WTF is on my Mind?!

Mark Vicente
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Jun 1, 2025 • 1h 20min

40 Years Under His Spell: Waking Up from NXIVM

Episode Summary:In this deeply intimate conversation, Mark sits down with his old friend Karen Unterreiner — a woman who spent four decades at the epicenter of what the world came to know as NXIVM. Once a high-ranking member, deeply entangled both professionally and personally with Keith Raniere, Karen shares her long journey of waking up from psychological captivity.What does it mean to have your entire adult identity shaped by someone else’s manipulative design? How do you start to rebuild a self when that self was never fully yours to begin with?Karen and Mark dive into the mechanics of grooming, the slow erosion of boundaries, and the double binds that kept people loyal. They unpack the devastating misuse of “ethics” as a weapon, the shame loops that silenced dissent, and the emotional landmines survivors navigate when they begin to deprogram.Together, they reflect on friendship, betrayal, and the unexpected ways connection can spark liberation — even years after separation.This episode is not just about NXIVM. It’s about the broader pattern of coercive control — in groups, relationships, families, and institutions — and what it takes to truly reclaim your mind.⚠️ Content Warning:This episode contains discussion of psychological abuse, grooming, coercive control, gaslighting, and long-term trauma. Please listen with care.Support the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/
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May 25, 2025 • 50min

Dinner for Vampires Part 2 w/ Bethany Joy Lenz

Breaking the Spell — Motherhood, Escape & Reclaiming her Voice | Part 2In Part 2 of this powerful conversation, Bethany Joy Lenz — actor, singer, and author of Dinner for Vampires — continues her story of life inside a high-control religious group while navigating fame on One Tree Hill.This episode picks up where we left off: unpacking the emotional, spiritual, and psychological cost of living under manipulation — and what it takes to reclaim your voice once you’re out.We talk about:- The lingering effects of indoctrination- The intensity of public life versus private suppression- Shame, perfectionism, and the fear of being “bad”- Narcissistic dynamics in spiritual systems- Expressing rage and grief through artJoy speaks with clarity, insight, and zero performative fluff — just one survivor speaking truthfully about the systems that tried to define her… and the long process of becoming herself again.📚 Buy the Book📖 Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show (While Also in an Actual Cult!) by Bethany Joy Lenz Follow Bethany Joy Lenz →https://www.instagram.com/msbethanyjoylenz/Support the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/
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May 18, 2025 • 46min

Dinner for Vampires Part 1 w/ Bethany Joy Lenz

Living Two Lives — Hollywood Fame & Hidden Cult Control | Part 1“You can’t be human here.”In Part 1 of this raw and revelatory conversation, One Tree Hill star Bethany Joy Lenz opens up about the decade she spent inside a high-control religious group — all while filming a hit TV show and hiding a double life.We talk about:- The slow creep of coercive control masked as faith- The emotional and spiritual suppression that comes with people-pleasing- The inner split of being both artist and captive- How spiritual language is used to dominate- What it feels like to finally scream, “Fck God, Fck Jesus, Fck everything”* — and why that moment was sacredThis isn’t just an interview. It’s a conversation between two people who’ve lived inside systems that punished authenticity and praised obedience. What emerged is a vulnerable, unfiltered exchange about waking up, falling apart, and coming home to yourself.👉 Part 2 drops next week, where we go even deeper into Joy’s escape, motherhood, financial exploitation, and her journey to rebuild trust and voice.📚 Buy the Book📖 Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show (While Also in an Actual Cult!) by Bethany Joy Lenz Follow Bethany Joy Lenz →https://www.instagram.com/msbethanyjoylenz/Support the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/
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May 11, 2025 • 1h 22min

