The Numinous Podcast

I'm not gonna lie. This one's a doozy. In this episode of the podcast, I am the guest and I say the F word and several other swear words, a lot. The full-length version of this conversation was published in video form as part of Rachael Rice's series, Confronting Whiteness. I met Rachael and Marybeth online and we became familiar with each other's work through Facebook conversations. It was evident to me from the beginning that these are women who know what time it is (#revolutiontime). If you're on Insta, you should definitely follow them. In this conversation, I tell the story of The Racist Dinner Party and I rant about white fragility in Well-intentioned White Women Sisterhood spaces. I make the case for developing a more mature and nuanced relationship with shame and honour, and I implore white women to become more resilient when it comes to racial conversations. Here are the excellent resources cited in this episode: The Roots Of Addiction In Free Market Society Decolonization Is Not A Metaphor The Bluest I Blog by Michelle R Smith Is Shame Necessary?: New Uses For An Old Tool by Jennifer Jacquet  

Today I'm talking to my girl, Jessie Hemphill, and we're having a warm and wonderful conversation. It's like we're all sitting down for tea and Jessie's telling us stories about growing up Gwa'sala-'Nakwaxd'axw and Métis in rural coastal Canada while passing for white. We hear a bit about 'Nakwaxd'axw mythology, what her Indigenous name means, how she became a politician, and what it means to do urban planning using culturally-based Indigenous planning processes. Finally, I tell the story of how I became infatuated with met Jessie and she changed the course of my life with some magic words. Then we dish about our unhealthy ways of coping with grief and rage. In the end, it's abundantly clear how much we love each other and this whole show is just a meeting of our mutual appreciation society. You should definitely learn more about Jessie and recommend her company to any community that is looking for a facilitator who can sit in the truth and hold space in the heart of the matter.

This special episode is a recording of an hour-long keynote address I gave in the fall of 2016. The title of the talk is, "Learning To See In The Dark: Reclaiming Our Power, Transforming Our World". It's a deep dive into the Dark Woman archetype, how she shows up in our lives, why she is so feared and what her purpose is in transforming our lives and our world. For further reading: Charlene Spretnak Jean Shinoda Bolen Demetra George Caroline Casey Carol Leonard & Elizabeth Davis Peggy Reeves Sanday Marije Gimbutas

In this final episode, I talk more about the spiritual void underpinning the abandonment wound. I also provide a framework and suggested exercises that clinical hypnotherapists and other healing practitioners might use to support clients in their journey from abandonment to healing. This framework is based on Susan Anderson's model of the Five Stages of Abandonment.  

In Part 2, I dive deeper into Attachment and Addiction. Additional readings I suggest in the introduction to this episode are linked below: The Attachment Parenting Book, by Dr. Sears Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need To Matter More Than Peers, by Dr. Gordon Neufeld and Dr. Gabor Maté Hold Me Tight, by Dr. Sue Johnson Attached, by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller The Opposite Of Rape Culture Is Nurturance Culture, by Nora Samaran The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity and Love, by bell hooks  

A therapist I once worked with said it best: Abandonment is the gap between what you need and what you get. Abandonment arouses the primal fear of infancy and childhood, that of being left alone to fend for ourselves. This kind of wound is cumulative: every loss, betrayal, disappointment, rejection (perceived or real), break-up or death can trigger the primal Abandonment Wound. Rather than dissipate, feelings incubate. Everybody has an Abandonment Wound. The issue is not whether or not it exists within us, it’s how well we’re coping with it. In 2014, I delivered a lecture at the Canadian Association of Clinical Hypnotherapists Conference called, "Healing The Abandonment Wound: A Five Step Process". This is a special Numinous Podcast three-part mini-series that expands on that lecture with additional readings, resources and thoughts about how this work has evolved in the three years I've spent focussing the client work in my hypnotherapy practice in this area. Resources cited in this episode include: The Roots of Addiction in Free Market Society, by Bruce K. Alexander Rat Park, by Bruce K. Alexander and the comic it inspired by Stuart McMillen (not mentioned in this episode but equally entertaining work describing Rat Park is the video, "Everything We Know About Addiction Is Wrong") In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters With Addiction, by Dr. Gabor Maté The Journey From Abandonment To Healing, by Susan Anderson You can explore this work with me further at: www.carmenspagnola.com/abandonment-therapy/

Lindsay Rose is a Reiki Master and intuition development teacher who has experienced more than her fair share of loss and tragedy in her life. In this episode, Lindsay shares the intimate story of her healing journey along with a host of techniques and tools that helped her cope when the sadness, pain and anxiety was overwhelming. This is an excellent episode for anyone who's struggling with the pain of death, a break-up or any form of abandonment. Learn more about Lindsay Rose at her website or on her blog. Find out about Love School at Locate Your Soulmate.

I chat with living occult encyclopedia, John Michael Greer, author of popular blogs, The Archdruid Report and The Well of Galabes. John is Past Grand Archdruid of the Ancient Order of Druids in America and current head of the Druidical Order of the Golden Dawn, and the author of more than thirty books. (Makes you wonder what the heck you do with your time, doesn't it?) In this second conversation with John, we talk about why ritual sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. I ask him about the placebo effect in relation to ceremony and healing. He tells me about a Druid communion ceremony (???) in more detail, including a description of the use of solar and telluric currents of the cosmos. We talk about the impact of reclaiming the gods of nature. And then he schools us on "decensus" and genetic drift. It's a broad, sweeping and thought-provoking conversation about how and why the universe works the way it does and how humans behave in relationship to the greater realms. Whew!

My marketing crush, Carrie Klassen, shares the story of a heart-wrenching experience that occurred while she was volunteering at a shelter for abused girls and women in India. How We Met I first came across Carrie's work some time around 2009. When she released her workbook, How To Write a Loveable Homepage, she became the go-to adviser that I recommend to any entrepreneur who feels icky when it comes to sales and marketing.  

When she was 19, Shayla Logan was homeless and suffering from severe depression with suicidal tendencies. For six months, she lived on the street while working her way through the court system to take control of her life. A near-death experience changed everything.