Your Anxiety Toolkit - Practical Skills for Anxiety, Panic & Depression

5 SENSES PODCAST Hello and welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit.   My name is Kimberley Quinlan.   A big part of my work as a therapist is to help clients tolerate fear and anxiety (or other forms of discomfort such as urges and sometimes pain), instead of doing compulsive behaviors.   In effort to keep this podcast short, I wont go into detail about compulsions. But, if you are wanting more information on compulsive behaviors related to specific anxiety disorders, eating disorders, or Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors, please go to my website under “Areas of specialty”   The reason I decided on this specific topic today is because of the common question asked by clients “If I choose NOT to do these compulsive behaviors, what should I do instead?”.   Well, I like to think of our experience in this life like looking through the lens of a camera. When we are anxious, we often ZOOM in on what is making us anxious or we zoom in to our sensations of anxiety. We FOCUS on the problem. We stay zoomed in, thinking this will solve it.   That makes sense, right? If we could just figure out how to solve the problem, we would then fix the problem, right?   But what if zooming in was not the solution. What if zooming OUT was the solution?? Hmmm, interesting right??   One of my favorite activities for clients (or for myself) when anxious or dealing with discomfort involves just becoming an observer. The following meditation is an exercise of this. It is a meditation of noticing. I like to call it “the 5 senses Mediation. I hope you enjoy it. And feel free to leave a comment in the comment section of the blog that accompanies this podcast.     OK, I want you to find a place where you can rest, preferably in sitting position, and take a deep breath.   And then another.   You are here because you probably are uncomfortable.     Something just happened that created a lot of anxiety or distress for you, - or maybe you just finished up doing an exposure.   I can imagine that you are experiencing some pretty uncomfortable feelings. Maybe your stomach is in knots.  Maybe you have a really tight chest or maybe a racing heart rate. Maybe your head is spinning, telling you to “make this anxiety or this feeling go away!” You know from experience that doing a compulsive behavior keeps you in the cycle of anxiety.   So instead, you are here, sitting with your discomfort.   Again, take a deep breath and congratulate yourself for how brave you are.     After another breath in…and then out, I want you to shift your gaze to your noticing mind. As you breathe in and out. I want you to close your eyes and just notice what it is like for your chest to rise and fall. Continue to breathe at a pace and depth that feels good for you as you observe.     Now, I want you to shift your attention to what you hear.   What sounds do you hear? Are they pleasant or unpleasant? Try not to get too caught up in your emotions about the noises. Just notice them   You may find that your thoughts drift off, try not to be alarmed or frustrated. This is just your brain doing what it does. Just bring your attention gently back to what you were noticing.   If you find your mind keeps going other directions, that is ok and very normal.   Don’t give it too much attention. Just notice and return back to the meditation.   Again, return to your breath. And now, I want you to notice what you smell? Continue to breathe and observe the scents around you. Did you notice them before? Or are you just now noticing them?   Take another deep breath, and this time notice if there is a particular taste in your mouth. Do you taste the flavors of your most recent meal? Or do you have the freshness of your toothpaste on your tongue as you observe the sensation of taste. What textures do you notice?     So, we have already explored sound, smell and taste. Now I encourage you to gently open your eyes and notice what your see. What shapes do you see? What colors do you see? Are there any particular colors that you enjoy? Or do you notice an aversion to certain colors or textures. Try not to get too caught up in what is the “right” way to observe. Just notice that you are noticing. That is all this is about.   Lastly, I want to you gently close your eyes again and notice your breath again. As you breathe in an out, turn your noticing mind towards the sensation of being pulled down onto the chair by gravity.   Where do you notice the strongest pull of gravity? Is it under your thighs and buttocks as you sit? Or is it under the soles of your feet, if you are standing? Or do you feel a strong pull of gravity under your back, as you recline in your chair? Isn’t it interesting to notice this??? You might also notice what it feels like to touch whatever it is that is close to your hands. What texture do you feel? Is it soft or hard? Maybe crinkly? Maybe spongy. If you like, you might also notice what it feels like for the air to touch your skin, maybe on your arms or on your face. If you find that this creates discomfort for you, gently return to one of the other sensations that you enjoyed.   Remember, there is no pressure with this meditation. It is just about noticing.   Again, return to your breath. Before we wrap up with this meditation, I invite you to slowly open your eyes. Give yourself one last breath, this one a gift for with you just did! Fantastic job!!   As you continue to breath, go into your day using your noticing mind as much as you can. You might work to just observe what flowers you see as you walk to your class? Or you might notice and observe what it feels like for your hands to grip your fork as you eat? OR maybe you just notice your breath, going in and out of your chest.   Enjoy your day!   Please note that this podcast should not be a substitute for professional mental health care. Please speak with a professional mental health care provider for information on what tools would best suit you.