Wolves in Suits: Psychopaths in the Workplace w/ Dr. Cynthia Mathieu

This episode contains candid discussion about narcissistic abuse, psychopathy, high-control systems, workplace trauma, and cult dynamics. Please listen with care.What if the charming, high-achieving leader at your company—or in your government—isn’t just a narcissist… but a full-blown corporate psychopath? In this revealing episode, I sit down with Dr. Cynthia Mathieu, a psychologist and professor who studies “dark leadership”—the presence of psychopathic traits in organizational power structures.Together, we dive into:How to spot a psychopath in the boardroomWhy some HR departments miss the real dangerThe emotional cost for those caught in toxic systemsWhat happens when we glamorize these traits in mediaAnd yes—what it was like to unknowingly study psychopathy… under a cult leaderIf you’ve ever questioned your gut about a leader’s intentions or felt gaslit in a workplace, this conversation will help name what others try to deny.Dr. Mathieu is the author of Dark Personalities in the Workplace → [Link to book]More about her work: https://cynthiamathieu.com/en/Support the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/
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May 4, 2025 • 1h 14min

Interview with a Narcissist

Guest: Jacob Skidmore (@TheNamelessNarcissist)“People say narcissists wear a mask… I am the mask.”Jacob Skidmore has been diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He’s one of the very few who talks about it—openly, unfiltered, and without a script.In this raw and revealing conversation, we dive into the unsettling inner world of NPD: the chronic emptiness, the relentless need for admiration, the calculated personas, and the aching desire to be understood?This is not a redemption arc. It’s a glimpse into a mind built to perform… and a human being trying to make sense of it.⚠️ Content WarningsThis episode contains raw discussion of:Narcissistic personality disorder and manipulationEmotional detachment and maskingChildhood trauma and psychological abuseVindictiveness and self-loathingIf you’re a survivor of narcissistic abuse, please listen with care.Support the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/
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Apr 20, 2025 • 35min

Cult Logic: The Self Sealing System

In this episode, Mark Vicente unpacks the concept of self-sealing systems — those airtight ideological loops used in cults, extreme religious groups, and even political tribes to block out dissent and lock members deeper into belief. Drawing from his own lived experience in NXIVM (aka ESP), Mark explains how these systems use circular logic, linguistic reframing, and fear-based conditioning to keep followers compliant and questioning outsiders.He explores:The emotional traps of “being at cause”The psychological architecture of films like The VillageHow certain keywords trigger shame, dismissal, or moral superiorityThe chilling trend of algorithmic censorship around trauma-related crimesWhy courage means examining your own side — not just pointing fingers at “them”This one might ruffle some feathers. But if no one’s pissed off… is he even doing his job?Support the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/
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Apr 13, 2025 • 27min

The Cult of Weaponized Introspection

In this expletive laden and unfiltered solo episode, Mark Vicente dives deep into the subtle, insidious ways abusive individuals and systems exploit our longing to grow, reflect, and “be better.” He explores the psychological unraveling that happens when introspection is hijacked to suppress personal agency.Drawing from his lived experience in NXIVM, Mark unpacks how coercive groups often encourage relentless self-examination not to empower, but to disable. The more you question yourself, the less you question them. He shares how terms like “narcissism on a spectrum” and “interdependence” are weaponized to gaslight dissent and justify control—especially over sensitive, self-aware individuals.The episode also takes aim at the modern digital landscape, where platforms like YouTube reward hysteria, obedience, and superficiality while shadowbanning nuanced, divergent voices. Mark wrestles with a painful dilemma: should he tailor his messaging to appease the algorithm gods—or remain steadfastly authentic and risk invisibility?This is a reflection on the price of truth, the cost of being “too sensitive,” and the mind games that keep good people doubting themselves while abusers thrive.Themes Explored: • Weaponized introspection & the psychology of disempowerment • Narcissistic abuse vs. healthy self-assertion • False narratives around “everyone’s a narcissist” • Coercive control in high-control groups • The trap of endless personal responsibility • Digital censorship, shadow-banning & algorithmic obedience • The tension between authenticity and visibility in online spacesSupport the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/
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Apr 6, 2025 • 1h 26min

