbook: From Dating, to Getting Serious, to Forming a “Blended Family”* Notes: How to leave a review on Apple PodcastsOpen the Podcasts app on your iPhone, iPad, or Mac.Navigate to the Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast.On Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast page, scroll down to find the subhead titled “Ratings & Reviews.”Under one of the highlighted reviews, select “Write a Review.” If you like what you hear – give us a 5-star rating! And let us and others know what you like about the show.

Send us a textHello, stepparents and welcome. I am delighted to have you join me today because I had the special privilege of interviewing the fabulous Dr. Patricia Papernow, who is the world’s leading expert in step parenting and blended family dynamics. Today’s episode will be just part 1 of my interview with her. I’m so excited to have you join me. Without further ado, here we go … Find the FULL transcript for this episode at synergisticstepparenting.com/26. >>[2:05] I’d love to delve into the challenging aspects to consider during the journey towards blending the family and how to navigate that successfully particularly around the not physically present other parent with regard to the children. If you could speak a little bit to the critical things to absolutely not do.>>[2:49] couples have to slow it down. >>[3:56] keep that physical expression low. >>[4:30] Affects on kids when the other parent is bad-mouthing their re-coupling. >>[6:15] Dr. Papernow's advice for dealing with a child who's other parent is bad-mouthing their parent's re-coupling or if you're the stepparent in that re-coupling. >>[8:49] Easy wrong turns and big booboos to avoid in parenting - how to handle discipline. Identifies 3 types of parenting styles>> [13:22] "plant the seed.">> [13:55] we need to sit new ideas before we can embrace them.Links for this show:Patricia PapernowPatricia Papernow LISurviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn’tThe Stepfamily Handbook: From Dating, to Getting Serious, to Forming a “Blended Family”* Notes: How to leave a review on Apple Podcasts1.  Open the Podcasts app on your iPhone, iPad, or Mac.2.  Navigate to the Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast.3.  On Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast page, scroll down to find the subhead titled “Ratings & Reviews.”4.  Under one of the highlighted reviews, select “Write a Review.” If you like what you hear – give us a 5-star rating! And let us and others know what you like about the show. 

Send us a textHello, stepparents and welcome. I am delighted to have you join me today because I had the special privilege of interviewing the fabulous Dr. Patricia paper now, who is the world's leading expert in step parenting and blended family dynamics.Today's episode will be just part one of my interview with her. I'm so excited to have you join me. Without further ado, here we go ...Find the FULL transcript for this episode at synergisticstepparenting.com/25.We are here with the fantastic Dr. Patricia Papernow who integrates a deep understanding of the research with 4 decades of clinical practice and a variety of clinical modalities including psycho-educational, systemic and trauma informed. The recipient of the award for distinguished contribution to family psychology from the APA couple and family division, Dr. Papernow is the author of one of the classic books in the field, Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn’t. And with Karen Bonnell, The Stepfamily Handbook: From Dating, to Getting Serious, to Forming a “Blended Family”. As well as dozens of articles and book chapters. Dr. Papernow is a psychologist in private practice in Hudson, MA, and director of the Institute for Stepfamily Education. We are so excited to speak with you. Clearly, without a doubt you are an expert in this field.>>[2:12] Dr. Papernow shares her story that brought her to her work.>>[3:50] What is different about the step family vs. the first-time family?>>[7:04] In your book you mention noticing cycles for establishing these new connections and rhythms. Can you elaborate on the timeframes for this and the blending of the families?>>[14.34] StepFamilies Face 5 Key Challenges:Insider/Outsider Challenge – When I turn to my partner, my child feels like an outsider. When I turn towards my child, my partner feels like an outsider.Kids Feel Differently Than Adults About the Blended Family – kids experience the new relationship as a loss of the parent’s attention. And have a natural loyalty bind – if I like my stepparent, I’m betraying my mom or dad.Parenting - tasks in a stepfamily pretty routinely divide parents and stepparents.How do we become an us in the presence of Us and Them?How do you make it okay for kids to love both of their parents?>>[15:36] Parental tension and conflict are the biggest predictors of poor well-being in kids.Links for this show:Synergistic Stepparenting PodcastPatricia PapernowPatricia Papernow LISurviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn’tThe Stepfamily Handbook: From Dating, to Getting Serious, to Forming a “Blended Family”* Notes: How to leave a review on Apple PodcastsOpen the Podcasts app on your iPhone, iPad, or Mac.Navigate to the Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast.On Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast page, scroll down to find the subhead titled “Ratings & Reviews.”Under one of the highlighted reviews, select “Write a Review.” If you like what you hear – give us a