Lovingkindness is a great way to create more compassion and self care in your life.   I was recently lucky enough to attend and present at the Trichotillomania Learning Center Annual Conference in Dallas for those who suffer Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors. The conference was filled with a beautiful group people who struggle with hair pulling and skin picking, two disorders that are grossly misunderstood and stigmatized in our culture.   What struck me over the long weekend was the incredible love between the attendees. There were tears and laughter and hugs and love shared between so many people from all over the world. On the last day, I could see that most of the tears were coming from the fact that they most would leave their conference family, where they were accepted, and return back to their lives, where they feel so alone and were no longer fully understood. I share this meditation in hope to create or continue an experience of love that that I felt so strongly during such a beautiful gathering. It is a loving kindness meditation that has helped me greatly when I feel alone or misunderstood and I hope it helps you also.

The First and Second Arrow During this podcast, I hope to give you some tools to manage judgment, or what is sometimes called “the second arrow”.   My hope is that this podcast can help you have a more non-judgmental relationship with your body and your body’s experience of anxiety and discomfort.   Intended for those suffering OCD, Anxiety, Panic, Eating Disorders, Depression, Stress and worry.  NOTICING with Non Judgment: MEDITATION Take a long, deep breathe in.   And slowly exhale. Take another. As you breathe in and out, congratulate yourself for taking the time to do this. Just stopping and breathing can be difficult and uncomfortable when you are managing life, anxiety and stress. Good job! Again, take a nice deep breathe in and slowly exhale. If you find that taking a deep breathe is too uncomfortable, just breathe at a depth and pace that feels good for you. There is no “right” way to do this.  Now, I want you to continue to breathe in this fashion, but as you breathe, notice where in your body you feel discomfort. Is it in your chest? Your stomach? Your forehead? Your shoulders? Just do a quick inventory and just notice where your discomfort lies. Once you have identified the areas in which you are uncomfortable, I want you to practice just breathing while you notice these discomforts. Take some time to experience the discomfort.   Try to just be with it, without running away from it.   Again, good job. This is not easy. Now, as you notice where your discomfort lies, I now want you to notice if there are any judgments about your experience. These judgments come in the form of thoughts, such as “I cant do this” or “I shouldn’t be this anxious”. Maybe you are having the thought.. “this feeling is awful!” or “I hate that I feel this way and I shouldn’t have to feel this way” . You might start to compare yourself to others, having thoughts like “Most people don’t feel this way, something must be wrong with me”. These thoughts are all judgments.             Judgments are not facts.         They are usually a person’s personal reflection on an event, often subjective to their beliefs and views. They are often not true at all. When it comes to judgments, I love the Buddhist parable about the first and second arrow. This parable uses the metaphor that when we experience an event that causes discomfort in us, it is similar to being hit by an arrow.   In this case, we will call that first experience of discomfort “The first arrow”.   The first arrow is something that we cannot control and is challenging, even painful. If we were to look back at our experience at the beginning of this meditation, the “first arrow” would be the physical discomfort you noticed when you first did an inventory of your body. The second arrow is the judgment that we have about the discomfort we experienced. These judgments are often what reinforces the pain and discomfort. The second arrow is a personal narrative that pulls us into a pattern of faulty thinking about our experience and our ability to tolerate anxiety and the discomfort that is present.  The sensations and judgments you experienced just a few minutes ago is a great example of this. I invited you to notice your discomfort, and it is common to immediately follow this noticing with a judgment about our experience.     It is the judgments such as “I cant handle this” or “This feeling should not be here” that makes the first event even harder. In fact, we could argue that the judgment is what can keeps the discomfort around….it keeps us feeling fearful, discouraged and sometimes hopeless. So, lets go back to noticing. Notice again where you are uncomfortable, or remember back to an event that caused you discomfort. When you observe this event or feeling, the first arrow, you might start to notice feel those second arrows coming up again.  If you were to remove that second arrow, the judgment, you would begin to see that this event or this feeling, is, in fact, just an event or feeling. And also, it is temporary.   If we strip ourselves of judgment, we can allow this moment to be just what it is; a moment. It is neither good, nor bad.   And now, in THIS very moment, it might be slightly different to the moment you experienced just a few moments ago. So, to conclude this mediation, I encourage you to go into the day, noticing first and second arrows. You might be surprised how often you are spearing yourself with an arrow that is not necessary. I will be offering other podcasts that I hope will be helpful for you, so keep checking in. Please feel free to comment below on the blog page  I hope you have a wonderful day!