Escaping the Lie: The Cost of Pretending Everything’s Fine w/ Josh Connolly

What happens when truth becomes your only option for survival?In this unfiltered, emotionally honest conversation, filmmaker and whistleblower Mark Vicente sits down with Josh Connolly—a resilience coach and breathwork facilitator who’s spent over a decade helping people reconnect with their inner truth after trauma. Josh talks about growing up in a dysfunctional home, breaking out of addictive roles, and how society at large mirrors the same toxic family dynamics we try to escape.They also dig into: • How addiction isn’t just about substances, but about escaping ourselves • The lie of spiritual bypassing and “you chose this” narratives • Why the ones telling the truth are often scapegoated • Building community without falling into cult dynamics • Rage, sadness, inner child work, and the daily choice to stay aliveIf you’ve ever questioned your reality—or been told you’re “too sensitive”—this one’s for you.📚 Josh’s Book:It’s Them, Not You – How to Break Free from Toxic Parents and Reclaim Your StoryAvailable now: https://www.joshconnolly.co.uk🌀 Connect with Josh:Instagram: @joshconnolly_Website: https://www.joshconnolly.co.ukSupport the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/
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Mar 28, 2025 • 1h 18min

The Hidden Dangers of High-Functioning Predators w/ Dr. Karen Mitchell

In this powerful and revealing episode, filmmaker Mark Vicente sits down with Dr. Karen Mitchell, founder of the Kalmor Institute and the author of one of the most groundbreaking PhD theses ever written on dark personalities.https://kalmor.com.au/https://x.com/karenmitchell__Karen shares the results of decades of research and direct experience, unveiling a chilling but deeply important truth: narcissists, psychopaths, Machiavellians, cult leaders, toxic executives, and coercive controllers may all be subsets of one single high-level predator—what she calls the Persistent Predatory Personality (PPP).Together, Mark and Karen explore:- How these individuals operate in corporate, medical, religious, and legal systems- Why many are high-functioning, charming, and completely hidden- How academia and the justice system often enable or overlook this abuse- Why “the mask” of empathy is often just a calculated act- The emotional, mental, and reputational devastation experienced by targets- Red flags to look out for—and why reporting often makes things worse before it gets better- The tragic impact on children, families, and even democracyThis is not just a conversation about abuse. It’s a call to wake up to the patterns, the tactics, and the systems that allow this behavior to thrive. If you’ve ever dealt with narcissistic abuse, manipulation, or invisible harm—this episode is essential.Key Topics:- The truth behind the “Dark Triad” and the “Dark Tetrad”- Why most research has been looking in the wrong place- The danger of self-reporting studies when studying liars- Coercive control: from domestic violence to cult dynamics- Why dark personalities are attracted to power, law, medicine, and even charity work- The difference between true predators and trauma survivors who mimic similar behaviors- Why our society is desperately under-equipped to deal with these peopleSupport the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/
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Mar 23, 2025 • 30min

Dignity, Trauma, Google Gods, Archeology and ‘Truth’ in a MAD World

In this solo episode, filmmaker and truth-seeker Mark Vicente shares what’s been stirring in his mind—from the deeply personal to the culturally explosive.He starts with an exploration of dignity—what it is, why it matters, and how it’s the missing ingredient in many conversations about boundaries and self-respect. Through stories and personal insight, he dives into the internal work required to reclaim one’s worth, especially after experiences of coercive control, narcissistic abuse, or cult entanglement.Mark also challenges the idea that we can simply "move on" from trauma. Drawing from his conversations with cult survivors, he shares why unprocessed pain never truly stays buried—and how it inevitably seeps into our relationships, our bodies, and our choices if left unhealed.Then things take a turn: he unpacks recent archaeological discoveries beneath the Pyramid of Khafre using SAR (Synthetic Aperture Radar) scans—findings that seem to confirm the theories long ridiculed as "conspiracies." He calls out the mainstream resistance to new truths, especially when they disrupt long-held narratives.This leads into a passionate reflection on shadowbanning, censorship, and algorithmic suppression—including what appears to be a deliberate silencing of a previous podcast episode featuring a Black female guest whose voice, ironically, challenges the very systems that claim to protect marginalized voices.Lastly, Mark questions what we even mean when we say “the world.” Is it the real world—or the carefully filtered version we’ve been fed through screens, algorithms, and corporate media?This episode is messy, real, and deeply human. It’s not about having answers—it’s about asking better questions.If you’ve ever felt like the world’s gone mad, this one’s for you.Support the showThe views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MarkVicenteWebsite: www.markvicente.comYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@markvicente7Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markvicente/X: https://x.com/markvicenteTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mark_vicenteFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/markvicente/

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