Send us a textHello stepparents!Recently, I was watched an inspirational talk about sharing your story. It was a TED talk, which I love, because there's always something valuable in them.In that moment, I realized that sharing my story completely, might help to shed light on this kind of experience and possibly help someone else in a similar situation, to see that they too can get on the other side of it and have a full life.This goes out to you who find yourself in a bad situation or a bad relationship. Know that you are not alone. You are worthy, you are beautiful and you can achieve absolutely anything you set your mind to. Find the show notes for this episode at synergisticstepparenting.com/24.Finding Stepparenting Strength In Moments Of Unworthiness- How to start shifting your thoughts- Maria's story of being a domestic abuse survivor- How Maria's experience helped her forge a relationship with her stepdaughter - Her message to others who might want to be a stepparent but feel they have nothing to offer a childIt will be okay and it's okay to reach out for help. Help is here and available to you. Please reach out to me at Maria@synergisticstepparenting.com. If nothing else just to share your story with me. I’d so love to hear it!You’re not alone. There are people who care. I am one of them. You can and will get through it. That's what I'll leave you with.Until next time, be well!* Notes: How to leave a review on Apple PodcastsOpen the Podcasts app on your iPhone, iPad, or Mac.Navigate to the Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast.On Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast page, scroll down to find the subhead titled “Ratings & Reviews.”Under one of the highlighted reviews, select “Write a Review.” If you like what you hear – give us a 5-star rating! And let us and others know what you like about the show.

Send us a textHello Stepparents! Find the FULL transcript of this episode at synergisticstepparenting.com/23. - What makes a great leader in stepparenting?  - 4 qualities of a great leader- The Final Stepparenting LessonI’d love to hear and celebrate your stories of leadership in your stepparenting so please email me at maria@synergisticstepparenting.com and share them!Are you struggling to develop your leadership skills in your stepparenting role? If so, book a discovery call at synergisticstepparenting.com/work to find out how I can help you transform family chaos into meaningful and harmonious co-parenting. Until next time, be well.  * Notes: How to leave a review on Apple PodcastsOpen the Podcasts app on your iPhone, iPad, or Mac.Navigate to the Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast.On Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast page, scroll down to find the subhead titled “Ratings & Reviews.”Under one of the highlighted reviews, select “Write a Review.” If you like what you hear – give us a 5-star rating! And let us and others know what you like about the show.

Send us a textHello Stepparents!It can be challenging to stand by while someone is saying things that are blatantly negative about you. Or things that can be perceived as such. It’s particularly painful when you learn of someone saying something negative about you to your stepchild. Especially when the child is little. Since little kids are more impressionable than older children who can discern more of the truth for themselves. Find the show notes for this episode at synergisticstepparenting.com/22.Topics Covered: - How not To lose yourself when facing a negative situation - An Effective Approach for Stepparents Caught in Challenging Relationship Dynamics1. Identifies how best to respond strategically. 2. You’ll get the peace of mind of a clear conscience. If you find yourself struggling with resentment, guilt, shame, anger, or any other disturbing emotions, go ahead and book a Rapid Resolution Session at synergisticstepparenting.com/rr. I’d love to help you get clear and move forward with ease and joy in all of your stepparenting relationships! And I know it’s possible for you. Until next time, be well!  * Notes: How to leave a review on Apple PodcastsOpen the Podcasts app on your iPhone, iPad, or Mac.Navigate to the Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast.On Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast page, scroll down to find the subhead titled “Ratings & Reviews.”Under one of the highlighted reviews, select “Write a Review.” If you like what you hear – give us a 5-star rating! And let us and others know what you like about the show.

Send us a textHey stepparents! I need to level with you ...Topics Covered: - Today we’re delving into exploring how perfectionism gets in the way. Find the show notes for this episode at synergisticstepparenting.com/21.- Stepparenting Support And Connection Create Courage- Testimonial from Pamela that reads: "I have listened to all the episodes thus far. Well done! Quite honestly, I think most people can relate well to the content without being a step-parent. It's very relevant! Great job! Thank you for sharing! Keep them coming."- Stepparents Support Others More Than Themselves- If you’re ready to find out how I can help you, head over to synergisticstepparenting.com/work and fill out the questionnaire for a discovery call. There's a lot of beauty out there. And yes, it IS for you.Until next time, be well!* Notes: How to leave a review on Apple PodcastsOpen the Podcasts app on your iPhone, iPad, or Mac.Navigate to the Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast.On Synergistic Stepparenting Podcast page, scroll down to find the subhead titled “Ratings & Reviews.”Under one of the highlighted reviews, select “Write a Review.” If you like what you hear – give us a 5-star rating! And let us and others know what you like about the show.